Boys vs Girls--what's Your Story?

Updated on May 04, 2013
H.M. asks from Columbia, MO
30 answers

Does anyone have a son who was a much easier baby/toddler/kid than his older sister? I keep hearing how crazy boys are and I need to hear anecdotal evidence to the contrary! :)

Thanks!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

It's not really boys vs girls, it's all about personality and temperament.

I have one girl and two boys. My girl has always been a handful, while my first boy was and is very laid back and easy. My second boy has been more of a handful than my daughter.

If they were all like my middle child, I'd have a bunch more!

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i don't have any girls to which to compare them (5 brothers, 2 sons) but from what i see with friends, my boys were awfully easy. i think it's more of an individual thing than a gender thing, though. i've got friends with boys who were nightmares. but good golly miss molly, some girls can be high maintenance!
:) khairete
S.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I have a girl.
I also have a boy. My son is the younger one.
They are just different.
Phases of being easy or difficult, ebbs and flows.
It varies and per age and per development.
Then there are Husbands.
Need I say more?

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son is and always has been the easiest child for me. He is super laid back, doesn't really have strong opinions on anything, just happy to be along for the ride. Never got into much trouble. Also keeps his room the cleanest of the bunch. Even as a baby, he was just happy and easy. My girls were fussier babies and have such very different personalities. Heck, my youngest daughter is into superheroes, building, fixing things, and eschews anything "pretty" (of course older daughter is the opposite!)

I think you do not need to worry. Babies all have such different personalities and it really does not matter if they are male or female. You just have no idea what you are going to get, who they are going to be. I think that is the exciting part, though! Take a deep breath. Maybe right now would be a good time to read a few books like "happiest baby on the block" etc, to maybe help you feel more prepared?

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Both my boys were nightmares as small children but as teens, sooooooo much easier than the girls!!!

I never felt baby boarding school was in order but god knows how many times I inquired whether my older daughter's high school could start boarding!! My god I enjoyed packing her for college!! and she is the good kid! :p
_____________
Oh I don't want you to think my girls are just awful drama queens. Nah, it is just you will never see a teen boy start crying he has no friends, or his hips are big, his boobs too small...... All that stuff that as an adult you realize is trivial but to a teen girl is the end of the world!!

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

All kids are individuals. My daughter was my easiest -- it's just her personality.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Boys and girls are different. Each child born into a family is different. Different temperments, different challenges, different brain chemistry, etc.

Boys are wonderful and girls are wonderful. The problems come in when your energy level and expectations as the parent don't line up with the kid you have. The best thing to do is to learn the kid and learn what works for them in learning how to grow them into responsible, kind, generous, productive adults in society.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

A friend I worked with years ago had a son first - and he was a very easy going child.
A few years later they had a daughter - who was just very high maintenance.
She often said if her daughter had been their first child there never would have been a second.
Of course they love them both but it just goes to show - you never know what you are going to get.
Personalities between siblings (gender doesn't matter) can be so very different and sometimes they can be completely incompatible.
My sister and I have never and will never get along.

2 moms found this helpful

D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

When my son was young he was much easier than any of my daughters. If all my kids would have been that easy I could have handled ten. My girls were more rambunctious than my boy. He was so calm that I had to go get his hearing checked several times. Nothing rattled him.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

All 3 of my kids were SUPER easy and awesome babies. My daughter didn't give me an ounce of trouble until she was 4, and then it was age appropriate troubles.

Both of my son's did two REALLY well. The older one came out of it after a year and the younger one has started to calm down in the last year or so...he just turned 6. So he really didn't take a break for 3. We'll say he did 2, 3, 4, and part of 5 really well!!

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

my daughter is laid back and very easy (most times) but she is 6 and i have a feeling thats going to change in a huge way over the next few years.
she's a sensitive 6 year old so I can only imagine the dramatics that will unfold as she grows up

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Boys are much easier to raise! No drama!

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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

My one boy is way easier, kinder, sweeter, more helpful than any of my 3 girls. It's a myth that boys are harder than girls.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my girl was a horrible baby colicky reflux cried cried cried.. she never slept well at night.. she hated nursing didn't care for baby food. and then had a hard time transitioning to table food.. right around 3 she got soo much better she is happy and pleasant and likes everything.. I have no problems with her.

my boy was the worlds best baby..he ate and slept well.. liked everyone ate all types of baby food.. lliked table food. then he learned to crawl and walk.. and run.. he is busy and bossy and ornery.. he is my challenge..

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Well, I think my son might have been "easier" if we had the benefit of having a child previous to him. He was our first, so there was a steep learning curve. Ha ha!

But, my son was never crazy. He took a lot more of my attention span... like FULL attention all the time. My daughter was more content to observe a lot of things. Son was totally hands on. (and on everything). He was also a climber. And walked early. And didn't like to be held when he could walk. And didn't want to sit in my lap when he could stand on his own elsewhere. Or crawl on the floor instead.
My daughter was more content to sit in my lap and read books or take in the adult interaction around her, than to be constantly fighting to get down and explore on her own.

But, you probably also know that things supposedly reverse as they age, right? Daughters get hormonal and moody and blah blah blah... boys mellow out and are easier during the teen years... etc etc etc.

My daughter is almost 12, and so far, no signs of catty behavior with her friends or any of the drama that I've heard so much about. Only time will tell if she will stay this way or be 100x more difficult as she goes through her teen years. My son is almost 15, and is sensitive and sweet (most of the time). Gives me bear hugs at bed time. Is quiet around the house. Helpful. And growing in maturity and the level of responsibility he takes for himself.

Kids are all different. Don't go into things with a preconceived notion that a little boy will disrupt things and drive you crazy. I know a few moms who have daughters that fit that bill just fine as toddlers and tweens. No boys needed.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

It really depends on the child's temperament.

I have nannied for some mellow girls and some super high maintenance ones. I have also taken care of some very neat, cool boys and some which drove me bonkers. (Equal bonkers to the super high maintenance girls, btw.)

I now have a boy and am super happy with this Kiddo. He is more mellow than some of the girls, more active than some of the boys... in short, he is who he is.

Enjoy your little guy. It's all about temperament and personality, and far less about gender. Learned this plenty in the years teaching preschool and caring for other people's children. :)

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

No, the opposite. The woman who ran the baby classes for 30 years where I lived said my son was maybe the hardest baby she had ever seen. He was a hard toddler and he is quite the challenging school aged child. I know that's not what you are looking for. My daughter is more like a normal kid...but she seems so darn easy to me!

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S.H.

answers from Salinas on

My son is older (he is 6 and my daughter is 3). My son is SO much easier. He really does what ever I say and it is no big deal. I can pick out his outfit and I can find activities that fit with my schedule and he is happy to do them. He does his homework when i ask (yes, he is in kindergarten so i am sitting with him).

My daughter wants to do the opposite of my suggestion (food, clothes activities). She is a lot more independent. I also think I was able to be late when dealing with my son, so I didn't feel as rushed. Now i have to take my son to school on time therefore my daughter needs to be up and in the car on time (my son could be late for daycare so when he didn't want to get in the carseat or whatever we got to be more relaxed). I try to think of this when I get annoyed with my daughter's 'game' and remember he big brother may have had more fits if he was force to be ready.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

First child,boy,was a bit more difficult for us than our next two kiddos.

I think this was the case because we had no idea what in the heck we were doing with our first.

The next two were easier because we learned to relax, keep on a schedule, pick our battles, use positive discipline methods and learned to laugh off the bad days and try better the next day.

Each child is so different in their temperament and desire to push limits and challenge you.

I think parents have a responsibility to help their boys with their "crazy" behaviors. They need outlets to get the wiggles,frustration and impulsiveness out. They need to learn how to talk about how they feel instead of being stifled and told to "man up" or "don't act like a girl" or "boys don't cry". I am not saying this is what you'd do...but alot of boys are crushed emotionally when under this expectation and tend to act out to mask their insecurities,sadness and frustrations.

We got our oldest son into drum lessons which helped channel his energy,passion for music, impulsiveness and it helped calm his brain that is always going 100mph. It helped him take direction audibly then act upon it physically. Sports and activities help them learn that other people like coaches,music conductors and event coordinators have rules you must follow.

Our two boys are very well behaved and teachers mention this in parent teacher conferences. Coaches adore them and praise us as their parents. But we know it is not just us...it has taken a buttload of adults to help mold these kids.

I could go on and on about our daughter's great qualities but you asked about boys.

I really would love to have a household full of sons. I love having boys!!

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

It's not a matter of boys versus girls but personality versus personality since children are individuals and so are the parents.

That said, I've always been extremely grateful that I have three girls and never had a boy.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son was SOOOO much easier than his younger sister is. He listened really well, was pretty calm, and was never aggressive. My daughter, who just turned 2.5 is very big on telling me "no" and defying me when I ask her to do something. She also hits, bites, scratches, pulls hair, etc whenever my son (almost 6) does something she doesn't like. She's grabbier with toys, too.

I don't mean to say my daughter is a terror - she's usually pretty good, but she does have her moments. And she's definitely a harder toddler than my son ever was.

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T.Q.

answers from Albany on

I don't think one is easier than the other... just different. All of mine were really easy babies... my oldest daughter slept through the night by 3 months and the younger two by 6 weeks. All were happy and easygoing for the most part.... then they became toddlers! My youngest and oldest are girls, and were easier toddlers than my son... my son was probably the easiest as a baby. Now my son (who is 5) is still the most impulsive, distracted and aggressive and does not take "no" lightly-though he usually gets over his tantrums quickly. The girls (7 and almost 2) definitely are more stubborn, emotional and full of attitude- their tantrums/emotions can linger for a long time.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Yes. One is easier than the other in completely different ways though...

My daughter was easier than my son until about 4 1/2 and then everything that I had heard (but never seen) of the terrible twos and threes came at us in full force. The testing, the sass... all of it. Now at age 9, she is still more difficult in some ways. She still pushes it much more than my son does.

My son is a super busy and super sensitive kid. At first glance he seems like an outgoing kid that can just let stuff roll off, but he isn't. He is outgoing and always has friends around, but he had a hard time with rough "boy" play (good guys bad guys, monsters etc..). And when he gets sad it shows as anger and people don't always understand that. My daughter crumbles and can be consoled easily, but not my son.

Now at age 7, my son is easy going... much more than my daughter. He goes with the flow much more and is more willing to try new things than she is. And the girl drama... ughh. It starts early. Boys don't really do the drama.

Good luck~ Every kid is different. Enjoy them! :)

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

ME! My son is easy going, compliant, very rarely has meltdowns or argues about anything. He was a much easier infant too - happy most of the time as long as he was fed. :)

My daughter is STRONG WILLED, 10 going on 25, likes to get the last word, argues that the sky is pink, defies authority (mine, at school she is fine), negotiates everything, and is filled with drama! She was a difficult baby until about 7 months old. She cried all the time, but I have to chalk that up to she got held constantly as an infant, and was spoiled. My husband held her while trying to eat dinner and cut a steak. It was ridiculous... We learned what NOT to do with our son. :)

Girls are fun to dress and do girlie things with. Boys are more rough & tough, and give you heart attacks constantly with their daredevil abilities. I swear boys take years off your life, but my girl makes me want a straight jacket and an asylum on most days. So I guess there you have it.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

Nope. my son is sooooo easy. My daughter? She is super rough and rowdy and super crazy.....

Even his worst twos were nothing compared to hers, and now, as we enter the terrible threes, he is still super easy to calm down. She;'d throw hour long tantrums. My son? He calms down quickly and always apologizes! It's super cute!

he slept 7.5 hours at 5 weeks, she slept 7.5 hours at 12 months! I could go on...he actually listens, she rarely listens....He never uses his hands to eat food, she always does. He puts away his toys, she won't unless forced. You get the idea.....

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter was SO easy when she was a baby. Once she hit 2 years old, it's like a monster came out. She is 8 now and she is so very strong willed and emotional (she does have her sweet moments), but she is tough! My son is 5 and he has always been the sweetest little monkey! He loves to snuggle and he is happy just playing outside or playing legos or reading books. I love them both like crazy, but my daughter is more independant and stubborn and my son is more sweet and lovey.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I had my son first and he was far more high maintenance than my daughter as a youngster. As he got older he got easier and easier. My daughter has always been easy, but I don't tolerate any drama or princess like behavior.

I've watched many families and found that those families who have girls first and then boys have the "second child - first son syndrome". The girls are expected to be the best, do the best, and care for the younger brother. The younger boy is spoiled, can do little wrong, and aren't held to the same expectations as the daughter. You can disagree, but I can point to family after family where this is the case. It's not a judgement, just an observation.

LBC

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Not baby/toddler, but my SS was a much better teenager than his younger sister. So far, DD seems more like SD than SS.

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i have a boy and i'm biased - but i will tell you my son was EASY up until school age (we are dealing with adhd so that is not typical). baby/toddlerhood was A BREEZE. my niece was much more defiant, moody, and tantrum-prone.

but i also firmly believe that was the differences in parenting styles coming out. so there you go.

each kid is different. until puberty, it's really more about temperament and parenting, rather than gender. once puberty hits...from what i hear...give me a boy any day!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My first was a boy--of course he was followed in minutes by his sisters. He was not a risk taker at all. My girls..one very much so and the other a bit more mellow. But they were easier than my next. Even now they are like that. My next girl drives us nuts. sometimes I would love to take away some of her energy and use it myself. My little one is a boy and he is the opposite of my older son. He is all over the place but in a good way.

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