Throwing Food from the Highchair

My son did the same thing. just be more patient she is only a baby. She is getting enough to eat and will grow out of this. Just relax and let things go.Sounds like you need a break.

Hi A. S.

When my three children began to throw food from their highchair I took that as they were finished. I would clean up the mess and the child and they were finished eating. The routine of throwing food stopped when my children found that throwing food was not acceptable behavior. I hope this helps. Good Luck.

Hello A.,

Congratulations on getting your daghter successfully to 15 months old!! This is the age where they really start their jobs as "little scientists."

I also got rid of the high chair at this age, replaced it with a small table and chairs he could come up to whenever he was hungry and graze from.

You can tell her that throwing food is not OK, but then show her what she CAN throw. She has a need to throw/drop, and you can help her satisfy it by directing her toward approprioate throwing objects.

Every misbehavior is a symptom of a need that is unmet, or "missed."

In the words of Ruth Beaglehole, CNVEP, "Every behavior is a tragic attempt to meet an unmet need... tragic because the behavior in question will NOT result in the need being met."

In this case your daughter might have a need to experiment with gravity. You might have a need for a clean floor. What could the solution be?

It is our challenge, every time our child "miss" behaves, to determine what that unmet need is, and then help them to find a behavior that meets that need, rather than misses it!

I recommend "Your One Year Old" and "Your Two Year Old" -- if you learn about ages and stages, then you will be better prepared to respond appropriately to them and help your daughter really blossom.

Lots of Love,
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com
http://rivieraplayschool.blogspot.com/

Hehehe. Little scientists. I just LOVE this stage.

Kids are fantastic. Not only do they get to test the theory of gravity by dropping things, and play around with physics by throwing things (does it ALWAYS work this way? What if I do it THAT way? What if my eyes are shut? What if it's squishy/hard/liquid/hot/cold/etc. ad nauseam?), but in addition to figuring out the world around them, they also get to figure out their control of that world AND the people in it. Will they notice? Every time? Will they laugh/scowl/talk to me? If I drop this do they ALWAYS bend over to pick it up? What if it's quishy/hard/liquid/hot/cold/etc., what things get them to talk, or bend over. What are the determining factors??????

Kids will test and test and test... but they aren't really TRYING to test our patience. They're discovering. Does that mean we should let them throw food? No, not really. But it's easier to deal with once you know why they're doing it.

There are a couple of methods to dealing with it:

- Ignoring
- "Done Now" ... aka you throw food, no more for you
- Stopping and having them pick up and clean up everything they make a mess of
- Having them clean up everything at the end of the meal
- Portioning out food in bites.... AKA, they only get one bite at a time
- Changing *where* they eat
- Getting really excited about throwing things, but direct it to things and places where it's okay.

It's obviously possible to do some of these in combination. We did the last 2.

1) We changed it so our son ate with us (he was out of a highchair young). In the beginning that meant that sometimes we spread a blanket out on the floor and did it picnic style. But whether it was at the table or living room picnics, having that incredibly seductive tray for sloshing, smooshing, flicking, and throwing food off of was gone. He had a direct behavior to observe and copy... ie US eating in the same space he was.

2) Whenever he found something fascinating (but inappropriate) I'd get excited, stop what we were doing and take him to a place where he could "do" that exciting behavior. So throwing food meant throwing a ball outside. For dropping it we'd drop different kinds of objects off the bed (kleenex, balls, toys, etc). Then we'd go back to eating. When he would start to drop/throw/etc. I'd remind him "Not HERE, silly. REMEMBER? We can a,b,c.... when we're x,y,z. But right now we're eating. We don't do that with food. Why do you think we don't do that with food?"

By getting him in the conversation (if old enough, otherwise I'd supply answers for him), it's gets them thinking. Which is REALLY what was so absorbing about the behavior in the first place. "What will happen if I......?"

Sounds like my 15 month old son, but he's getting better. I usually save some of the food aside and I make sure to feed that to him myself. Also, we have a chair with a tray that I can put on the floor. When he eats there, he's not interested in throwing the food at all... I guess it's the hight. But keep in mind they don't do this on purpose, but to learn how things (gravity in this case) work. That's a good developmental sign she does that. Hang in there, she'll go to the next phase soon.

Annoying as it is to moms, this is perfectly normal behavior for her age. She'll be "dumping" all kinds of things for the next year or even two. If it's that annoying to you I suggest that you give her a tiny amount of food at a time, and if she throws it immediately just take it all away, CALMLY (that's the hard part), saying "Oh, I guess you're not hungry. Let's try again later." If she's eaten some and then starts throwing she's done, and wants your attention. Also suggest you get one of those seats that attaches to the table, so she can sit with the family and not off on her own. Re: nutrition - children don't starve themselves, she'll eat what she needs.

My son did the same thing and it was maddening! I taught him to push the food he didn't want towards the outer edge of his tray. It got his message across that he was all finished. As far as the nutrition end of it, try reading Ellyn Satter's book - very enlightening.

She is doing it to get a reaction from you. Ignore her for a few days. Don't even let her see you pick it up. It will take a few days but it worked for me.

Thank you for asking this. Mine does it too, and I can benefit from your responses. She's over two and nothing discourages her. She really likes to feed herself (and does it really poorly due to medical problems), so I have to keep mealtimes light and pleasant because I want her to eat. I do bring the high chair to the table at dinner time and make her tell me when she is "all done" with signs or words. She really likes to throw the spoon, cup and bowl, so we sit right next to her, and as soon as she goes for the bowl, we dump the food on the tray (or some of it, and put the bowl out of reach) and she has to eat it off the tray. Which is a little challenging with cheerios and milk. If she throws the spoon, "her turn" is over and she has to let me do it, which she hates. I also use the stern voice and tell her no, but it doesn't phase her. The only thing I can't do is end the meal, because she is severely underweight. I have to take the attitude, that whenever she wants to do something age appropriate (like feeding herself and experimenting with gravity), I have to let her,and just try to be cheerful about it. I don't let her spoon feed herself out in public, because it is just too messy, and I have a limited amount of food on hand. (She can't eat most table food). I limit the opportunities to drink from a cup more than I would like to, just to keep it manageable. That's all I have to offer, keep it in perspective developmentally, try to discipline somewhat to shape the behavior, and keep a light attitude when everything you try does not work. The older she gets the more you can talk to her about it and negotiate a bit more.

I watch my son like a hawk and as soon as my mommy instinct says he's going ot start a one man food fight I grab the food and put it up. My son only does this when he is done with the food or doesn't like it. As long as he is actively eating it he's fine. I've also found that he is much less likely to do it if he doesn't think I'm paying attention. I'll work in the kitchen behind him or sit near him and look at a book or magazine. And if all else fails just suck it up and deal with it! I promise that your kid won't turn out to be a total nut just because you couldn't get her to have good table manners. She will get over it. I just casually say 'well that was a little rude' or 'you know better than that' and pick the stuff up. Sometimes I even 'ask' him to help me pick it up. He doesn't really like that one and I've noticed he only throws stuff that's easy to pick up! Kids are SO much smarter than we think they are at. This is one of those behaviors that they learn to use to get your attention. If you don't seem to even care they often stop. Believe it or not your daughter knows that this behavior is wrong already and she's still doing it. Since it isn't just loads of fun she is probably doing it for attention so don't give her any and hopefully she'll learn something constructive to use to gain that attention.

Hi A.:
Your Daughters behavior isn't nasty,its very typical for her age. I know,you've had to see numerous pictures and commercials,depicting A toddler in their highchair,with a bowl of pasta,that they've poured over their head!How about the little stinker that motions (all done),then the camera focuses in on all the food on the floor.Maybe you've seen the one where the little girl,has a plate of peas,with a couple she stuck up her nose!! Come on A.,you have to have a better sense of humor.Yes,she does it for attention,and entertainment purposes. If she can get a (OH MY) or a giggle out of you,You've made her evening.Your daughter shows signs of feeling care-free,and funny.Why do you want to ruin her act? lol. There can be a few reasons for toddlers tossing food off their tray. One reason,could be that she wants to feel more like part of your party.She may feel a little alienated in her high chair. Try taking off her tray,and pushing her up to the table with you and your husband,and see how she does.If you put her food on the tray,and not on a dish,or if you put to much food in front of her,she can feel over whelmed,and just be trying to get rid of some of it. I know,its not always easy to put yourself in your child's shoes,but sometimes,this is the easiest way to figure them out.Imagine yourself at this young age.Someone sets food in front of you.You can't communicate yet,to tell them"Hey I don't like this" :I don't care for the taste of that""This thing looks like a bug I saw out side today"You would get rid of the bad things and keep those you liked next to you to eat.You can't ask for them to be removed.You don't have anywhere to get rid of them,so you throw them off to the side.This act,isn't naughty,or nasty,its really quite natural,in a very simple immature mind.Try including her at the table,with less food on her plate,and if she still tosses food,don't make such a big deal of it.Simply use this opportunity to teach her. "you don't like corn? You like peas a lot don't you? Mom will take the corn so you can have more peas.Teach her a sign to use,when she dislikes something,or when shes full.I like Arimadas response. She could just love the feeling of dropping something from above,and watching it land. It's important for you to not make this bigger than it is.Shes acting her age.The stage doesn't last long. Get your camera out mom. These humorous moments won't last forever.I wish you and your (funny girl) the best.J. M

both of my kids went through this. My son is 22 months old now and still does it once in a while. It's just a phase that all kids go through. I think that if they are hungry enough, they know when to eat. Just keep telling her that it's not ok to throw food and if she keeps doing it, then just feed her yourself.

Both my kids did that and I made them pick it up at that age. Both cried a lot but they didn't throw food on the floor anymore. Good luck!

We're working on this too! I have a 15 month-old, and we are mostly working on this with her cup. If she drops it, I tell her "no", and then I say, "let's try again. When you're done, give to mommy or put it on the table." And then she usually gives it to me with a big grin. I figure this way I'm telling her what is wrong, but also training her to DO what is right. With food, I only put a little on her tray at a time. If I see her throw it, we "try again" and she may give it to me or put it on her tray. If she acts like she's finished, then we end the meal. "Let's try that again" is popular in our house right now with just about every behavior that needs correcting! As much as possible, I try to practice with her what is right (even sitting on the couch instead of jumping on it!). Looks like you've gotten a lot of great tips here!

My son did the same thing...just end the meal. No more food, no more spoon, take it away and tell them it's not ok. They'll get the message. Don't worry about if they are getting enough food...my son was growing like a weed, through it all, but honestly after you end the meal a few times, they'll start to learn, or at least not do it until they've had their fill of food anyway. My theory was he started to do it when he was full and got bored.

Good luck!
-M

It's frustrating, I know. I have two 20 month olds and they still throw food on to the floor. I'm sure I've said a thousand times "we don't throw food on the floor" and "cups go on the table, not the floor". Sometimes one throws food or a cup down and then I'll give him a disapproving look, then the other will see that and drop something while looking me in the face. At this point I'm trying to not give too much attention to what they are doing because I think now they 'know' food does not go on the floor, but they just like to see my reaction. So I try to ignore the mess most of the time. Unfortunately there is clean up afterwards.

I do still spoon feed them a lot of the time for the purpose of making sure they get enough to eat. Also we cannot afford too much waste. They do know how to use a spoon and fork because I have taught them how. Plus they are learning by watching. I do let them paractice by themselves too. I know you're supposed to let your toddler 'practice feeding themselves', it's important for their development. A child won't have the dexterity to feed themselves 'properly until sometime around 2 years. So I mix it up at feeding time. There are certain foods that I don't let them feed themselves, like yogurt.

Unfortunately for parents, I think being messy part of the process of a child's learning. It may be a while before she understands that you are really upset about what she is doing and actually listens. She is testing her boundaries right now. That is normal for her age. I hate to tell you but 15 months is just the start of it. As they get older they will learn about good and bad behavior. Just stay consistent with how you teach them. My guys just turned 20 months and I am anticipating the terrible twos x 2 any day now. Bracing myself now and practicing taking deep breaths, lol!

I have a 5, 3.5, and a 10.5 months old. I found the best solution to be having them join us at the dinner table.
At first, I used the strap-in toddler chairs without the tray. Now I have a Tripp Trapp from Stokke. They are expensive, but they will last forever--it grows with them and they don't look like 'children' chairs at the table.

My 10.5 month old throws his food too, but now that he's at the table, he doesn't anymore--he's part of the family!
Good luck

Hi! I don't have a response, but the same problem.. I have a 14month old doing the same thing..I'm aslo worried that she isn't eating enough and drinking more milk bottles because of it ..I would love to know any advise u get ..
Thanx..

Looks like your daughter has found a new game to play with you. Although it may not amuse you, she seems to be getting a kick out of it. I know it's annoying to have extra cleaning to do but this is what having a 15 month old is like and it takes a lot of work and a lot of constant reminding them to keep their food on their plates but it will happen in time. Until then, only give her dry finger foods like cereal and pretzels to eat on her own and only give her mushy, slimey foods like mashed potatoes or pizza to eat when you are there to supervise and control the situation so that she doesn't have the opportunity to toss it up into the air and watch your funny reaction when she does so.

Good luck.

I think it's totally normal. I leave it all on the floor and make my daughter pick it up at the end of the meal. Supposedly if it inconveniences them, they will stop doing it. My daughter is two though- with a 15 mo old you probably have to stop and take her out and have her pick it up immediately after she throws it. Doing it at the end of the meal will not connect at that age.
It seems to work for my daughter- she went through a phase and now she doesn't do it as much anymore. She realized that I wouldn't let her go play until she picked up the food, now she picks it up right when I ask her to after letting her down. So I guess the next step is for her to translate that into not throwing anything at all...

She still tests us every now and then- usually when she done with her meal and getting bored. We don't let her get away with it and it has gotten better.

My 14 month old is doing it and when she does, I take her food off of the tray and I just hand feed her and do not give her the chouce of being a big girl and feeding herself. When she starts to eat regularly again, I will put some of it on her tray and let her feed herself, but as soon as she throws it, I take it off again.