Do Most of You Have Bad Relationships with Your Inlaws???

Well, my in laws don't speak english so fighting doesn't really happen! And its a good thing they dont! Ha ha

I've known my in-laws since I was 16, so they really are like my own family. And JUST like my own family I love them, they drive me nuts, they make me angry, they're supportive, they're helpful, they anoy me - they're *family*!!

I do love my in-laws....in moderation. The key to keeping it that way is that hubby is the primary communicator with his family and me with mine. It's a system that works well with us.

I have a bad relationship. It started off good, but my MIL has serious issues. She is narcissistic and one of the most selfish, immature people I know. I've tried SO hard with her, but I've come to terms that it's her, not me. There's nothing I can do.

My hubby has a great relationship with his in laws (my family). He seems to feel like you do about your mom about his mom. His mom doesn't seem to really be a mom. She's to selfish and hurtful, so my mom is his mom:-)

I wish it were different. I tried hard to make things work out, but some people are impossible!

2 of my sils are my best friends in life. I love them and take thier side over my brothers in a heart beat. i've got an even wierder one. my ex-mil is one of my favorite people inthe world. She chose to be granma to my 2 new kids I had with a new man! We all have holidays together. Me, my ex, his girlfriend, my new husband, all of our kids, one big happy family!

I love my In-Laws. I'm often told I am lucky to have inlaws like them.

no.. I have a better relationship with my MIL than with my own mother.. its sad...

I have an excellent relationship with my in-laws and always have. They would do anything for our family and the feeling is mutual. There have been a couple of instances of stepping on toes, but it was resolved respectfully and we all moved on -- just as it should be. When I have had issues w/ my own parents my MIL has listened and given good advice. And they are very caring and loving grandparents to our daughter. I'm lucky and I know it.

I'm happy for you, really. I get along with my MIL only because she lives in ND! I've only met her once and although it was the longest 4 days of my life, I probably won't get along with her if she lived closer! :o)

Feel lucky!!!

We no longer talk to my MIL because she's crazy... I could write a book about all we've been through with her.. We decided last summer (after our last falling out) that enough is enough and we don't need poison in our lives, just because she's my husbands "biological" mother doesn't mean we need to put up with all her crazy issues...

I personally do not get along with any of my inlaws. When my husband and I were dating, they all tried to break us up numerous times because they thought I was distracting my future husband from his full potential. When we got engaged, they tried to talk my husband out of it. Now that we're married, they are constantly critisizing our relationship and have withdrew their overall interest in my family. I keep away from them as much as possible as they bring out the worst in me. I do let my MIL see my son but that just because I dont want to punish my son from not having a relationship with his grandmother because of our differences. I do secretly wish they would all just move to another country. They live 45 mins aways right now, and thats waay to close.

My MIL and FIL are ok, although they are not the "lovey" type family. An example of that is, when they send their kids or grand kids holiday or birthday cards, they never sign it Love, ***** &******
The only one I have a problem with is hubby's sister. Not sure what her deal is with me, hubby is aware of it but doesn't know what to do about it. BIL is great though.

No I have a pretty good relationship with most of my in-laws.
But we see them a LOT and its easy to get frustrated with someone that you see 4-5 times a week. My husbands family lives closer than mine does, but if my parents lived as close as my in-laws do I would be on here venting about them a lot more.

I love my in laws. Of course they don't do everything the way I want them to, but who does?! They drive me NUTS sometimes, but such is life. I really would love it if they were more involved with the kids, but I reach out to them often and it results in time spent with the kids. I just wish I didn't have to do most of the reaching!

You are VERY lucky to have the relationship you do with your inlaws. Most don't! Cherish it!

=)

Used to LOVE my in laws... until SIL became pregnant and all of a sudden they act like they are having their first grandchild and my 3 do not exist anymore. Now.. we just get along with them.

How wonderful for you!

Mine passed away before I met my husband.

M.D.

I've often wondered the same thing! I have a great relationship with my MIL and FIL as well as a fantastic relationship with my parents. I think I actually know more people who like their in-laws than the other way around. Perhaps it's just not as fun to talk about the good stuff on-line
!

I'm glad you posted this. My in-laws are pretty great too. I'm not as close to them as I could be (probably due to my own issues), but I certainly do not have those typical MIL problems! I feel very lucky to have them in my life, and especially for my daughters. Enjoy your family!!

I have always gotten along with my in-laws too....... have there been times, especially in the beginning where we had rough patches? YES! But we all worked on it and have had very loving relationships for many many years.

I love MY Mommy the best though.

Not great with my MIL & FIL, but gets better as time goes on. Or maybe it just bothers me less. My husband's brother and his wife are fine, but a bit gossipy about other family members, so I try to steer clear of those types of conversations.

My brother's wife is like the sister I never had, but it took us a while to get used to each other, too. I think she truly loves my parents.

It takes work and commitment.

My parents and hubbys parents live within a few minutes from us. We have great relationships with both sets of parents. I am happy to see that you are the same way with your in-laws. It is nothing for me to spend an entire afternoon hanging out with my Mom or my MIL or both. I feel very lucky that both sets of parents are involved so much in our life and in our kids. Our kids get to do so much more since we both work full time plus Grandma or Grandpa always help with the running. Having 3 and a 10 month old we do a ton of running between baseball, softball, soccer, swim team, piano lessons, and whatever camps they are going to at that moment.

I love my in laws, they are wonderful, especially my MIL! She has been the BEST grandma and has been way more of a mother to me than my own mom. During those rare times when I get REALLY pissed at my husband and think about how I might be better off without him, I stop and think of how much I love and would miss his family, lol :)

I LOVE my SIL...I wish she lived next door. She is the sister I would have picked if you got to pick one. I adore her!

MIL is not involved with us at all. No FIL.

So yeah, I love my in-laws.

I love and hate my in laws... they must be family!!!

We rent a basement apartment from my in laws. It makes a lot of sense for our whole family... I wouldn't do that if I truly "hated" them. My mother in law and I butt heads on a lot of things... but once you figure out how to get past a million "little things"- I find we get along OK. She is pretty moody, and so most of my challenges with her are because the tiniest little thing at random will "set her off" - especially criticism. Therefore, I have learned to pick my battles wisely, and if she does get angry- I go into silent mode unless I feel strongly about whatever is going on.

I think MIL's are hard for a lot of moms to get a long with... because they hold about the same amount of "sway" over their son's as the wife does. They have a different way of doing things- from cleaning to cooking to child rearing and (like all moms) they tend to feel their way is the best way (or why would they have done it?). Add in the general "grandma spoiling" issues and it can make a MIL relationship tense to say the least.

For me, I have learned to pick my battles with my mother in law, and my husband has learned to NOT take it personally when I have to vent to him about her. I have learned that if I make an effort to have a nice relationship with her 99% of the time it will be. There are days when she is like the best friend I could ever have... we chat and joke and have a blast together... But sometimes she is more of a "monster in law" LOL! (Although, to be fair I think she sometimes feels the same way about me).

What we share is her son, and our children and we both really love and value our family. I DO feel blessed to have a woman like her in my family's life, even if she sometimes makes me crazy!

-M.

PS: I think it is great you have a wonderful relationship with your in laws. It is hard work to sew to families, with different "patterns" - into one unit. But for those who can figure it out, it is pretty wonderful!

I've had a roller coaster ride with my MIL but most of the time it's been a good relationship. She's very old school Italian and she blames much of her, ummmm, MIL-ness on her not-so-good-uh-Engl-eeesh. Yeah, uh huh. I love her and she's a good wife, mother, grandmother, above all. If she has room to spare she's a good MIL. I get it that I'm low on the pecking order.

I have always wanted to be really close with my in-laws and it really hurts at times that I'm not. It's not from lack of trying...but here is what I've concluded. In my case, there could not be more polar opposites that my parents and my husband's parents. So I really think that just the way I am and the way I do things seems weird and wrong to them, and vice versa. I was raised in a very laid-back, almost unorganized home. Hubby was in a very structured, almost OCD home. So just the fact that I am not a perfect housekeeper or planner drives my in-laws crazy. It's just been hard to relate to each other. I think I offend them at times without even realizing it...because in my family, no one would be offended by something so silly. But they are very easily offended. It's a learning process and I'm not there yet! May never get there. I do try though. But unfortunately, to have a "relationship" you gotta have both sides trying. But I think it's awesome that you have that kind of relationship with your in-laws...I would LOVE that!

I think it's great that you have these relationships. Cherish and nurture them, and show your love and appreciation back at those inlaws! I think a lot of people have good ones too - they just don't write it to vent about them! And it's not horrible to say you love your MIL more than your mother - it's what it is. At least you are honest, and at least you are so appreciative of what you DO have from the family you married into!

My mom dies a year and a half ago, I don't miss her at all.

I miss my MIL nearly every day and wish with all my heart that the docs in my town had listened to her and found the small cell liver cancer much much sooner. I'd rather have her any day of the week.

Absolutely not - my MIL is an angel. Does she make me insane wevery once in a while - of course. But doesn't everyone at some point?

I love my in laws with the exception of 1 SIL. She is a miserable person and although at times she can get along with the rest of the family- she has it out for me lately. But I just shrug it off. I love my MIL and FIL and wouldn't hesitate to call,visit or whatever any time.

I love my MIL and FIL, and I know they love me....but that doesn't mean we don't drive each other crazy. =)

I always Laugh and say I'm the Odd ball :-) I'm sooo lucky to have Wonderful Loving Caring in laws!! I'm Very Thankful for that ! You hear so many horror stories, it breaks my heart !

Nope. I have a very good relationship with all my in-laws. They are family. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. It is important to my hubby and kids!

My in-laws are wonderful people. They just drive me nuts. And, I drive them crazy, too, I know.

But, I am trying to remember, that I grew up with a very different type of family, in a culture that was just different enough to cause us to come to odds from time to time. They were a close-knit family from the urban northeast; we were a far-flung family (with a penchant for holding grudges!) from rural Texas. They're a social bunch; we're intensely private people. They relied heavily on their parents to help with the grandkids; my parents didn't get along with their parents, so we saw our grandparents sporadically at best. (It's taken me a long time to realize that I don't know what a healthy grandparent relationship looks like, and so it's hard for me to watch, not knowing what's normal and what's over the top. To me, it's all over the top!)

I'm trying, I really am. One of my most frequent prayers, for handling both my in-laws and my kids, is for help with patience and understanding.

Thank heaven, my husband understands this, too.

Basically non-existent. We don't have much in common so attempts at more than brief polite conversation are awkward.

My in-laws are wonderful. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

I also love and get along great with my inlaws

I have a love-hate relationship with my in-laws. They are so very different from my family and they are kind of whiny and selfish where my family is a 'suck-it-up' kind of family. It's hard to deal with- but they are also very giving and helpful. My MIL would do absolutely anything for anybody any time. It's hard to dislike a person like that. :)

SIL is great, just like a sister to me. MIL and FIL are very distant but from what my hubby and his sister say they have been like that forever. I just fee bad that my kids do not know all of their grandparents.

Yes, not really, no and no.

This question made me laugh, but only because I have four mother in laws. My hubby's mom has been married... huh, well I am not sure how many times actually and my hubby stayed pretty close with a few of the step fathers along the way.

So I have a great relationship with one step mom (she is amazing), a good relationship with his birthmom (now that she is in AA), an ok relationship with his birth dad's wife, (she is a few states away) and I am not very fond of his other step mother. (she started out great, but now she is very self ritious and not easy to deal with)

I LOVE my inlaws! They are great! My MIL is just like my hubby, so we get along great and she is the type of MIL who doesn't get in our business, give us her opinions unless asked...all that good stuff! My step-FIL is a very hard person to like. My hubby has never really gotten along with him, but I get along with him great. I don't really know why...we just get along well. Actually, he was just diagnosed with PTSD(he was in Vietnam) so everyone else in the family now knows why they don't get along with him all the time. And we never got the chance to meet my hubby's dad...he died when my hubby was just 6 months old. I think that is the reason my MIL is so awesome...she's been thru hell and came out just fine.

And my hubby gets along great with his inlaws. My dad was a little hard on him in the beginning...his little girl and we may have gotten pregnant before we were married...but they have bonded and really get along great and my dad never had a son, so I think he's making up for that! And my mom and hubby are too funny together...they like to pick on each other...in a fun, i love you kind of way...they adore each other!

I've never physically met my MIL, and I can't talk to her on the phone because she doesn't understand English and I don't understand Czech. We correspond online thru facebook (mainly for pictures) and email (google has a translation program)...

We were hoping to go visit her up in Europe as a family, until we realized how expensive it would be. We may consider paying for her to come to us for a week or two.

Nope - my ILs are lovely people and I'm lucky to have them in my family. They've always been kind and welcoming to me, and we all get along great. I get along well with my own family too, as does my husband. Sometimes I think it's all in the expectations.

I get along with my in-laws and BIL and SIL's great. However we don't see them much and don't chat by phone, email very much.

i do not LOVE my boyfriends family (close enough to be inlaws) but i dont hate them either, it depends on theday i love that they are there for me and our daughter and opened their home to me and her so her dad could be there everyday and we didnt have to travel 2 hrs every other week to spend time with him.

My MIL and I have had some run-ins over the years, mainly while my in-laws were living with us, but we both love each other very much. She is a difficult person to tolerate, but that seems to be one of my strengths. My FIL is fantastic, but can be annoying, as he asks questions incessantly. There is a huge cultural divide between us, but we have come to respect each other over time, and to learn to tolerate our differences. It helps that they now live 1500 miles away ;-)

I don't have a FIL, and my MIL lives with us. She is great, and is like my mother..of course there are instances (just like with my parents) where I wish I can go off on her, or try to converse in a civil manner about certain issues, but I dont cuz she doesnt speak much English, and to me, conflicts are better spoken in English than my native language....

Yes, I have a bad relationship with them. But then, so does my husband!