How Did You Get Rid of the Pacifier?

I waited till my daughter was 3, no teeth problems at all! I waited until we could have a real conversation about it and it was an easy transition.

If she is only using it at naptime and bedtime I wouldn't stress out about it. I also wouldn't rush to take it away before she is ready to give it up. We took my daughter's away at a little over 2 and she completely stopped napping on us. It wasn't like she needed less sleep, she was miserable because she wasn't sleeping enough, but refused to nap without it. She is now 3.5 and still not napping. I wish I hadn't taken it away from her and just let her make the decision.

My daughter is 2 and 5 months and I still let her use a pacifier for just sleeping. She only gets it for nap and bedtime. I keep telling her and she needs to give them up so the pacifier fairy can bring her a big present. She tells me "I still like them now". So if it a comfort to them then I would say dont worry about it now.

Let me tell you what we did. First, this is absolutely NOT an insult but I wanted to say that I totally understand how you feel, but you are getting all worked up over nothing. My daughter had her pacifier until she was three, and her teeth are perfectly straight. My mother-in-law brags that her oldest son slept with his pacifier until he was five and has never needed braces. If the pacifier helps calm your daughter, so be it. It's not the end of the world. My son uses my hair as his security blanket. Whenever he needs to relax, he comes and plays with my hair. Since it's nothing harmful, I personally don't see anything wrong with her having one.

That said, when my daughter turned three I felt it was time to take the pacifier away. By then she was only using them in bed. It just so happened the our neighbor had a baby, so I told her that we gave all per pacifiers to the new baby because she really needed them and my daughter was a big girl now. That seemed to calm her. My mother-in-law was so upset with me, saying that I would regret it and my daughter would not be able to sleep. Well, we had a really rough first night, she cried 1/2 hour the second night, and was totally fine by the third. We haven't had a pacifier issue since.

I have also heard people say the pacifier fairy came and took them or comments to that effect.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure your daughter will be just fine!!

Greetings M.: Good for you, to set your boundries and warn in advance what you don't need. That said--
I am the mother of 5, have been a foster parent with all ages, and now a grandmother of the greatest cuties ever.
I have discovered through experiance that if you are going to battle over the pacifier( we call it the plug), then your child is to young and not ready to let it go. Now if the baby was 2, you would get greater support from your child.
We did a couple of things to loose it after 19 months. I would let the child have it at bed times, when ill, as an emergancy. I would keep one in my purse and not let them know just in case( I am not a hero) it would be needed.
From the time that the little ones come here at age 19 months I have them give it to me and I will hold it for them as long as they can hold out.
I made sure that they knew that if it was cut from their teeth, it would have to be tossed out. Then I would make a cut in it when they didn't expect a few days later-- having reminded them several times of the new deal.. and let them
say good bye to it and then we did it until they are all gone. Generally I would get a new stuffed animal for them to hug and replace it with.
I just want to also say that I am glad that you are past the other marriaage. For many that is not well done for a long time. I hope that you are able to savor the happy moments, enjoy the thrill of parenthood. It will be an adventure ride with more twists and turns thanany theme park will ever offer. But, I promise you- it will all be worth it. I feel that my children are my greatest accomplishment in life. NanaG

Hi M.-
My sister is weening her son from the pacifier right now, and he is 12.5 months old. I asked her the other day how she was doing it, and basically, when the baby is happy, the pacifier goes out of sight and out of mind. If, between you and the child, the little one can be soothed without it, you are making progress. There are moments when he still needs it, but if he is in good spirits, then no pacifier is to be found, and he just goes along with it. He still uses it at night for sleeping, but eventually, he will wake up and not search for it.
I think as long as you start removing it during the day during happy time and don't present it right away during unhappy times, they will slowly not reach for it anymore.
I hope this helps- and please don't beat yourself up over this- my little sister had a string of pacifiers until she was going into Kindergarten and my mum realized it was time to remove them. She had to physically hide them from her until she stopped crying for them. You will make it! I promise!
Good luck!
-E. M

Good morning!
I to was worried about the pacifer issue with my son. I never wanted to use one due to becoming dependant upon something, more importantly of how it affected his teeth. But it became evident that my son needed something for soothing and he used his from the time he was a week old until he was almost three. I always feared that taking the "kuk" (that is what he called it) away from him would be my biggest obsticle. By my surprise it was not that hard at all! I admit that there were times that he would not "need" the pacifer but would just be running around with it in his mouth. So, I started by taking it away when it was apparent he didn't "need" it, I would only give it to him if he was very upset and I couldn't calm him down, or when he went down for naps and bed. Then after a couple weeks I wouldn't give it to him when he was upset we would work through it together, then slowly over time I would take it out the instant he fell asleep a little more time went by and he didn't need it all. This whole process took a little over a month and a half but it worked and it was PAINLESS! which is great! I hope some of this may help you, best of luck
N. C.

I have heard of people cutting or puncturing it so it colapses and doesn't allow for that sucking motion, the kids don't get the same feeling and don't want it!?
The fact that you were that upset when she cried...you can't be that hard on yoirself. She will cry and get upset, but you need to know she will be fine!
My girlfriend got rid of all the binky's, as she called them one night and just told the kids the fairy came and got them, but left a present!
The kids, this worked on 3 ofher kids, loved getting a big kid gift, and while they wanted it, she just stood her ground
and acted as if it was "normal" for their age for the fairy to come get it, and went about her day
As if nothing had happened. Bottom line, you need to stick with it no matter how she reacts! You are the Mommy and if she learns that of she cries, she will get her way,
That will not be a good road to go down!

I think you shouldn't worry about taking it away too soon. I let both my boys have thiers until they were about 2 and each time I thought it was goign to be a nightmare to take it away, but each time I was pleasantly surprised. I picked a time when nothing else was going on (not sick, no vacations planned) just our normal routine. Once I decided to take it away, that was it. NO going back or else you will have a much harder time when you try again. Let her have it until she's 2 or 3 and don't listen to your mom.

hi M.! don't fret: you're doing great and the pacifier is a life-saver for us moms, it really does what it's name says, right? :)
here is how we got our daughter to give it up: a few
months before her second birthday we told her that pacifiers are for little babies and that when she turned two, the binky fairy would come in the night and collect all her binkies for the little babies who needed them, and would leave her a "big girl gift" for her second birthday! we asked her to make a wish about what the binky fairy would leave and we got it for her... on the night before her birthday, while she was sleeping, we took all her binkies (even the one in her mouth!) and threw them away (wrapped in a bag so she wouldn't see them in the trash!), and set out her new big girl gift (it was a big jumpy horse!!!) and when she woke up she was thrilled!!!!! never had a moment of trouble about the binkies, and she still to this day (at 3 1/2) talks about the binky fairy who took her binkies for the little babies and left her such a cool gift :)
hope this helps!
XXXOOO
S.

We put the pacifiers into an envelope and sealed it. Then wrote on the outside, "To the Babies." When my girls would ask for their binky, I would say we sent them to the babies because you're big now. Then they knew they could cry about it cause they were gone.

First thing is not to not worry too much over it..relax. Any transition is going to be hard for both of you. With my first I had a hard time weaning at 1 from the breast at night and i took the advice from my sister-n-law to leave a bottle in the crib for her. It took till after she was 2 to get rid of that thing and unitl 5 to get rid of the thumb.
My second and third I used a pacifier until they were 18 months old..I waited until they forgot about it one nap time, and they all disappeared. We looked for them but couldn't find them..:) If you take it away from them like a punishment then they will have a harder time accepting it. But if it is lost, then what are you going to do. Except avoid the isle at the store that carries pacifiers for awhile..:) Your little girl will be fine, but have it go away accidentally or not make her make the choice cause they don't have the conception of it being not good for them. It's a security thing. Distract with her with a new favorite stuffed animal or a cool new blanket. Right around this time I had my kids in a "big bed" which they were excited about it too. But remember, once the pacifier is "missing"...don't let them be found. I, for my own mind sake, put them in a bag and put in in the highest cupboard just so that well worse case scenario I could get to one, but I didn't do it. Don't stress..even if it lasts a couple more months it won't be detrimental to your little girl or her teeth. I wouldn't go past 2 cause it just gets harder and harder...

Good luck!
J.

Hi M.,
Honestly, I see no reason to exit the pacifier! My boy sucked his thumb until he went to Kindergarten and was done within his first week -his own decision!
Your baby's pacifier has no negative effect on the teeth, only when the adult teeth come in would this be an issue. (in fact, my son is the only one who DOESN"T need braces!)Your baby will let you know when she's ready. Once bigger, you could find creative ways to introduce the subject, for instance: inventing the 'pacifairy', who trades pacifiers for prizes.
Good luck!

Cut a little bit off the tip of the pacifier. The suction won't work any more and she will lose interest. This worked like a charm at our house, and my two kids were total pacifier addicts. My son put it in his mouth, took it out with this puzzled look and declared it "broken". After a few days of trying again (just in case it had fixed itself?) he gave up with no crying or fussing. It felt like his own idea to him. (He was 18 months.)

My daughter was a little more resistant, but we just kept cutting a bit more off the rubber tip each day and it got shorter and shorter. Then she finally felt it wasn't worth it anymore and quit. (She was just over 2 years. We had let her keep it a bit longer--should have maybe done it earlier.)

Really, it was like magic...cut the tip.

whoa - forget your mom saying no. if you ask your pediatrician s/he will tell you they are RECCOMENDED now to prevent sids. i give you props mom, for letting your child use something that soothes and comforts her. later on in life, the little comforts like this will be rare. and, it is perfectly normal for her to be upset about all of a sudden not having her pacifier. my son used one and outgrew it by 13 months. my daughter is two and still sucks her thumb. i can't take it away, and if she needs braces later for her teeth, fine. shame on anybody who gives you a hard time! here are some things i did with my son that will hopefully help you. try to re-direct when she needs something to teeth on, away from the pacifier, and towards something healthy and yummy. also, out of sight....you know how it goes. after a while you can limit use to naps and bed-time. last thought - don't worry too much. when i was stressing on the subject my midwife told me to "Take a deep breath. He's healthy and you never see a man walk down the aisle sucking their thumb." same goes for the girls. good luck!

My youngest son LOVED, LOVED, LOVED his pacifier!!!! He definitely needed the "sucking" as a way to soothe himself, like most babies do. When he was about 2, I had the pacifer stay in his room. I always allowed him to have it, BUT only laying on his bed in his room....obviously, it meant he was tired. After about 6 months and approaching 3 yrs old, he began to fall asleep without it at night. I had a "sneaky process", though, in order to do this:

When I noticed that he wasn't "going for it" during the DAY anymore, I waited about 2 weeks, then took his box of pacifiers and put them up in the cupboard witout telling him. The first night he asked me for one, and I told him that "I forgot that I cleaned them today, let me go get one for you". A few nights after that he didn't ask for one and fell asleep on his own! About 1 week later, I did the "Binky Fairy"....he decorated his pacifier box for the Fairy to come get during the night, and the next morning all Pacifiers were gone and there was a small present.

M., I went with "my heart" on this one, and not what the Dr's and Books say :O) I decided that I wasn't going to put him through a bunch of tears, so YES he had his pacifier longer than most, but we never had tears, and I was never the "bad guy", he doesn't even remember his pacifers. And, HIS TEETH ARE FINE!

~N.

My first piece of advice is don't let what your mother said about not giving her a pacifier get to you. To use a pacifier or not to use a pacifier is a personal decision. I felt that using a pacifier was a good thing, because little ones like to (and often need to) suck on something longer than they need to nurse or take a bottle. If not a pacifier... what? The thumb or some fingers, and how would you get rid of those? Well, my two boys took the pacifier fine, and at about a year of age it simply disappeared one day. I actually threw the pacifier out and each boy did have a day or two of missing it. The key is to substitute activities that are interesting enough to help them forget.
When it came to my daughter, she wasn't having that pacifier and did start sucking the thumb. As I said before, how do you get rid of that? We ended up having to put her in a speech therapy class because she had pulled on her upper front teeth just enough to cause some problems.

I think your difficulty in getting through this stage may be more intense because of your daughter being older, but my suggestion is that you just throw the pacifier out, and get some very interesting activities going with her... perhaps put off some of your tasks around the house for a few days in order to just spend quality time together... and work through it.

Hello M.- Try not to be so hard on yourself. I'm sure someone out there will tell me I am wrong but I would say let her keep it. Poor little thing is still young and doesn't have quite the coping skills yet. It's her reassurance and for now I say let her have it. Be glad it's not her thumb as this will be easier to break. Plus you don't want her to turn from her pacifier to her thumb. Good luck!

M., don't worry so much about this that it makes you sick. My daughter had a paci until she was 2 years and 1 month old. It was like she was addicted to them and I was her dealer. We had them everywhere: fridge, the car, the van, my purse, diaper bag, etc. I had several conversations with her doctor who told me that toddlers use several methods to sooth themselves and if the paci does it for her then let her have it. However, she recommended that it didn't carry on past her 2nd birthday. Our children's dentist told me the same thing.

What I did to prepare her was to start telling her that big girls didn't use the paci and that if she wanted to be a big girl(and she did) she would have to stop using it. We had even cut it down to almost nothing, but that didn't stop her. She threw one away on her own, but not all of them. Then we stopped letting her have it all day, but only at nap time and bed time. Then one month after she turned 2 we took it completely away. She struggled for maybe 2 days(she even told me to look in my purse for one). After that she never asked for it.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. Everyone has their opinions, but she is YOUR child, and you have your own dynamics to work with. Don't let the opinion of others guilt you to the point of making you sick. That harms you and you family.

Take care and God bless.

Hang in there! As other posters have said, we did the "binky" fairy - collected them into a box, sealed it, wrote "For New Babies" and set it on the porch for the fairy to get. When we next checked, the fairy had left a little gift and "Thank You" note. We unfortunately waited until a little older than 2 and it was SO hard for my daughter - screams, crying, and even throwing up from so many tears. We talked about how sad she was and after a few days it got better and then she didn't even ask about it anymore. Take care and hang in there - it is hard to see them so upset but try to stay calm and loving with her. You'll get through it!

Hi!
I totally understand, both my kids had a binky. I kinda wanted that over a thumb... and I got lucky, both liked binkies. :) Anyways, at their 2yr old checkup, their pedi gently told them it was time for binky to go away, that other little babies were being born and they needed to be recycled. It worked great with my first, a girl, who, to this day, is a "little mommy". She collected them all and we put them in a bag and gave them to the binky fairy that night. She cried for a little, but she understood why, it was just a few sniffles because she missed it, but then she fell asleep and that was the end of it. My son, on the other hand, didn't fall for that. We (at our pedi's suggestion) gave it a week and tapered it off (got rid of it at naptime) so he only used it at bedtime... and then... all of a sudden (to him, atleast!!!) we *oh!* LOST the last one!... and we called the store... and they were all out... and so he tearfully went to sleep without it... ;) there were tears for a few days, but it wasn't bad. I would wait until there are no major changes in her life... our pedi said as long as it's gone within a few months of them turning two, it won't affect their teeth, so we just did it gradually. It also helps if they have another lovie or blankie as well. Good luck and be patient. Unless your dentist or pedi force it, I wouldn't rush it until they turn 2. :)

I have 3 kids, one didn't like the binky, one loved it and one got too busy for it by the time she was 2 years old. The one who needed it and got to three years old had use limited for sleep only that last year... She got a rash around her mouth and that finially but an end to it. We cut them off without her watching , then she held them/ threw these useless things away..
My binky kids just grew out of that need that yours cried from.
My advice is limit use (hide them/ you just can't find it... help me look.. oh look your baby doll-did you want to play...)

Don't be so hard on yourself!!! My daughter is older then yours and still uses a pacifier for sleep (and every once in a while I find her sneaking it during the day). I also am not up to listening to the crying..although we are getting to a point where we must do it. I'm trying to get through a couple of other milestones first and then deal with it. Sleep has been a long road with her and she now sleeps through the night and I am really afraid if I take it away we will lose that.

Neither of my other two kids used a paci, so this was all new to me. I thought that at 1 year it would be easy enough to get rid of. It wasn't. It gives her security and comfort, so as a parent it is really hard to take away.

I did talk with my dentist about it and he wasn't overly worried about it. I have had other mom's whose kids used a paci passed 2 that once they stopped using the paci the teeth moved back into place. Kids teeth move a lot regardless...so yes, it isn't great for the teeth, but it isn't the end of the world.

So figure out a plan/time frame that will work best for you and your family. If it isn't for a few more months...I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm still trying to figure out my plan :)). Good luck and don't feel like it is your fault.

M.-

You've gotten some decent advice here. I just want to encourage you to not get so worked up and worried about what 'could' happen etc. I was sure my one daughter would give it up when she was ready. Lots of 'experts' said so. Well at 3-1/2 with a 2 year old sister and twins on the way, neither of them were in any rush. I had to just tell them they were too big and deal with the crying. But they were 2 & 3, not 17 months. When the twins were born the 2 year old stole all their binkies (she had been off them for over 3 months, I told her she was a big girl and the babies needed them), so I had to scrap it and not give the babies any, but they suck their thumbs so now I have that to deal with!!!

So don't be so hard on yourself. You will figure it out, yes it is easier when they are younger, however, I don't personally feel she is too old. Take your time, and when you decide, be firm and consistent. It isn't easy, but you can do it. You are a good mom! Even if she still has it in another year, you are still a good mom! Don't let it reflect on your parenting what other people prefer.

Take care,
D.

Hi M., my kids are grown now, however it was my son who was hooked on a pacifier. He was 2 maybe 21/2 when we took it away. It was tough for the first day or so. We took him to Great America. At the time they had the Ninja Turtles. We took it away from him and told him the Ninjas needed it for their baby turtles. Since they were his favorite, it seemed to work. We just reminded him he was doing a good thing by leaving it with them. Maybe you could do something similar. Maybe Chuckecheez, or even a park. I still think she is a little young to take it away, but when it is time I hope it will make things easier for you....good luck

We waited till about 17 months or so, because my daughter was addicted to the pacifier. At around 14 months we only let her use it for naps and bedtime. When we had finally had enough and knew we had to get rid of it we had her put them all in a ziploc bag and throw them away in the trash. She said by to them and then I gave her a new big girl toy. It seemed really simple until bedtime when she cried her eyes out. I ended up rocking her and reminding her that they are all gone and after 3 horrible bedtimes she seemed to forget about it. You may want to see if your husband can put her to bed so you don't have to hear the crying. I think the crying is definitely harder on us moms than dads for some reason.

We waited until our daughter was a little older...I think maybe she was 2 (or maybe even 3) and told her that on her birthday the pacifier fairy would be coming to take her pacifiers and give them to babies who need them. We started telling her this a few months before her birthday, and really built it up - how the other babies were waiting for their pacifiers, and how the pacifier fairy would be bringing her a "big girl" present that she really wanted. Before she went to bed the night before her birthday, we made a big deal out of finding all the pacifiers and putting them in a box next to her bed. When she woke up, there was a new Barbie and she was thrilled. It took a couple of days getting used to being without it, but she was fine - we just reinforced how lucky the babies who got her pacifiers were and what a big girl she is now. And her teeth are beautiful, by the way! Good luck!

Hey M.,

You are not "at fault" and the old beliefs that our moms have are old beliefs. This is your daughters one chewy comfort away from your arms. Mine were still nursing at 17 mos.! Then they just weaned themselves naturally. Your little angel will too. One of these days she will forget it and not even notice or she'll cme give it to you when you least expect it and say something like, "Mommy, I'm a big girl now." Are you ready for that? It's all good in good timing. If it becomes a struggle, she'll struggle with you. If you tell her to let you know when she is ready, she'll bond with you. Oh, and I played clarinet and saxophone and people said I'd get buck teeth. You should see my never-worn-braces smile! No soft chewy thing is going to mess up her teeth. It will make them stronger. Just love her and enjoy my girl friend and chuck all those old wives tales. There's no set rule from anywhere that says by this age or date she has to be done with it. Hopefully by the time she goes to prom, but if not, get one to match her gown! SMiles....

T.

When I brought my daughter to her first dentist's appointment shortly after her first birthday the dentist saw me take the binky from my daughter (partly because she didn't need it right then, partly because I was a little embarrassed to be at the dentist's office with it), I was told; "Oh,no, don't take her paci from her, we think it is perfectly normal for children to have a paci until they are four or five even. If you take it from them before they are ready they will just replace it with something else than may cause more damage, like their thumbs."

I don't love the idea of my daughter having a binky when she is 4 or 5, but I like the idea of her sucking her thumb in Kindergarten even less! So, at 22 months, my daughter ASKS for "binky, nigh, nigh" when she is tired and I oblige. The binky comes out shortly after she wakes and gets put away until it is time to sleep again or in the car (where she often falls asleep and she knows this).

If you REALLY feel like it's time to take away the binky, then by all means do it. But, if you are trying to push your daughter to give it up because of what your mom or someone else thinks. I think you should hit the "pause" button and let your daughter be for a while. Maybe cut down on binky time "out of sight out of mind". The most important thing is to do what feels RIGHT for you and your daughter.

Lots of great posts, but I have to agree...binkys are NOT that bad...better than thumbs by far. My mom trys to make me feel the same way about this situation and I just tell her that researchers find new things everyday Mom, and a lot of thought has been put into this for me, please respect my decisions as a mom.

I have heard of trying the binky fairy method...

Also cutting up the center of the binky so that it looses its appeal to them...

Also one of my friends' hubby "ate" the binkys...literaly put it in his mouth and pretend chommped it, and then it was gone.

Good luck, and DON"T stress over this, totally bigger fish out there to worry about, enjoy your baby : - ) ! Thats whats important!

I weaned my son at 17 months also. I thought it would be a lot harder than it actually was. I decorated an envelope with stickers and fairies to make it look special, and told my son that we needed to give his pacifiers to the pacifier fairy so she could take them to the babies that needed them. The key was to let him put all his pacifiers into the envelope himself and let him put the envelope into the mailbox himself. He put all his pacificers in except one....I had to encourage him to put the last one in with a "special suprise" (I ended up giving him a new toy). After he did it, he fussed a little going down for his first nap and bedtime that night....I kept reminding him that he was a big boy and he was helping the babies. The next morning, he woke up and he was so proud of himself for giving away his pacifiers. It was really cute. You daughter may put up a little more of a fight. But I think if you talk her through it, they can understand a lot at that age. Good luck! You'll be great!

As a first time mom of a 2 month old I don't really have any advice but just want to say hang in there and don't beat yourself up! I'm also pretty sure that I was allowed a "powie" (that's what I called my pacifier) for quite a while-- obviously long enough for me to be able to name it. My baby teeth were not too bad, and my adult teeth were of course not affected. Maybe try to limit the times she can use it to naps and bed? Maybe point out other "big kids" like her who don't use it and talk about it in terms of being something for babies (without it being about her being babyish of course!)? Maybe get a baby doll with a pacifier that she can play out being the mom with- so she can play being the adult without a binky while the baby has one? Like I said, I have no experience myself with this, but those are some ideas that popped into my head. But seriously, don't be too hard on yourself!

good luck!
Peggy

Dear M.,
Why would anyone insult you? Newest studies showed that giving a baby a pacifier reduces SIDS deaths, just something to tell your mom...
My kids got rid of the pacifier when they were about three years old and I don't think it has damaged their teeth... if they would be sucking their thumbs it would be even harder to break the habit. But at about your daughters age we started with the rule that the pacifier is only be used in the bed. For napping or at night. We told our kids that it needs a rest too. And that worked, but we were also quite strict about it.
Then when they were about three I stopped buying new ones and told them that the pacifier fairy would come and transform the pacifier into that very cool gift they were wishing for. The only thing they had to do was wrap the pacifier up and leave it in the garden. They did it when they were ready and they only asked once for the pacifier back (which was impossible, because it had been transformed...) They both have a quilt or pillow they like but that's much more discret. Good luck.

Hi M.,
your daughter is not going to have any harmful side effects from a pacifier. my kids never liked the pacifier but I have friends who have and they've tried the "binky fairy". the binky fairy takes it to give it to a little baby who can use it. you can trade it for a new toy, also burying it with some flower seeds and telling her it's going to grow into a beautiful flower. or cut off the tip gradually until it is not appealing to her anymore.
she's only 17 months old she probably won't understand any of the reasoning now and I think she is still so young you don't really need to worry about it right now. if she has it at 3 that's a problem.
my youngest is 18 months and we are struggling with the bottle now, isn't it crazy how we agonize over these things with our kids.
good luck
S.

My son will be 3 next month, and we STILL haven't gotten rid of the "beebee." He's on his last one, and it stays in his bed, which means he only gets it at night for sleeping. He's just not ready to give it up yet, and as long as it stays in his bed, I'm ok with that. Better he find his pacifier in the middle of the night than come wake me up!! *grin*

Rest assured, his teeth are NOT crooked!! The bottle actually did that damage (that has since corrected itself). Babies/toddlers have this intense need to suck, some more than others, and like others have said, better the "beebee" than the thumb!!!!

The other reason I'm not gung-ho about taking it away is that I'm due to have our 2nd child Nov. 13, and that's a LOT of change without taking away something he's so connected to. Between developmental changes around the age of 3, including potty training, and having a new member of the family... *shrug* I'm more "worried" about how he's going to react to his new sister breastfeeding, since he's recently weaned.

I wouldn't worry overmuch about it :) After all, YOU'RE the parent, right?

I waited until the 2nd birthday. And every time we talked about the birthday, I talked about the binky at the same time with the same excitement.

"And on your birthday you're going to be two years old! And we'll have balloons! There will be a birthday cake! You'll be a big girl! You won't need your binky any more! Your friends will come over!"

Then, on that day, it was a non-issue. Part of the program and celebration. They went away while she was sleeping before she turned two. When she asked where they went, I said, "Today's your birthday! You're two! You don't need a binky any more!" She bought it.

Sometimes you have to consider your own sanity and motherly insticts in these situations. Her pacifier use may damage her bite, but it might not. Our pediatric dentist said if you get rid of it by age two, there should be no problem. As for your mom saying in effect "I told you so" just try to grin and ignore it. That's what mom's seem to do. I rarely get helpful advice or encouragement from mine, I've learned to put her opinion on the back burner so to speak.

I have had four pacifier users. One used it up to four years of age. Yes she did need braces for a year but due to a different inherented problem. To break the habit at a younger age I tried clipping the end of the pacifier. This makes it difficult to suck on but they can still carry it around. Some people clip off a little each week or so. With one kid I did that, with my other I just cut off the end (we used Mam's)and let her fall asleep with them in her hand. There was just enough that she could hold onto it with her lips but soon gave up, contenting herself with holding it. I clipped another daughter's pacifier and boy did she get mad! Even though she didn't see me do it, it frustrated her that they didn't work right. She eventually got over it, there were a lot of tears. But she was close to three years old so it was easier for her to understand.

My good friend had success limiting it to nap/bed time only. She slowly phased it out completely. Her son was about the same age. The pacifier had to stay home too, no taking out to the park or shopping. And she would take it out and put it up as soon as he was asleep, so he would wake without it (and their not constantly sucking on it affecting their bite). I had moderate success with this method too. It certainly limited the time they had it in their mouths.
Some parents have luck just telling the child she is a big girl and having her help throw them away. That didn't ever happen for me. Really do what you think is best. And remember, its easier to eventually get rid of the pacifier than have a finger/thumb sucker. That is a far worse habbit to conquer. Even my dentist said give back the pacifier if she starts sucking on her fingers. Best of luck, this is an emotional issue. And I certainly hope no one is critical of you. Every child is unique, thus every situation. Again, best of luck and God bless

One week. Give ANY change one week! This is true with pacifiers, weening off of diapers, learning chores, starting a workout program...all of it. None of us like change but given a week any of us can get adjusted.
Give your daughter a week and have patience. =)

Dear M.:

Not to panic or feel guilty!! I am sure that you decided on giving your baby a pacifier because when she was little she was able to comfort herself and calm herself and feel secure when you gave it to her. It probably made you feel good that you had this easy to control and to replenish object that would do the trick. Most people who choose to use a pacifier rather then let their babies suck their thumbs or fingers or lips or cheeks do so for these reasons.They think it will be easy to make the child stop by simply taking it away. It is never easy. Just as it is rarely easy to talk a child into stopping thumb sucking.

Take a deep breath and look at your little girl and ask yourself how is she feeling and what does she need at this point? If it were her thumb you wouldn't be able to take it away. So you should treat it the same way. The pacifier is something she still needs. At this point in time and for a long long time to come you can discuss the matter with her and make bargains about when where and why the pacifier is under her control. It really is good for a child to have control over how she comforts herself, so it is a myth that you can just take it away at will and the child will evolve into someone who automatically forgets the joy of her chosen comfort object. She will find others and you can help her find substitutes and evolve into ones that will be more acceptable to you and your lifestyle: stuffed toys, blankets, pieces of soft material to hold etc.

Unfortunately, things to suck on are harder to find good replacements for..you don't want to give her foods that are not good for her, you don't want her to continue to suck on a bottle to the point where her teeth are affected..I am sorry I do not have specific good substitutes to offer, but I am sure you can find something and maybe other people will come up with good suggestions, but I just want you to keep in mind that having taken over providing your baby with the comfort object, you do not want to hurt her by withdrawing it suddenly, but work out with her how to slowly have it available only at certain times (mutually agreed upon) and encourage her to comfort herself with things she is in control of at other times until this need is satisfied.

Blessings on you both and the rest of your family!! Make sure she knows you love her and want what is best for her as she defines what is best so she will grow up happy and secure N.

We weaned our little guy of his "binky" when he was 2, but you're wise to do it sooner. After 18 months it's really hard. But, I got a container and we went through the house and collected all the binky's. I told him that because he was a big boy now, the Binky fairy would be coming and taking the binky's to all the babies that needed them. I asked him what he wanted the binky fairy to leave in return and he said a chocolate ice cream cake, so we went to the store and voila...there was a chocolate ice cream cake in the freezer and an empty binky container. Every night he asked for it, but I explained that the binky fairy took them for the children and how nice it was of him to give his binky's to them. It took about a week and then he slowly didn't think about it anymore. There were definetly some tears and some moments of needing more hugs, but overall, it wasn't that bad! I wish you the best of luck!

Cheers,
J.
Mom to 3 boys 6 and under!

I wouldn't worry too much about it if she's that attached but you can start setting boundaries, like she can only have it in her bed. Our oldest was addicted and we did the bed thing and that worked for a while and then we made him in charge of it. Then one day he hid it and couldn't find it, so after 2 days of crying he was over it. He was a little over 2 at that point. You can try poking a hole in it too so it doesn't work the same.

We are taking it step by step. My daughter (now 26 months) used to use the paci religiously- there was a time where we were worried about reducing the use of it, but it turned out to just be a phase. She had a similar freak out if she lost it at night or during naptime. But when she got to be about 22 months we just stopped letting her take it out of her bedroom. It just became the routine - wake up, change diaper, take out paci. Now she is used to it. And often wakes up without it and goes right back to sleep. Soon we will take it away all together and though she will be sad and a bit confused, I trust that she will adjust soon enough. I don't think you should feel bad about letting her use it, and when you are really ready to be done, have confidence and show her that confidence - she will trust you!

M.....seems so long ago when I was in your dilemna....my pacifier son is now 5. I remember it just ate me up trying to take it away...doing things by the book. Bottom line is you will know when she is ready to give it up. What worked for us is little by little. at 1 yo it stayed in the bed only....bedtime only! jake knew that. i let go of the battle inside me....watched jake's teeth because that is the HUGE concern and just went for it. at 2.5 jake and i put all the binkies into a baggie for the other "babies" and that was that. HIS TEETH ARE FINE!!!!!! no stress nothing....jake knew that it was time. just go with your instinct....no book can tell you what to do. With my second one i am enjoying it a lot more....haven't picked up too many books this time and just going with my mommy instincts and also looking out for what EVERYONE else's concerns are. good luck....you are not alone!!!!!!

M.,

I have three kids, 6, 4 & 3. The two younger ones were on the binky together. I ended up cutting the tips off of all them. Everytime they went to put it in their mouth they'd put it back down because it did not feel right. Also, coincidentally, they were both beginning to bleed a the gum line because they would suck so hard that their teeth were being pulled away from the gums and in the morning there would be dried blood on their faces and on their pillow cases. It took us about three nights to get thru it and it was tough, but so worth it and hearing, "my binky broken?" YUP! Good luck, you can do it!