Daycare Help - Warrens,WI

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I absolutely agree with those that have suggested allowing your MIL to care for your son!! What a wonderful and special time for both of them. The ONLY structure your son needs at this age is boundaries and and eating/napping routine.

I'm not saying you or any of the other respondants are suggesting this, but I'm frustrated with parents being told their little ones need scheduled activities and structured learning. That is not how they learn; research has proven that for decades. They learn by exploring and discovering. Daycares (my hats off to them) usually don't have the capability to allow for this simply because of the numbers.

I would invite your MIL to care for your son as many days as she is willing; pay HER instead of daycare if needed. Your son will have PLENTY of structure in the all-to-near future.

I don't have supportive helpful parents, my mom is dead. I would jump at the opportunity to have grandparents be involved with my children, babysit and help us. If you don't want your MIL help send her my way. I had the best relationship and still do with my grandparents. Grandparents are priceless. My kids are missing out on not having any.

Kids don't need all that structure,and junk til they're getting ready for kindergarten. Let them be babies, be toddlers, be kids... what's the rush? Let Gramma love him and spoil him. What's the rush to throw our kids into the real world so fast?

My oldest (8) was shoved into a daycare her whole babyhood and caught every germ, every bug out there. She didn't get the 1 on 1 time, she didn't get the love. I let some stranger raise her pretty much. I regret it. She was at multiple centers, a home daycare and a montessori before she started school. I even sent her to preschool 2 years in a row. Let me tell you they didn't teach her much. I taught her the numbers,letters, how to write her name etc.. All she ever got from daycares and preschools was germs, socialization, and some friends she's lost complete contact with.

If your worried about his socialization etc. Have your MIL take him to story time at the library or on little outings.

Now my baby (1) is with ME all day, every day. I'm not even sure I'll send her to preschool at age4 still debating. She sure the heck isn't going to a daycare center though.

My cousin has 2 little girls (ages 1 and going to be 3 in Jan.) Her mother-in-law has the girls 2 days a week (Mon and Tues), then daycare Wed, Thurs, Fri. and then home with them on the weekends. That is there routine. They do it to save money and because Grandma really wants to the see the kids on a regular basis.

Daycare is NOT a necessity. I'm am not anti-daycare. I did daycare myself for 5 years. (It's been 4 wonderful years that I've been home with just my children now.) I just know that there are some really bad ones out there. Unfortunately I even know some and the sad fact was that the licensor agreed with me but took NO action to do anything about it. And that daycare is still running today!

If your inlaws are taking good care of your child, let them! You just truely never know what kind of care they are getting with strangers. The bad daycare I know has most of the parents fooled and the ones who know what she's like don't care because she's cheaper than most......

If your MIL is willing I would let her do so. My mother watched my oldest for a year and the relationship that formed was fantastic. The only reason she stopped watching her is because I started working at a Montessori school and she came with me. To this day the bond they have is a very special one. I still work at the Montessori school and we have a toddler program that is fantastic but I'd definately pick Grandma over our program any day at that age. The only reason I didn't choose Grandma is I wanted my daughter with me as I could stop in and see her anytime I wanted to. Good luck with your decision.

I personally would let my MIL watch my children 1-2 days a week if I could. I know so many people that have their parents watching their children and don't have to pay for daycare at all. My SIL sends her son to her parents and her husbands parents all the time. So they don't need actual daycare. I wish I could do this so I could get a job outside the house, however I can't and also can't afford daycare for 3 children, even with 2 of thembeing in school FT and only needing PT care

Take the help when you can get it. Just sit down with her and ask her to stick to your schedule, for feedings naps and such....

Let your daughter enjoy the time with Grandma while it lasts...

Unless you have something against the way your MIL cares for your son, I would take her up on her offer of 1-2 days a week. 3 days a week at daycare is enough structure for a child that age. Being with grandma and forming a close relationship with her is important too. Any with this economy, why not save yourself 2 days of daycare expense. Try it out for 6 months and see how it goes. You can always say its on a trial basis. Thats what I would do in your situation. Alot of people would be happy to have a family member help out with the child care. Its just so expensive these days. A good mixture of both won't hurt your son. It may even be good for him.

I think most kids really need routine. You have to think about it this way to. His routine is going to your inlaws and has been for a while. Why take that away if it works for all of you. I would set up a weekly scheduale for both and stick to it if you want him to go to daycare more. Daycare is good for kids to learn how to be with other kids and share, etc. I love our daycare provider and we have a second one on the way. We will be going down to part time when the second is born. They will got to daycare tue, wed and thur and my mom will watch them on mon and friday. I think as long as you stick to the same days every week and the same scheduale it will be just fine to still have your mil watch him a couple days a week. Plus you will be saving some money. Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

I take care of a little girl that goes to her grandma's a few days a week. I don't think it harms her at all. she is 20 months old and when i ask her about her grandma she gets very excited. I was partially raised by my grandparents and it was the best thing ever(i never went to daycare or pre school AS long as grandma knows your wishes about nap and food then i don't think it is that terrible. In the end only you can decide what you want for your child but i think as long as grandma's is a safe place that your child will be better off in the long run. It takes a village :)

Grandparents are invaluable. I think you need to save the money. I think to a point your MIL is right, he is only 2. How much structure and learning, scripted play, scheduling, ect. does a 2 yr old need. He needs love, attention, one-on-one time, food/drink, changed, naps. Why wouldn't your MIL be able to provide that? If you were to explane the schedule that you and your day care provide for your son and ask her to keep the same times... when it comes to feeding and napping. As for the structure, I am not sure what you mean. Can you talk with your MIL about how you would like your son to be disciplined and ask her to follow through. I do not beleive that a full time day care situation is going to make your son any more disciplined or structured. I hate the word "structured" in context to a child of such young age. He needs freedom (with boundaries) to explore and learn, of course, a safe environment to do so. People to foster that exploration and learning that will love and care for him throughout. I think that part time at both will give him variety, in toys, playmates (your MIL is a playmate as well) sceenery, learning, ect. Your son won't be overwhelmed by either, also won't get burned out. Maybe looking forward to each seperately. Everyday routine, Blahh... Throw structure out the window at this age. Think discipline and schedule, your MIL can handle that, the way you want her to. Talk to her, comunicate what you want/need for your son. Day Cares aren't everything. Read "Raising a Self-Confident Baby/Children" by Magda Gerber. She writes about what structure means for a toddler and what it doesn't.

I personally agree with you but don't think 1 day a week would hurt. I love the structure my son has at school but as long as your mil keep son the same schedule for naps and feedings, I think it would be fine. I wouldn't do more than that though because it does make adjustments harder.

Daycare is expensive...So unless your in-laws are absolute monsters why not try this?

Tell your in-laws that you'd like son to be with them for the next 3 months.

Every pay check between now and then, set aside $200-$400 bucks into a savings account.

Make a serious commitment to NOT touch that money. It is the money you would be spending if your child were in daycare.

Then, after 3 months, your child moves to daycare:
A.) At almost 2 yrs, no one can really argue that there are not social and structure benefits.
B.) In laws have had time to prepare
C.) You have saved $1,200-$2,400 to help you stay ahead of those enormous daycare bills.

Viola!

I really like Kaye's advice! And remember most kids are pretty flexible! My son spends a lot of time in 3 different households (mine, Grandma and Grandpa's, and daycare) and he seemed to instinctively "get" that each place had it's OWN routine and structure! Grandma's structure and discipline are different from mine, but as long as it's the same this weekend as it was last weekend Isaac's fine! My daycare lady has a "no shoes in the house rule" and at her house the first thing he does is plop down to have his shoes taken off, even though that's not a rule at home or at Grandma's. As long as the rules and routines of each PLACE are the same each time he's there, he should move from place to place fine....

As a child care provider and mother to 4 of my own children, I can tell you my own children thrived on routine. This is even more true as I have a 9 yo and 6 yo triplets. I have pt and ft children in my care and my ft ones do much better each day because they follow the same routine each day. They don't have mom & dad's rules, grandma's rules, and daycare rules or schedules to try to figure out and sort through. No matter the age, kids need routine. It allows them to feel safe and to know what will happen each day. Also, in a childcare setting, it is so important for them to develope their social skills as soon as possible. I think if you can afford to do so, and you and your husband both agree that this would benefit your son, then you should put him in ft care. As much as grandma may love to care for and have the time with him, ultimatly the choice is yours. Good luck.

personally i would have loved it if my mother could have cared for our kids when little. it does save on money and a little unstructured time with grandma will not harm a 2 year old. perhaps she could watch on mondays and fridays so he has 3 solid days at daycare. and come up with a plan for her so she feeds and naps him at approx the same time as daycare then there will be little interruption.

Daycare can be good. You just need to prepare yourself for a good interview. I had a daycare provider for 3 years and loved her- She did activities with the kids- Her house was so clean & she feeds the kids good stuff. Her rates are reasonable too. Depending on where you live or work I could give you more info - She is licensed & has been doing daycare for a long time-.Her husband is a retired school Social Worker. She is great - email me ____@____.com

Ps I no longer have her doing my daycare as my child is in school full time how, but would still be a reference for her.