Possible to Have Two Good Babies in a Row?

J.,

Don't listen to insensitive people. All babies are blessings and it is completely possible to have two "good" babies in a row. There is no such thing as a "bad" baby-- they are wonderful and special for their own unique personalities. Happy baby making :)

Molly

My babies were both good! They are, however, completely different in likes, dislikes; what made one feel cozy made the second angry! First baby didn't like lullabies, second one likes a song at night time. My second is stronger willed, but she is NOT a nightmare! :-)

Hi there,
We have 2 girls, 17 months apart. The second one was unexpected but they are now 1 and a little over two and things are getting easier. The girls were both good babies. Good eaters, sleepers, and now are really good playmates. I really feel the whole eating and sleeping things are up to the parents as we teach them how to eat and sleep, so having two good babies might just be in the cards if you parent right, limit feedings in the middle of the night and teach them to nap and sleep. Go for it, I say.....

I think I'd be tempted to ask those people to show me their degree that makes them an expert in the subject! LOL! No one knows what the temperment of a baby is going to be in advance, but it is possible to have a dozen even tempered children. (not that I'm suggesting you have that many, of course!) I suppose people think they are doing parents a favor by reminding them that not all babies are alike, and you could - of course - have a second child who would not have as good a temperment as the first one. But, whatever the child's temperment is, you'll love it as much. You'd just have to learn to parent that child according to its needs as you are parenting your first child according to his needs. Sometimes it's a "Vive la Difference" situation as children tend to just 'grow' on you and enjoying them for whoever they are is the main joy of parenting.

J., Congratulations on your wonderful baby! That is so fabulous that your introduction into motherhood has been so beautiful. I can't say the same for myself. While I was enraptured by my first angelic infant daughter, I was wracked with pain for her when her colic and digestion symptoms started showing up. In short, the first year really was hard to manage. She's 14 now and I wouldn't change a thing about her...even the pain I went through with her that first year. This being said: Do NOT let the naysayers fill you with dread about having a 'difficult' baby. You could very conceivably have two 'easy' babies, I know many for whom this has been a reality. My second daughter was 'easy' as an infant but has been more of a challenge between the ages of 1 year and 11 years. So, go figure. J., I advise you to keep the big picture in perspective. The possibility does exist that you will have a 'difficult' baby. That is a reality. No amount of thinking about it, or mindset about it will determine whether or not you will actually have another 'easy' one. If you take the risk to become a parent a second time, no doubt, you will encounter some kind of challenge, even if it isn't in the infant stage. That is truly the defining characteristic of being a parent: challenge. You will have them, no doubt, during the ensuing years as a mom with your first child. It just goes with the territory. This is not to be negative! Challenge, though painful, is really a good thing. Without them, we would never grow. Without them, I wouldn't be writing you this message. Mammasource is a great avenue for relating to people who really 'get' that to stay engaged in the midst of parenting struggles is what keeps us healthy, happy, and productive as parents. It is not in avoiding struggles that we realize happiness--as I am sure you are well aware. Don't let all of those commments spook you and get you off track. You know what you and your husband are being led to do. That's the important thing. Wishing you the best, K.

Don't be disccouraged! I didn't have two easy babies in a row, I had my nightmare first, which should have been good enough birth control..LOL! My second child was sooo easy, slept well, ate well and everything else! Just remember children are just little people each with thier own personality, so honestly you never know! But be blessed with the one you have and know that if the other one isn't as good amd mild mannered at least you have one that is and not two hard children!!! GOOD LUCK!!

Yes! I have two very sweet little girls that are 14 months apart. They are such good kids. My oldest has a very loving personality, takes care of everyone, and shares everything. I think my youngest follows her direction. Your next child will be the way YOU raise them to be.

LOL. This is a funny question. You CAN have two "good" babies, but they don't stay good!

Hi J.,

Yes it is. I cannot even imagine what other people are thinking when they mindlessly blurt out meanness. I have two kids; a son and daughter. They are both different and unique individuals, they both bicker and argue relentlessly, they stick up for each other and stick together, they bully each other and hug each other, and neither of them would have it any other way.

It's important to be sensitive to the first child when the next child comes. It's important to prepare the child adequately for the new person who will be arriving should you become pregnant again and that's the best advice I can give you besides this; take what others are saying with a grain of salt and stay positive :).

Truly,
M.

Hi J.,
My first girl who will be turning 3 this month was a dream as well. Good sleeper... good eater. And I too was told... "Oh just wait until your next one." I refused to accept that I couldn't have another good baby. My second girl just turned 2 months and she's just as good as my first... if not better. Don't listen to those negative comments. You can easily have another wonderful baby!

I was going to say YES....and then I thought.....you get who you get. Nature versus nurture.....hmmmmmm Your pals are not trying to discourage you. Some of us are just more honest about parenting than others. I recommend having a second child sooner or later. It's a good idea for many reasons. When you get elderly the care giving burden can be shared.....instead of being all on one grown child(That happened with my husband). It is great though because now his mom lives with us(Hey a live in Grand mom!)

Hi J.,

Both my babies were quite easy. My daughter was first, and she was so easy, and was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks....no colic....had a great appetite....was great at taking naps...etc etc etc. I heard the same thing from several people...that the second would be a nightmare...and even started making the same comment myself when I got pregnant with my second, since I heard it so much. "Oh man, this next baby is not gonna be as easy!" Well, rest assured, my second was just as easy (a boy). They are almost exactly 2 years apart, and since my daughter was such an easy baby, and toddler, she made things SO much easier taking care of my son (she was such a good helper, and never showed signs of jealousy). Both kids are now still quite mellow, happy, pleasant, fun-loving kids, and we haven't had any sibling rivalry issues at all. They are now 5 and 7 years old, and we just separated them into their own rooms about 6 months ago...our choice, not theirs! They still play together in each others' rooms and are a joy to be around.

Sorry to go on and on about them...but just wanted to ease your mind about having another easy baby. It is possible!!!

Hi J.,

I have two girls, 5 years and 17 months. My first one was the easiest baby, she started sleeping 10 hours a night at 2 months old. She was very easy going and has the funniest personality. She turned 4 right after we had her sister. Who happens to be even easier than she was. It amazes me to see that she is even more easy going and funnier than her sister. So I do believe that you can have two good babies in a row. We are even thinking about having a third becasue they have been such a joy to have and we would like to try for a boy! I would suggest having them a few years apart. My 5 year old loves to help and take care of her sister which is a great help to us.

I had similar worries when I was pregnant with our second. However, I was lucky enough to receive more positive opinions than you have experienced.
Well, our first started off as a textbook baby with the sweetest personality and was the best sleeper we could ask for. He is now two, more wonderful than ever, an adventurous eater, and is still a dream sleeper.
Our 2 mo daughter is a natural "chowhound", has an angelic personality, and is a great sleeper thus far.

Every baby and parenting style is different. Since you had a lot to do with how great your first is, take heart that you will bring out the best in your next one as well.

HTH

Of course it's possible! People who are telling you that are looking for company for their misery - I bet they have children who were a bit difficult. don't worry. But don't expect your second child to be "just like" the first. The second child is a person who will have an individual personality. Embrace it whatever it is!

Of course!Keep in mind, though, that some people say that a baby who is difficult is an early sign of intelligence. You have some great comments here, but I just want to add that I hope you don't become as smug and rude as some of the women here. Calm babies are not just the result of a calm mother. That is so hurtful to mothers who happen to have babies with colic or have fussy babies. Just because a baby is fussy doesn't imply there is anything wrong with the mother's parenting style- and to support that is to promote anxiety and depression in women who are already dealing with a tough issue. I can't believe these women would support that stereotype that a baby's personality is solely the result of the mother's personality. So immature and ignorant. Please do not spread this type of hurt. Good luck and I hope you luck out- or maybe the luck is for a tempermental baby that will be a leader in world change. . .

I don't think the people who are saying this to you are trying to be insensitive. And I don't believe that anyone thinks of any of their babies as "bad." I was told the same thing when I was pregnant with baby number 2. My first one was easy as can be, and great. My second was not as independant, let's say, but once I figured that he had different needs (he is very schedule oriented, etc where my other child was not) then it made it a whole lot easier. I don't think I had one good baby and one bad baby, I think it just take some figuring out what each one needs. I just think some people phrase it badly sometimes. Hopefully this helps. I know it's tough to hear when people sound almost discouraging about you having another one, but it's just like all the other old wives tales you hear...I'd just try to take in in stride, and focus on you. =o)

I just have to say that I totally understand what you mean! My daughter has been relatively easy and everyone keeps telling us to just wait that our next one will be so hard. Shes one now and we're debating when to have our next one (probably sooner then later), but I hate hearing people constantly saying that! Every child has their challenges, its how you deal with them and I think a positive mind is better. I think people just like to scare you. I only have one now, but I believe you can have two easy babies...my parents said my sister and I were both easy...thanks for writing about this...you hear this topic so often! Glad to hear that someone else thinks like us....:) Everything is possible!

Hi J.,
Sure, it's possible! I got my nightmare baby out of the way first, and then did a little research on how to make the second time go better. You probably discovered this with your first, but for me anyway, getting my second baby on a good eat/play/sleep schedule right off the bat made my second baby's babyhood so wonderful! Where my older daughter had been cranky, not a good sleeper, and me a sleep-deprived wreck, my younger one was happy, cheerful, and slept through the night within the first few weeks! She was a dream until she hit the terrible two's (and now that she's made it past that, she's back to her adorable, happy self). (By the way, my older daughter, who was a disaster as a baby, is now a delightful and charming child.) So... in my opinion, YES, it's possible to have two great kids in a row! Granted, each child is different, and you can bet that if you have a second, he or she will be totally different from your son!

I have two good babies... Why can't u? They are both sleepy heads, eat well, & are a joy to be around. Sure my son is a bit more work than my daughter was however he is still a good baby! It's all about finding the routine that fits the child and teaching them to follow it. Somedays are smoother than others but that's what being a mom is all about. Teach them to be the way you'd want them to behave and all will fall into place. Sometimes people say annoying things to be funny not realizing it's bothersome. They may say these comments just to follow the conversation as a light haha one and u may be taking it the wrong way. Just say to them... I'm a good mom so that will equal two great babies! It will I promise ;)

*****Just got a funky email from someone re: my response. Wasn't trying to offend anyone. Really wasn't trying to offend. I think this person thought I was speaking to her. Who knows. My only point was that you can have another "good" baby. At the end of the day, you are going to love your baby no matter what. Good and bad are relative. Some are clearly more work than others. I don't think people were trying to be insensitive to the moms of fussy and colicky babies. And, for the record, my baby who sleeps through the night will only fall asleep in my arms, is not on a set schedule, and cries if he can't see your face. He is still a "good" baby. I'm sure I am breaking some rules there. Who cares? I'm not a perfect mom, don't want to be either. However, I will toot my horn and say I am a good mom, to two great kids. Sorry about that add-on, but I was surprised by that email******

YES!!!!! Everyone told me that magic wouldn't strike twice, but I swear it has! My first was the most chilled out happy baby ever. She slept through the night at 3 mos. old, never cried, would go to anybody and had no issues. She was also a preemie born 7 wks. early. I must admit she is a handful as a 2 y.o. toddler, but even that I love. She is fiercely independent and confident in most situations. My MIL all but guaranteed that I would not be so lucky.(So did a lot of people)
Guess what? My 2nd-easy baby. Granted he does cry and fuss a little bit more, and wants to have more face time with anyone but I chalk that to having a boy. He was also a 7 wk. early preemie. He is 4 mos. old and has been sleeping through the night since 3 mos. old. There is no jealousy from my older one. She is in love with her brother.
It all comes back down to you. You set the tone and the pace. How you are is how your kids will be. No doubt you are an easy and relaxed mom, which translates to your baby. With my son I am dealing with a toddler so I undoubtedly am a little more stressed (having 2 is just a lot of work), but my mothering is the same.
Have your next baby and be confident. It will be fine. Good luck!

Hi J.,
Put your fears at rest-- my older son was a dream baby, too-- good sleeper, good eater, very sweet tempered, and if anything my second son is even easier! Here's a funny story, though-- when I was pregnant with #2, my OB said, 'You know, after any easy baby, people often have a tough one'. When I reported that baby 2 was even easier she said, 'Well, you know, laid back people like you and your husband usually have laid back babies.' I think that's more true, really.

It is possible. My first two babies were only 13 months apart and they were both excellent babies. They slept through the night and were happy and content. I have since had a third child and have again been blessed with a good baby. My children are now 4, 3 and 8 months. Don't let people discourge you with these thoughts. All children are a blessing and again it is possible to have multpile "good" babies.

the same thing is happening to us! we have such a good easy baby, she is sweet, mild manner etc. everyone, even strangers tell us, "you know, your next baby will be a nightmare". until one day, i was at a party and told a group of gals how everyone keeps saying my next baby will be bad! this great lady said, "don't listen to them, they are jealous they had a tough baby. both of mine were easy and yours can be too. just keep telling your baby that". so now (i'm 34 weeks pregnant) i tell my baby he will be a good baby and sleep and eat and be just like his big sister. when i hear "your 2nd will be tough" i tell them, "no, i've already told him he will be good". :) good luck!

Hi J.,
I've had 3 amazing babies! All of them great sleepers, easy-going (I'm not a "scheduler) and fun to be around, even as toddlers and now older ones. Don't get discouraged! Happy homes make happy babies!
Best wishes, H.

Absolutely. You will be just fine. You're obviously doing something right with this one. Your next may have a different temperament and throw you a learning curve but God will not give you anything you can't handle. Challenges maybe, but nothing you can't handle.

Also it is possible to have a "dream" baby then a "nightmare" baby next who will then grow up to be a rebellious teen and a sweet helpful respectful teen. No two snowflakes are alike - why should any 2 family or child be alike either?!

We went through the EXACT same thing, with everyone telling us there was no way we were going to get so lucky with our second, that we were totally in for it, etc. So what happened? If anything, our second is perhaps even easier than our first. Totally mellow, sleeps 8-11 hours a night at 4 months, good natured and happy. Is it still early (5 months) and could it still go totally south? Absolutely. But for now, our friends cite us as proof that the "first one good, second one tyrant" rule doesn't necessarily hold.

Yes you can I had two wonderful children they started sleeping thought the night at 1 month old and were good eaters, real mellow mannered. One was a boy, one was a girl. I was told the very same thing from every one too. now I have my first grandchild and she is the every same. Sleeps all night since she was 1 month old, eats well so much fun to be around. Family and friends always comment on how she never gets fussy! this is what I was told by someone "you must be a very good mom to have such a wonder child." I also loved being a mom and didn't let the little things get to me. So I must say "You must be a very good mother to have such a wonderful child" enjoy being a mother it's gods greatest gift! Being a grandmother is even more rewarding!! Enjoy!!

YES! I have two boys, and they were both "good" babies. They are very different, and I was a different mom the second time around, but it is possible to have two good ones.

YES, it is absolutely possible! Don't be discouraged by people who say stupid things. Children bring many challenges and unlimited gifts and happiness. Thye are different people, no question, but each child has his or her own gifts and is a wonderful addition to a family. Go for it!

My husband and I just had our second baby (he is now two months old). Our daughter is 20 months and was a dream baby. Everyone loved (and still loves) being around her because of her easy-going personality and her winning smile. She was so sweet that people also told us that our next baby was bound to seem a disappointment. Ouch! :) Anyway, with the birth of our son we realized we had struck gold twice- he's starting to smile and is captivating all around him. Actually, he has on up on his sister because he already sleeps through the night, something she still struggles with! It is definitely possible to have two good babies, or more!

Of course it is. They will be different, but both can be good. I have two boys, 15 months apart, one who is 18 months and the other is 13 weeks. My first was perfect - he barely cried, he ate well, slept well and had (still has) a great temperment. My second one, although different in his own way is an angel as well. I think it has to do a lot with the parents and how you respond to having two children. There is a lot less free time (and you think you dont have much now, right?) and so there is more stress. Some people handle stress well, others dont. Your children pick up on how you handle situations, your mood, your stress level and respond accordingly.
Just have a wonderful time with your first, and when you are ready to welcome a second child into your life, enjoy it as well and your children will be happy too.

Dear J.,
I don't know why people feel compelled to say the things they do sometimes.
It is definitely possible to have two "good" babies in a row. All babies are good, but perhaps for different reasons.
I had a girl and a boy 10 years apart. My daughter slept through the night, wasn't a picky eater, was very sociable and happy. She was very strong willed, however, and walked at 7 months. She wanted to do things for herself. She came out ready to go! I didn't think I could have more children, so my son was a surprise. I thought surely I couldn't get lucky twice. But I did! My son slept all night, ate everything, was very mellow and affectionate. He was just a little heart melter. He still is! He's 13 and just an absolute joy. My daughter put me through hell around the time she turned 15...just being mouthy and disrespectful. No signs of that with my son so far. I've got my fingers crossed. But he really just kind of goes with the flow and isn't nearly as head-strong, so we'll just have to wait and see.
All kids are different. Not to sound corny, but kids are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're going to get!
Enjoy your baby for now and don't listen to what people say if it worries you about having another baby. You won't automatically get a holy terror the second time around. If you have 3 or 4 kids, they will all be different and unique in their own little ways. And that's what makes them special. And blessings.

J.,
The same thing happened to my husband and I when we were pregnant with our 2nd. Our first baby was a dream and guess what so is our 2nd. They are only 21 months apart and are both great kids. I was so worried that the 2nd was going to be so much more work but she really isn't. Don't listen to people there is no way of knowing.

If someone were to mention to me they wanted a 2nd child, no matter how old the 1st child was, great! But if they were to clarify it with "because our 1st child is so easy!", then I would be a little more concerned.

I truly believe there are no "good" or "bad" children. There are definitely more "easy" & more "challenging" children, but that's as far as I'd look at it. If the main reason you want additional children is because it's such a breeze with your first, then I'd give it some more time. Like, see how "easy" the 1st child is once they hit 2 yrs of age.

I personally think folks should want another child because they have so much love to give that they can't possibly imagine just one child to give it to. But that's just my opinion, of course.

I am currently pregnant with our 2nd child & our 1st child would most definitely not be clarified as "easy". He didn't sleep for the first 15 mths (no joke), I wasn't able to exclusively nurse after many months of trying, & he is a bit of a "willful" child. BUT, he is a joy to be around, especially when he's with other children. We can't imagine our life without him, regardless of the first 2 years of his life & how extremely challenging they were. Were we "uptight" as someone mentioned earlier, or parenting the "wrong" way? Absolutely not. My husband & I are fairly laid-back personalities, which personality is definitely a genetic trait in your child. Only my husband & I know how much reading, effort, praying, & consulting we did that 1st year to give our child the best chance at being a good sleeper, eater, whatever. Many times parents believe their own actions are what is making their child so "good" when that's just not the case. Guidance & boundaries are great, but you can not MAKE your child sleep, eat & poop - period! :)

And I find that the parenting "advice" I get is usually from people who have easy kids - it is so much easier for them to judge & determine what I'm doing "wrong" since they "obviously" have it down pat with their easy kid. Who DOESN'T want their kids down for the night at 7PM, sleep 12 hours & be a dream all day long???

Sorry to be so long; my main point is, nobody knows what they're going to "get" when another child comes into the world. So to base it on your 1st child is only setting up the 2nd child for failure down the road - mommy & daddy sitting in the teacher's office questioning why little Timmy isn't like his older brother Tommy kinda thing. Not that you would intentionally feel that way, but it's just food for thought.

Each child is unique, they have their own personalities, their own way of doing things. Great if you have a bunch of easy-going kids! And great if they are all drastically different from each other!! That's what makes it a family!

Good luck in your decision & enjoy your time with your 1st child!

Yes, it's POSSIBLE, but is it realistic to think like that? I'd be prepared for a tough baby, that way if you do get a easy baby, you can at least say you were prepared! =) I had 2 "tough" babies before my 3rd was finally sent down to me in a package that said "easy" lol! Good Luck! I wish you an easy baby, really I do!

-From a mom who had 2 tough babies before she got the easy one.... ;)

You've already gotten quite a few responses and I only read a few so am not sure if someone already said this. I have 2 boys that are 2 years apart. My take on this is that your first child is your standard - its the only comparison you have. When you have the second you sort of think things will all go the same way just because that is how "babies" are - but each child is so different in personality so you tend to always in your mind compare what the second one is doing to the first...whereas with the first you had nothing to compare it to...does that make sense? Also with the second you have to adapt some of the things you do - rocking one child to sleep might not work with the second...he might prefer to just read a book. You forget all of the trial and error you did with your first to figure out how to get them to sleep, eat, etc. and then you assume all of the same things that you did figure out will work with the second and when they don't you're frustrated and might think the second is somehow "more difficult." I remind myself on a daily basis that they are each individuals and I try to look at the second with a fresh view when possible. I still compare things in my head constantly though - its unavoidable.

Maybe you need to stop telling people you're thinking about another baby. I'm only half kidding. I don't know what it is but everyone is an "authority" when it comes to babies. You will get so much "advice" in the next few years, much of it unsolicited. Your "filters" haven't come in yet. You'll get pretty good at not listening or at least not taking everything everyone says to heart.
I guess it's possible to have two "good" babies but babies are people and every one is different. Enjoy your baby. There are so many changes ahead for all of you - some easy and "good" some not so much.

Well, my first reaction when I read your post title was hysterical laughter! You see my first daughter was perfection- pregnancy, sleeping, eating, we didn't ever even need to babyproof the house! It was my husband and I who always said our 2nd would be the opposite-and we are right! She (didn't) sleep, (wouldn't) branch out eating-wise, and has already gotten into more mischeif in her 6 months than our 3y old ever has in her life! Oh,how we love, love our second baby girl- just the same as we love our first born, and we are enjoying this stage with "#2" just as much as we enjoyed it the first time around. (Well, more sleep would be better, but whatcha gonna to do?)
Don't listen to what anyone else says- your next baby will be what it is, and you will love being their parent just as much, no matter what!
p.s. FWIW, my 3yold is going through the mother of all phases concerning discipline/power struggles (wars!)/moodiness, etc. We figure at least if #2 is the opposite, her "terrible twos" should be a breeze!

All 4 of my girls were wonderful babies.

Hi J.,
Just in case you weren't sure, & everyone's advice(though well meaning) is confusing to you, Let me clarify one thing.....ALL BABIES ARE GOOD!!!! Some just cry a lil more than others. Some babies sleep thru the night right away,some babies don't sleep thru till there 6 months old....Just like every person is different so is every baby.
You are NOT destined to have a fussy baby just because you have a very mild mannered son now.
Also think of it this way, some parents also deal with a fussy baby better than others. We recently welcomed our first grandson to the family. My daughter in law said several times that she thought he was being "a fussy baby" but then we moved them in to our house & from my stand point he is the best baby ever. i rarely hear him cry. He only fusses when he's hungry or needs a diaper change & sometimes not even then...I think he is a dream compared to when my kids were young, but again it just depends on how you deal with your kids.
Now, all that being said...I will tell you in my own experience....I would wait just a lil longer between kids. My sons were just under 15 months apart.My oldest was 5 1/2 months when I got pregnant with the second child. My first like yours was a dream...until the second child was born. The oldest did not like sharing, he no longer required a bottle, until the baby was born. The oldest thru tantrums when it was bedtime(cause lil baby brother was still up & he thought it unfair, even at that age).So if I had thought it out better I think I would have waited a few more months maybe even a year.....but that's just me.....and NO ONE can tell you what is right for you.....
Good Luck...I hope this helped....Friends even though well meaning need to keep thier opnions to themselves unless asked....& if you ask & don't like what they have to say,,,,oh well, a friend should understand. Not everyone agree's all the time, if so we wouldn't have war.......L.....sorry if I was too blunt.

Let me ask you this. Would you love your son any less if he was not quite as easy? Probably not. Would you still want another child? If the answer is yes then go for it and see what kind of blessing you receive. Parenting is hard work no matter if your child is "easy" or "not so easy" and the more children you have the harder it gets. I believe that God hand picks our children and gives us exactly what we as parents need or maybe it is the other way around and our child needs us as his parents but whatever the reason there IS a reason.

My first child was so easy, number two came along and he was a joy but he was lactose intolerent so until we figured that out he was a real "mama's boy", nursing every hour day and night for a whole year. This was more difficult because I had a 19 month old running around still needing my attention 100% of the time and I was exausted. Number three was straight from God. We were not planning on having another child so soon but obviously God did. She came just 25 months after my second child so life is still really busy. My baby girl, I'd say is my easiest so far. She sleeps better than both of my boys combined, she smiles more and is a wonderful baby. I cannot imagine my life without any of my children on the good days or the bad. I consider all of my children to be easy children I just have to adjust my parenting style to each child. They all need something a little different from me so I adjust.

I don't think this really answers your question to can you have two "good" babies in a row but hopefully it does remind you that you are given the children you are supposed to have, easy or not and I promise you will love your new baby just as much as you love your first.

Good luck on your new adventure into parenting and God Bless!

Yes...and it will make other people VERY jealous.

Oh my Goodness! I cannot believe that people are always telling stories like that......We have three children, 16 and 17 months apart, all three of them WONDERFUL. They were all great babies, and are now 1, 2 and 3. It is all a matter of attitude and patience. A study also showed that people that are positive and happy during pregnancy are more likely to have happy babies. So.....
Just believe that it happens, because it does. Good luck and have FUN with this amazing time in your life: raising new little people who will be able to change the world for the better!

Good luck,
E..

Yes!!! My boys are 22 months apart and super good kids. The second one is actually a lot easier (not just b/c of our experience, b/c he just is an easier child!!) I got so sick of hearing that too!!!! I think it is so negative of people to say that. Now I always hear," Are you going to try for your girl??" Good Luck!!

It's quite possible! It happened to me. Calm mothers have calm children. That's what I personally think works. My sons are only 11 mos apart and everyone told me it was going to be a nightmare.... but it wasn't. And the younger son learned so much from the older one that he developed motor skills very quickly. They were awesome boys. They are 27 and 28 now and still the best kids a mom could ask for.
So, yes, it is very possible.
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I've gotten slammed by another site user that said I shouldn't say that being calm will guaranty a calm baby. I didn't mean that it would, but it does help. You may be blessed with a challenging child that will get to your last nerve.... all you can do is your best. God gives us the children, we don't pick em. They are blessings that come in crazy packages with different personalities. It is possible to have 5 easy kids, and it's possible to have 5 challenging kids. It's a roll of the dice I suppose. I hope you get another easy one but if you don't just be calm and handle him/her with care. They are all gifts.

Hi J.,

Of course it is possible and even likely that your 2nd baby will be great...as many other moms and grandmas have already reassured you. :)

One comment that I saw at least one experienced mom offer (she was a grandma by now) is something I completely agree with...as she had stated, if I were you, I'd wait till baby # 1 is older before trying again. Unless there is a physical concern about possible difficulty in conceiving (i.e. advancing maternal age), studies have shown that waiting till the next older child is at least 3 is the ideal child spacing for BOTH children, and makes it a much easier transition for the older child. I realize that close child spacing is many people's preference, for various reasons (including societal and grandparent pressure, at times), and I'm not here to debate that, just to share another point of view.

A year-old baby is still very much a needy baby, as is even a 2 year old toddler - that is very normal and developmentally appropriate. I read an article in the Nurture Center newsletter once (cut it out and kept it a long time too) about this very thing...they included info from studies etc. and made the point that an older toddler or preschooler is more emotionally prepared and more independent also, and is more likely to be excited and pleased for the most part at the prospect of a new baby in the house. It was very reassuring to me to hear this, as my personal preference has always been to plan to have children 3-5 years apart for the sake of the older siblings and for family harmony.

Even as a child, I was only 17 months older than my first sibling, and I see how it made it very hard on my mom and on our family to have two so close together. There's no denying that close child spacing tends to naturally create situations that force a baby to have to try and "grow up" too quickly. Having a new sibling enter the family too soon can cause insecurity in the existing children and increased sibling rivalry (no matter how a parent may try, an infant will obviously have to take precedence in many situations simply because their needs are more urgent and they are more helpless). Having two (or more) very young and naturally-needy children puts increased stress on the parents (especially moms - both physically and emotionally) and also increases marital stress. These are all things to think about when that sweet "baby hunger" sets in. :)

All that being said - you will choose whatever you feel is truly best for your family, I believe, and there is no need to feel worried that the next baby will be any less sweet, lovable, and dreamy than your wonderful first one! :)

God bless your family - enjoy that wonderful baby boy of yours!

S. M.

J.,

I have 4 wonderful well behaved children, and my definition of "good" has changed with everyone.. Curtis was way different than Jesse, became more a of Daddies boy sooner, but over all they were both "easy", Danni and Tyler are the same way, while with Danni I had to take her cradle swing EVERYWHERE or she wouldn't sleep Tyler will sleep anywhere as long as shes comfortable.. it doesn't make any of my children any less good than the others, they are all people in and of themselves with thier own personalities, tempers, and quirks... I think people define a child being good or easy by thier current mind set... when I am having a hard time dealing with my kids doing what kids do best I remind myself that they are my sweet baby angels, and that thier behavior is age appropriate... A childs behavior is also a direct reflection of thier enviorment, and your parenting skills, if you are stressed out the baby will be stressed out.. Don't let people scare you with thier horror stories.. If I had listened to people I wouldn't have my Handsome Princes and Beautiful Princesses, if you enjoy being a Mom and would like to expand your family nothing should stop you, and you will be suprised, the next baby might be even easier.. My 4th is my easiest by far, some say its all her, others say its because I have honed my skills as a Mother.. I think its because both of us work in harmony together because she can feel the love we have for her.. just remember even if the next baby is more fussy its because he/she has thier own personality and maybe he/she just wants your love and attention a little different... *smiles* Good luck on your journey!!
X.

Dear Jodi,

I had the same thing told to me. My 2 1/2 yr old was a walk in the park!!! And during my pregnancy of baby#2 I heard the same thing over and over until I wanted to scream! Baby #2 is now one week old and is JUST like his big brother, easy as a dream. Both boys have (had) only one problem... they want (wanted) to be held all the time and cry if they are put down. Baby slings solved this problem quick. So while some people say it isn't the norm, I say it is like everything else in this world... 50/50 chance of being good or bad, you just have to have faith and if you want another child to love, being easy won't really effect that love you are ready to give.

God bless,
R.

Hi J.,

I have girls, 20 months apart in age and both were wonderful babies. They both slept through the night by 3 months, never had colic etc. I joke around that they were so good as babies because they were saving it up until they were old enough to fight with each other, lol. My girls are now 8 years old and 6 years old and are the best of friends and the worst of enemies, hahaha. Anytime, you add another child into the mix of things, things are going to change. It matters more how YOU handle it. If you have patience and kindness, you will love every minute of it! I say go for it! When your kids grow up, they will always have each other to lean on, even when mom is not around! There is no better gift you can give your child than a brother or sister to love and share their life with.

Enjoy it!
M. S

The whole idea of a child becoming labeled good vs. bad as an infant is very sad - and frightening that it is so common. As parents, it's a struggle not to make comparisons between our own children and others. But it's crucial to appreciating our children for the unique individuals they are.

As the mother of two boys - 18 & 22 - I would have to say that both pregnancies were difficult and the early years for both of them were problematic. You might say that I had two bad babies. But from my current vantage point, I can now appreciate what I learned from the those struggles. And what they learned.

Your second child might be the exact opposite of your mild-mannered first child. And these two siblings may be the balance that each of them needs for the rest of their lives.

I have 2 good kids, both great babies and now great little boys. They are both very different as to be expected since they are 2 totally different people:) Just ignore those nay sayers,they should be happy that you are having a great experience with baby #1 and should be encouraging and excited that you want another. Both of my boys were good eaters, sleepers, smiling more that they cried etc. Of course neither are perfect and we had and have our challenges, but I get comments from people all the time about both of my kids and how happy they are and how well behaved they are. It is from LOTS of love, hard work and consistency of my husband and I.

i am sure it is. i had 2 difficult babies in a row. not that bad, but even good babies (overall, my 2 were) have periods of rotteness that make us appreciate the 'good baby' phases. have the next one when you think your family is ready. those who say, prepare for the nightmare are exaggerating and maybe trying to remind you that even an easy baby is not like having 2.

Sandra M said it all!

I have 5 very happy, healthy girls, full of love & life. They are all different, of course, but don't pay attention to the negative things people say, if I did, I'd be a miserable hermit!

Take care!
D.

I have a little knowledge about this. My daughtes are 14 months and 10 days apart. Each child is different. They are five and six now. My five year just 9 months ago started sleeping really well. She is not a picky eater and is more laid back. My six year old has always been a good sleeper, is a picky eater and is high strung, but I can trust her not to get into stuff and take others belongings. If something is missing we head to the five year old. I will be very honest, like someone was to me, the first three years is ruff and I thought they would never end. Now, they share clothes, shoes, toys, and I don't have to have play dates. I look back, I don't remember alot of the first three years, good and bad times, which is kind of sad. Two in diapers is never fun, but they have a built in playmate, not someone else's bratty kid hanging around. Good luck, if you have other questions feel free to email.

I am only having one so I can't tell you from my own babies if you can get two good ones but my parents decided to have another after they had me and got a screaming, pinching, biting child that once got tied up with a jump rope and put in a closet just so my poor mother could unload the groceries without worrying about her second daughter slipping out the door and running down the street.

I always tease my sister and tell her that there was a reason mom and dad stopped having kids after they had her. ;)

My sister and I never got along and that's probably a big reason why I only want to have one.

I know I am late in responding, but just had to add my 2 cents.
YES!!! (to answer your question)
I had three great babies...first one was just a dream baby...then 18 months later another...then 20 months later a third great baby! Parental temperment and expectation has a lot to do with it (in my opinion).
I got pregnant with my second when my first was 9 months old. It was unplanned then, but I LOVE their age difference now that they are 5-1/2 & 4 they play play play together! The youngest at 2-1/4 also plays great with them! (of course a normal amount of sibling rivalry...but the good play outweighs the bickering on most days).
Good luck and congrats on your bundle!!

Just remember that kids are different. For people to use the word nightmare. That is a bit much. I have two sons and yes they do some things the same but for the most part they are different. That is what makes them who they are. I would not be discouraged at what others say. I have 2 boys and when I tell people I would try for a third. I have to hear... ARE YOU NUTS??? What if IT'S A BOY!!!! That is annoying.

of course it's possible, but I'd guess it would be much harder to start with an "easy" baby. My son was a challenging baby and so by comparison my 7 month oldseems liek a piece of cake...so you might just have to have an open mind to the fact that the next might be more challenging...or you might just get lucky!

Yes it is possible to have two good babies in a row. Its all about getting them on a schedule and keeping them on it. Don't get me wrong they are gonna be alot of work just because there is two of them. They are blessings good or bad.

My 3 year old and 8 month old are and were great babies/kids. People who say negative things aren't confident parents. The way a child behaves has a lot to do with the parents and how they handle their children. There are exceptions of course. Your 2nd child will be a dream also. If he/she is not, well they do go through phases and it is all part of being a parent. I love it!!!! Take care

hi jodi, i to got tired of hearing that same song. except my 1st 1 was a handful & knew there couldn't be a baby any more "challenging" then him so 21/2 yrs later i had my 2nd son & bless his heart he was a dream, i often forgot i had 2 babies (not really, but my 1st one consumed all my time) i was so greatful for my sweet indepentant wonderfuly content 2nd son, then 20 yrs later i had my 3rd son & yes you can have 2 babies that are wonderful my 3rd son is just like my 2nd a wonderfuly content independant happy soul. i think it still counts even if there 20yrs apart. so next time you hear someone sing that tune you stop them & tell them to sing that song to someone else. but remember every babys different & they all come with there own special joys. blessed with 3 sons T. K

Oh Please!

The conversation is true, however, it seems to be getting a "bad rap". Don't base your decision of having a second baby because it might be a "wild child"........that's just silly. Let me tell you what kinds of things some of these "bad babies" might do............

Not nap as good. Want to sleep with you more often. Try to crawl up every set of staircases. Picky eater. Maybe a problem with formula, or cannot get enough breastmilk. Too wiggly when you change a diaper. Trouble with school. Doesn't make friends as easy.... And i can go on and on!~

You're probably thinking.....hmmmm, those are some of the things that your son does right now :o) Well, see! It could be a trick.....you could've already had your "bad baby", and your next one will be "better".

The truth is that babies/kids are different, as I am sure any mother who had twins will tell you :o) It doesn't mean that one is "bad" and one is "good" and that you will love one more than the other. It simply means God is strengthening your abilities as a mother to handle it all :o)

If you want a second baby, have one because you desire one. Not because you're afraid of what you'll get.

~N. :o)

Hi J.,
Yes, it is possible! Our first, our daughter, was a great eater, slept well at night, didn't cry much and as she's gotten older she is a good student, gets along well with others, is very kind and an all around great kid.

So my second should be a nightmare, huh?

No, he's just a "good" and better in some ways, as she is better in some ways. As a baby he also ate well (and much faster than his slowpoke nursing sister), slept well at night (before his sister), didn't cry much (maybe a tad more than his sister because of gas). As he's gotten older he also proving to be an excellent student, gets along well with others, he's very sweet and an all around good kid. We have had people come up to us in restaurants and in church to comment on how well behaved or how nice our kids are.

I will admit I did think that second kid might be more difficult than the first, I kind of expected in based on similar comments. I mean my own brother - the second kid - was a good baby and then a nightmare from ages 2 to 6, so I thought it might be genetic - ha, ha. My husband and I were both apparently good babies so when people ask how we got two such good kids, we say it's because we were both so good ourselves.

And I guess the bottom line is that so what if your second is a "nightmare" - you're going to love him/her no matter what. Just tell people, "well, I love being a mom so much, that's a risk I'm willing to take". Good luck on baby #2!

People always say weird things like that! How do they know what kind of baby you will have next? I have three boys. All three have the best personalities as toddlers. They aren't great sleepers, but it's getting better! Seeing how good they are people say, "just wait till they are teenagers..." and give this all-knowing nod. It's like they are wishing me bad times ahead! I really don't understand why people say these things... Don't let negative comments deter you from having another child, if you want to have one. Besides even if your next baby isn't '''perfect" he/she will have wonderful qualities and be equally lovable.

I think some people just like to the bearers of bad news. I had the same thing eluded to me when I got pregnant with my second child, so I prepared myself for the worst, and got the best. Both girls were little dreams as infants, and I couldn't be more blessed. That being said, if you give another child the same caring, stable and comfortable home your obviously providing for your first child, I would see no reason that your second child would be a terror.
good luck

I don't think your friends are doing you any favors with this clap-trap. A lot of it really depends on parenting and the emotional/cognitive circumstances in your home, so if you provide your second baby with a lot of love and positive interaction it will probably respond in kind. If you set the kid up with poor expectations and respond to it as if it is a "bad seed" then you're much more likely to encourage it to act out. Babies come from their parents and reflect their emotional states in large part. Whether you're talking nature or nurture your bio baby raised in your home is going to be impacted by what sort of environment you provide. IMHO. Then again, there are lots of people who would argue the opposite, so you're probably better off evaluating your own life experience and deciding for yourself.

Of course it is. Just don't expect the same responses from both of them. My friend has 3 boys that I have the pleasure of babysitting. They all are different, but just as lovable.

Yes, definitely. My kids are 20 months apart and both were wonderful babies. Now, my son is 6 1/2 and my daughter just turned 8. She is bossy but she just is looking out for him and t times they are best friends and they also fight. The good thing is that they are able to do so much together. When the siblings are far apart in age they are not able to go and do the same activities. I wouldn't change anything.

Dont listen to that...

J.,
Yes it is possible to have two good babies. We trained our kids to sleep in thier own beds and to go to bed at
8pm every night. Our children are now 19, 16 and 14. They were all good babies with their own little personalities.
W. m

both my sons are GREAT! 4yr old & 3mo old. BUT VERY opposite so "good" in many, but different ways.

Hi J.,

Yes it is!!! I have four children, now adults, that were wonderful and always very well behaved; even into adulthood. As some of the earlier responders have indicated, patience, understanding and good communication play a major part in having great kids. I would encourage you to, as your family grows, not to forget the one-on-one time each child will require as this helps to curb the rivalry (believe it or not, between them they had very few arguments) and brings you closer to each of your children. My children and I are very close. I have always been honest and upfront with them and they me. Three of the four are currently in college and while they all come home for holidays and special occasions I still make it a point to spend time with each them singularly and have a very special relationship with each. So pay no mind to those that say your next child will be a nightmare it's obvious they are doing something wrong.

Good Luck!
CM

All babies are good, even the difficult ones. They are part of you and your soulmate, and if they are a bit difficult maybe they got that from you!! Not in a mean way, but think of all the people who can't have their own babies or who have babies with disabilities or diseases and they think their babies are the best. Remember there's nothing like a mother's love for her child, it's unconditional. Good luck, may you have a healthy baby!
C. :)

Well, my two kids are living examples of that stereotype - the oldest was/is a dream and the younger FAR more challenging. But I am sure these people are just joking. I would ignore them!

I guess it's possible, but that didn't happen for me. My younger son was hard right from the start until this last summer. He just turned 11. Every single day brought new challenges, from refusing to sleep to making himself throw up when he was mad.

On the other hand, I'm still happy to have two sons who love each other and will, hopefully, carry that into their adult lives.

Would I do it again if I knew what might happen? Hmmm, hard to say. But raising an only child has its unique challenges.

Yes it's possible, I have two boys 18 mths apart and tehy are both my angels. Just remember that all kids go thru different stages, they are wild sometimes, intent sometimes, sleep well for 6 mths, than not for a year, than again for 5 years, etc. etc.
All children are different, all children are good, all children go thru stages........it's difficult with two so close together, and with my perfect "angel" being in the middle of being two.......but both my kids are the best and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

All babies are good. Some are just a little easier than others. Of course it's possible.

Of course it's possible, but I've seen the opposite as well. 50/50 chance either way!

Do people really mean it when they say this I wonder. I heard it a little and wondered myself if it was possible to have 3 easy babies in a row. Well it is. So far my almost 3 month old has never kept us up at night ,sleeps for 6 hours during the night between feedings. So I am only awake once to feed her and it's back to sleep. Now the part thats hard is both my other two easy babies really hit hard on the terrible two's. My first baby was diffucult as an infant and never a good sleeper. But she was easy ever after. no terrible two's just such a sweet girl. I think you must be a relaxed mom ,really attuned to your babies needs. Best wishes.

J.

I have 3 kids (ages 8, 2 3/4 & 19 months) all three of my kids slept all night long almost at birth. They all sleep in until 9 in the morning (when we are able to) and they all for the most part have good personalities.

I think alot of it is your parenting style too, maybe you are not as uptight as others and the baby is able to relax.