What Would You Do??? (Kinda Long!!)

It happened and it's over. You apologized now let it go. Stop talking about it, stop thinking about it and get on with enjoying your summer. There is nothing more left to be done.

I wouldn't avoid the sister, that would be childish to me. I would just let it go remind whoever brings it up that it happened awhile ago and the kids have gotten past it and so should we. I would just leave the pool toys at home as to not have the item that caused the conflict around but I would just move on. Really it shouldn't be that serious. These things happen and you have the rest of the summer to enjoy so enjoy it without the added drama.

I agree that you need to take the high road and just say, look, we saw this differently. I apologized at the time, can we just move on? The kids are probably over it by now. I would still do things with your friend, and if the sister can't get over it, she doesn't need to come.

If I were you, I'd call the woman and tell her it sounds like a misunderstanding. Even if you KNOW her daughter pushed yours, I would let it go if you want the kids to keep playing together. I would be SUPER annoyed by the entire situation, but I suggest taking the higher road. Tell her that you wished she would not have left and that if you offended her by yelling, you are sorry but that you were more yelling at 'all' the kids and not just hers. Next time, don't take the noodle or any toys or only take one if you have enough for everyone.

On the OTHER side of the coin, you could ignore her text or text her something back like "I'm sorry we didn't see eye to eye on that situation and that you felt the need to leave." and leave it at that and when she's going to be around, don't go. Keep your friendship with your neighbor but do not engage with her sister.

Not much you can do I think a "friendship" would have blown up anyway because kids do this. Give it some time and see if your neighbor cools down, or doesn't and go from there. As you probably know kids fight then a minute later they are best friends again.

I think if you go tot he pool again bring your kids toys. there is no reason you should punish your kids because of your neighbors sister.
If it helps I would have done the same thing you did.

Don't lose a friend over a misunderstanding with her sister. There is no way you or the sister is going to convince the other of what you saw happen. What I would say/text at this point is: "I thought I saw your child push mine under the water which led me to raise my voice. I have apologized for that . . . can we move on?" That should be the end of it unless the sister is psycho or something. Good luck!

I wouldn't "do" anything except tell the sister (once again) that you're sorry you yelled at her kid but you expect other friend's mom to treat YOUR kid as they would treat their own and that's probably exactly what you were doing.
Also, texting over this incident seems childish to me--you two need to talk voice to voice or face to face as soon as possible to put this to bed.

I agree that you shouldnt let this affect letting your daughters play together. The fact is some mom's just dont think their kids can do no wrong (my aunt was like this with my cousin) I dont believe in yelling at other peoples kids, but if another child is indangering another child or themselves it should be adressed, and if she did push your daughter I don't blame you for yelling, but it doesnt seem like she is going to conceed to that happening. you're going to have to be the bigger person

I too like what McMoma said... I'm curious about what your daughter said, did she "slip" or was she pushed? Sorta of funny that she text you that the girls were "fighting" but her daughter doesn't have a "mean bone in her body"

Whether the kid slipped or did intentionally push your daughter - you don't yell at other people's kids. The first thing you should have done was make sure your daughter was ok, then let the other little girls mom handle her. Just because you might have been 2 seconds closer to the little girl doesn't mean that you get to punish her. You deal with your situation, meaning making sure your daughter is ok, then let the other mom deal with her situation. Think how you would feel in the other mom's situation - having someone else yell at your little girl for what you believe was an accident. Even if/when my kids do something wrong, I will be the one to punish them (or their dad). I would never tolerate someone else "yelling" at my kids.

I concur with McMama

Are you mad at the mom who ran away instead of talking to you directly, or mad at the kid(who may have misbehaved but is still just a kid)? If the kids play together a lot, and you've never had a problem with them fighting before, then you could try to let it go. Accept her text as an attempt to smooth things over(even if she didn't mean it that way). You could tell her yes, you know her child is sweet and that she's a good mom who raises her child right(if it's true), but you were worried about the safety of your baby and you turned into super protective mama bear.
One time my son was playing with his younger cousin. His cousin chased him and fell down. My SIL was scary mad at my son for putting hers in danger. Even though I thought it wasn't completely my son's fault, I respected her right to feel protective of her child.

You have to watch kids like an eagle around water so I think you were right. Whether she slipped or was pushed, it doesn't matter...kids DIE in pools. I wouldn't respond at all and let it go. If you feel you do need to say something to her, just say you are super protective of your kids around water and leave it at that. Good luck!

I'd call her back, tell her that for the kids' sake, I want to model how grownups handle conflict, and tell her you have differing views of what happened, but you would be happy to let it go and hope that the sister will, too. It would be a shame to break the kids up over what sounds like one impulsive move on a child's part (wish I knew how old the girls are).

One of the commonest ways to bring pain into the world is to get more stuck on principal than on compassion. Principal is important. And for a peaceful and happy life, compassion and forgiveness are even more important.

There's a lovely Sufi poem that I fall back on when faced with disputes in my own life, and it has served me well:

There is a field
beyond our ideas
of rightdoing
and wrongdoing.
I'll meet you there.

My best to you all.