Seeking Help with Getting My Daughter to Go to Daycare Happy

Hi R.,

Sounds like it has become routine...not fun for you, your daughter or the daycare provider. I think it is unusual that you have been going through this for 3 years, but if it has become a habit, maybe so. Maybe you need to just sit down with her and talk about it...most of my 3 year olds are capable of telling me why they don't like something. Have you tried to tell her why you need to go to work? Give her something to look forward to when you get off work...nothing big, just some one-on-one time, like a story.

Has the daycare provider talked to you about this...doesn't it bother her??? I'm still perplexed by it lasting this long...unless you are a softie and she knows it. Make your drop-offs quick and to the point...maybe she won't have time to get soooooo worked-up.

Good Luck!!!!

C.

Make speedy arrivals and departures. Tell your child in advance, what your expectations are. Such as "We are almost at daycare. I would like you to behave when we get there. You can have 1 goodbye hug and 1 goodbye kiss when we get there and then I must go to work." ...Then no matter how big a fit she throws, leave. The longer you delay your departure, the more the fit will escalate and the longer it will last. If you have anything to discuss with the caregiver, call on the phone to discuss it. The more predictable your arrival and departures, the easier it will be for her to transition between home and daycare.

I brought some of her favorite 'comfort' or soothing toys or items to daycare. I hand them over to the daycare provider and she lures my daugther that way. As weeks went by she just knew the routine and the crying stopped. I understand it's hard leaving her knowing she will cry for the next 10 min or so, but you have to stay strong and pretty soon your child gets used to it. Good luck!

When I drop my boys off we always have the same routine: kiss, hug, nosey, we all say I love you, and I tell them I'll see them in the afternoon. So, maybe try to make a quick routine and follow it everyday. Make sure not to linger...after you pry her off your leg that is. :)

Another thought, since you say she's always done this, are you confident in the care she's receiving? Is it possible that is where the problem lies? You might look into that also. Good luck!

Like the previous post, if you are sure everything at daycare is all good, I hate to say this but it could be your reaction. Are you spending time reassuring her that it will be oaky in a lovey dovey voice? Do you ask her what is wrong all the time or why she doesn't want to stay? I don't want to sound rude, I just have had this with a family I care for (for the last five years, both boys started as infants) and this is the precise reason the boys have each gome through this. It breaks mom's heart so she gets all, it's okay honey, you'll be okay, Mommy will be back tonight.....sort of routine which makes the tears worse.

Try to always be positive and upbeat. Talk friendly with the staff and her teacher. If she sees you like it and like the people there it will help. Lots of times this is for attention since it is hard to spend the day away from the ones we love. If you feel confident then make a goodbye routine, be upbeat about it and get on your way. Try not to overdo it with the sympathy.

Other things you can try (if your daycare will allow) is sending her a special picture she can keep in her pocket, or a small lovey she can have with her until she calms down. A couple of my young ones bring their blankets, another has his stuffed puppy in his carseat ready for when his mom picks him up.

I am not personally a fan of rewarding her for mot crying because you don't want her to feel as if she can't express her sadness or anxiety about leaving you. I don't kow if any of this will help, but it might be worth a try! Good Luck!

I had this same problem with my son. I figure out the daycare was too large 30 kids, he was not getting the attention or time he needed. He was not change regulaly (diaper). He could sense the two people their did not like him.

Found a take care that was ran out of their home, only had six children, more time, more loving, etc, etc. Never had a problem dropping him off. So maybe try changing the Day Care. Good luck