Sadness over No Easter Bunny

Updated on March 30, 2013
N.R. asks from Chicago, IL
16 answers

So, my daughter just asked her dad if there was really an Easter Bunny and, long story short, the whole house of cards came falling down -- Easter Bunny, Santa, Tooth Fairy. My daughter -- who had been sort of questioning their existence for the last year or so -- is crushed. She claims now that she really did not know (though she answered, "Well, what do you think?" with "I think it's you and Mom.") and all the magic is gone from life. How did you handle this disillusionment when your kids found out? I want her to still find joy in these events. Any good advice, ideas for how to have the magic with out the ruse, etc.? Thanks!

2 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks for all the input and please keep it coming! Just to be clear, we have no intention of not having the Easter Bunny or Santa or the Tooth Fairy come, it's just that she knows they're not real now. SHE said she thought the magic was gone, but we have every intention of keeping it coming the best we can!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Portland on

Talk with her about the spirit of these characters. Tell her that even tho there is no physical Easter bunny, his spirit lives on in each of us. Then talk about ways in which we can celebrate using the Easter bunny as an idea.

You can still do Easter egg hunts and even the Easter Basket. My grandkids still to this even tho they know Mom and Dad are the Easter bunny.

6 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Chicago on

We thought this Christmas would be less magical since my SD knew there wasn't a Santa Claus but it was just fine. She missed the excitement of wondering if Santa was going to come, but she enjoyed her Christmas morning.

For Easter we'll still do a basket and she knows we will hide it. I think it's important to keep the traditions the same, but now you can admit that you're the one doing the hiding!

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Why is there no Easter Bunny?

Ok, I get that she knows who the Easter Bunny is, but why does that mean no more Easter Bunny or Easter Basket?

My kids are little, so I can't speak from that perspective.

I do remember my dad telling me. I'm the oldest, with two younger siblings, so he told me to keep pretending and not spoil it for them. I never heard another word about it from him.

Every Christmas, Easter, tooth, he played dumb. He still plays dumb. Even when we were adults and there were no grandkids he played dumb. It's adorable.

Why not just keep pretending. She knows the truth, but keep pretending. Maybe wink at her or something when you say, "Look what the Easter Bunny brought you."

I don't understand why this issue has to be so cut and dry - either the kids know nothing and there is magic or they know and we all have to be mature adults with no fun in our lives. I hate it when I see adults post on here that once you stop believing in Santa he stops bringing presents. My brother and sister and I got presents from Santa when we were in high school and college. It was part of the fun.

I wouldn't change a thing!

13 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We still did the holiday, Easter Bunny as we got older..

I tell this story every year.. When my sister was 9 and had figured out there was no "Real" anything.. We did not receive our Easter Baskets.. We were so devastated..

When my mom walked into the kitchen she asked, what is wrong with you 2? We said, where are our Easter Baskets? She said "I thought you 2 were too old for that stuff?

What!!!!! We told her no, we still wanted all of the holiday goodies! She laughed and said, What about me? I never get any goodies. If you 2 are still able to get goodies.. me too!

And so from then on the Easter, Bunny, Santa.. all visited all of us. We had the best time putting together the baskets for our mom..We made sure she also had a new Easter outfit and Hat each year for church. Santa began dropping off gifts for her.

We still take her a basket. I need to see if she still has all of her teeth.. Maybe can be her tooth fairy too!

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter asked me last night if the Easter bunny was real. I asked her what she thought, and she thinks I'm the Easter bunny. I did tell he that if she believes its real, it's real.

And why can't mom just be the bunny?

I'm almost 41 and this was the first yea I didn't get a stocking from Santa. I still believe, but Santa was tired and just put our socks in boxes.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Well, when we found out that SD knew about Santa (SS was 13 by the time DH and I married, so I never played that with him), we encouraged her to play Santa for others. We always get gifts for the church Giving Tree or Giving Cross (at Easter) and I don't think it was lost on her the night I was wrapping gifts for that and said, "I believe Santa exists." After that, we started also doing things like having the big kids hide things for US or putting trinkets in OUR stockings, which was also fun. And, FWIW, Santa and the EB continued to bring things though my mother totally denied it was her all through HS. I'd look at her and say "Thank you, Santa." I couldn't weasel a big reward from the Tooth Fairy for getting my wisdom teeth out, though. She said chicken soup and sympathy was enough (was in my 20s).

In our home, we also have other activities with our church and we'll have done 2 Easter Egg Hunts this year aside from dinner with the family. Oh, and DD gets a new winter dress for Christmas and a new Easter dress for spring so there's a lot more to our Easter than bunnies and chocolate (though we do that, too...just sent a gift tower to my SD who is stuck on campus). So let her regroup, and make sure she gets a little something on Sunday as usual, IMO.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I love all the varied responses here....
Makes me think of my late Dad.
He was the biggest "kid" of them all... and was as magical as "Santa" and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and all of those magical things.... that we as child or adult, can still believe in.
Or not.
It is not about truth or lying to our kids.
It is childhood memories... and once our parent is gone... you will remember it for how they conveyed it to you and either continued on or stopped.... the fun/magic/traditions with you or not.
I mean c'mon... as adults now, isn't it all so fun and a part of the holidays? I'd rather have fun, than be a scrooge about it all and all so clinical about it.

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Can't you just be all right with letting your daughter mourn this a little bit? She needs time to process the news and sometimes, we have to trust our children to reason these things out and make things better for themselves. We don't have to make everything better all the time. Not everything needs to a be some big teaching moment by us... the teaching moment in these instances comes from learning to cope with the emotions and processing the information.

As for the rest of it? You just have the holiday the same as you always do.

We have always, always put more importance on the reason for the holidays. When my children figured out early on that Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy don't exist it didn't hit them hard at all. We had already been talking about their historical context all along.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

My kids have never believed in the Easter bunny etc. But their friends do---- so we just tell them its fun to make believe and go along with the story. I have very realistic, honest children who don't buy into the whole lie---But they love to imagine so we just encourage that part around the holidays.

Just tell your daughter that just because she found out, doesn't mean she can't have fun. She can still believe without worrying about whether its true or not.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I like the idea of talking about the spirit of fun of the characters/stories. Maybe even find the roots of the traditions. Learning something new might help? I hope it goes well and she bounces back quickly.

I have a very literal son, and my hubby had friends that were crushed when they learned the truth, so we don't "do" the characters as real, but we do the story and the spirit. If he asks, we explain. Son still likes it and talks about it and enjoys it, but he knows at the same time.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Guess your child's father didn't get much of a childhood from his folks. Any advice? No he's probably going to continue to burst her bubble, if you don't have the ability to get him to keep his mouth shut while she's just a little one.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.T.

answers from New York on

What???? What was your husband thinking??
No way, I kept the ruse going as long as I could. Both my kids believed in Santa, Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny etc....til they were at least 10. My son loved Peanuts and all their specials on TV....he even thought there was a Great Pumpkin! You kind of have to gage where your kid is at. My kids always fished, but I never burst the bubble until I really knew they were ready. So sorry all the magic is gone from your house.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I had to deal with it two years ago. Sure, I had two boys crying, but they got over it. We still have an egg hunt and their chocolate bunnies, but I I don't have to go see Santa or Easter bunny anymore. It's life, they get over it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.P.

answers from Chicago on

the first year after my girls figured it out was a really hard one. We didn't know how to DO the holidays anymore. It still isn't right and we still are trying to figure it out, but we have found that asking the kids for input has helped. Ask him what HE wants to happen.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

aw, i'm sorry! i think it's a tough moment for any kids who believed or wanted to believe. mine were pretty pragmatic about it, but i think they were pretty sure before they asked.
try not to let it bum YOU too much, mama. if you stay cheerful and positive, and excited about the magic moments of childhood, she'll adjust more quickly and find the place in her equilibrium where she needs to be.
don't over-talk it!
ETA we had a terrible family tragedy 3 years ago right before easter, and i didn't have the energy to do baskets for my big hulking sons. they haven't been fancy for years, just a graphic design t-shirt and some gourmet candy, but the absence of the ritual DID hit them. the easter bunny is back at this house!
khairete
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from Victoria on

remind her how much she loved the majic and now its up to her to help little kids keep the magic going !!!!

we never believed in these things as my parents never wanted to lie to us. my brothers and myself all do these things for our children. the magic is so important to pretend and makebelieve than it is to have no magic in there life! so sweet. help her keep it going for other kids. idk how old she is though if she is really young perhaps no???

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions