Weening from the Binky

Two things I have heard. Luckily, my daughter never took to a binky so I never had to worry about this. But a close friend of mine said she ended up cutting the tips off, so when her daughter sucked, she would suck in air. She would throw that one to the ground and find another one, and that was cut too. She cut them all. So, finally, after trying them all and HATING that she was sucking in air, she didn't want them anymore....so you don't have to "take them away" just make them undesirable! Another thing I've heard, is throwing them away and watching the trash man take it, and wave goodbye. Then, when they want it, say, remember, the garbage man took them!
Good luck,
B.

I can completely understand. My daughter was the same way, everywhere we went she had to have her binky, she would not sleep without her binky, everything was about where her binky was. For about one week I really watched her close to see what would happen if I did take it away. What I noticed was it was more of a comfort thing to know exactly where the binky was but not to neccessarily use it all the time. She would take it out to play, put ir down to take a drink and then not pick it back up right away. So I decided to cut the tip of the binky off one day (I had others so if she freaked out we could replace it) and when it was time for bed she came to get it. She pulled it off the counter and saw that it was "broken". She was upset but not to the point of tears, it was more like she could not beleive that it had happened. She went to be less than 20 minutes later and was sound asleep. we let her keep the "broken" binky for about 3 weeks and she would show people but she never asked for a new one. For us it was more of a comfort of having it than her having to have it and in the end it wasn't as tramatic as we thought it would be. So maybe just watch him and see how attached he is and if it like he could go without it you could try the same thing. Good luck!!

My son was in the same boat and at the same age, I was ringing my hands on how I was going to get him to give it up . We tried saying only at night and only in bed, or only in the car but not in public. He was ok on being limited and that was the first step. Then he started potty training and had it in his mouth while standing at the potty, and dropped it in. I said sorry that's it. Now he had 2 others at the time but he bit a hole in one. Then he dropped the last in the toilet again and then that was it. here's the shocking part we said "sorry that's it" and he was a little sad for 3 days but never once asked for it. I could tell especially at night he wanted it but he was really fine. So start talking about limited times and prep him that this will be the new rules and then slowly start phazing it out.
PS my son still drinks from a bottle at 3 yrs old and we are phazing out the morning and nap bottles moving to none next week. So I'm right there with you.

Hi R.
We went thru this w/our daughter. Believe me, it's probably one of the hardest things of being a parent. We too had a very "comfort" addicted kid. We tried twice to go cold turkey and have the binky fairy come. Both times we all ended up in tears (hers from fear, ours from frustration!). My DH and I always agreed that the doctor would have the last word so when I finally called her (my daugher was 3 at the time), she said crying every night for a week was NOTHING. If she truly wasn't ready for it emotionally, it could go on for months. She had a really good point...if her teeth were crooked naturally, we'd get braces right? So why worry so much about her teeth? Well, needless to say, we gave her back her binky and told her she could only have it in bed. NO WHERE ELSE. She was OK with that surprisingly so we dropped the subject for a while. Fast forward til age 5 (I know some of you are rolling your eyes...but keeping the peace sometimes comes at a price!). She got sick one week, couldn't breathe, and fell asleep without the binky. When she got up in the am we told her what she had done and...voila!...that was all she needed. She took her collection, put them in the trash, and of course the trash man took them to needy kids (don't they all?). The most amazing thing happened...this happened in April 2008 and her teeth are now straight! They were really bowed out in front before, and I swear to you, they moved back into the proper alignment! Her dentist was pretty amazed.

Anyway, unless the binky is interfering with speech or day to day activity, you might want to wait a little while. Work on phasing it out if he needs it outside the house. That was our biggest concern. We couldn't stand seeing "big kids" walking around the mall with a binky in their mouth and swore we wouldn't be "those parents". I know, people in glass houses right??

Good luck! Sorry this was so long.

hmm. i don't think he'll keep it when he sees other kids running around without one, he may feel like the odd one, and drop it then. my 2 1/2 year old uses it at night and nap, and i'm ok with that. i seriously doubt she'll want it at night when she has sleep overs. let nature do it's thing with a little encouragement. but in my opinion it's too traumatic to yank it away abruptly because of a date/deadline to 'lose it'.

My daughter was obsessed with her pacifier as well. That was the ONLY way she could fall asleep, from day one. What we did was attach her to something else that she could use to sooth herself at bedtime. So, I decided that the burp rags were the perfect thing since I had 8 gagillion of them. I just started giving her one every time she took her pacifier. At first she didn't care but now she needs her blankie every night and every nap. The other thing we did as well was limit the pacifier time. Like, only when you sleep. Don't bring them with you anymore. They MUST stay in the bed. When I was first trying to break my daughter, she would wake up in the morning with the pacifier in her mouth and want to get up and I would say to her, "if you want Mommy to get you out of bed you have to leave the pacifier, that is only for sleeping." So she would leave it. That is when you grab one of the blankies instead and bring that with you. This is what worked for us, I hope this helps.

We gathered up all the binkies, took them to Disneyland to give to the Binkey Fairy and bought him a nice toy (mack from cars) when he turned them into the guy at the counter. I wanted him to actually give them to a fairy, but that didn't happen so the guy at the toy store gladly took them :)
When he asked for the binky again, we told him how HE turned them in for a toy.

Good Luck, I know it's hard for parents too because your child no longer has their nap/nightime soother.

We had a friend of ours make a suggestion that we tried and it worked perfectly! Cut the tip off of the pacifiers. When they go to suck on them it's not the same satisfaction. Our kids would take it out and look at it and we'd say "uh oh, it's broken." We'd make all the appropriate "oh no" sad faces and expressions, and they'd try to suck on them a bit, but eventually would just set it aside and give up on it forever. We let the "broken" pacifiers hang around the house for a while until they were ready to toss them in the garbage. Wasn't as horrible as the disappearing pacifier act that we've tried in the past. :O) By the way, do this the earlier the better before they realize mommy and daddy can just buy another at the store! Good luck!

I was in your same situation. My daughter walked around with one in her mouth and one in each hand. I was so worried that she would never give them up. At around 2 1/2 yrs we began telling her the same thing. Everyday I would let her know that when she turned 3 the fairy was coming because big girls don't use suckies and little babies need them. The night of her third birthday after a day of fun and constant reminders of what a "big girl" she now was I had her place her suckies in a box and she helped me color it and we left it on her night stand for the fairy. I was shocked at how easy it was to have her part with them. I put a small toy under her pillow that night and she was so excited and proud that the fairy left it for her.

I think the constant remiders and slow build up is what worked for us. I was sure that this was going to be a battle that lasted forever. If your son can go without them during the day a little more often, that can help too. Slowly cut down usage to naps and bedtime as you work toward the big day! Good Luck...it may turn out easier than you think :)

I can't say that I really have any advice for you, but I was in your shoes just a few months ago so I thought I would share our story to at least give you some hope. My firstborn turned 3 in March of this year and he has been in love with his "plug" since he was about a week old. It really was his best friend. From the time he was about 6 months old, the plug always stayed in his bed, so at least we had that going for us, but we took him to the dentist several months ago and we got the bad news (which we suspected) that his badly mis-shapen bite was due to the plug. The dentist said his teeth would correct themselves rather quickly but we absolutely needed to get rid of the plug before he turned 4, and the sooner the better. I knew this day was coming from the first day I gave him the pacifier as a newborn, and I have dreaded it, putting it off because I was fearful of how he would react, and I also felt bad for him because this plug was his favorie thing in the whole world! I wished and hoped that he would just decide one day that he didn't care for it anymore, but it wasn't happening. We started to talk to him about it, that the plug was ruining his teeth and we needed to get rid of it. That he was a big boy and plugs were really for babies. He had no trouble with the conversations. He's a funny little guy with a great personality and he would talk with us as though he fully understood how important this was. Sometimes, he would bring it up and tell us "We're going to have to get rid of that plug soon."

I had heard of many different methods that people have used, from cutting off the tip, to taking a trip to the hospital and say you had to give the pacifier to the new babies, a friend of mine took her daughter to the pond and gave it to the baby ducks. I wasn't sure if cutting off the tip would work with my son because he still used the newborn size pacifier (we never got him a bigger size, partially in hopes that he would reject it on his own one day) he didn't always suck on it, he just liked having it in his mouth. I didn't really like the stories of giving the pacifier to another baby because it wasn't really true. Plus I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to "the mouth" and the idea was just gross to me that we were going to tell him that his plug was going to be given to a new baby for the baby to use. Give that baby a new plug! Anyway, so what is a nut like me to do? Opportunity presented itself...

At the end of July, my husband was taking our 3 year old with him on a trip back east for a family wedding. It was going to be a whirlwind trip, staying in a different place each night, including one night of camping. My husband and son would sleep together (we are not usually co-sleepers at home) so my husband and I decided to prepare him to be plug-free on the trip. He has his "snuggles," a pair of thermal swaddling blankets that he has always loved to cuddle with (while having the plug in his mouth), so we told him that he could take his snuggles on the plane, but he could not take his plug. He negotiated a little in his special way (he is a "take charge" kind of guy) but he wasn't really upset by it. So off they went, and he was fine without the plug all weekend, he did ask for it several times, but not as often as he asked for Mommy. It was a pretty crazy weekend and I imagine that the poor guy was often too sleep deprived to even care about the plug.

The night they came home, he fell asleep in the car on the way home from the airport. We carried him up to his bed, and he didn't fully wake up, and didn't reach for the plug (which was still in his bed) so I decided to take it out and see how things would go. I really wrestled over that decision because I never gave him any warning. We had told him he would not have it for the trip, but we didn't say that it was gone for good. We never talked about him having it again when he came back, we only talked about the trip, and I don't know what he was thinking, but since we never addressed that specifically, I felt very conflicted. I decided to just go with it, keep the plug out of his bed and see what happened. He woke up at about 3 am that morning and was fussing in his bed. I went to him and asked him what was wrong. He was searching his bed for his plug (poor guy!). I just cuddled him and told him I was sorry the plug was gone. He couldn't use the plug anymore because it was hurting his teeth and he was a big boy. I laid him back down and rubbed his back a little, telling him what a good boy he was and he went back to sleep.

That was the end of the plug and that was really the only sleep interruption related to it. He may have had troubled sleep a couple of other times (I'm having trouble remembering) but none where he needed me, he would just go right back to sleep on his own as usual. He asked for it at every naptime and bedtime for a week or two, at least. But it was always with a smile on his face and when I told him I was sorry he couldn't have it any more (same reasons as always), he would almost laugh and say, "Ooohh."

It's hard to believe it has only been two months since then, because it has been quite a while since the last time he asked for it. We saw a baby while we were out one day (shortly after his plug was gone) and the baby had the same kind of pacifier he always used. So we talked about it, that pacifiers are for babies, but he was a big boy and didn't need it any more, and talked about the reasons again. It was a very light-hearted conversation, and I think that might be the last time it came up.

I'm not suggesting anyone do it this way, I'm still not sure it was the best way to do it. But it worked for my boy and he didn't have much trouble with it at all. I'm sure there is a unique way that will work for your unique boy, you know him best! Not that I knew that this was right for mine, I was very doubtful going through it, but we made it and he doesn't seem to be permanently scarred!! If nothing else, I hope it at least encourages you to hear a "success" story. And his teeth already look perfectly normal. We could see a difference within the first few days (we watched them gradually straighten) and now they look perfect to us!

Good luck!

Hi R.:
Well, Sigh.....We have finally discovered who the head Honcho is of the (Binky Patrol)Your childs dentist!! lol. Who is he to say when your childs cut off point is? He said Nates teeth were fine. What your dentist didn't tell you is, Had your son sucked his thumb for three years,He'd have an over bite by now. You will no doubt hear the disgust of the use of binkys,from other mothers.You know, the ones whos kids could bite an apple through a picket fence. lol but If the only time Nate uses his binky is to soothe himself to sleep, and it gives you and the rest of the household (peace) I'd say let the kid keep it a little longer.If you want to speed the process, you could put a couple little holes in the binky,and he will begin to find it less satisfying. You can request opinions,but ultimately mom, its up to you.I wish you and your darlin Nate the best.

Sounds just like what we went through with our son. We had been preparing him to get rid of the binky at 3 but the dentist told me at his 2 1/2 yr old check-up I couldn't wait any longer due to it causing him to have a very open bite. He suggested getting rid of every binky but 1. Then begin snipping the end of the binky off, a little more each night until he didn't want it anymore. We didn't take this advice, but he told me it was very effective. Due to the fact we had already been talking about the binky fairy coming, I had the dentist tell him at the end of the appointment that he had seen the binky fairy flying over our house. I then asked him what he wanted the binky fairy to bring him to replace his binkies. He wanted a truck and dinosaur. I called my husband and he picked them up on his way home from work. That night was actually extremely easy. We packed up his binkies (2 in bed, 1 from the car) in a box and put them outside his bedroom door. The next morning he was very excited. That nap and for the next week was pretty difficult, lots of crying but we let him sleep with his dinosaur and kept reminding him the binky fairy took his binkies to binky heaven and these toys were a reminder of what a big boy he is. If you can make it through the first week, you should be golden. One thing is that our son only used his binkies in bed at nap and bedtime as well as in the car. We started this at about 1 1/2 to begin weaning him. Good luck!!!

P.S. His open bite at 3 yrs. is almost completely closed and should be by his 3 1/2yr appointment.

P.P.S. His younger brother now has a binky and he has never asked for his back :)

Whatever you do, once you take it away don't give in and give it back! When you do make sure you and your husband are absolutely in agreement on the fact that your son will not get it back. We're taking my son's away at 2 years old, the pacis will be there one day and gone the next (with explaining to him what's happening of course) Good luck, I know it's tough not to give them what they want.

It seems like you got plenty of tips, however, I thought I would respond because I used the same exact tactic (idea from the Supernanny). I prepped my son with the fairy. We cut off both boys at age three. I was terrified but it went so well. The first few days at their sleeptimes were the hardest, but I was absolutely amazed at how well they both did! As parents we build these things up in our head and most of the time are surprised at how resilent our kids can really be! In hindsight, I wish I hadn't fretted so much about it. My kids still ask if the binky can come back because they loved getting a present in return for their binkies. We had the boys go around the house collecting the binkies, we put them in the mailbox and when they woke up they received a present. I put a bunch of confetti and ribbon in the box to make it more magical. I even took pictures because their faces were so shocked and excited!

Hello! We are going through something similar! My daughter loves her binky as well. Now that she is back in school, it truly has made things easier .... she only gets to have her binky at night when she goes to sleep and on the weekends when she is napping. Also, she has chewed on it quite a bit, so I told her once she breaks it, there are no more.

One thing to start trying now is having him help you put it away when he gets out of bed .... that way he knows it is only for sleep, not for normal play time. My daughter liked being part of that and she knew exactly where to put it.

Some people have mentioned cutting the end of the binky and then a child won't like it as much ... hasn't worked for us except that once the tear is bad enough, we throw it away - when we ask her how it broke, she admits she bit it! We are officially down to 2 binkys left in the house - our child is a bit odd - she uses one and she twists the other in her hand when she is falling asleep.

Good luck!

My son, (now six)was addicted. By addicted, I mean ADDICTED to the binky. He would have one in his mouth and one in each hand at all times. When we were ready to break him of the habit, we used a "binky basket" which we kept by his bed. When he'd wake up, he'd have to put his binkies in the binky basket unti nap or bedtime. It worked like a charm. When our daughter was born (when he was 26 months) we told him that we needed the binkies for the baby, and he never used a binky again. Believe me, if he could be broken of the habit, anybody can. Good luck! :)

Hi, R.. My cousin's son LOVED his binkies. She had a field behind her house, so when he was around 3-4, she read him stories about baby animals, and then they took all his binkies out to the field and left them for the mommy animals to give her babies. :-) It made her son very proud to be a big boy and help the little animals and he didn't "need" them after that.
Good luck!

I agree, once you take it away, dont give it back! My son just turned 3 and that was our cut off! We started making him be responsible for his binkie, keeping track of it and finding it when it got lost. One morning we were leaving to take him to daycare and i asked him if he had everything. He had his blanket and his binkie was sitting on the chair, in clear view. He looked around and said "yes" so we left for day care. I told my babysitter that if she came across any binkies at her house to throw them away cause we are finished with them. When we got home i grabbed all the binkies i could see and threw them away (keeping one for his keepsake box) He didn't ask for it until he was going to bed that night and i said..."where is it? i'm not sure sweetie, look around for it" he looked for a little bit and then got distracted. It was such an easy transition. There was maybe two days that off and on he cried for it. But since we established that he was responisble for it, he know he had to look for it and keep track of it.
Make sure you get all of them though! lol this morning my son came upstairs, my husband and i were still in bed) and he had found his red binkie! he was SOOOOOO excited. he told us "i've been looking so long for my red binkie mom/dad" "i'm so excited!!!" My husband took it out of his mouth and said, you are a big boy now! you are three now! he cried a little bit but then was over it!
good luck and i know exactly what you are going through! it was his soothie too. he has a blankie so that helps

I took my son's binky away at 9 months so my experience is limited, but I think you're doing the right thing by talking to him about it since he's older and can understand better. I just did it cold turkey and it took a few days but my son finally started sleeping better without that damn binky and forgot all about it. Of course, a 2 1/2 year old might not forget as easily... or he may, I'm not sure. Perhaps try introducing a new comfort item (a blankie or stuffed animal or something) in the interim so that he can develop another way to self-soothe.

What we did and it worked for us, One day he woke up and it was gone. He looked for it for a while, but soon it was forgotten. Out of sight, out of Mind.

Good Luck R.

we gradually weened my daughter off her binky. first it was "only a binky" during sleep time (naptime and night time). then it was "only a binky" at night time sleep. then we poked holes in the binky - she still "had" it and held it at night, but it didn't work. she cried herself to sleep for a few nights but eventually moved in..

My daughter was the same way. We broke her from it gradually. First she could only have it for naps and bedtime. As soon as she fell asleep, we would pluck it out. Then after a week or two of that, we only used it at bedtime. Then after a week or two we didn't need it anymore. There were a few meltdowns, especially when she got really tired. It only lasted a couple days. Just keep telling yourself it would be way worse to have to start the whole process over again. I was still letting her use a bottle during this time, so I think that helped a little. A month after breaking from the binky, we stopped using the bottle too. Be sure to constantly tell him what to expect... "Only two more days, and then no binky for naps" etc. He is old enough to understand and the more you can prepare him the better it will be. Good luck. You can do it!

To break my niece from the binky, my sister cut off the tip of all the pacifiers and I guess maybe the feeling of it wasn't comfortable or what but it instantly worked.

My friend had her son mail the binkies to the babies at the hospital. She told him that the hospital just called and said that they are out of binkies and asked if they had any that they could donate. The put all the binkies in an envelope, walked it to the mailbox, and viola... no more binkies. She said he as super excited to HELP the babies, until bedtime came. He was super upset, but when reminded of what a good think he did it helped ease the pain.

My sons were never big on binkies, but a friend of mine poked holes on all the binkies she had for her daughter. They told her they were broken and then tried to distract her. She just lost interest. My friend laughs because she wished that she had done it sooner!

Good luck!

I am a life is hard type of mom. I believe in cold turkey. Yes, there will be a couple days of hell. But, seriously, do you think he'll willingly give it up?