If Your Child Is Normally Good, but Having Rough Days at Preschool

It sounds like a whole bunch of things, all hitting at the same time.

Wrapping one's arms around a child "to calm her," may have felt like a threat. I would probably bite someone who grabbed me and wouldn't let go, too.

Allergy medicine does strange stuff to kids. Mine have to take it at night. They need it, they really do, but it makes them tired and very cranky, and more susceptible to upsets.

Plus, things have been changing, from her point of view, willy-nilly on her. Mom home, mom not home. Daycare one day/week, daycare full time. What has she had any control over in the last six weeks? Don't we all sort of lash out, when we are feeling lost?

At any rate, it sounds like you need to have a talk with the center.

I think she is just reacting to the changes that happened at home. While you were home on medical leave, she got a lot more of your attention and got out of her school routine. Now that she's back, it's going to take time to adjust. I find it VERY strange that the teachers are taking such serious action after ONE day of problems. She needs to be given a chance to readjust. It doesn't sound like the teachers handled things well with her at all yesterday. While your daughter's behavior certainly wasn't acceptable, they should know that it's uncharacteristic of her and give her the benefit of the doubt.

Meanwhile, have some talks with your daughter. Ask why she was so upset at school and what you could do to make it better, aside from keeping her home. Try to see if something specific set her off, or if she was just unhappy to be away from you after six weeks of you being home.

Hopefully next week will be better.

i do think a lot of major things hit her at the same time. and before you get all up in arms against her teacher - she was probably staying calm, and may have laughed a little rather than losing her patience with a completely out of control, irrational child.

this is just 1 day?

talk to you daughter, explain that no matter HOW naughty she is, it doesn't mean she gets to come home (a little fib but you have to work with her logic - apparently she is deliberately doing this because she wants to go home, so play her game a bit) tell her that mommy has to go to work and nothing she does is going to stop that. then let her talk to you about her feelings over it. understand her and empathize with what she's going through. you can work with her to make this better. and if you get defensive with the teachers, you bet they're not going to try too hard to keep her.

You did not say whether it was your 4 or 6 with the problem... that said, she should be able handle her emotions / express her self better.

When she is calm you should ask her why she was acting like this (her perspective is more important than the teacher's). Find out what she hoped would happen as a result of her beahvior and explain to her what she could have done differently and if the why is becuase she wanted to go home, make sure she understands that you won't be home. That she has to be at school becuase you are at work.

Also, if they want to call in an observer after one day of misbehavior (sounds like she was fine for the one day a week ) then I question thier ability to handle children at all. And obviously the director questions the teacher's ability as well.

IMO, they are having a severe reaction to your daughter's behavior for one day. They obviously know her so I would think that IF this were out of character for her, they would see that and possibly chalk it up to the fact that you've returned to work and her trying to re-adjust to that.

The fact that they immediately went to certified observers and threatening to ask you not to bring her back, makes me think this was one a one-time thing. I could be wrong and if I am, I apologize. It just seems like they went from zero to sixty in a nano-second!

so I have 2 boys, 3 1/2 and almost 6 yrs, both have been in daycare and preschool since about 6 months old. They transitioned pretty easily to preschool, however both had some adjustment issues at the beginning and when coming back from even a week vacation. It's totally normal since they are getting back into a routine that they have been out of for awhile, not to mention all the other factors, mom being home, teachers, directors. They will go back to normal after a couple of weeks and I say let them bring in the observer, because all that will do is make the school and teachers realize that the children are exhibiting normal behavior given the circumstances and give the teachers the tools to help ease the transition.