Crying at School

Take her out of it mom she is still to young you dont want to trama her, its not big deal why force her when she isnt ready... she isnt ready for it, Mom please take her out of it, if you dont she will for ever be afraid of school

aww poor sweetie she is to young

Some things we did: I made up a song that I would sing on the way and sometimes we would sing together: "Mommy comes back, she always comes back" make up the words and the tune however you want. Tell her if she gets sad she can sing that song to herself. Routine is SO important! Same thing every day. At drop off we would give each other 5 kisses and 5 hugs, all right in a row, then one BIG bonus kiss and Big bonus hug, Then my son knew that was it. No more crying for "one more hug" because we already did the bonus hug. Somehow that logic seemed to work for him. The book "the Kissing hand" is great. If she seems to start to settle NEVER try to sneak out to avoid the upset. It will cause her to worry so much more that way. Work closely with the teachers. Since she seems to talk about her day like she enjoys it, it sounds like this is a normal separation anxiety thing that so many preschoolers go thru, as hard as it is on Mom and Dad! Could you perhaps switch to less days she goes? Maybe only 2 or 3 days instead of 4? That might be an easier transition.Good Luck!

Here are a couple of suggestions which you may have tried but I've seen be very helpful. First of all, create some type of drop-off routine for her. Perhaps build in a little extra time to be there for a few minutes before she has to say her goodbyes. Also, communicate the plan with her so she knows what to expect. For example, you may get there and let her know you will stay for 5, 10, 15 minutes - whatever you can commit to. You may even want to provide a little count down every few minutes so she knows how much longer you'll be able to stay. When it's time to actually say goodbye, I know my son loves to give four hugs and four kisses since he's four. It makes the goodbye process fun for him. I would also suggest identifying a teacher that is there every day at your drop off time and set-up a pass-off plan with them. That way they can be prepared to have your daughter sit with them or play with them as you depart. Ideally, if she is having a rough time, you'll want to identify a more nurturing teacher that can help be a calming party for her. Often if you talk to the teacher and make a gameplan for leaving, you'll find it goes much more smoothly and it helps your daughter know what she can expect as well so that it's not so scary when you have to leave.

I hope these tips are helpful! Best of luck to you!

V.,
When my son was little he did the same thing at his school, so I made it a game. I told him that it made me sad when he cried but his kisses gave me energy, so I needed at least 5 every morning at school. He was so busy giving me kisses in the morning that he forgot all about crying.
I know every kid is different so maybe your game will be different but anything you play, I know that you both will have a better start to your day.
Good luck - R.

My opinion being a daycare provider is some 3 year olds are ready and some aren't. I have had many 3 years leave to start Pre-school....some come back and some adapt well. the ones that come back usually stay with me till age 4. Trust me one year is a big difference! Some kids even stay with me till age 5. Not too often, but everynow and then. Most public schools offer pre-K now.

My suggestion is put her into a in-home daycare facility, like mine :) At least the transition will be a little easier next year. Of course she wants mommie and daddie, but to allow her to grow independently you may need to socialize her a little slower. Being in a in-home dayare will provide her with the confidence and school readiness. If you decide to do this make sure the home daycare does teach school readiness.

Good luck

I work at a day care and we see this ALOT! Most likely she cries when you leave, and during transition times, like coming in off the playground, or going in to nap time.

What works well is to make a family photo album. Just a small one you get at the craft store will work fine, put in pictures of EVERYONE in your family, especially ones of her at happy times with you and dad and let her take it to school each day. Being able to get it out and look at it when she is sad helps.

Also if she has a special blanket at home, cutting a small square of it off and putting it her pocket might help alleviate some of that stress.

Lastly try the book, The Kissing Hand, it's about a raccoon who is scared to go to school and how mama makes it better for him by kissing his hand so he can feel her love with him all the time. My son's Kindergarten teacher read this the first day and had ALL the parents do it as they left. It really helped him adjust. Making a goodbye routine with kisses, hugs, and a special something like the kissing hand will help her through the day.

Put a little cheapy photo album filled with pictures of you, her daddy and siblings (if any), in her backpack that she can look at during school when she starts to miss you. You can also include a little simple note to her that tells her that you love her and can't wait to see her after school (you will need to read this to her, of course, before you put it in there). Hopefully this will help her feel more connected with you while she is at school.

I was going to say to make a little photo album with pictures of the family in it and to get the book The Kissing Hand, too!

Hi V.,

My daughter use to do the exact same thing, but the teacher always told me that as soon as I walked out the door after dropping her off she was ok. She'd also be happy and excited when we picked her up and always told me she had a great day! It's completely normal and you can be sure that you're daughter is OK. We've all got to do things that are difficult sometimes, like being a working mom and feeling a little guilty about leaving our children BUT remember that children are very resilient and, being in preschool will make her a healthier and more well-rounded individual. Keep up the great work!

Hi V.,

Just a quick idea that worked for my son when he was left at his family daycare when he was around 3 years old. Since you dont have choice if she goes to school so much, it is not an option for her to stay home with mom. It sounds like you are comfortable with the school where she attends and she has a wonderful time while she is there. The problem is her seperation issues. Part of her problem might be you and your feelings that you have about leaving her or it just might be that she has an issue with change or seperation. The comforting thing is she is well taken care of and she likes her teachers and friends.

One idea I have for you is to talk with her about what kind of day she wants to have? You can role play with her too. Pretend that you are the child being dropped off to school....cry and be dramatic...even to an extreme even on the verge of being silly. Do this in advance before the day. Role play a "happy" goodbye and a "sad" goodbye. Then when you take your daughter to school ask her on the way to school if today will be a "happy" or a "sad" day. THis will make her think about what kind of goodbye she wants to have....this really worked with my son...he would tell me what kind he was going to have and it seemed to make him realize how silly he was being since he really liked his daycare provider too. You could also talk about and point out how children that do it how you want her to model like....just showing her the difference will make her aware.

Good luck and hang in there....she wont go to High school crying...well, maybe college!

I am a mother of 4 children...24, 22, 12 and 7!
Best of luck,
T.

I am a preschool teacher and i have a 3 year old son in my preschool. So I have seen a lot of this. one of the things that helps our kids is we have a family wall. we have the parents bring in family pictures and we post them on the wall. the kids love to show off their family and it helps them stay connected throughout the day. suggest it to your girls class. Or just let her take a picture of you guys to school to keep in her pocket. She will grow out of it eventually. Just make school a positive experience no mater what!

5 weeks? My daughter cried it seemed like the entire first year of pre-school. It was heart-breaking for me to leave her every morning... She was hanging on to my leg, the teacher would have to pry her away from us and we would walk away with her crying and reaching for us. It was terrible!! I was told that she cried for about 1/2 hr after we leave but was fine for the rest of the day. On a couple occasions I had another parent take her inside for me I figure she wouldn't cry with a new person but still the problem continues through the entire year. Just keep talking to her about it and explain that she's a big girl now and needs to show the babies how to behave. it'll get better just be patient.

When i had my son in daycare / preschool i would go a bit early to drop him off so i could sit and play for a bit and get him interested in doing something with his friends. I gave them play ideas and talked with them and got them all going. :O) (it was fun) Then i would leave once he was doing his own thing. Now it didn't always work but for the most part it did.
Just try to be positive and upbeat about dropping her off. She will sense if you are stressed and she will go with it. Try not to anticipate the worst.
Good Luck

Hi!
I taught PreK for three years and we often had children cry when mom or dad left. It was hard on everyone! What I can say is that after a few tearful minutes, most of the children realized that they actually happy to be at school, and went about their day. You are doing the right thing!! I know your heart is breaking...but leaving her at school is best for her. Soon school won't be a choice, and it she won't be able to understand why you can't come pick her up from 1st grade every time she wants to go home. So you are doing great.
Now there are a few things that might make it easier. First of all, it would be nice if as you leave the teacher has something right there ready to distract her. Perhaps she could help the teacher with a special task....kiss mommy goodbye and come help me feed the fish...something like that. You could also send a picture of the family that she could keep in her cubby. She can look at it when she feels lonely. Or a simple note that says I Love You with a lipstick kiss. I bet soon she won't even need it. Some teacher allow phone calls, I would discourage that or she will want to call every 5 min. In my class we made books about our family that we kept on the bookshelf. Besides being a neat literacy activity, the children loved looking at photos from home. The teacher could encourage her to "write" letters to you at the writing center or draw pictures for you.
Talk to the teacher...part of preschool is helping children adjust to being in the school environment...she should be able to help!
Good luck!

Hi there. I just wanted to share with you that my daughter is now almost 5, and has been going to the same full time nursery school for a full 3 years. And today she cried when I dropped her off. I think it's only natural that little kids cry when they say goodbye sometimes and that you shouldn't worry too much. Especially since you said that she seems to enjoy the rest of the day and tells you all the fun things they do. My daughter loves it there and I know as soon as I am gone she forgets all about me and has a great time all day long. Also 5 weeks isn't really a very long time. When we started 3 years ago I stayed with her there for about 4 weeks. 3 years later she still cries sometimes. But only sometimes. I know it breaks your heart to hear her cry and then walk away but it is important that you trust the teachers there to comfort her. Maybe your morning routine is too stressful and she gets upset easily. I noticed that when we get up late and rush around and I am less than charming and lovely to get her to hurry up, she is more easily upset when I drop her off. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds like she loves it there and you should be glad you found such a nice place for her. I'm sure you comfort her and tell her not to cry. That's all you can do. Good Luck!

I am going through the same thing with my daughter (age 3 1/2) right now. She cries almost every morning when I drop her off. One thing that seemed to help was buying a couple of cheap toys and putting them in the "surprise box." If she didn't cry at school then she could open the surprise box after school. She was so anxious to see what was in the box that she didn't cry. This worked a few days but I didn't want to keep bribing with gifts, so now I sympathize with her and we talk about how it must be scary to be at school all day and how it's OK to cry sometimes.. and it seemed to ease her fears to know that mommy understands how she feels.

you could put a picture of the both of you in her back pack to look at whenever she gets sad or my son has a build a bear with my voice recorded in it to help him at night when he's scared, maybe something like that would help!!

Wanted to some responses as my daughter will be attending pre-school in January after she turns 2. My now teenage son never had any problems but you never know with a different child.