Is It Possible to Have 2 Good Children?

I had seven 'good' children...

And now I have seven wonderful young adults.

I am blessed.

Michele/cat

**I believe that children are inherently 'good' (I HATE that word)...sometimes behavior can be inappropriate...but they ALL strive to be 'good' people...If that makes sense!**

They're all different and there are no guarantees.

Both my kids are great.

And funny enough, they seem to alternate in their "harder" phases. That's pretty considerate of them imho.

They're so wonderful I wish I had had more.

Good luck.

I have kids and they all have unique temperments and personalities. As babaies they were all really good. Sweet, lovable, good sleepers, etc.
But when it comes to kids that make messes and noise, mine splits down gender lines. The girls are calmer, quieter, more likely to sit still and read. The boys are both crazy, hyper, busy, messy, and loud.

Lol, he's only 18 months, mine was the same until then and did a 180, calmed down when she was 3.5, then was a great child until she turned 14...and settled down again at 18. And we had some VERY rough patches.

Point being, yes, you can have 2 good children, but all kids have their ups and downs at different times. (Take a look at some of the posts here on Mamapedia that start out saying how good a child was until a certain age then, BAM!) So consider yourself blessed, and if you want another child go ahead, just roll with whatever you get ; )

Yes, I have four good children, just not at the same time. I think they share a personality.

I think all six of my kids are great kids.

I have two wonderful children. They have different personalities. And they have had different "issues" as they developed. The older is a great eater, and the younger is a stubborn eater. However, the older is a control freak when it comes to playing, and the younger one is comparatively easy going. But they are both kind, sweet, happy, loving, smart, polite kids.

The fact is, you can't imagine any child being as good as your first until you have your second. You WILL feel the same way about both of them. For me, I have special memories of my first which can't really be replicated because she IS my first. However, I think they are both great.

And on top of it, seeing them together as siblings is a bonus. They give each other a lot of joy. I was an only child too, and I love my children's relationship to each other. I really feel a sibling is a gift to your child. Thier relationship makes them even better!

For me, the second time, with motherly experience, has been so much easier. However, even if you have a difficult infant (colic, etc.) I think you wouldn't ever regret it.

You should never be forced to have a child, of course. But the notion that two is innately more difficult is crazy. So is the idea that you can't possibly be blessed twice with a "good child."

I think it depends on what you mean by "good". I feel like I have 2 really great kids. They are very different from each other, and each have their own gifts challenges, but I treasure who they are as people and accept them for who they are. Parenting isn't easy no matter what kind of kid you have. And while your son may be a delight now at 18 months, he may be "difficult" at other ages.

I think it's great for people to really examine if they want kids and how many they want. There's so much pressure to have children and then if you do, to have more than one child. Yet, not all families want to, or are equipped to handle more than one child. One of my favorite daycare families chose to have only one, and they are the very type of people who I wish would have more because they are such terrific people and parents. It isn't what they want or felt would be best for their family...

I think if you're happy with having an only, you should stick with one. You can certainly build a family of close friends around your son. Having a sibling is no guarantee that they'll be close, just because they are family.

Good luck

Yes. I have quite a few friends who have 2 or 3 easy/mellow children. My brother had his 2nd child this summer and they got another easy one! Honestly, i feel like it is unfair. My husband and I produce babies who do not like to sleep and are strong willed and intense. Ok, my daughter is actually a lot easier than her brother...but she also has sleep issues. I feel like I'll be sleep deprived forever. PS - As an adult I LOVE having siblings. I loved it as a kid too...but now it is so helpful to have other people who understand the issues we have with our parents! And other people who have the same upbringing...it's so great to be friends with them as adults :)

Both my boys were "easy" babies and mind relatively well for their ages.
While the verdict is still out, I love having them both and while definately their one people, both super precious and loving individuals.

From a family of four kids - we were all "good" and have turned out "good" too, if I do say so myself. :)

Yes, two well-behaved and respectful children are totally possible! I look at my 2 boys daily and are reminded of how special they are! They are so polite and get along great with anyone. They listen (well, most of the time!) and make me such a proud Mama. Don't get me wrong, nobody is perfect and they definately have their moments (don't we all), but overall they are so well-behaved. I definately feel like I am doing something right!

Ditto to what Catwalk said: Sometimes behavior can be inappropriate, but I think all children strive to be "good"!!

It depends on you as a parent. Obviously you can't pick a kids temperament, especially those first few months, but once they get to say 9 months they are pretty much at the mercy of you as a parent as to how they behave.. At least that's what I keep repeating over and over in my head (I'm due end of Nov with #2). So IMO (as of right now) I say it depends on you as a parent to teach your child how a good kid behaves, in turn making them a good kid :).

And if not I'll just relish the years I've had with my good kid lol.

Sure you can have two good children...they just won't always be good at the same time :)

Eh, my kids are both good children. :) They both have their individual faults and good things about them. Overall they are very well balanced.

I think you shouldn't worry about what others say and you definitely shouldn't worry that just because you have one great child your next one will be worse. It is true kids come in all shapes & sizes per say, but they also get a good dose of you and your husbands genetics. So the chances of having another "good" child is very high.

People used to tell me and my husband all the time about what daughters would be like. And how life "gasp" without a son would be. What I can tell you is.... having two daughters for us means having two daughters with two very different personalities. Has one been better than the other, sure at times in certain circumstances but over all I can proudly say they've both been good children. But not one person is perfect anyway, are they?

I have three great kids! All different personalities and 1:1 they are angels! But they do pick on eachother. My DD was the spirited baby, my second DS was the classical textbook baby, and DS #3 was the angel baby...yep laid back and takes it all in his stride.

Ditto S.M.

The only thing different is that when my son (the older of the two kids) was 2 he was a handful because he was so independent. He walked from 10 1/2 months and was ALWAYS going. Climbing on things. Not wanting to be held. Not wanting to be in a stroller or whatever... always wanting to be on the ground/floor doing his own thing. Some days I thought I would go crazy it was so stressful and time consuming just trying to buy groceries~
Other than that, he was great. Wonderful baby. Great sleeper (through the night by 3 months) great eater (still eats everything under the sun) polite and well mannered, respectful, etc etc etc...
Daughter is all of those things and more. She is JUST as independent as he was.... only it is expressed a little differently in her personality. She was a pretty easy baby (slept thru the night at 6 weeks), no colic, not fussy, etc etc etc... Content to sit and read books, cuddly and liked being held and snuggled, blah blah blah. But boy does she have a mind of her own at 10 yrs! She's still very polite, respectful, well mannered, etc... but she WILL let you know her opinion---and she has lots of them, lol.

Was I scared that a 2nd child would be a challenge that would send me over the edge? Yes. Did she? Not yet..... Do I love them both passionately? Absolutely. Do I regret "risking" a "bad" baby? Does it sound like it? NO!
And watching the 2 of them together (or just listening to the 2 of them sometimes).... as the credit card commercial goes...: Priceless.

no way, you'll have one EASY and one so hard you will cry and then just when you get a handle on it all, they will flip and the good one will push every button you have and the other will act lilke an angel.

I come from a family of 4 "good" children...I have 3 awesome kids myself! I loved growing up in a larger family. My 2 sisters are my very best friends - I talk to both every day and cannot imagine my life without them! I feel that the greatest gift I have given my children is each other. All children are different - all 3 of ours are so different, but all 3 are great kids. Your parenting has a HUGE impact on how good your kids are :)

I have 3 children. My first was a handful from the moment he was put on my chest when he was born, still is. He is the text book example of a High Need Child as detailed in Dr Sears' Fussy Baby book (oh how I cried tears of joy when I found that and knew it was nothing I was doing "wrong"). My other 2 children, especially my third have been a breeze, especially when compared to my first. So noticable so that people that bad mouthed me with my first apologized because they realized it wasn't "bad parenting" but the way he was born.
I always had the nag in the back of my mind of oh man how will I ever survive if I have another like my first. But 2 more children later and they are so much easier and different.
There is no guarentee that any further children are going to be a handful or that they are going to be as easy as your child you have now is or something completely different yet. You will never know until you have them what they're going to be like. I have seen families where every child they have is "easy going" and I have seen families where every child is quite the whirlwind.
I love all 3 of my children for who they are. It takes more tricks and patience to deal with one over the others but oh well. We've gotten very good at it now ;) Don't let other's imaginary horror stories scare you from the family you may want.

Yep...it's all about your parenting style. Just know that each child is different and has different needs. You can't treat them equally, because they are different people.

Hi

First, I believe that all children are good. They are too young to be labeled otherwise. Whatever you put out in the universe is what you will get in return. I have two amazing boys who both have different temperments but I love them both the same. They both are very intelligent life learners, advid readers, well behaved, athletic, get along most of the time with each other, social butterflies and "good" kids all around. I think it all depends on how you raise them. Treat them equally. I'm always getting complimented by my family members, teachers and people I don't even know about how well mannered and well rounded individuals they are. Children tend to become a product of you. You can't expect them both to be the same people even if they're siblings. That's just not possible. You shouldn't compare either because that wouldn't be fair. Just do your best in raising them well and everything will fall into place. Hope this helps.

It seemed it wasn't long after I had my daughter that people started asking - when are you going to have another? I was married when I had her, and my husband assumed / tried to insist that she would have a sibling. I have two sisters. I rarely see them. My ex-husband has a relationship with his brother, but it's not what I'd call "close". I still have an only daughter.

My daughter went through a phase where she wished she had a brother or sister... basically a built-in playmate and the question arose when she was bored. During this time, I'd feel a little guilty wondering if it was selfish of me not to want another child.

I think jealousy motivates some people to suggest that every child simply ought to have a sibling because they picture only children as being indulged read: spoiled and that's baaadddd. To think otherwise is to dwell on all the times they wished they had mom or dad's attention but didn't.

To answer your direct question, however, I think it's entirely possible to have two or three or five great children if you've got the wherewithal to be firm and fair and consistent and put in the time to parent them appropriately. But that's just my guess. It wasn't the reality of my childhood and it isn't the reality of my parenthood.

I would say, though, don't let anyone make you feel as though you're selfishly depriving your child of companionship by not providing her with a sibling.

God bless you and yours.

Our daughter was also "easy" compared to others in lots of ways..

My husband likes to say we got it right the first time.

No one can guilt you into having more children. Search your heart. If you really want another go for it. If in your heart you know you are complete. stop.

We have never had a regret. Even asked our daughter about it many times. She said sometimes she felt lonely, but all she had to do was have a friend over and she was fine for a long while. hee, hee.

I have 3 very good children. They are all delightful. They all have their moments of course, but then so do we all. And yes, I have my hands full most of the time, but full of very good things. Life is very busy, but very wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing (okay, maybe I'd have someone to do the housework for me, but I think I'd want that even if I had no children, lol!)

When you go from 1 child to 2, you have to learn to juggle. You have to learn to juggle the needs of 2 children and keep those balls up in the air. It's still fun and wonderful, but until it get used to it, it's very difficult. In some ways the change from 2 to 3 is easier, because by then, you're already juggling -- you just have to juggle faster. Some days are hard, and you can't figure out how to do everything at once. My kids are 10, 6, and 2 now, and some days I feel like it's all I can do to get everyone where they need to be, but some days we're like a well oiled machine, and everything flows and everyone gets everything they need and want with ease and grace.

I do!......hoping for a third.

I have two very good children. They are very different from each other but they are great.

I have 3 super kids :) every child comes with its own personality and set of challenges - my oldest has been on the go since the moment he could roll over & still is happiest when he is chasing a ball around! my second guy was always more of a lover and like playing with legos and blocks, and my third (finally a girl lol!) is such a doll, and absolutely adores her brothers (just as they adore her). I love to watch them interact and have fun :)

good luck with your decision - i'm sure you will be happy whether you choose to have more children or not :)

sending hugs!
~T.

I have a problem with the word "good," because challenging is not the same as "bad."

However, I have always been happy to see that in cases where a friend has such an easy child that she thinks she's the world's most amazing mother, she is almost always knocked off her pedestal by baby #2.

So not to be mean-spirited or anything...but it feels good when that happens. :)

You never know what the gene pool is going to deliver - it's a roll of the dice. There was a study done w/the following results - what they found was that only children are super achievers ad well-adjusted. We just have one daughter and never regretted the decision. Think long and hard on your decision to have another child. There are tremendous emotional demands on you to raise a child - not ony financially but all the stresses and strains that go into it and the early years that you are experiencing now are the easiest ones - the harder years come later on and especially the teen years which can be especially challenging and downright frightening. Best of luck to you.

That's what parents are for to guide and teach their kids.