Looking for Advice on Little or No Sex Drive

Yeah, I'm in the same boat too, but to be frank, I am SO TIRED of the whole sex subject. People put way too much emphasis on the amount of sex we all should be having. Maybe if we moms weren't so absolutely exhausted, covered in spit up/etc, and had the husbands actually clean up the kitchen for a change we would be in a better mood. All I know is that after taking care of a toddler who is all over me, and having 2 cats constantly wanting my attention, I need space and quiet. Right now my fantasy is staying in a hotel with room service, and sleeping the day away. Sad isn't it? Sorry to vent, hope that you find the solace you are looking for.

No advice here, I am having the same problem!!! :o(

Hi Ladies,

I want to start of by saying that I am not trying to sell you on anything, but I know that our products work! I am a Passion Party Consultant and would love to have ANY OR ALL OF YOU attend one of my parties. Not only myself but every other consultant that I have spoken to says they have had many people in your situation that they have helped to get the spice back in their relationships. PLEASE check out the new book just released by our company President Pat Davis "The Passion Parties Guide to Great Sex" http://www.passionparties.com/email/

PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE: www.ask4passion.com

We have everything from bath/body, sensual products, toys, books & games to not only get you in the "mood", but to help you get that spark back. I am very professional and knowledgeable about my products.

You can either host a party of your own and get FREE products or you can attend one of the several parties that I will be putting on in my home. If anyone is interested, please do not hesitate to email me anytime. I am also available to do a personal consultation if you want.

Thanks for you time,
S. C. Lincecum
____@____.com

Have you had your thyroid checked. If your thyroid is underactive it would cause this sort of porblem.

Wow, Glad to see I'm not alone. I don't feel so "abnormal" now. So sorry not to have any advice. Blessings and please share any ideas that may come your way.

I have to admit, I am in the same boat. I am looking forward to see how others have dealt with this problem.

Hi D.~

I think that a lot of people might have this problem. I actually found that I have had a hyperactive thyroid, a condition called post partum hyperthyroidism as a result of having a baby. When your thyroid is out of whack it completely messes with your hormones including you sex drive. You thyroid works as a checks in balances with your pituitary gland. When your thyroid is making too many hormones (T3/T4) then your PG responds by making less TSH. This lowers your sex drive... So maybe it has something to do with that. I would go to your OB and have a panel done on your thyroid...

On another note. Maybe you are tired. A three year old and 10 year old definitely keep you busy! Do you do anything to make time for yourself to relax. Maybe if your basic needs are being met then you might feel a little bit more like heating things up with your husband!! I hope you find some answers soon... I know that it is frustrating when you can't find reasons for behavioral changes! If you end up needing an endocrinologist I know a great one!!!

J.

Know that you're not alone.
My advice is to write reminders on your calender to think of it periodically. I have used "TS" (think sex). I would also suggest prayer. There is a great book that was recommended to me called "Intimate Issues" by Linda Dillow that was helpful to me and many others. It can be found in a local Christian bookstore, or maybe a library.

hello there. i'm going to share something for you to think about. i'm a happily married (11 yrs) mother of three who has intimacy almost every night. sometimes i'm not in the mood but i make myself and usually end up enjoying it. there is no greater incentive than to please my husband. he's a wonderful, wonderful man, with faults but we all have them. men are just wired that way, they need intimacy and are much better husbands when they have sex (the more, the better husbands they are). if things are not working in the bedroom things will not work outside the bedroom. communication shcommunication. until we put our husband first he will not put us first. we can talk about it until we're blue in the face but just do it! you know how sometimes we eat when we're not hungry but we eat anyway and we actually enjoy eating and we eat more (that's how we gain weight), the same happens with sex. think about how awesome it is to feel wanted and loved by your husband. get yourself all prettied up and seduce him! try putting his needs before yours and i bet you'll start living a new life. wish you well.

Well, I have been watching the responses & thanks for asking the question. I think this is one that all couples struggle with & you have to constantly work on. One person recommended doing the Weekend to Remember - which is an incredible program. We have done this multiple times & we try to get away once a year to do a marriage type class like this just to renew ourselves. I have also read the book Intimate Issues that was recommended & highly recommend it also. Another great book is Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman. He also has a book on Love Languages which might be a great book for both you and your husband to work through and learn what means the most to you. Plus, it is a fun book! I think there is so much stuff battling at our marriages and we need to protect them at all cost for yourself, your husband and your children. Your children are watching & how you treat one another will affect them & their own marriage some day. Find out what your husbands love languages are & start doing those things - it could be as simple as leaving notes. Take care & good luck and fight for your marriage no one else will. I do agree with the one note that said if you meet your husbands needs - you will be shocked at what a different husband you will have. I guarantee you will see a difference!

I have been there, too. I agree with the others, that you do need to put your husband first. We went to the Weekend to Remember (go to www.familylife.org) last year and that was a good place for us to really talk about the issue. Family LIfe is a Christain organization and they have some great books & resources. I recommed Simply Romantic Nights-- a box of blue envelopes for husbands and red for wives to use to put together very creative evenings together. That has been fun-- I need to get the box back out again! I admire your courage to ask!
A.

I swear by a natural supplement called Dong Quai. It helps to regulate the feminine hormones. You take about 6 pills a day - either 3, 2 times a day or 2, 3 times a day. It was recommended to me by my naturoathic Dr. I took them for about a year and could feel myself returning to normal. You take them for as long as you feel you need them. HTH! Let me know if you need anymore info!

Good luck and I hope we find the answer. I am in the same boat and have been for a few yrs. It has been a few months for us, maybe longer, I dont actually keep up with it and I keep saying I am going to try to make contact and get close in that way again but then I come up with excuses or just am not in the mood. I dont know what has happened as I used to be really involved with my sex drive. I do not have thyroid problems and I am on meds now but only for the past few months and this has been going on for yrs so it cant be the meds either. Maybe we should try the vitamins hugh? I wish you good luck, and good luck to us all having this issue. Take care.

I'd like to know of any responses to this too. You're not alone, D.. I felt terrible the other day when my husband slyly snuck in the fact that we haven't been together for almost two months! Yikes! Has it really been that long? I had no idea. The poor guy. What have you girls had luck with? I'd really like to know a cure. I do know that anti-depressants can cause low sex drive, so I stopped taking those. I know that birth control can do it too- not on those anymore. I haven't been on any regular meds for over a year, but still nothing. Are you on any meds, D.? Any good natural supplements for it out there?