13 Month Old Son Is Biting... How to Stop It!

Hi E.! I read your other responses and I have a bonus for you! My daughter did the exact same thing. I have 3 children (10, 7 & 2). When my oldest was about 18 months old, she was bitten at daycare by another child who wanted the toy she had. She quickly learned that it was an effective way to get what she wanted. The daycare called me about 4 times to tell me she had bitten other children and that I needed to take care of this. The last time they called, I had to come get her. She had bitten twice in one hour. I was in tears!! How could I have a child like this?! Each time they called, I tried some different "remedy" for biting. Nothing worked. The last time, I picked her up from daycare and took her home. She asked why I was crying (in her own 18 month old way - LOL!). I told her I was sad because she was biting other kids. She had the most puzzled look on her face. That got me thinking. She didn't remember that she had done it! The next morning, I went to the daycare to meet with the director (this was required before she could come back). I had the director bring in her teacher and I told them both that this was NOT MY PROBLEM! Children that young don't remember later what they did earlier in the day. What was happening was this...she would bite in the morning, I would pick her up around 5, and then discipline her for biting. She had NO CLUE what I was disciplining her for! You can't discipline a child when they don't know what you are disciplining about. The discipline must be administered at the time the undesired behavior happens. My daughter was not biting at home. Only at daycare. Thus, it was the teacher's problem to pay more attention to her and tell her no or give her a time out when it happened. The director of the daycare center agreed with my argument. The teacher then began paying more attention to what my daughter was doing. She learned to tell when my daughter was getting ready to bite and would stop her before it happened or would put her in time out immediately after if she didn't catch her in time. She bit about 3 more times after that meeting and then it was over.

My point is this....if your child is only biting at daycare...it's NOT YOUR PROBLEM TO RESOLVE! The teacher needs to be the one taking care of it at the time it happens. Your child is too young to remember what you are disciplining him for hours later. Talk to his teacher and explain this to her/him. Get the teachers help to keep a closer eye on him for a week or so and try to intervene as soon as she spots him doing it. I think you'll find the problem goes away pretty quickly. Of course, if your teacher isn't willing to work on this with you, there isn't much you can do. Your son will never understand what he did wrong hours later when you are able to "take care of it".

Best of luck!
T.

I had the same problem with my son and the only thing that stopped it was another child biting him back lol.. he wouldnt bite anyone at home but at school or around other children he did until one day a little girl got mad enough and bit him back to this day he wont even look at the girl who bit him but he learned his leason.

I read that biting, although it seems like an aggressive behavior, is often a defensive behavior. Have you spoken to the daycare teacher about the situations in which your son bites? Is another child being aggressive towards him? Are there enough toys for everyone? Maybe there is a pattern to events that trigger the biting response. Good luck!

I dont know if this is something that the teachers or you have thought of, but maybe he is not doing it to hurt.I think he is biting in a playful way.He doesnt understand that it hurts.Has he ever been bitten?If not, he has no clue what it feels like.I am not saying to go bite him LOL, but I am suggesting that you tell him,"NO BITING" everytime he bites.Tell the daycare workers to keep an eye on him, and that even before he gets the chance to bite, remove him from the situation.Tell him,"Mommy said do not bite",or,"Biting hurts....OUCH!!!!"...He will eventually understand.BE FIRM AND LOUD, BUT DONT YELL.

I had this same prob. with my son at that age... I yell at him once about it and he stopped! The bad news is that he started it back up once he was in day care!! lol He would come home and first thing he would do is give me a hug and then try to bite me....it got old fast!! All it took for him to stop was a bigger kid at daycare to bite him! He hasnt bit once, just think of it as a phase.... and pray that once its over he wont start it again!!

I used to work in a daycare and I actully had two biters. This is what I know about the problem. It is to some extent your problem becuase you have to have the same disapline at home that you use at school. Meaning even though its easier you can't hit her if she bites becuase her daycare provider can't hit her.

We watched the children very closely and stepped in when it was apprent they were going for the bite. We put our hand in front of thier faces nand said, "No!"

Remember that sometimes they bite becuase they are having trouble communcating or to defend themselves. Just work through it with the daycare provider, be helpful. Don't go in there as if its not your problem, thats going to make them less likely to want to work with your child on this.

Did you ever think that "MAYBE" he is to young to be in daycare. Most children are not ready for school until they are 5 or even older. Today most people think that their children should be in some kind of daycare or preschool because everyone is doing it. I never sent my boy to daycare or preschool and he is just fine. He is in 6th grade now and is doing great and getting wonderful grades. I never went to preschool or daycare and I am a successful business owner. Don't ask for to much from kids...Enjoy the time you have with them when they are little. You are going to blink your eyes and they will be all grown. Good luck!!