When to Tell My Three Year Old That I Am Going Out of Town?

Updated on March 27, 2008
B.B. asks from Fort Worth, TX
6 answers

Ok I have way to many things to do before my trip this weekend and yet here I am. We (hubby and I) are going to NYC this weekend. We are leaving for the airport Friday @3:00 pm. That is usually when my dd is napping. So do I...

1. Tell her goodbye before nap and let her wake up to grandma who is taking care of her while we are gone? OR

2. Wake her up and tell her goodbye? Then let me MIL endure the crying and me the torture of seeing her cry?

This is the first time that my husband and I will be away from the kids for more than a few hours for a date night. And we are not going to be close enough to come home should any one (3 girls 3,7 and 8) need a hug or any thing else for that matter. Please give me some advice. TIA.

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So What Happened?

Well a couple of days ago I started talking about our trip and telling the kids that we are going to be gone. They are handling it quite well. The older girls had a crying spell least night but other than that everything is going smoothly. Thanks for all the advice. I under the wire to get everything done. Thanks again mammas.

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is almost 6 and my huby and I just went on a cruise together.. we started telling her about it about 3 weeks before we left.. she was upset about it at first and then after talking about it for a while she was so use to hearing about it .. she didnt care anymore.. I would not wake them to say bye.. like one of the other moms said.. you are just asking for tears.. but I would however..before they go to bed I would make sure they know you will not be there when they wake up. I have very strong feelings about keeping your kids in the know.. (to an extent obviously) my dad would do that to me when I was a kid.. he would tell me until the last minute he was going to go.. and it killed me.. I just wanted a little time to prepare myself.. That is my suggestion.. another thing that helps is that you have more than one.. I think my 8 month old did really well b/c he had his sister with him.. and the other way around too.. he kept her occupied.. I hope my advise helps..even at 3 .. she understands more than you think she does.. and my daughter has proven that to me over and over again...

1 mom found this helpful
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R.E.

answers from Dallas on

When my son was 3, my husband and I went to Los Angeles for a week. He stayed with my parents, so we played up all the fun he'd have with them rather than the fact we'd be away. Before we left, I made a video of me saying his bedtime prayers and Daddy saying his favorite story. We left the DVD with my parents. I also wrote him a note for each day we were gone, so he could open it up and my parents would read it to him. I'd tell him in the note about something fun he and Grandpa would be doing that day and something fun mommy and Daddy were doing that day as well as how much I loved him. According to my dad, he really looked forward to those notes and watched the DVD every night before bed. Since you have 3 girls, I'd write them each a quick note for Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday morning before you come home. Even before kids, my husband and I would do that when he'd go on business trips. I always thought those were fun and something to look forward to. ALso, it serves as a visual "count down" to when you come home.

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Make this be all about her and her fun time with big sisters and grandma. Tell her that you are glad she is finally big enough to for you to leave, so you are going to go for a few days so that they can do all kinds of fun things. Rent a new movie, plan for a fun craft or cooking project, let them order pizza, or plan for a cool Saturday outing. Believe it or not, she may find it so fun that you are leaving grandma there (my kids do) and not be too concerned about your leaving. Dont worry though, that is the sign of a well parented kid, if she is not dramatic and upset by your leaving, she is confident and knows that you will always return. For sure dont wake her up, just let her know with just a few sentences what is going on, and let it be just that simple, no drama from you or the other kids, just a matter of fact situation. Have a great deal of fun and dont worry about the kids, they will have tons of fun:) ~A.~

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S.D.

answers from Dallas on

DO not wake a sleeping child to tell them goodbye!!! Yikes .. that's just asking for tears!!!!

Tell her that you'll be going on a trip .. don't make it a sappy 'goodbye' session, ya know. Just give her all the details and let her know that Grandma is going to watch her etc! Maybe pick her up a new toy to have for when she wakes up or something like that.

Good luck .. she'll be fine .. and you will as be as well!!! :-D

1 mom found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

Just breathe!!!
She is going to handle it as hard as you are IF you handle it Hard.
Make it an adventure for her. Show her on a map where you are going. Tell her what you plan on doing. Then bring back your programs of what you tell her or bags or whatever you can. And that you will call her everyday, if that is what you want to do.
Maybe even go to Build a bear and get her a special before the trip it could be the hug when they need one.( if you can work that in). Be truthful about it all and tell her that you will miss her but will be home soon.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

she'll be fine!! Start preparing her now...start telling her that mommy and daddy are going on the plane soon and that she will be with grandma! She'll be fine. Definitely DO NOT wake her up to tell her bye though!
Have fun in NY!!

1 mom found this helpful
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