Son Is Extra Clingy Lately

It's the end of the year. They get tired just like us. That combined with Dad traveling can create a weepy little kid. I am assuming that after you leave he settles down. It's probably harder in you than him. I went thru it too.

If he's sad about missing his dad (daddy away) then being away from mommy right now is probably harder too. Don't worry though - after the initial cry, I'm sure he's all right as soon as his mind is off it. My little one had a crying spell (out of the blue) the other day when I dropped her off. I asked her why and she just said "Oh cuz I'll miss you". They're little - it's not that uncommon.

I bet when dad gets home it will be better. My sister had a clingy one and she used to put a little note in her coat pocket, or a tiny little stuffy (small enough not to be seen) and said "just hold the note or stuffy when you need to know I'm thinking of you" and that did the trick. I did it once when my little one had to take bus by herself. Worked very well - I think it takes their mind off the sad part.

Good luck :) I know it's hard on us moms though. Sounds like he has nice teachers which is great.

IMO, it is a phase, sometimes seen at the beginning and end of the year. Kids get spring fever, too. If his dad has been away often for work, tell the teachers about it and see if they can offer you any more insight to his overall day. I would continue to be upbeat and keep departures short and sweet. Good teachers will do what his are doing - come to him and then re-direct him to a new activity.

My 2nd grandson use to do this with his mama all the time. I suggested a treasure for his pocket so that it would be their secret while he was at school. The treasure changed every time he went. It could be a penny, a bottle cap, a little stone, a tiny figure, a piece of paper with a heart on it. Something different every day that only he knew was in his pocket. It really helped a lot.

Maybe since your son is missing his dad (and yes he's picking up on your emotions) you can give him something his dad touched. Put a penny on the dresser or a button and make a big deal about it being his dad's favorite that he can keep in his pocket.

It's probably all you mentioned above. Before your husband leaves, have him put a big, silly, sloppy kiss right in the middle of his palm so he can always "kiss daddy back". I did that and it helped a lot.

Yes, he could be picking up on your emotions, and missing his daddy. Kids are very perceptive. So try not to be overwhelmed and cranky. No offense, but it's common enough for women to bear most of the load of home and child care -- I know I did almost all of it myself. Let some of the home care go during this time. The mess will be there when dad gets back.

All you can do is give him a big hug and kiss, give him your usual goodbye phrase, and then leave. Don't drag out the goodbyes. Walk away so you don't have to see him sad. It's common for kids to go through phases of missing mom after she drops them off, but they get over it and grow up to be happy, productive people.

No worries.

Some do this right up through 2nd grade.
He's seeing friends at school and learning many things.
It might be just transitions he's having a little trouble with.
Teachers see it all the time.
Try not to worry about it.
He'll out grow it sooner or later.

If you can drop him off, find something to do (hit the ladies room, freshen up your makeup, talk to someone at the office, etc) for 5-10 minutes, then peek in, chances are he'll be fine at that point. I felt the same way you did when my son was 3.5 years old in daycare. One day I had to chat with the daycare manager. Peeked in, and he was playing, no tears.

Maybe he's coming down with something on top of dad going out of town and stuff like that. It's hard to know but sometimes they just go through stuff and need a little extra comfort.

My youngest, now almost 9, has been the clingiest when it comes to leaving for school. He is super independent, has lots of friends and loves his teachers and school. But, we had a rough go of things for a stint during Kindergarten. It really was just a phase.

He would struggle going back to school after an extended weekend or holiday break. It is all good now but kindergarten was a bit rough at times. I found he had a hard time watching me walk or drive away from him. So, I made sure that I walked him to class and he had to walk away from me. It was easier if the whole class was lined up and when the teacher opened the door then he walked in fine. There was something about him watching me walk away or drive away then him walking to class alone. It was an emotional trigger for him.

There was one week in particular that was difficulty getting him back in the routine. It was after the long winter/Christmas break. So, I had a little chat with him about needing to go to class without tears or begging to stay home. I made up a little chart that hung on the fridge for the week. Each day he got up, dressed and off to school without tears then he got a sticker. At the end of the week we would go and do something fun together. (not a toy) Time together is the reward. Totally worked and we never had those rough clingy days again.

Good luck! It also helps to sympathize with him, let him chat about how he feels but do not ruminate in it too long. Be positive about it all. My husband travels alot and it was tough on me and the kids all around when they were young. Now, not so much that they are older . I made sure I got plenty of sleep and quiet time even if that meant the kids had some quiet time in their rooms in the early evenings.

You can have the kids draw pictures for daddy and hide them in his suitcase before he leaves on the business trip. Or make pictures and notes and hide them under daddy's side of the bed for when he gets back home. Little things to help him process his fears and sadness will help the big picture.