Hello Maghan
I am very sorry to hear that your separation is getting difficult and I hear that you want to make sure your daughters are taken care of.
Firt, I just want to let you know that people grieve the lost of a dream/relationship in different ways. Some do it by being very angry, resentful others do it by being reclusif. I am not supporting or defending anyone as I don't know your whole story, but seeing it through another's eyes can help to try to make changes that will be helpful to everyone.
I suspect that your husband is really upset and not willing to deal with the lost. What is really important for both of you to remember is that your daughters did not ask for this divorce and should not have to pay the price. It is also very important to let your daughters know that the divorce has nothing to do with them and that BOTH parents still love them.
Whenever you do talk with your ex-spouse, try to focus on what would be in the best interest of the girls and not on what either one of you could have done diffirently or whose fault it is that you are not together.
There are many books and websites available on how to deal with divorce and the impact it has on the entire family. If you would like some suggestions, just let me know. Remember, you may not be husband and wife but you will forever be parents of these two girls. You will need to stay in contact for the rest of your lives.
I have a grown son and two grown step-daughters. We have had to deal with ex-spouses for school, doctor's visits, graduation, births of grandchild and soon marriages. The importance of keeping and open communication has made a world of difference to our kids and I think they are very grateful for it. They don't feel as if they need to choose between parents as they never should have to.
M., I know this is a difficult time for you, so if you would like to talk some more, you can email me. Best of luck to you and your daughters.
C. C.
Stepfamily Life Coach
www.coachingsteps.com