It's not happening yet, but it looks like they are headed towards divorce. My son will be 4 in June and only knows them as a couple (my sister and her husband). If they do get divorced, how do I explain to him why his Uncle is no longer around? Luckily they live about 3 hours away so we don't seem them all that often. But he does know them as a couple and I know he will ask where his Uncle is.
Thanks for any suggestions, I'm at such a loss on how to deal with this.
If she asks you just say Uncle didnt come today. She'll get used to it. 4 yr olds dont really care what is going on outside of their immediate family. If you dont make her think something is wrong she'll never be the wiser.
A simple "Uncle John stayed home" should suffice. Kids that young don't need to be drawn into the drama. Keep it basic.
She'll only think it's weird or confusing or complicated if you present it that way.
Aunt X and Uncle Z don't live together anymore.
:)
I'm for all for short and simple, but don't disguise the truth. If they are getting a divorce and someone moves out, don't just tell him his uncle is "at home". It's not true and he's 4, he can handle the truth...just not all the details. I would just say that they decided not to live together or be together any more and leave it at that. If he asks more questions answer them with the truth and few details. I think at that age he will be happy to have an answer and won't be too concerned with the minutia anyway and probaby won't make a big issue of it.
Exactly what Lucia said. My sister-n-law, who's a psychologist always says to keep it short and simple.
A very close couple friends of ours split up last year. My daughter was 4 at the time and also knew them as a couple. For awhile, we told her when one would come without the other, the other couldn't make it over. But soon, when one of them started dating and brought over the new person we had to tell her. We didn't tell her they divorced, we just said they broke up and now they are each dating new people. She never really knew for certain they were married and has no idea what divorce is so it worked for her.
i would reassure him that you and daddy are not divorcign but sometimes grown ups don't want to live together any more and that is what is happening with Aunt fufu and son will still get to see aunt but might not see much of uncle any more (but you could always offer to let son send him letters/pictures)
no bashin, uncle momo was sleeping around, or was mean or mad aunt sad. just that they couldn't get along.
You are borrowing trouble. Why worry about it if it hasn't happened yet? And the question hasn't even been asked???? I'm not being critical, but don't think about it until it happens.
Here's a good article on children/divorce that may help and the link has more details:
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/05/24/...
it is important to remember that children are much more perceptive than we think, so if you’re wondering if they’re aware of the marital discord, they probably are. Openly discuss the impending divorce. Tell them that “Mom and Dad are moving to separate homes,” explain where the kids will stay and when, and assure them that they will still get to see each parent, just not together anymore. This open communication will keep them from becoming anxious about the unknown (What’s happening to Mom and Dad?
