Son Having Trouble Adjusting to School/daycare

When my son was 2 I had to switch him from a sitter to a daycare. My son did the same thing when he started at his new school. This lasted about 4 weeks for me. It stopped when I stayed about 10 minutes with him at the school playing with him and he was preoccupied I would sneak out of the classroom.

Hello K.,

I hope that this issue has been solved, if not THAT daycare may not be the best for son. I'm speaking from personal experience of working at a daycare center for two days. I had to quit because I didn't agree at all with their DISCIPLINARY actions. There was a lot of yelling by teachers and physical contact. This daycare has one of the BEST RATINGS and I don't see how. I can't name the daycare because they'll know who I am. I confronted the Director about this and she disagreed and told me that they are treated this way due to their behavior. Some children cried all day and I would try to calm them down and it ALWAYS worked :D. It got to the point that when they saw me, they would run to be and literally wrap their little arms around my legs (it was hard to walk, therefore, I just talked to them and asked them kindly to go to their class and that I'll check on them later, which I did). I love childen and get along with them. If your son is still crying and you're looking for a loving and educational childcare, I provide care at my home.

I'm a NEWLY REGISTERED childcare provider and am CPR & First Aid certified as well. I'm open Monday-Friday from 6:30am-6:30pm and am open most federal holidays. I provide a Bilingual, Christian, Toddler and Preschooler curriculum and there's lots of One-on-One attention. I keep my teacher to child ratio low. I provide various nutritous meals that meet the USDA Food Program. If you are interested, feel free to call me @ ###-###-#### or email me @ ____@____.com

You have a blessed day.

Hi K.,
I seriously agree with the other moms that suggested that you check out the daycare. A few months back I decided that I wanted to work, for the first time in almost 5 years, and put my girls in a daycare (they were 1 and 2 at the time). The daycare is directly across the street from my house and I too wanted them to interact with other kids and all that other stuff. My girls cried like they've never cried before, every morning and afternoon when I would go pick them up. To make a long story short, for a long time I felt like a terrible mother for having left my girls there for a month. Not to go into too many details, they would change their diapers ONCE a day (at 5:15pm when I was walking in the door) amongst a ton of other things. We ended up taking them to a family member of mine that takes care of kids in her home, she took care of me, my cousins, all of their kids... Well, to get to the point, they didn't cry there once. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID me for not taking them to her since the beginning. The daycare never even called to ask why the girls stopped showing up all of a sudden. Next to my mother, I would not trust anyone else with my girls. They don't go to the sitter anymore because I decided to quit my job to devote more time to my business, but my girls make me call her all the time so that they can speak to her. So, drop in the daycare for a surprise visit, I wish I had.

My daughter had the same issue with a daycare. I put her in one full time when she was four. The place was very relaxed with not much structure in the morning when the children were arriving. Even when I stayed she cried when I left. It never got better in her case, she cried worse each day. I found another daycare that was highly structured. You come in sit down and have breakfast every day, its over at the same time, etc. The kids knew what to expect. My daughter loved it there and she never cried. Point is the daycare may not be the right fit for your son. You know him best, does he function better when he is given a lot of freedom or when he knows what to expect. Kids need structure to feel safe. I hope this helps!

As a mom of six I've been on both ends, I was the mom dropping off, and I was a daycare center teacher. Have you tried spending a day with him in his class to see how he reponds to his teachers. Even though we know our children act a certain way when we are around, there are still signs we can see when our children are being mis treated. It doesn't matter how nice a teacher appears to be when we are around, theres always that possibility that something is not going right. Try spending a day with him in class.

Hi K., I was wondering, do you sneek away when you drop your child off? I ask because I have a Licensed Family Home Child Care and I ask all my parents to say good-bye and we love you and we will be back. It does work. You mentioned that your child was with a sitter? I had a little girl from the age of 4 months old in my home till she was 3. Mom and I both felt that she needs the structure of a pre-school. Well, She did find a church pre-school and the little one cried everyday for me. Mom and I worked on this together. What we found going from a ratio of 5 to 12 to 18 is ALOT when transitioning. There are so many wonderful Family Child Care Homes out there. Some are even early learning providers. Maybe a lower ratio of children may help.
Good Luck!

HI K.,

I know its so hard to have to leave them crying like that. My 22month old son has been in school for 3 weeks now and he did cry ALOT. I've heard from a few friends that after 2-3 weeks they should stop crying if not then you need to look into the school and make sure nothing is going on. Which I doubt anything bad is going on but one of my friends had a bad experience with a daycare/school and found out the her son was crying for a good reason. the teacher wasn't very nice in other words. so just out of precaution maybe give the school and your son a surprise visit and peek in on him in the classroom. I'm pretty sure it will just take some more time for him to get adapted.
Hope all goes well.
Y.

Hi K..
Part of the problem could be because he is not the "only" one now. With a sitter, he may have had more one-on-one time. Try taking him to a park with other children once in a while. Also, verbalize that mommy has to work, but you will be back soon. One thing I saw and it helped with my son is to kiss his hand and tell him when he misses you, to look at the hand because that's where you kissed it and your still right there. Maybe even try a picture of you that he can keep with him. Good Luck.

Hi K.,

My daughter did the same thing. We enrolled her in preschool a week after she turned three this past July. I am a stay at home mom and she had never been away from me. We did this becuase we felt she needed to be around other kids and she seemed to be cathing on fast to learning. It has taken her 8 weeks to fully adjust. There were times when I had to pick her up early because all she did was cry and disrupt the class. She had great difficulty with the transitions from one activity to another. My husband and I really thought she was going to be kicked out. But she has the best teacher. She has so much patience, love and understanding with our daughter and the class. She has never given up on her. We could not be more pleased with the progress our child has made. She talks in complete sentences now and even works harder at potty training. This was week nine and she has had the best week ever. She has gone from clinging to me crying to telling me good bye and playing with her friends. It has taken more time than most kids for her to fully adjust. We were even considering putting her in the two year old program where there is less structured activity. But she came around right when we were going to meet with the two yr. old teachers. The long of the short is your son may still need more time to adjust. All kids adjust at different paces. If his teacher could just be patient a little longer I know he will change and love to be there. Keep reassuring him that you will be back to pick him up and maybe have a small toy or treat that he likes in his car seat for him when you pick him up. What he is experiencing is perfectly normal. Change is hard for anyone no matter the age. Don't give up. I hope he comes around soon. Good luck!!

my son gets watched at the sitters while i work and go to school and that is the reason. why don't you talk to your sitter not to let him watch to much tv that is what i do and i by the toys so ho can play with. i think he is a more 1 on 1 type of child. hope this works or gives you more ideas,

Hi K.,
My son did the same thing. It broke my heart....every single day i had to walk out on him like that.

I sat him down and explained to him (they understand more than we think) that I will be coming back, just like I have every day and I wanted him to have friends like he has in school. It took him a few weeks to get used to the idea, but I kept reassuring him.
He knew when I was late, and before he asked me, I quickly explained that Mommy gets stuck at work sometimes, but never worry because I will always come to get him.

Also, you may want to ask the Director or the teachers in the class. Your son is no different than alot of kids and maybe they can suggest something else to help you both get through this.

I hope this helps.
Keep me posted.
BTW, where are you located and which daycare does he go to?

L.