"Don't Leave Me, OK?!"

this is very normal at this age. you just have to let thrm know you will never leave them. and if you go somewhere you'll be back. try reading the kissing hand book. it is great. I had a little girl in pre school that had the same problem and we read it and also made a kissing hand for her and it worked wonders.

This is perfectly normal for this age. If she doesnt show improvement in about a month, or it appears to get worse, just mention it to your pediatrician.
But dont worry.
You could also try, "Mommy is going into the kitchen to make lunch, would you like to come help me, or stay here and...?"
Both my boys went through this, and grew out of it quickly.
E.

My 9 year old did this routinely when he was that age. I would say, "Jimmy, when have I ever left you?" and he would say "never" and then add "But don't leave me this time". It actually took a couple of years- well several- and now he's ok and very independent. But yes, it is just a normal phase.

HI C.,
I have 5 children. One of my son's is now 13 years old but when he was little he had this same problem. I was able to give him a teddy bear and explained to him that when I was not there this teddy bear was filling in for me. He was gradually able to understand that with me or with the bear he was never alone. About the age of 5 he let go of the bear as well.

I bet this problem is dealt with in the Nanny 911 book. That book was AWESOME!! I'd say that children mirror the parents responses and if you worry - they'll worry. My daughter is 18 months and tells me to GO AWAY because she is so darn independant. Mommy can't always be there for her and that is OK. :) Mommy needs a life too!

C.;

When my daughter went throught this I took a ONE STEP camera polaroid and had my oldest take a picture of me sitting on the couch smiling at my daughter giving her a "thumbs up" and she carried this picture around with and told 'me stories' she could always look at it for reasurrance and then I let her take the camera and take "MY home, MY bedroom, MY family My pet, My hobbies pictures and we made her personal story books that showed her being independent and successful at things.

Offering a child autonomy is a LOT more effective than worrying about when she will get it.

I hope this helps best of luck

J.

Rhonda gave some good insight.
Also you might consider some excursions, if you have anyone you trust that can watch her, let them for maybe 15 or 20 min the first time, then a little longer the second time build it to about an hour, or leaving her in the nursery or Sunday school class at Church. It will be hard for both of you the first few times but she will be able to learn that you always come back. That is something good for them to know, just in case something should happen sometime and you have no choice but to leave her with someone for awhile. I truly believe that even stay at home moms should let their children stay with someone besides mom & dad once in awhile just for that reason. Better for her to know your coming back before the new baby gets here than to have to go through the stress when you have the baby and are gone overnight.

My daughter went through a period of being afraid I would leave. She would even cry when she was left home with her dad and I would go to the store for a few minutes. She was about 4 and I was a stay at home mom.

She would even get upset when I would leave her at Sunday School. At the time I was working in the class just down the hall. She also knew all the workers as most of them were personal friends of mine that she had grown up knowing. Finally she was able to tell me that she had a dream that I had left without her. I assured her that I would not leave without her and the teacher would let her look out the window every so often and see our van in the parking lot.This did not go away quickly but it got better over time. She became less and less tearful when I would leave and eventually went to classes gladly and willingly.

As she got older she did not want to spend the night at her friends house or go on girl scout over nights. I would let her stay until midnight and then come and get her. Her friends were very understanding and reassuring. Just be patient and keep reassuring her that you will be back. Eventually she started staying at sleepovers. I think we each have our own fears and this is one of them.

My daughter is now 15 and very well adjusted. She's very social and has many friends. She just slowly grew out of this.

I have a five year old daughter who is the same way. I work full time and she is at day care during the day and has no problems when I leave (most of the time), but at home is another story. I can't even go to the restroom sometimes without her following me in there. I am married and have two other children, so really she isn't alone too much, but it is very important for her to be near me most of the time. But anyway, I TRY to stay calm as she follows me, and clings to me when I shut the light out to go to another room, etc. Bed time is hard too. I do the same as you, and continually reassure her and try not to scold her for the way she feels - they are real feelings of being scared and insecure. I find that if I let her know I'm going to the laundry room for a second, or running to the bathroom for a minute, etc. and just let her know that I will be right back - then she does pretty good by herself for a little bit. Just be sure that you do come right back or let her know where you are. We do a lot of night lights and even though it isn't energy efficient, I leave a hall light on or any lights on that will make her feel a little better. Your little one is still pretty little and I do think it is just a stage she is going through. Just try to keep your sanity - ha. This will pass. Good luck and good luck with the upcoming new one!

My 3 1/2 year old does the same thing to me. She doesn't even like going to the bathroom without me right with her and she definitely has to be where I am in the house. She is absoutely terrified of going upstairs to her bedroom alone. The funny thing is that she has a 2 year old brother and she will make him go places in the house with her if I am busy like he can protect her or something. Anyways she has always been this way and even had anxiety about sleeping in her crib as an infant. Her doctor says that some of it may have been developed when she was in the NICU at birth because she was born prematurely and stayed there for 59 days. We just assure her that we are not going to let anything bad happen to her and we try to explain that our home is a safe place. She started going to MDO twice a week in September and she does fine there. It is her school and she loves going! I am hoping with time that this will help her issues but so far no such luck. She loves Cinderella so the other day I found a 2 foot tall stuffed Cinderella and got that for her to have a friend to sleep with at night. She has a lot of nightmares and always ends up in bed with me and my husband at some point during the night. I too hoped it was a phase but she is 3 1/2 now and it has not gotten any better. Good Luck!!!

You might want to try and get her to open up about why she is so afraid. If she won't tell you maybe she will tell your husband or someone else she trusts. There might be a television show or something that made her afraid. My Mother always said "listen to your children" so you must get to the bottom of this because it is our responsibility to make sure that our kids feel safe and sound especially in their own home. Good Luck!

My son did this at the same age!! It began to get a little frustrating!! The way I handled it was to take him everywhere I went in the house, regardless of what he was doing. In the middle of his favorite program, if I needed to do laundry, he would come with me. While cooking dinner, he would have to be in the kitchen with me, etc. After about a week of making him follow me, to know I didn't leave the house, he requested that maybe I just tell him where I was going instead of taking him with me! It took about a week of telling him where I was going, before that started to slow down as well.I don't believe it was an anxiety problem with my son, he was just accustomed to having me do pretty much everything for him, and at the age of 3 1/2 independence is one of the qualities your child is learning. It is a little scary at first for them to be independent, but as she eases into it, she will relax a little. Good Luck and God Bless!!!

The books all say peek a boo but I'm sure she is too old for that. Try having her count when you leave the room, or sing a song and tell her you'll be back before she is done. I have read about techniques like that. Good luck!

I didn't read all the responses, but I wanted to reassure you that she will grow out of it. My son from 9 months old would only let my me, my husband or my mom keep him. The few times I had to leave him with others, he literally left the house to find me (at 2). He is just a homebody, very connected to mom and dad (and grandma). When he started preschool at 4 1/2, it got better, but some days, I would just keep him home anyway. I hope that isn't discouraging, we've just learned to accept that he likes his family! I just cherish the fact that he wants to be around me because I know there will be a time when that will change.