How Do We Deal with Son's Crying About pre-K?

Updated on September 18, 2010
S.H. asks from Leawood, KS
11 answers

Our 4 1/2 year old just started a new preschool. He previously went to an in-home child care where he was one of the oldest of only six kids. He has gone there since he was four months old and loved it. We decided to move him to a preschool because we thought he needed more structure and less tv. He goes to school all day on Monday, Wednesday & Friday and is at the sitters the other two days. He is his happy little self on the sitter days and whimpers and cries every school morning. It starts as soon as he gets up. When we ask him why he is crying he says he is going to miss his family and loves us in his heart. (I have a real charmer on my hands.) He cries on and off during the school day but participates in all activites and is interacting more each day with the other kids. When we pick him up, he can't tell us fast enough what he did and learned that day and shows us everything he made. We are doing everything we can think of to encourage him. We have tried explaining to him that Mom & Dad have to work and that he gets to go to school to learn and play. I tell him it ok to choose to be happy at school, I have offered to send a picture of his family in his bag or put a stuffed toy for rest time but he doesn't want any of that. Help, I'm out of ideas.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Just give him time to adjust mom. He will get better I promise. My son was 2 when he started a new school and it was hard for the first month or so and then he got better. Now 2 years later he asks when can he go to school. LOL. Just keep doing what you are doing and he will get better.

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M.A.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

Sounds like he might be suffering from some seperation anxiety right now, this is all new to him, new place, new people and faces with different rules and structure...just like if we had to start a new job. Just be patient with him, provide lots of support and reassure him his feelings are normal and will pass the more comfortable he becomes with his new surroundings.

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P.G.

answers from Tulsa on

He sounds like he has a good time at school. It is a big change. Keep encouraging him and remind him of the fun things he gets to do at school that he doesn't get to do at the babysitters. Also remind him that at the end of the day, he still has family to come home and tell about all the things he did. He will adjust, just continue to be supportive, understanding and patient.

1 mom found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Houston on

How long has be been there? I think if he's having fun and participates and is exited at the end of the day then I think it will just take a little time before the crying stops. Transitions like this are hard. Are you comforting him when he cries in the morning? You have to be careful not to coddle him when he's cring about going because too much sympathy may give him the idea that you agree that it's awful he has to go. When he starts crying- just be very positive- "now I know you are sleepy (that may be part of it too) but it's going to be a great day today at school!" Keep up with what they are doing in class and find out what he enjoys- remind him of these things he likes "Do you think you'll get to do (insert fav class activity) today again? I bet you will!" or "Your friends (instert names here) would sure miss you if you were not there" A little of this and then move on- " Time to get dressed- what will you wear today?" "I'm going to get dressed- want to race?" Stay postive and don't encourage the whining and crying- he may be doing it because you are giving him sypanthy and/or extra attention.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Since he likes school when he is there and after school then he is doing just fine. It will get better and pretty soon he will walk in without giving you a second thought...then it's your turn to cry :-)

Good choice in moving him for less TV!

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Y.G.

answers from Buffalo on

keep sending him . he'll get used to it. pre-k is very important it teaches social skills(right now he's just used to u and ur family) they r also learning pre-reading skills (letter sounds & placement) if he takes a school bus and u dont like that take him urself.let him see that u and the teacher r on the same page.i am a grandma ,i hv 1 son and 1 grandson .they r both spoiled rotten and i had to take a stand on school if nothing else. so just keep taking him . u went to school didnt u ? is there something wrong with u ? no ? i thought so . be his mom not his whimpy friend who just does what he wants all the time .in life he's gonna face some "no's" in life , we as parents hv to get them ready for that .so when he does hear no he doesnt get postal ! LOL!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

Give him time and it may help for him to have consecutive days at preschool rather than one day on and one day off.

It sounds like he is doing fine but is still a little weepy which is fine. Human beings hate change even if it is good for us. He will and is learning how to deal with life's disappointments and change all at the same time. Continue to be encouraging and reward him greatly for letting you know about his day always looking for and emphasizing the positive things of his day while teaching how to deal with the negative in his little eyes.

Great job mama.

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B.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I think he just needs adjustment time. We as the grown-ups know that this kind of change will be fine, but for a kid it can be a much bigger deal. The best you can do is some of the things you've already done. Then just be a role model for him. Give him a big, reassuring kiss and hug good-bye, smile as you leave and let the teachers handle the tears. If you're stressed about it, he's more likely to be stressed about it. So many kids cry at the beginning of the school year (sometimes for days, weeks or longer!), but they adjust. It just takes time. He'll be fine and so will you! :)

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It's just about the hardest thing ever to basically "ignore" the protests and crying. Make jokes about school, his teacher, his buddies and silly things they may do...keep it light. Never let him see you sweat. He's looking for a chink in the armor. You can have a small nervous breakdown after he's been happily deposited at pre-school!

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Read him the book, The kissing hand, and then put a handprint in his bag with a lipstick kiss from you and/or your husband. I would also go ahead and put a picture of the family and a lovey in his bag. My daughter often says she doens't want one, but I sneak it in her bag anyway and she usually gets it out during the day for some extra snuggles. Her preschool class has put the familiy pictures up in the room next to the "quiet space" so the kids can go over to it when needed. Hang in there! It's an adjustment, but it's good for him and he will adjust! Just keep asking him questions and talking to him about his day to make sure there isn't something else going on...which there probably isn't, probably just the change. Good luck!

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