Just Want to Know What Others Think

Continue growing as a person and improving yourself and your
education and dedicate yourself to your child and yourself
first; try not to get drawn in to other people's squabbles
and the talking that goes on unless it applies to you and
the friend you are talking to....don't talk about someone
who isn't there...you will find true friends as time goes
on in your family and outside your family, but you must be
a true friend also and that means: DON't get drawn in...you
will always be the one who gets hurt in these "she said this,
No, she said that" situations....just say NO.
G.
(wife of 25 years, Mom, Grammy with several Dear friends)

I think you should try and get together with your sister and your friends and iron it out face to face. It is so hard to read the temperature of the conversation when it is email or texting. All of you are adults and should be capable of having the "air it out" conversation in person. It sounds like mis-communication to me.

Good Luck.
D.

Your story was a little bit confusing because of so many people involved, but my opinion is that family should come first. You and your sister share a lifelong bond and hopefully by looking out for her and being someone she can count on in times like this, you can develop a closer relationship.

It's unfortunate that your "friends" are being so vindictive and deceitful and if they can't see that what they're doing is manipulative and wrong, then both you and your sister are better off without them. A friend is someone you can trust and it doesn't sound like these women offer that. Also, the text message you received at 5am was extremely immature and you shouldn't have to deal with that nonsense. I would just bid them farewell and move on.

I understand how difficult it is to make and keep friends. I'm a 27 yr old SAHM and I only have 2 friends in Phx. My parents and sister live in another city so it can be lonely, however, I'm much happier to go out on my own than to waste my time with fake people who offer me nothing but drama.

Don't get down on yourself about the situation. It's not your fault or your sister's and it truly sounds like you'll be better off without these women in your life. Best of luck... I hope this helps! =)

S.,

It might be difficult for you now, but in the future you'll see that you did the right thing. I had a similar situation happen to me and it was so hard to lose two friends at once, but in the end I do still talk to them on occasion but I have found that losing them showed me that i had a friend waiting in the background who was better to me than they had ever been. Your friendships with your friends were longer than mine but as one of the ladies said before me, we grow up and we change. Maybe you needed this, maybe you'll cry over it for months like I did, but you will get through it and you'll be better! Good luck and good for you for making family first!

T.

I would venture to say the phrase "good riddance to bad rubbish" might apply here. As we get older we start to learn the skill of weeding out those who are going to be positive influences in our lives and those who will not. Seems she is not a good influence or friend and I think it's time to be ok with her bouncing to the curb. You will make new friends, I suggest you find positive places to find those friends whether it be at your workplace or in a church setting.

I say forget those friends, family is family which is way more important than your friends should ever be! If your friends cant understand that she is your sister and that you did what you did because she is your sister than they werent truely your friends anyway and you dont need them in your life. I too have been through similar situations and am actually going through them right now with a couple of my friends who may not be my friends to much longer either! Hang in there, I am here for you if you need someone too! Just email me, I am always looking for new friends because good ones are SUPER hard to find!!! S.

my granny had a saying that i use all the time " mejor sola que ,mal acompanada" " better to be alone than in bad company" . sometimes family should be thicker than water but not always. if they had something illegal in the house she has a right , even if she knew about it, to throw them out. if they had jsut paid rent then they should get it back in a prorated manner. allowing them to move into your apartment after knowing that they ovbiously have something illegal voids the thicker than blood deal. you need to protect yourself too. and finally, your sister needs to find her own place. she has kids and its not good for them to be dragged around form place to place. by enableing her to not get her life in order by offering a place for her is not good. also if you did nto hear it form your ex friend, nor your sister you should have confronted your ex friend first and asked her about it. it may have just been a rumor and you acted onit and in that situation i would have been mad too. you can always have friends anywhere anytime. good firends are hard to find and if she wasnt a good friend you didnt need her on you list

Relationships are about respect, trust and honesty - regardless whether family or friends.

Your friend has every right to kick your sister out if there was a reason to call the police over something she found in her home. Perhaps she DID say it was "ok" to begin with (which would make your friend ignorant), and then "woke up" to the fact that her home could be taken away should the illegal item be found there.

Your sister sounds immature - once you have children, you have to put yourself second, and drug paraphernalia is a sure sign that your concern over the well being of your children is not in their best interest.
She needs to wake up. Since you love her, obviously you want to help her, but the fact that you also have a child comes first... which limits your ability for hands on help.

If I were you, I'd concern myself with being a mother far more than the issues of my sister or friendships lost and gained.

Yes your post is a little confusing but I think I got the gist. I agree with the very 1st response. Have you wondered why your sister with a bf AND kids don't have their OWN place but can make rent? (apparently) *IF* she did have *something that would get the cops called on...family or not..what would happen if they move in with you? Maybe your kid takes it school for show & tell. Your sister would not be to blame- you would.
I try to remember that if it is my house/property that whoever is around I am responsible for their behavior/actions when they are in my house or any of my property.
Have a "sit down" and get people to back their story up when all is on the table. 98% will be lack of communication. Ask 10 people what color the sky was & get 10 different color of blues. LOL