Marriage/family Counciling

Oh sweetheart I am in tears I am so sorry you are going through this. My heart goes out to you, I have been in a crummy relationship liked this before. I'm happy for you that you know it's a problem, and you need to do something. I know you said you didn't necessarily want religious, but his is what I know of so I will throw it out there. They have been really good for me.
LDS Family Services
CA Colton Office (CA Van Nuys Agency)
791 North Pepper Avenue
Colton, CA 92324-1800
PH: ###-###-####
FAX: ###-###-####

There is one other resource I know of Matt Townsend my husband and I went to one of his presentations it was awesome. I don't know if he travels but he would probably know of someone in your area, he also sells video's and cd's that could help.
http://starvedmarriagehelp.com/

Is he willing to go to counseling. I hope so if not you have to do what you have to do to protect yourself and your daughter. He definately is being abusive, and has anger issues. I know it's hard but try not to take his insults personally when he says something mean think to yourself he is hurting and doesn't know how to deal with it properly yet. Don't excuse it, this is just a coping tool until you can get the help you need. Go to counseling as soon as you possibly can. Marriage counseling if he is willing to go, be sure to do individual counseling as well. I know you said your not really religious, but I am and I am going to pray for you. Please get the help you need the sooner the better. Thank You for reaching out. I hope this helps. You are a powerful and important person, and deserve to be treated kindly no matter what he or anyone else says. Bless You Sweetheart.

J.,
I don't have that Ins ,nor do I go to your Medical Grp ,but, if I were in your shoes, I'd start by asking my doctor for recommendations and check with your Insurance Co to be sure the one you choose is covered. It really doesn't sound like he'd go to a counselor, but, for your sake ,I hope he does.
If he doesn't , it doesn't mean you can't go for yourself. You'll be a better person for it . Realize that there is nothing wrong with asking for help and that you are worth it. Start standing up for yourself, and ignore his negativity . You can't help someone who can't admit he needs help, but, you can show him by example , when you go on your own ,if he refuses . Keep you head up and think positive,because negative will get you a negative return. Pray about it (you don't have to be "religious" to pray, just believe there is a higher power out there. The results may suprise you. :)
Best of Luck, C. S.

You need to ask yourself...Do I really want to try to fix this? Think about your daughter do you want her to grow up and marry someone like her Dad?