I'm Going on Vacation for the First Time Without My Son!!

I just left 2 of my kids-ages 8 and 3, for two weeks. I had the one year old with me. The first 5 days was good...I felt like I was on vacation. Only one child to cae for, no house to clean. I was sooooooooooooo bored and had lots of time on my hands. Day 6 and on was terrible. I was crying all the time, just wanted to be home with my kiddos. They had a great time being home with daddy! It was just 2 weeks of play! I was sad cause I wasn't missed. My advice...KEEP BUSY! When I got home, the boys had made me bracelets, and talked up a storm, they had to tell me every moment of my being gone! It was cool. (They hardly talked to me on the phone while I was gone!) Good Luck! HAVE FUN!!!!

I recently had the same experience w/ my 4 yr old son. The first two nights were the worst for me and I decided that I would never leave him with anyone I thought couldnt handle the responsibilty. He stayed with grandma and 11 yr old sis.

I told myself for the rest of that week i would call once a day only, around evening, before bedtime. Trust me I had a blast afterward and I told myself if they needed me they would call.

decide that you deserve this time and have fun, fun, fun!!!! you wont regret it.

I haven't been on vacation yet without my 2 yr old, but have had to take a few work trips, the most recent being last week and I was gone 5 nights - which was much harder on me than him :)

Anyway, for the times I have to travel, we bought 2 webcams (you can get the cheaper ones for $25-50) and we have a video conference towards the end of the day so we can talk, and mostly so I can watch my son play. He gives daddy's computer a kiss and hug and talks for a few minutes, and then he's back to playing. Some hotel's have very slow connections, so that could affect the video conferencing.

Enjoy this time for YOU! You deserve it! I am sure you will miss your son a lot, but try to focus on the fact that you can just relax for a few days. I've been 2 nights apart from my daughter and I miss her like crazy, especially the first morning when she's not there. But I try to focus on the fact that I get to sleep in finally! Look at the pros of this "time off"! Have a great time!

It's hard to tell someone to stop worrying, but STOP WORRYING!
I went to Lithuania and Latvia for 3 weeks when my son was 3 years old. When I got somewhere where I could use a phone, I found out my husband, son, and daughter had been in a car wreck! They were all fine. I came home to see my son had given himself a haircut. It never occurred to his dad to take him for a haircut and try to even things out. But, I was busy on my trip, made a lot of a new friends. Nothing was going to happen to my kids without me that wouldn't happen with me. I really didn't start to want to go home until about 24 hours before I had to leave.

5 days is nothing, you can call all you want, but I would discourage it. Know that to be a good mom to your son, you have to be a good person. If you're rested, happy, in touch with yourself as an adult, you'll be a better mom to your son.
Enjoy!

relax...enjoy yourself. You deserve this. Thats how i've done it. I always missed my daughter when i was gone, but knew it always did me good to take time out for me. You know your sons in good hands with your parents and his father. Think of how rejuvenated you'll feel after the trip thats a positive for both you and your child. Have a great time!

Can I go with you? Please?

My son is almost 3 and I haven't been gone for 5 days but last summer we went on a float trip and were gone from early friday morning until sunday night and it wasn't too bad. Since your going on vacation you'll be busy doing stuff and having fun and that will keep your mind off of it. You will miss him a ton but just try to have fun and enjoy yourself and I'm sure you'll be VERY excited to see him when you return.

I don't have too much for advice except to attempt to enjoy yourself. You deserve it! Just check in each morning afternoon and evening if you have to and then let it be. I have left my children for 4-5 day vacations and to be honest, it takes the first 2 days for me to finally unwind and accept that they are ok without me. After that, I can relax and be myself and I find that I don't need to check in three times a day, just once or twice. Also, if you have the $$ and your vacation allows for it, get a massage or something else equally relaxing and try to get back to yourself. Sometimes us moms forget that we are women and have great importance besides just being a mom!

My husband and I have gone away twice now since having kids. They have both been hard in the beginning. Like some of the other posts, I was really worried the first day or two and then realized they were fine. I would call once a day (since we were out of the country both times we didn't want to run up a huge bill) and my sister would tell me they were fine and then I would feel a lot better. I never talk to them on the phone though. It was too hard for them. It was like saying goodbye again every day and reminding them I was gone. They had a great time being with their aunts and uncles and cousins. Like someone else mentioned too, they were the most relaxing vacations overall and really reenergized me to come back and deal with reality. Have fun!

okay well i am not a mom but my best friend got me these newsletters sent to my email so i thought i might as well see what i can do. Anyways my nephew is very very attached to my mom,his grandma. My brother, his wife and their 3 kids, including the said nephew, are moving to Texas in just a short while so my mom and my nephew went and bought a copy of a childrens book. One copy for her and one copy for him. That way when he misses her he can call and they can read the book together. I don't know if that helps but he really seems to like the idea that they have a special book.

I always took my daughter with me on vacation, one year I decided to go to Jamaica without her.
That was the best vacation I have ever been on, dont get me wrong I love and missed my daughter, but it was great to not be in mommy mode for once, I deserved it.
I called her every morning to start the day off right, it was good for the both of us.
I plan to do an adult trip every year now, and then take her on one with me. go have fun you deserve it, he will be in good hands, your not leaving him with strangers, your leaving him with family, it will be good for the both of you.

It is hard to leave them for the first time, but you will be OK and you will even have fun! I left my daughter for a weekend trip with the girls when she was 8 months old. My girlfriend and husband took care of her while I was gone so I knew she was in good hands. I cried at the airport, but once I got out of town I was fine. Just take a picture with you and have fun!

I travel with my job not that often but enough to where it's harder on me then my two boys 3yrs & 1 yr. It helps me to bring lots of pictures of my kids with me and have a positive outlook. Sure I cry everytime I go away which is maybe once every 3-4 months but I still do. I'm a mom it's natural!

When I leave on a trip I make it an adventure for my 3yr old. I tell him mommy is going out of town so him and daddy are going to have a "guys" week. They do a camp out in the living room and do "guy things". It makes me feel better to leave knowing he is bonding with his dad. It's important my husband makes his own special memories with the boys. Kids need to have one on one time with each parent and do thier own special things.

Sure I miss him but it comforts me to know that when I am gone he is bonding with his dad and to me that's very special. This also gives me some time to be a little independent of the family so I can be a better mom. I take those evening hours on my trip to go to the spa or read a book I never get around to doing when I'm home. For me it's taking a different perspective that helps. When I get lonely for my boys I call or look at my pictures.

my husband and I went on a vacation together...alone...when our daughter was 19 months! She was with her grandparents and I knew she was fine but it was so hard not to worry and miss her like mad. In fact, worrying about her (needlessly) ended up putting a kink in the vacation fun. My advice (as hard as it will be) is to ENJOY YOURSELF and know that you being rejuvinated is good for you and for you son!

I hate to tell you this but there's not much you can do. My son was about 2 1/2 before I took a vacation without him and I started crying I guess the 3rd day (he was staying w/ my mom in our home). Even though you know that he is taken good care of and with ppl that love him you can't help but worry because you are so used to being the one taking care of him. Just take some pics of him with you and if you can use a computer camera and you can talk and see each other each night. I also heard or read that one mom would take a book on her trips and read them over the phone at bedtime - might be worth a try. Try not to worry too much - he'll be fine! :)

We just got back from a vacation without our kids and you will be glad you went even though it is stressful to leave. One thing you can do is leave a note with apicture of you for each morning you will be gone with a little gift for your child to open. This way they have something to look forward to. Also my experience says only talk to them in the morning not at nigth when they tend to get sad when talking to you. Have your parents plan lots of fun outings and things will be just fine!!

K.,

Our son was probably about 3 when I joined my husband on a business trip. Of course it was difficult, but so important for all of us. I, to this day, go on a trip once a year without husband/kids. My husband and I have been together 22 years and the kids are 13 and 17. I found it helped me sooooo much just to get a way and take a bath without interuption. Read a book for more than a few minutes at a time. And just relax.

Take a deep breath, and enjoy!

Lori K

ps. my very favorite trip of all time is sailing around the British Virgin Islands for a week with 6 other women. Talk about total relaxation without contact at home! But it took me years to get to that point!

I recently left my two for the first time a couple of weeks ago. They are 2 1/2 and 9mo. I tell ya, the anxiety beforehand was far worse than the trip itself. Once I got to the airport I was fine. Sure, I called 3 or 4 times a day to check on them but the rest was all anticipation prior to leaving. Have fun and enjoy yourself.

My husband and I just returned from a 4 day vacation withouth out twins. It was sooooooo hard and we talked about them the whole time. As a couple, it was great to get away just the two of us. You'll miss him like crazy, but that's ok!!!

Call and check on him a LOT :) Have you practiced talking with him on the phone? I don't know if I could do it at that age.

Suzi

This is what I said to myself when leaving my kids for an extended period of time...
"If you are going to worry about them then you must not think the people taking care of them can do it.....I shouldn't go if I"m afraid or worried that something will happen. If I know that they can take care of them then I should leave without worry. If I spend my days worrying about my kids then I will not benefit from the wonderful things that this trip has to offer ME. My children will grow from this and so will I. I need to remember that I am important and I deserve this time away. I love my children so much, but I love ME too and I can trust others to take of them. They will miss me, but I will have stories and adventures to tell them about when I get home"
This did help me realize that when I got home my kids would be fine. Spending my vacation worrying was not going to change that outcome if I worried or didn't worry the same things were going to happen while I was gone. The worrying was going to change only one thing, HOW MUCH I ENJOYED MY VACATION.
I hope you get what I'm trying to say...it wasnt easy to put into words, but I did go through this struggle just last year when I left my kids and husband for 14 days. I took a trip that CHANGED MY LIFE and if I would have spent the time worrying I would not have received all the wonderful things that trip had to offer ME. The kids were fine when I got home and they loved hearing about my trip. When I left last year my girls were 9 and 2.

I remember the first time we left our kids a couple of years ago. I did fine while we were gone, I was having fun and really enjoying the "freedom" of being me. The day we were coming back home was SO HARD! I called my mother-in-law, and convinced her to tell me what I didn't want to hear-that my daughter was having a really hard time with me being gone. Well, of course, with layovers and everything it took us the whole day to get home, and I cried the entire day!! When we got home I ran into the house (crying, of course) and scooped up my 2-year-old daughter, and she started wiping my tears-yep, you guessed it, I cried even harder!!

We have left a couple of times since then, and each time gets much easier (especially b/c they're older and more rotten!). You deserve a break, so try to have fun while you have the chance. I often pack a picture of the kids in my suitcase so I can look at them every morning when I wake up. Have a GREAT time!!!

As long as you trust his caretakers, just relax and have a good time. It will be a waste of time and money if you spend the whole time worrying. Here's a Girl Scout camp tip for you though - before you leave, write him letters - one for each day you are gone and have whomever is caring for him can give him one each day. It's fun to get mail, and mail from mommy will be a blast. Then he can write back to you. (I know he's only 3, but scrawling counts and grandma or daddy can translate what he says.) You will both feel more connected and you'll have a little stack of special keepsakes to remember the vacation.

I suggest calling early in the day to talk to him. Calling at nite is when he's going to be most tired and emotional and it may be harder on you both to talk then. Also, talking to whoever is taking care of him daily is important, but if everything really is going well, I would limit the number of calls to him. He will be just fine!

I have taken several trips through the years and all I can say is I needed it, no guilt, made me a better mom to have time to myself for more than a few hours here and there. It made me closer to my 3 boys, they never resented me being away. The hardest part about being gone is the preparation, trying to make sure I thought of all the details. But the people you leave him with are capable or you wouldn't leave him with them. So enjoy yourself!
Make sure you take care of medical stuff, permission for them to make decisions of healthcare, notarize the form you make ( banks usually do it for free). Good luck. Have fun! L.

you'll be so great, and it'll be SO worth it! just make sure you have lots to do each day (don't kill yourself, but stay active) and you'll be fine. he's three so he probably loves talking on the phone so you'll have that. trust me, my son has been spending time with grandma, every couple/few weeks, since about 2-3 months (we live fairly close and i really want them to have the bond i had with my grandma) and it has been the BEST thing for us. not only do my hubby and i get plenty of "us" time, "I" can sometimes take time just for myself and it's a miracle worker. over 4th of july week our sitter is taking the week off, so he'll be staying with grandma for three whole days...i'm so excited! trust me, it'll be great for you. you'll still worry about it, but try to look forward to the time you'll get to just be with yourself. congrats and have fun!