The Truth About Santa

NO ONE is crushed to find out that santa isn't real. That's such a myth.

BUT I know 4 of 5 of my adult friends whose parents were the killjoy who spoiled it for them and they watched all their friends get excited and they didn't get anything from Santa.

For the record.... I never directly "lied" to my daughter. I tell her that the story of Santa is the spirit of Christmas. I also said that the spirit of Christmas dies if you are a scrooge and if you don't believe you don't receive.

Santa is such a wonderful, magical, innocent tradition. Yes, i would let him believe in the magic. He will be fine in the end and probably appreciate that you let him have this experience :)

P.S. He is the Easter Bunny here, he is fun too!

I LOVED Santa! So did my husband. It was such a magical feeling to believe. I remember being so excited about seeing him and the nights leading up to Christmas eve,..

I figured it out on my own at 8 with my best friend. We were excited to know the secret and to be able to be a part of the magic for our younger siblings..

I have never known an adult who was crushed or felt like their parents lied, instead they also just enjoyed the fun of believing.

Our family tends to be very creative, we loved pretending and making up fantasies, so to imagine it could be real was part of an awesome time in our lives.

some kids are devastated when they find out dad isn't superman, too. honestly we do the whole thing. i was raised that way and never had any huge emotional scars from it. it's SO much fun. i honestly feel it is harmless. if all kids who believed in santa grew up to be serial killers i doubt he'd be as popular as he is :) although to each his own. if you choose not to encourage the santa thing, be prepared for difficulty on that front too. his classmates will all believe. you'd hate to be the mom of the kid that told everyone santa isn't real....but then again peer pressure is not always the best reason to do something...it's a tricky question for you, i get that.

but i love santa :) good luck with whatever you decide!

I haven't told my kids yet. My two boys are 2.5 and 7. I remember when I was little, I was crushed a little when I found out there was no Santa, but it was still fun to 'pretend'. I got over it real fast. It was no biggy. They will hear all sorts of stuff at school from their friends....'there is a santa....there isn't a santa' etc. It's nice to give your child something to believe in. Even if it is only a pretend character. It's part of using imagination. We make up stories all the time, and a lot of children's stories are fictional. It's no different when it comes to Santa. :-)

I wasn't upset when I found out and I don't think my boys will be either. It's a right of passage. I've never known anyone who was crushed. We have lots of fun with it! Just last night we saw an off duty Santa at a light show, and he was so nice -high fiving the boys and giving them candy canes. It's fantastic to see that wonder and awe in their faces, and it doesn't last too long in the scheme of things.

Wait, Santa's not real? ;)

Neither one of my stepsons was upset to find out the truth - if anything, they felt very grown-up and clever when they figured it out. I remember being the same way when I figured it out at 7 years old. I don't know anyone who was so devastated to find out about Santa not being real that it scarred them for life and made them not want to "lie" to their kids. Believing in Santa is about believing in magic and to me, that's part of what makes childhood wonderful. Kids generally stop believing when they are ready - sort of like they realize it's a part of their childhood that they are ready to leave behind but will always have fond memories.

As for my 4 year old, we do the whole Santa thing - visits and pics with Santa, making a wish list, writing him a letter, leaving cookies on Christmas Eve, the "Elf On The Shelf" reporting back to him every night. I do tell her that Santa only brings a few things and the rest are from Mom and Dad. And that Santa can't bring her everything that she wants since he has to bring so much to other kids everywhere. I figure that will make it easier to explain other things to her later, like why we donate toys and clothes for children and families in need - Santa can't do everything.

I understand your ambivalent feelings, and you should do what feels right to you, but personally, I think not letting your kids believe in Santa is really letting them miss out on a lot of fun.

ETA: My cousin was one of those kids whose parents did not allow them to believe in Santa - she's now 46 years old with kids of her own and she feels as a kid she got ripped off, as far as a "normal" childhood that allowed for magical thinking as opposed to reality-based thinking from day one. As far as she is concerned, she missed out on an essentially part of childhood. So you might have to think about which will devastate your child more - letting him believe and eventually he finds out the real deal, or never letting him believe in the first place.

I love that my kids beleive in Santa probably just as much as they love Santa. It is so much fun for everyone! My daughter lost her first tooth about 5 minutes ago and what would have been cool without the tooth fairy is totally awesome with!

None of my kids were upset to find out. If anything they enjoyed telling me they figured it out. I have actually never met a kid that was crushed. Then again I have never met a kid that didn't believe at some point.

I wouldn't think knowing would ruin it for their friends since most kids believe. If anything your child would have to deal with your mom lies and all that fun stuff. By the time the rest of the kids figure it out they won't remember or care that your son was right all along. He will just be the kid who's mom lies.

I think 2 and a half is too young to understand. I don't start talking about truth and fiction, real, not real, etc... until around 3-4 years. Everything is a game at this age. Relax for another year and then you can decide.

We told our girls that Santa was a wonderful story. We never tried to convince them that he was real. We still had all the celebrations and my girls never ruined it for any of their friends...they did however ask me why their friends parents lied to them, lol. Theyre 16 and 19 now and I've asked them if they felt they missed out....they said no.

God bless!
M.

We told our kids the truth. They all have wonderful Christmases because family is what makes the holiday special, not Santa.

My kids just found this year there wasnt a santa, they both got over very quickly..But they both still have fun with the idea,its still Christmas !!!
Good Luck !!

My kids still believe in Santa, however they asked me point blank about the tooth fairy and I told them the truth. Well, first I asked them if they wanted the truth even if it ruined the magic. They said yes, so I told them. They were hearing that Eater Bunny, tooth fairy, Santa etc... were not real from friends at school. I tell you this as one example of kids not being crushed when they learn that these fictional characters are not real.

If you don't want to introduce Santa, then don't. He's not going to miss out on anything... the sprit of giving and getting will still be part of the theme. There's so much more to Christmas than Santa Claus, you know?

I think Santa can be fun...but I also think that when it's overdone, we cheapen the real magic of Christmas. We've read the legends behind Santa Claus and we've taught them that so long as there are people who share and give...the spirit of Santa Claus is alive and well. We occasionally sign gifts, "from, Santa"...especially when they're anonymous...etc. I just had a real hard time looking my child in the eye when she asked, "Mom, does Santa really land on our roof on Christmas Eve"...and telling her, "Yes, of course he does...". *shrug* Just me tho' - I'm not anti-Santa or anything :). My kids are 1, 3, 5, and 7...we LOVE Christmas...I don't think they've ever felt...shortchanged or anything :)

None of my kids believe in Santa. They are very well adjusted, love Christmas, buying gifts for each other, anticipating the gifts they will receive. We love to celebrate, but just aren't all that interested in giving the credit to some fat man in a red suit. You can still make the holiday festive, fun, exciting for them. One of my sons was one of those children you heard about. We used to do Santa. When we found out he was defending Santa to his friends because "My dad says there is a Santa, and he would never lie to me!" we knew the fat guy had to go. He was crushed, devastated, betrayed by the whole thing. Our relationship with him has been the most difficult of all of our children. We vowed never to do that again. Besides, Santa has too many characteristics of God: omniscient (he sees you when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake), he's good, gives good gifts. But, he is also a distortion of what God is because he rewards for good behavior, for your works, not because of his love. It's just a little too close for us, too much of a lying parallel of God. Do we judge people who do Santa? No. I couldn't really care less if other families celebrate with Santa. It's their own personal decision. It doesn't effect me. Our children are happy and content and joyful and soooo excited for Christmas!

Short version: teach him what you're celebrating. Santa isn't really the MAIN star in the Christian holiday, he's just a fun character. You can teach him what you believe in, let Santa be Santa, and noone really goes to therapy when they find out that their parents bought them wonderful gifts on a holiday. I feel that if you teach him right, Santa's just reminding us how to celebrate and show love to others. That doesn't go away just because the character that reminds us to do so is not actually, physically sliding down your chimney.

We are Jewish so we have never done Santa or the Easter Bunny. However last year (he was 4-1/2) we were at an Easter egg hunt and I asked my son if his friends believed in the Easter bunny (they had one there). He reeled off the list of kids who did, kids who didn't and then volunteered that he was not going to tell - ' I'm going to let them believe in him' is what he said. He has never spilled the beans about Santa either.

You could research the beginnings of Santa and explain that to your child. I did look it up for an article is a woman's group while overseas. Then you can make up the rest of the story on how to present the myth to your child.

Good luck and enjoy. Sometimes the stories are better than the rituals we do.

Happy holidays from cold New Mexico.

The other S.