Helping 5.5 Year Old Feel Better When I Go Out

I think most of mine have gone through this at one point or another.

Sometimes for no reason except they are just going through a bit of a clingy stage.

My smallest one had a full on tear fest about a month ago out of the blue which was really unusual.

I don't make a big deal. The more comfortable you appear in the situation (like it will all be totally fine) the more they relax. If you appear stressed (in anticipation) they pick up on it.

Good luck :)

** One thing I have done with clingy ones is to say "When you get home or when I pick you up, we'll have a story, etc." something to look forward to. That way it's a positive. Worked with one of mine getting on the bus. I'd say "When you get home we'll have a teddy bear picnic" and then they scrambled on bus without so much as a look goodbye. These phases don't last long.

i wouldn't make a big deal about it. not going to great lengths to comfort, nor to ignore it. i'm glad your in-laws are sensible about it.
brisk, no-nonsense, sympathy without coddling.
khairete
S.

It's a common stage.
It's one of those things that gets worse the more you pay attention to it.
As with daycare or school drop off, generally the crying doesn't last more than 10 min - and then they are fine.

I would continue what you're doing. Short and sweet and see you later.

My child had trouble with transitions, not so much with separation from me per se. But maybe this will work for you. He always had to take something from home if he went to school, and something from school when he came home. One time he brought home a little magnet from kindergarten (one of those counters the teachers use a lot of, in different shapes). This one was shaped like a bunny, and since I always called him "my snuggle bunny" he said that the bunny magnet would help me not miss him when he was at school. So sweet.

When he went up for a nap, he took something from downstairs - random stuff, but always something that "belonged" downstairs - a wooden spoon, a knick knack, anything. When he came down from his nap, he had to bring an "upstairs" item downstairs.

Is there something of yours that you can give her, something associated with you that she knows you will come back for? Maybe not something of monetary value, but sentimental? Ask her to please hold on to this item, to safeguard it, to be the person you true with that object? It might create a sense of "permanence" between the 2 of you, and make it a special bond between just you two? If you gave her a little speech along the lines of "You're the best person to be in charge of this item, there's no one I trust more with it until I get back" and so on, it might make a connection. If you can't think of anything at home, maybe you can buy something, either on your own or with her, that is symbolic of your relationship or just of you, some little trinket even from the dollar store or thrift shop. I'm thinking that something specifically related to YOU rather than a traditional lovey (which is important but isn't working) might make the difference.

My guess is that she won't need this forever - sometimes having spent a year in kindergarten makes it "real" to kids that they're growing up and school is going to be an everyday thing for an eternity, and they're clinging to childhood. Sometimes they get nervous as the school year ends and they are sad about leaving their teacher and a little nervous about moving on to a new teacher and new classmates. Transitions are hard because it means the end of the current security they feel.

I think the TV and iPad work for now, but if you're afraid you're setting yourself up for "all iPad, all the time, whenever Mom is gone" then it's going to be a problem down the line. If promising an hour of it (or any other privilege) will work, that's a decent standard to set that you can live with.

Good luck. I know it's hard!

Honestly...keep your goodbye's consistent and short. Don't coddle. It's the best thing you can do, and it will pass shortly.

Both of my kids went through a major attachment phase where someone had to physically pry them off of me whenever I left. It will be short lived, but your best job is to keep doing it and respond consistently.

You sound like a good mom, you only work once a week, and it sounds like your kids have plenty of time with you.

It sounds like you are doing it right, so I have no suggestions. My only advice is not to worry, your daughter is reacting the way many kids her age do, but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong or that she isn't perfectly well-adjusted.

Just keep doing what you're doing, and don't worry. Your daughter gets plenty of time and love from you, and it's actually harmful for our children to have their every emotion assuaged and catered to. Learning to handle their emotions is good for them.

Good job mom!

Until I was 11, I would have a breakdown when my parents went out even just for a few hours in the night time. Going to bed with a babysitter and not my parents by my side was a feeling that made me feel like I wasn't protected. Eventually, I would tell my self one thing that helped me. I would say "it's not like they are not coming back. They will be back late, but soon" sometimes I would even stay up until They came because I had to go to sleep next to them (not the best idea) I would say, talk to them and ask them why they get upset. And before you leave the house, tell them that you will be home at a certain time and that you will kiss them on the head when you get home. This always helped because then I could go to sleep knowing they were there for means still gave me a kiss goodnight even if I was already sleeping.

Get the book "The Kissing Hand" Read it to/with her and then when you leave, kiss her hand.

IF your child is coming down with something that can make them clingier. IF they aren't feeling well, that makes them clingier.

If they figure out crying makes mom feel guilty then they cry and mom gives them lots more attention and might even stay at home so they can play with their own toys and play with what they want.

If a child gets what they want by crying they do it again and again. So make sure you're not feeding the beast....lol.