My 11Month Old Still Sleeps like a Newborn!!

I think you have to teach him to self-soothe. There is no way you and your husband can go 11 months without sleep. It's also essential for brain development that your child learn to get through the night and calm himself. And if the next child is getting on that schedule, you're multiplying the problems.

My pediatrician recommended that we do the Ferber method. We did, at 6 months. It was hell for 3-4 nights and then it was done. Please read up on it. It's NOT uncontrolled cry-it-out. Not at all. You don't just leave him in there to cry and cry - you teach him to calm down by rubbing his back, saying a few reassuring words (always the same ones), and NOT picking him up and talking a lot.

One of the reasons he's not sleeping is that he is exhausted. Tired and cranky children don't calm down and get solid sleep.

If you choose another method, fine. But whatever you choose, stick with it. Make sure you and your husband are on exactly the same page, and that you don't waver. It's VERY hard to stay calm and not show your frustration and exhaustion for the few days it takes to do this, but it's worth it.

So, a few years ago I would have answered this differently, but I've kind of changed my tune based on my experiences with my two girls, especially my youngest. I feel like there's almost nothing more important than sleep for your health, and your ability to be the kind of mom you want to be.

Some people will tell you, "don't get in bad habits now, or you'll never break them," but based on experience I feel like that's not necessarily true. Look at it this way...he's already in the habit of getting up all night, and so it can only get better from here! I would suggest that you do what works at this point to maximize your sleep and baby's sleep. Will he sleep if you bring him in your bed, or if you set up a bed and sleep on his floor? When my youngest was one, she would wake up periodically throughout the night. I spent a lot of time fighting it, trying different things, and finally realized if I just grabbed her and brought her to my bed, we were both back to sleep within a minute and started getting more rest. I'm by no means a co-sleeping advocate, just a person who wanted to sleep :). We eventually got her a trundle bed, and then if she would wake up one of us would go in there and lay down, and again everyone was back to sleep within minutes. Now that she's 2 and can be "reasoned with" a bit, she's old enough to understand when I say at bedtime that she needs to shut her eyes and go back to sleep if she wakes up during the night, and she does. She's turning into an awesome sleeper who asks to go to bed and sleeps 11+ hours per night. I'm so glad that I stopped fighting it and just found ways for us to sleep. For some kids (certainly not all) it seems like the more drama that there is surrounding sleep (such as cry it out methods), the more anxious and upset they become about sleep (not to mention you, and your older daughter!).

Anyway, for what it's worth that's my two cents!

That is exactly how my first child was (my son). I never did figure it out. He also was up every hour many nights...sleeping 2 or 3 hours at a time by the time he was 1. We tried the Ferber method every day for 4 months and he never learned a thing. We never wavered on it but he didn't respond like one is supposed to. He would completely exhaust himself and sleep about an extra hour though. But he never learned to self sooth. Once he could read we would let him read a while at bedtime and at around 2nd grade he was finally great about not needing us and going to bed well. Now he is 11 now and my only guess is it is his personality. He has always been extra sensitive to everything. He is also extremely stubborn and strong willed. He is a very difficult child. Things bother him. Food isn't right much of the time. Little things at school are huge catastrophes to him. Homework is a huge battle/argument almost daily. He's definitely the "out of sync child" (a book I recommend) and a "spirited child" (another book). He sees a therapist...he has a bit of sensory processing disorder and oppositional defiance disorder. He's super smart academically (he was reading at a young adult level in 2nd grade)but he's got anxiety and quits everything bc he is not perfect at it. Raising him has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I keep telling myself he is a work in progress. His brain/wiring is definitely different than the average child. I am so happy we had our daughter (we almost didn't have another bc our son was so hard) bc I would feel like it was my fault and I am a failure as a parent if we didn't. Perhaps your child is not like this, but you just described to a T how my son was as a baby. Anyway, I think you should start by trying to teach your son to self soothe and see where that leads you. Perhaps he will do better than my son did!

My middle child was the same way for the first two years of her life... It was terrible!!! There was really nothing we could do about it. Eventually she out grew it. Every night I would just tell myself this won't last forever and try not to get pissed. Keep your cool... In time it'll pass.

Just because he's not spitting up any more doesn't mean his reflux is gone. His tummy is getting bigger, and his esophagus longer, but that doesn't mean the muscle that is supposed to keep the acid in place is strong yet. So the acid can still be coming up and burning his esophagus when he lays down, even if he doesn't spit up. You don't spit up every time you get heartburn, right?

Is he still on any meds for reflux? Or did you get him tested at a pediatric GI to make sure it's gone? Because from what you've written, this sounds like a classic reflux baby sleeping pattern. My reflux baby didn't outgrow his reflux until he was 17 months old. The good news is that when he did, he instantly started sleeping through the night.

In the meantime, come up with a plan so that you and your husband can get a full night's sleep a few times a week. What worked best for us was to take turns with a whole night. Whoever was on duty had the baby monitor on hand, and got up to comfort the baby for every waking. Whoever was sleeping was in a room where she/he couldn't hear the baby or monitor, and got a full night's sleep. So we each got a full night of sleep at least 3 days per week.

Good luck - it is very tough I know.

I hear you! Niether of my kids were good sleepers. Some may say we started "bad habits" but we did what we had to do to get sleep! That meant co-sleeping (which I said I would never do), sleeping in my son's bed with him, letting our daughter sleep on the couch because it was the only place she would sleep. It meant that I slept with a kid more than I slept with my husband sometimes. But, we were all getting the sleep we needed. Cry it out and other sleep methods never worked for us. With my postpartum depression I couldn't handle the crying for even jus put a few minutes. My husband often works evenings and I was trying to do it all on my own. I finally gave up on what the "experts" said, and did what I knew was going to work for us. All the "bad habits" we started are pretty much gone. Our daughter sleeps all night in her own bed. Once in awhile with her insomnia she wants to sleep with us. We are fine with that. Our son sleeps all night alone in his bed every night. Once in awhile he will sneak into bed with us if he wakes up early in the morning. Your son will out grow it eventually. In the mean time, it's ok to break all of the experts "rules".

You have to break this habit if you want it to stop.
Pick a sleep training method that you're comfortable with and use it consistently.