How Would You React?

Those are the things that I can't get out of my head. When I have been wrongfully accused and don't feel like I have adequate opportunity to state my case. When someone has been given the wrong impression of me and who I am. I am better about not letting it get to me than I used to be, but I hate being blamed for something I didn't do!

If this is what she's really like, and we see the real person underneath the facade when we see how they handle crisis so this is the real her, then thank God you found out sooner rather than later. Let her keep her anger and hostility and stew on it, and you let your son be the loved child in the neighborhood. It's actually a gift he has and you don't want this biddy around to squash it.

Eww, that was crappy.
Avoid them, they seem like trouble.

I hate it when we find out our neighbors aren't as fabulous as we thought they were!

But this would be a reminder to me to keep a closer eye on my four year old.

Conflict with a neighbor is yucky, I'm sorry, but it'll subside. Think about the neighbors you have whom you KNOW are awesome!

:)

Sounds like your neighbor was having a bad day and took it out on you! Sending her son down the street with a cell phone, that's ridiculous!

Are her legs broken or is she afraid of face to face conversation between two adults?

.

Sounds like you both lost it.
You were obviously mad and yelling. My son is 16 and if you came over that ticked, he would have told me too.

The older boy may very well have believed that you were mad at him even though you said you weren't. Something got lost in translation, for sure.
You yelled because you were upset, she freaked because you were yelling in front of her son.
It's a wash.

I think your son is as friendly and trusting as mine. For that reason, they will go anywhere with anyone and not think twice about it. Even more reason to never let them go anywhere alone. They can disapear in the blink of an eye. That may be why the lady asked him repeatedly if mom knew where he was and why she got so defensive. I'm glad you were able to stay so calm. I'm not sure after a scare like that I would be able to.

she doesn't know how to confront people face-to-face. That's sad.

Sounds like you are better off without this neighbor or her son.

Sorry you had to go through that. I too would've been upset with my son for not being where he told me he was going to be. While it's great that you live in a neighborhood where you know your neighbors, your son was wrong in not telling you where he was going.

GOOD LUCK!!

I don't think I would worry about the mom - she sounds like she's not very reasonable. I would, though, so speak with the boy's grandparents who are your neighbors. Just tell them that you want to be sure that they understand that you were not speaking to their grandson and that you specifically told him that and you are sorry if his feelings were hurt. Let them know that you like them as neighbors and you just want to make sure they understand so that you can keep camraderie (sp?) in the neighborhood.

I do think this was totally normal reaction on your part. I think the mother of the teen son was a bit confused on what really went down. I would go and speak with her face to face. If she still did not understand the misunderstanding I would drop it. We live on the corner and all the kids gather in our side yard as it has the most space. One of the neighbor girls was at our house and as usual we asked if her mom knew where she was. About thirty mins later we get a frantic phone call from the mother. Yes she is at our house and going home right now. The best thing we did was explain to the little girl that her mom was worried and she lied to us. We explained that when a mom cannot find her that it is the same scared feeling that the little girl gets when she is lost at the grocery store or cannot find her mom. Then we told her to hurry up and go home to get a spanking. She asked her mom later if she really did get worried? So we know she understood and never did that again!

I would try once going and talking to her face to face. Smile and be friendly...tell her again you are sorry but that you were worried when you could not see your son. Tell her yes, you told him he could come down to talk but you thought he would be in the front yard. Tell her you think there has been a misunderstanding...and that you were not mad at her son at all. You were just frustrated/worried and were telling your own son that he needs to stay where he could see you. Tell her that her son was very sweet and it was so nice of him to talk to a little kid. Again reassure her you were not mad at her son at all. I think her mama bear came out and she was just trying to protect her own son...and it was just a misunderstanding. If she does not get it then she does not get it...then just leave them alone. And don't forget to give your son a big talk about what he is allowed to do. 4 year olds will drive all the neighbors crazy if you let them -that is exactly the way my son was at 4! They forget the rules too so you have to keep reminding them. No going inside houses. No going in backyards. No talking to strangers.

I feel bad for the boy (older boy, not your son), growing up with a parent that assumes you can do no wrong and who is picking fights on your behalf is not the way to become a well adjusted adult.

Wow, I wouldn't let my son play at that neighbors house again. From what you said, I don't thing you have much options anyway. You told the mother you didn't yell at her son, but she yelled at you. You apologized even though you didn't do anything wrong... so just don't let your son go down there and you don't have to experience this again. I would still let your son say "hi" to the neighbors, and I probably would too, she's the one bent out of shape...

My daughter is that same way. She is five years old... they are still young and do not know how to handle all situations. At that age they do not always remember what you told them. To be honest if you have to go inside have your son come home first so this does not happen again.

This older boy may have really thought you were yelling at him, hence why he brought it up to his mom. I would have also addressed the situation if I thought someone was yelling at my kid when they did not do anything wrong. I understand that you were upset at your son BUT he is only 4 and still learning what he should do, next time tell him time to come home and talk sternly on the way home what he should have done that way no one else will think you are yelling at them.