Students That Teachers Like

What an odd question!
I never thought of it as necessary to have a kid be 'liked' by a teacher.
I tell mine (4th gr) to follow the rules, be prepared, be a friend to his classmates and that every child has an equal right to be in that class. There shouldn't be favorites.
Unprofessional, IMO.
That said, so far, we've not had an issue.
Maybe teachers like it when kids are respectful, polite & follow the rules?

I remember the students that are nice and respectful. I sometimes remember the ones who do well academically, but by and large, the ones that stand out as the ones that I remember fondly are the ones who treated me and their classmates with respect.

I was a decent student. I probably could have done much better if I had made an effort, but I was lazy. Most of my teachers don't remember that so much as they remember that I was respectful. I followed the rules, I did what I was asked to do and I didn't cause trouble.

This is an interesting question, but one that is impossible to answer. Maybe it's different in the younger grades, but I doubt it.

I'm a high school teacher, and when I sit at lunch and talk with other teachers it's so interesting to hear about how a student that I absolutely love is another teacher's least favorite student. So often a student will walk in my room, and the teacher across the hall from me will come over and whisper, "Does he/she do any work for you? He/she didn't do a thing for me last year." I'll often reply that he/she is an excellent student for me. Sometimes it's the other way around.

Personalities are funny; some students and teachers just click. Others don't. Whether we like each other or not we still need to work together respectfully and with kindness. I've been teaching for almost 20 years, and there are very, very few students that I truly didn't like, and I did my best to make them think that I did like them.

As for making your child a student that teachers like, no. Let your child be whoever he/she is. Just teach your child to be respectful and to follow the rules of society, but it's most important for students to learn to be themselves (and that is such a hard lesson for some).

I have two sons who the teachers like very much, although for different reasons. One is very serious and smart and school comes very easy to him. The other is very funny and outgoing and although he struggles a bit he works very hard. Both are good listeners and learned at a young age to sit still and pay attention. Both are polite. Both get along well with other children. I have gotten along with all of their teachers. Neither of my kids has ever been in trouble in school until just recently when my older son was caught reading a book in class during a lesson and had the book taken away for a D.. I made it clear to the teacher that I agreed with the punishment. I do not critisize the teachers in front of my kids. Anyway, I don't know how much of what my kids are like is due to the way I taught them to behave or socialized them, and how much is just their own personalities.

This was one of the most surprising things I discovered when I became an aide, there were a few kids that I simply did not like!
I was shocked, I mean, I thought I loved ALL children, but nope, there were some kids that just rubbed me the wrong way.
For me, parents really had nothing to do with it (though there were certainly parents I didn't like either) but as an aide I didn't have the direct relationship with parents the teachers had.
I think one of the worst, most annoying things parents can do is to react before having all the facts/information. You know the type, "I am livid because my child is being bullied and the teacher is doing nothing about it and I am going to get a lawyer and blah, blah, blah" all based on the one sided story of their child. THOSE kinds of parents just seem difficult and crazy and I'm sure it does affect their children negatively, even if it's as subtle as "oh I don't want that kid in my class his mom is a nut job." Sad :-(

Eh...sometimes you can't do anything about it. I have 4 kids. I have no doubt that three of them are students who are easy for their teachers to like. My oldest son (9th grade) would seem to be not a favorite because has ADHD and learning disabilities. He's handsome and charming. He's funny but not a class clown. Participates but doesn't dominate and distract. When he's in a class where the kids are wild, he feels sorry for the teacher and tries to get the other kids to settle down and show the teacher some respect. Teachers fall all over themselves to help him out. He has an accommodation plan but they go above and beyond to give him extra chances, extra credit, etc. His report card and progress report comments are along the lines of "needs to try harder, needs to organize himself, a joy to teach." My SD (9th grade) is an honors student who is easy to teach. She is polite, quiet, and a conscientious and diligent worker - what's not to like? My youngest son is so far an average student (1st grade). His comments are also universally positive - he's well behaved, kind to other kids, waits his turn, shares, helps out, and is just a nice little kid to be around.

Then there's my 8 year old. Oy. He's just obnoxious to the core. He's extremely bright, probably the best student of all of my kids, does great academically but is just stubborn, stubborn, stubborn. He was so awful in my Sunday school class a few years ago that I won't teach him again. Thinks he's hysterical, distracts other kids, doesn't stop talking, talks loudly, questions the teacher, etc. I feel sorry for anyone who has to teach him - he'll probably be a good kid to have in class in high school but in elementary school where teaching is already like herding monkeys, I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who has to spend 6 hours a D. with him in their class. He doesn't do anything that warrants discipline - he doesn't get in trouble - he just has a really difficult personality sometimes.

So that's a long way of saying...some kids are inherently more likeable in a group setting. Some are naturally charming despite having lousy work habits, some are quiet and hardworking, some bring positive energy to a class, etc. Then some kids are just more challenging. Certainly it's important to teach kids to be respectful, follow the rules, participate in class, etc. but I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not a teacher likes my child.

This is an interesting post. As a teacher, I implore you just to continue raising a lovely child, who can give and take, listen to others and say what she/he thinks, show respect for self, adults and other children... all to the best of your child's capacity.

I can honestly say that I never disrespected a child because their parents were overbearing. Or for that matter, even if parents were flat out nasty to me. In fact, those were the children that perhaps needed a little extra encouragement to expand their own personalities, which they sometimes repressed to be perfect at home. But your Dad is right about one thing. Teachers are human. We laugh, cry, feel anger, feel pride. And thank God for that.

I always paid on time when the teacher asked for fees. I always sent a holiday gift and I never approached the teacher about anything that my child said negative about her, I would redirect my child instead and say something like, "It seems that the teacher does not like it when students are late from the restroom huh--sounds like she takes it out on all of you--so tell your pals to get out in time from the restroom and make sure you do as well."

As a teacher, I was okay when students were energetic--I am a rare breed--I tend to prefer the rambunctious child over the studious one.

Teachers have divorces, have children out of wedlock, are overweight, have all of the human ailments things that all humans have, including revenge.

Momma11 you are spot on!

What happened? I don't really understand the SWH - are you upset with the 3 posts you have so far? (That's how many there were when I read your SWH.) I really am confused...what's the blank space mean? (I'm so confused that I don't even know that!) I do mean this in all honesty - I'm not trying to be smart aleck at all...

ETA after adding to your SWH: Thanks for the explanation. If you got bashing pm's, I don't know why. There's nothing wrong with your question.

I do agree with Renee that I don't know teachers who retaliate against kids they don't like. I've been a parent of 2 kids who are done and almost done with school, and I substitute teach and have done a lot of volunteer work in schools. Now, I do know teachers who have not been nice to kids, but a lot of it has to do with personality conflicts (which is not right of the teacher - they are supposed to be the adult...) However, I don't think this is the same as retaliation.

I do know that teachers talk to each other about overbearing parents. They also talk about the troubled students. However, that's not necessarily a bad thing. They talk about all this because a lot of figuring out how to make things work well in school, especially in elementary, is to pair the right teacher with students. Most schools really want to help both teachers AND students by doing their best to match them well.

If a teacher knows a parent is difficult, she will be careful about who she asks to be room parent, how much volunteering she allows from that parent in the classroom, etc. Sometimes a teacher actually works hard WITH the parent to try to turn that parent around - I've seen a little bit of that. Sometimes those difficult moms are actually darn good at doing certain things. Just like a good manager, they try to match a difficult parent personality with a "job' that the mom is good at, yet won't cause a lot of problems. (Creative thinking, really...)

I never gave teachers gifts in order to get them to like my kids. I gave gifts because I liked the teacher. I liked the teacher when she was understanding with my kids when they weren't perfect, when she was kind to all the class in general, and when I knew she was working hard. And most of my kids' teachers were like this.

I also sided with my teachers to my kids. If my kids did something they weren't supposed to do, I took the teacher's side in front of my kids because they are supposed to respect the teacher's rules. That doesn't mean that I always believed the teachers were right. I've had a couple that really upset me, but I didn't share that with my kids, and I treated the teachers, regardless, with respect as well.

I believe that most teachers teach because they care about kids. There are those who have taught too long and are jaded and tired and have bad attitudes. For those who don't fit THAT description, I really believe that if you are kind and understanding, try to help the teacher help your child, and expect your child to toe the line with the teacher, you will have success with them.

I never worried about the teacher "liking" my children. I cannot control that. I can't "make" my children likeable. I can't "make" the teacher like my children's personalities. All I can do is try to raise my kids right and expect them to try to do good work, and hope for the best overall.

I hope that your father-in-law didn't mean ALL teachers when he said that they retaliate. That would be really unfair to all of the teachers to paint them with the same brush.

D.

I was very active in our daughters schools. I am still very good friends with the teachers, even Principals. Our daughter has now graduated from college.. Last she and i actually attended an event where lots of her elementary and middle school teachers were involved.

Teachers love children. They love their students. Their goal is to have each child be a success. They want to be a partner with the parents. Teachers never stop learning and studying. They do not teach for the money.

I think what your FIL is saying.. there are very few teachers that may be so frustrated working with a child, because the child's parents do not allow or expect their child to do their best. To take responsibility for their own actions.. They undermine the teacher. The teacher will expect the child to follow the rules and to do their own work. This can be very frustrating, when a child knows the parents are questioning the teacher all of the time. A child can live up to expectations, if the parents will support the teacher.

Look at a classroom and wonder, why is everyone else is able to pay attention, do their work, keep their hands to them selves, arrive on time? But this one child is not expected by their parents to do this. Because they cannot control their child, they will not allow the teacher to control this child in the classroom either. Instead they think their child is being picked on..

I am in no way talking about children that have special needs. Teachers have been trained to deal with all types of needs and differences in children. They have on going training.

Trust your child's teacher. During the school year, they spend more awake time interacting and being around your children, than you do.. They see your child while the child is learning, interacting with all sorts of different people. They are trained to work with all types of needs.

it has been my experience that teachers devote so much time on their students that when you drive by schools after hours, you will see teachers cars.. While we are on Pinterest looking for recipes and entertainment, they would be looking for classroom ideas.

Go to one of their parties and they are excitedly speaking about figuring out why a child is struggling and their plan to help.

Be a PARTNER in your child's education. Listen to the experts. Make sure your child is rested, fed and knows you expect their best behaviors at school, and you will have a successful student.

Wow! I guess didn't know that teachers retaliate against parents they don't like using their students. How sad. And apparently everyone who has contributed to this post so far feels it is just what humans do because, remember teachers are human too. Well I am human and, no I am not a teacher but I work in the school system and have worked with children my entire career and have NEVER used a child to retaliate against or punish their parent. This is actually very disturbing and I am surprised that it is just considered "what people do." And I teach my children to be true to themselves while also being respectful and kind, not to suck up to their teachers so they will be a "student that teachers like."

What I hate though is when I hear of parents NOT confonting or questioning teachers or staff for fear of being 'that' parent. To me that is a far greater mistake. I am 'that'parent and I can assure you that my kids are well liked because they are simply put-not punks. They have not been raised to think that the world revolves around them. They have not been raised to believe that their own self esteem trumps all else and esp others feelings. They are kind and respectful. They are mild mannered and they are smart-they do their work and they contribute. TEachers like them in spite of me. And you know what-I will have to say that most teachers DO like me. I am interested and involved. My kids come to school prepared and ready. They know I am on their side.I am just not gong to let anything slide and I will question them if I need to and I won't back down. My kid's education is too important.

At the school I am at, there is a parent that is having their child track their teacher's bad moods. The mother told the student to do that b/c that would show when they are on the periods. Then the parent had the audacity to confront a teacher and say, "I realize you were on your period when the infraction happened with my child..."

That is an extreme example, but not far off from many of the parents of students throughout the schools I have worked.

Those of you that are offended that 'teachers are people too' - you are probably not the parent we are talking about, that's why you are offended.

Teacher's have no recourse toward a parent. We can be yelled at, called names, told we are bad parents(not a bad teacher, but bad parent), we can be threatened - and we can't do anything about it. But, if a teacher says the slightest thing that may even be remotely offensive to a parent - BAM, LAWSUIT!

Now, tell me - how would you react toward a person that treated you this way? I can guarantee you, Little Johnny is not going to be my favorite student nor will he get much attention from me except what is needed b/c I do not want to deal with the parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Respect
Listens to instructions
Puts forth best effort at tasks/homework/assignments
When having trouble, ask questions (raise hand) and ask for help
I've seldom met a teacher who did not appreciate any student who could do the above.
Not every teacher is going to necessarily be a good teacher or a good fit for your child.
Think about it - did you love every teacher you ever had? Or did you have a few doozies that you were glad to finally escape from their class?
My son's first grade teacher was a piece of work.
It was private school, she was a personal friend of the principal and she taught first grade for one year (kindergarten was her regular class) because she wanted to teach the principals son one more year.
This was very frustrating for my son.
She'd ask a question, my son would raise his hand and answer (after being picked), and she would not accept it, then she'd pick the principals son who'd give the exact same answer and THEN she'd accept it.
Her method for handling subjects the class did not understand was to repeat the same lesson again louder - she could not teach how to alphabetize to my son.
So I sat down with him and showed him how I would do it and he picked it up immediately.
She was out of her depth and her favoritism was blatant.
In that school there was no other first grade class, but my son stuck it out.
If that was the only teacher he ever got that was awful, at least he got it over with early.
He had a FANTASTIC teacher for 2nd grade (same school) and they clicked so well - kindred spirits - (without him being a teachers pet) it did us all a lot of good to see what a wonderful year he had.
He's had some really wonderful teachers since then and a few which were ok but not favorites of my son - but overall his teachers go out of their way to tell me what a great student he is and they enjoy having him in their class.
He still has high school ahead of him, but we're off to a good start.

People are people and they like who they like, adult and child alike. One would hope that an adult can work to be as fair as possible with kids, but honestly, there are some kids out there that come off like jerks and it's probably work to manage that feeling to figure out the WHY of the jerkiness and turn it around.

I would also guess that if a parent is positively engaged, that might help. If they are non-involved, then maybe that doesn't influence. But if you are the parent that thinks your child is a do-no-wrong-precious-snowflake, then that would backfire.

NO ONE is perfect - parent, teacher or child. I know my child -he's 5, he's not a mean kid, but was pushing at school. I listened to the teacher and believed her, and I listened to my son and believed him - and I corrected him and his behavior. They were both right - he was trying to "make" another kid get in his spot in line - doing the teacher's "job". I worked with the teacher to figure out what was going on, and helped him understand his place in the class. He's on the spectrum (high end), so he's not an "easy" kid, but he's made great strides and the teacher enjoys him because she understands, and she knows I won't ignore challenges she/he are having.

Good question!

I just make sure to teach my daughter to say please and thank you, and to teach her empathy and if you are kind sweet and loving to your child, he or she will learn those behaviors and be the same. Right now we are working on discipline, which is really hard with her, but I just got her into Karate and Dance so hopefully that will help. She's starting pre-school in a few weeks, so we will see. I hope her teacher loves her to death!

You've already had a wide variety of responses, so I'm not sure if my experience will help. I was very involved with my children's school when they were young (Primary School), but as they got older I stopped volunteering as much. I always made a point of attending parent-teacher meetings, though.

My son is 20 and is working as a Web Developer now. He's "gifted" but never bothered to study anything which wasn't IT related. He is a very introverted and quiet young man with 3 good friends. He didn't even have a date for Prom! Despite only doing the bare minimum to pass all his subjects (except IT in which he excelled) he was always well-liked by his teachers.

My daughter is in her second-last year of High School. She's the opposite of her brother and works really hard to achieve the best marks possible. She's loud, extroverted, fun & creative and has a very large number of friends of both sexes. She's also very involved in many extra-mural activities (my son wasn't). She's well-liked by her teachers.

Since the only thing my children have in common is that they were raised to be respectful and polite, I guess that's all you really need for "success" in school! :)

The most impressive child to me as a teacher is a polite, respectful child. That does not mean a child who misbehaves. A child who tests the waters, and acts out on occasion is the norm to me, I have a preschool and deal with behaviors all D. long. I expect children to not listen at times, I feel like that is our job to guide them and teach them right from wrong. However, when I deal with a child who walks right past me, and I say good morning and they do not even look my way and their mother says sorry they are in a bad mood, or they don't feel like talking, that makes me crazy. Or there is no please or thank you!! Also a no no! I think as parents we have to instill respect in our children. If a child is shy and doesn't know someone that of course is different, but coming to school each D. and walking past the principal, or teachers is wrong to me. So in answer to your question what do teachers like, I can speak for myself and say a respectful child with manners.

All teachers are different, so you're bound to have one that doesn't like your kid. But, if you raise your kid to be polite, compassionate and respectful - you're definitely going in the right direction. If you can instill in them the desire to learn more and to work for it, they will get even further. Teach your child independence so that you don't always have to speak for them. I think teachers appreciate parental support, but not interference. Be present, show up for functions, volunteer some, make sure the teacher knows who you are and that you are there supporting your kid.
My oldest is pretty easy to like. Basically a poster child for the perfect child. And, yet, her first grade teacher hated her. It was a horrible year. After that, it was fine. Until high school, and then there were a few that took issue with her for various reasons. And when I say various I mean it. One was hispanic and seriously picked on my blonde white daughter endlessly!
My son, has ADHD, and can be harder to deal with. But, for the most part, he has a heart of gold and a winning smile and most teachers fell in love with him. Except his 5th grade teacher. She hated him. Mostly because she was old and had little patience. Thankfully she has since retired. And in jr hi, some teachers hated him and some loved him. Bless the teacher who brought squishy balls to school and gave them to him to fidget with quietly in class.
My youngest daughter is a wonderful student in 5th grade. The teachers all adore her. Except in 3rd grade. That teacher hated her for some reason. It's a mystery.
So, see? You just never know.
As your FIL said, teachers may indeed retaliate, but they can also play favorites and pull favors for those they like.
When my son was in 4th grade, without thinking, he went to school with one of those tiny Cross pocket knives in his pocket. He told someone who told the teacher. Weapons are prohibited and is an immediate expulsion. Fortunately, the asst principal used to be my older daughters teacher. So she knew us. She knew my son. She knew that he was a good kid with a good heart and would never hurt anyone. She believed him when he said he forgot it was in his pocket. So she put her neck on the line with the district and waived the expulsion and gave him a 3-D. suspension. This is why I say get to know them!!!!
You've got a long way to go, so just focus on raising a great kid!

Oh gosh, I never even thought about that... or how to make my child a child that Teachers like.
Why bother.
I mean, EVERY single Teacher, is different, as well as the dynamics of their class. You can't predict the Teacher's response to everything nor can you make, your child into what the Teacher will like.
It is capricious.

Sure, SOME Teachers, "retaliate" against kids who has parents that the Teacher does not like. But not all Teachers do that. They realize, that a child is a child, they are not their parents.

My friend however, has a son, who's Teacher used to pick on him and favored other kids. It was blatant. Her son was not any worse or better than other kids. That Teacher just did not like him, personally. Her son really got stressed and nervous and anxious in class. Long story short, they complained about it to the Teacher and the Principal, they had documented everything etc. And she got her son put into a different class with a different Teacher. And her son, is much happier.

But not all Teachers are like that. Many Teachers, even if they do not like a particular parent or child, they STILL act professionally and do not treat that child/parent any different.

The best thing your child can do is behave and have a good attitude. I tell you this from first hand experience. My son spent his middle school (he was in a magnet school that went from 4th to 12th grade) years fighting and flunking. At best he did nothing in his classes. At worse he was disruptive. His teachers didn't like him. The school administrators didn't like him. They suggested that some other school might be better for him after he was put on a year long probabtion for fighting. He is gifted but he didn't care about anything and loved fighting.

In 9th grade he discovered football. He tried to improve but by then his reputation had preceded him. It got so that if he was in the general vicinity of a problem he got into trouble. I told him it wasn't fair but he'd earned it.

He changed schools for 10th grade for a school with a good football program. He made a conscious effort to change. No more fights. His grades improved some. His teachers and coaches love him. In one class that he was failing the teacher held him up as an example of how to behave regardless of his grade.

This semester he is in the continuation high school across the street to make up some of his poor grades. He will transfer back to his HS in the fall as a senior. He has the potential for a football scholarship (which is why he's making up his grades) and everyone wants him to succeed. His teachers, coaches, and counselors support him. He goes back to his HS every afternoon to work out with the football team and is one of the football team captains. He tries to set an example for the younger players.

In an interesting twist, yesterday afternoon after school he witnessed a fight. After one kid lost he bumped into my son (the biggest kid present and a foot taller than the kid) and told him to get out of his way or he'd knock him down. My son told him to back off or he'd knock him out. The coaches broke it up and one approached my son. He told him we want you here but be careful. If there was a fight and the police were called my son could get arrested for trespassing. They didn't want that.

What a difference an attitude makes.......... from one school that couldn't wait to get rid of him to another that loves and protects him. The only thing that changed was my son.