Toddler Pacifier - When to Pull the Plug?

Hi M.,

I agree do one thing at a time. My son had his pacifier until he was past three. I potty trained him first and then took the paci away. When you take it away he will have withdrawl affects, like whining and crying a little especially at bedtime, however it will pass in a few day.

All the best to you.

I went through this in the past 8 months with my now 2 1/2 year old. Do the pacifier first, then wait about two months till it is totally out of her system and then introduce potty training. What worked for me is 1) restrict to just her bed time (which you have done) and then 2) push her through her day for two to three days with NO nap...........lots of activity so she is so tired at night that she just wants to fall asleep.
Worked for me like a dream. And when she asked about her binky - I just ingnored and distracted the conversation to something else, or would just simply say it is broken or all gone.
Good luck!

My son was a big time binky baby. From 3 mos on it was always in his mouth. When he got closer to 3 we stopped offering it as much. We use to leave it in his room, within his reach. He would ask for it and we'd tell him where it was and if he wanted he could go get it. He never did, and by the time he turned 3 he gave it up on his own. We had tried to take it away once, it was the hardest 3 days and I didn't sleep, neither did he. But at 3 he gave it up on his own. No kicking, no screaming, just stopped. Dentists are saying now that the binky has no affect on the teeth, because their just baby teeth and fall out anyway. And the location of your baby teeth really has no effect on your adult teeth so, let her outgrow it on her own. Stop offering it, let her get it if she wants, but it will come to the point to where she'd rather be playing then stopping to get it.

I am a mom of 4 now and I realized, that it doesn't matter when you pull the plug. Let them enjoy it, don't sweat the small stuff. What you can set in boundaries, though. No talking with the pacifier in your mouth. No pacifier, pinky, outside of our house. There is only one reason, I would take it away. If his bite changes. Can he still close his front teeth?

My son gave his to the fairies at age 4. I had sparklers tied to a tree and when we looked out the window the sparklers were burning and he thought it was the fairies. And he got a knight dress up kit.

D.

now is a decent time to try a trial phase of either toilet training, or getting rid of the pacifier. don't do both at once. there is no reason to overwhelm yourself or your daughter. think of it this way: either of these events is a developmental event, so your daughter will rightly regress a bit in other areas. so ideally, if you try the toilet training, she may cling to her pacifier a bit while she is settling into going on the potty. don't demand that she achieves two major milestones at once. it is too much. good luck!

Hi M.,
If you're deciding between binky and diapers, I would ditch the binky first, because once it's gone, it's over and you never know how long the toilet teaching is going to take.
My son had the pacifier at night til around 21 months. When I decided it was time for it to be gone, I just threw them out, no warning. Your daughter is almost a year older so you might tell her, but I would not negotiate or let her know far in advance, I would tell her that day. My son didn't have great verbal skills at that time, but the first couple of nights, he did ask for it and I just ignored the question and he didn't cry. The 3rd night, he asked again and I finally said "You're a big boy now and big boys don't use a pacifier anymore." He gave me a look and I thought he was going to cry! But he just said "Oh," and laid down and I never heard about it again.
Don't stress too much over the toileting. Despite one poster's opinion that the longer you wait, the harder it is, I found that the longer you wait, the shorter time it takes. I had no patience for accidents and being kinda sorta trained so I waited til 3 with my daughter and almost 3 with my son and the process was relatively quick
Good luck!

We also got him down to only using his pacifier to sleep we finally go rid of it right after his 1st dentist appointment - told him it would hurt his teeth and the dentist wouldn't like it - it worked - I had a friend who took their daughter to build a bear and they put it inside for safe keeping – another one attached it to a balloon so it would go to another child wh needed it and they made a little ceremony out of it -
As far as adopting we used a wonderful NJ agency and an attorney that had our profile sent throughout the US (if you want the info let me know) - if you are looking for a toddler or older there are a number of children in the foster system and the cost is minimum – Good Luck

I think it's OK to use the pacifier to sleep for as long as your daughter needs it. I used to work for a pediatric dentist and he said that using a pacifier won't ruin your daughter's teeth. Your daughter will stop using it eventually and if you're stressed about forcing the issue than just let her keep using it. I mean how many kids do you know in college who still need a pacifier to sleep? :) Good luck!

as for pulling the plug...it'll be more stressful on you than on your child...you'll feel guilty for taking the comfort thing away and your child will adapt and have very little if any reaction to it...since you moved it to bedtime only(good move) keep your eye on it and she will probably give it up with in a month...if not...go ahead and give it to the "binki fairy"...or mail it off to "babies who need one". or hey just have her throw them out(that's what I did), she'll be fine....in a week she won't even remember she needed it. Good luck!

Hi M.,
My oldest 2 sons both had pacifiers and I "pulled the plug" for both of them at age 2. My oldest son Salvatore's went on "vacation" because it worked so hard for two whole years. He only asked for it for about a week and we kept with the whole vacation thing and then we went to Disney World for vacation and he wanted to look for it so we did but couldn't find it in that big, big place. And he never asked for it since. My middle son David as he got older he started to chew on it then hated it when it got a hole and would cry for a new/different one. So when he turned 2 I told him I wasn't buying anymore so if he wanted it he had to stop biting holes in them. Well he didn't and once I through the last one out "because of the whole" he never asked for it. (of course that doesn't happen all the time I think he was just ready to be a big guy like his brother). Go with what you feel will work best for your daughter. You don't want it to be scary but reinforce that she's becoming a BIG girl and start pointing out other bigger girls with no pacifiers. Hope this helps.

Both my boys were 2 yrs when we pulled it. We Weaned them down to one then after a little bit just pulled it cold turkey. Replacing it of course with another form of comfort but neither one opted for that. It was actually painless. They asked for it for the fiest day and then that was it! Best of luck.

Why haven't you started potty training yet? The longer you wait the harder it will be. She must be aware of her toilet urges by now and that is the best time to start. When she hide to have a movement etc.
As far as adoption, I adopted 4 brothers years ago that I had as a foster mother. I know there are a lot of children in need of good homes and you can search the internet for agencies. Google adoption in your state. Dave Thomas has a web site also. http://www.davethomasfoundation.org/ I think its wonderful that you want an older toddler and not an infant. There are so many kids in need in this country and most folks want an infant, so look to foreign sources.
Good luck

M.,
When the time is right you will know. I know that sounds so cliche but it's true. Do not seriously do not give into pressure from other's. My daughter is 25mths and she recently this month started sleeping with out her bo-bo (pacifer). I didn't force the issue at all, she only used it to sleep and it helped her sleep better. I would be concerned if she needed it all day and all night but only at night she will eventually give it up and if not you can help her along by letting her fall asleep without it. Don't give it to her let her fall asleep on her own with out and continue that trend until she falls asleep every night without it. Potty-training is also something that they have to let you know when their ready. The day before my daughter's 2nd birthday she went in the potty. I haved tried since that day three months ago and she has not gone. She doesn't tell me when her pamper is wet or when she pooped which is a sign that she is ready. She doesn't even like to wear the training pants so I will wait until she cues me in however I will jump start it if I feel that she is being too lax about the whole thing. You will hear advice that will tell you she is ready you need to do it now but read Piaget he will confirm what I am telling you. Good luck.

Hi M.
I was a teacher of 3year olds. It was a great job. In the many years I taught I only had one 3 year old come to school with a pacifier. It's time. Now how? It is reasonable to say it is for little kids, and in order to go to_________ or when you turn 3 you have to throw that pacifier away. I used 2 with mine but obviously you can not do that. She just throw it away on her birthday. It was not an issue. I told her when and what to do. She did it. I have told that to hundreds of mom and most say I well it works. Maybe you'll try it and it will work for you too.
God bless you
Don't forget to talk to mom
K. SAHM married 38 years with 4 adult children 37, 32, and the twins are 18 and went to college this fall.

Start the potting training. As your child becomes more independant she will need the pacifier less and less.

Hi. I think you should do one thing. We also have a 2 1/2 year old and are working on potty training. She does not appear to be ready since she will pee but not poop in the potty. So I would say at least for us giving up pacifier was easier. Maybe one bad week. I would just go cold turkey on the pacifier. We had a neighbor with a newborn and I told my daughter we were giving her the pacifiers. We knocked and they were not home so we left them in a bag on the door. (they had already moved out and I knew that but my daughter did not- she still talks about giving her pacifiers to baby sofia).

also as far as adoption. I do not know if you are looking at international or domestic however there is a wonderful conference coming up on Nov 23 at Weill cornell medical college sponsered by The adoptive parent committee. They also have monthly meetings in NYC and a great place for information. Our daughter is adopted (international so I know more about that but have friends who did domestic so happy to answer any questions)

http://www.adoptiveparents.org/

weblink for the organization and so helpful and knowledgable. worth checking it out.

Dear M.,
Try the pacifier fairy. Have you and your daughter wrap it up in a pretty package and send it to the pacifier fairy for the babies who need it. The pacifier fairy will have to leave her a present something small as a reward for her brave act. I heard this works. My daughter was the same age and we just used school as an excuse. She wanted so badly to go the preschool so I told her she had to throw it out. She did and that night she did look for it and we just explained that she was a big girl. Believe me you are more attached to it than she is. You may have one bad night but stay strong and it will be over. As far as potty training is she waking with a dry diaper? That was a tell tailed sign for me. If she is waking dry that means physically her body is ready as well as emotionally. One tip, I own a preschool and we do not use pull-ups. Once parents have begun at home an the children have the concept we go to regular cloth training pants. It is much more effective (a little messy) but I think pull-ups feel like a diaper and it only makes the process more difficult and confusing. Training pants can be purchased at Target or online. They are cloth, however in the center they are very thick therefore if there is an accident it is not quite as messy. Just take her to the potty frequently and remind her that shes a big girl with underwear on and it shouldn't be that bad. Good luck!!

Our older son was almost 4 when we got him to give up the pacifier. He, too, was only using it at night to fall asleep, and the "binky fairy" came and traded his pacifiers for a watch (it was what he had been asking for). Worked like a charm.

For our second son (he was 3 in April) - we just moved him to the toddler bed from a crib this weekend. And the pacifier didn't move. (Of course, the toddler bed is set up in a different room, with his older brother...) So far, so good!

My kids (a single daughter and twin boys) all used pacifiers at night. They weren't the kind to walk around all day with them, but just used them at night or if they were really upset (got injured or something like that). With my daughter, it didn't bother me that she used it at night and she did so until she was 3 1/2. It didn't dawn on me to even take it away. At a parent teacher conference, the head of the preschool told me that my daughter would NEVER give it up now b/c she was basically addicted. That night, I put my daughter to sleep and said "OK.. .no more pacie. You're a big girl now." She said "ok" and rolled over and went to sleep. I couldn't believe it! The next day she said "I used to be a baby and now I'm a big girl."

With the twins, just around their third birthday, I told them one day "no more pacies tonight." And I put them to bed and they aksed for them and I just said "no more pacies." And that was it. No fussing, no crying.

So... hopefully it will go that smoothly for you. I was shocked!!!

I wouldn't sweat it too much. I just learned last night how strong and resilient kids are. My daughter was 3 in June. She still had a binkie up until last night. She LOVED that binky. I mean, she truley loved it. I had slowly "lost" a binky ever few weeks back when she was almost 3 figuring that once we were down to just one it would be easier. She used to sleep with one in her mouth and one in each had so this was a big step. Then, when she only had the one binky it was her most prized possession. It was also a great resource for bribes! Anyway, the one binky started to have a tiny hole at the base. I told her to be very careful not to let it get bigger because then it would be to dangerous to have because she could choke. She did her best but of course, the hole got bigger and bigger. I was so scared that she wouldn't be able to handle it (and I wasn't ready either!). So I bought a replacement. But I didn't have to ever tell her about it. Last night,when she wasn't looking, I ripped off the nipple to her binkie. Then, when she went to her bed to get it to wash it when she brushed her teeth, she saw it was broken. She didn't cry! She looked at both pieces and tried to see if either one would work without the other. I had to be careful she didn't choke on the nipple part and I told her that that part was dangerous and she needed to flush it down the toilet. And she did it!!! Just like that! And then she tried sucking on the base but that just wasn't the same. I let her keep it but she didn't want it. She didn't cry but she kept calling it as if her best friend had just died and she was trying to will it back to life. It was pretty sad and I wanted to just give her the one I had bought to replace it but I didn't. And she slept through the night no problem. I'm very proud of both of us.
So, my advice is, if you are ready to give it up, do it. It might be hard at first but it's only going to get harder. Unless you are willing to wait until she gives it up on her own which could be another 2 1/2 years.
Either way, I don't think it really matters in the long run.
And I agree with you about the diapers thing. One thing at a time.
Good luck!

Hi M.,
Well as far as the binky goes, I had trouble with that too. its time to give the binky's to the baby. does she have a baby doll that has a binky? be prepared for a nite of no sleep because she will want it, dont give in!!!
potty training really isnt that hard.once you do that "shes a big girl" thing about that binky,she'll go right to wanting her big girl potty chair w/ pull up diapers.......
give her alot of praise,she'll be fine!

Hi there. I had the same issue with my son with the pacifier at that age. First I just limited it to bed and nap time..then he still wanted it, so I just made them all"disappear"one day. I told him "the paci fairy"took them away to give them to other little boys and girls that don't have one"...He was a little cranky from "withdrawal"for a couple days..lol, but then he wa fine. The potty training thing...I honestly believe every child has to go at their own pace..He had little accidents here and there, but I didn't have him totally trained till 31/2...boys are a little slower..and again..every kid goes at their own pace....Good luck with it all...
M. K

I adopted through Holt Internation ... they are excellent. Good luck.. I have 2 wonderful... healthy children from Holt.. and they are truely one of the best and oldest adoption agencies around..