Anger Management (Book?)

"The Solution: Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future" by Lucinda Bassett

She has helped many people and Corporations from: AT&T, McDonald's, the LPGA, AIDS Foundation, and has appeared on Oprah.

It helps, the overall person. Of which "Anger" may be one issue.
"Anger" for some people, being just the way they express, Stress, or "Worry", for example.
"Anger" is the outcome of a person's stress or whatever.
And it is sabotaging, for you and others.

Good book.
Easy to read.
And you will learn about yourself.

My Husband, got me this.
I read it.
It is good.
Good for ANYONE. Negativity or not.
It can help anyone, be successful and to learn better ways of handling themselves. The overall, person.

The book says it helps with "anxiety or depression."
But, I don't have that problem, mine was stress.
So, the book to me, is not about 'anxiety' or 'depression'... but INSTEAD about how to improve the manner, in which you 'react' to things. Hence, Stress and then "anger"... which in your case, is expressed by "yelling."

So that is the way I look at it and how I read the book.
Per how to self-improve. Overall.
And how other very successful people, handle difficulty.
The book, is helpful in learning alternate ways, to handle difficulty.... and how to 'react' in better ways.
No matter how you grew up.

The Author herself, had a very bad childhood. And she talks about how she overcame all those issues, to better herself.

Anyone, can... improve themselves.

But like anything, no book or method will work, unless the person themselves 'wants to' improve.

all the best,
Susan

Screamfree Parenting
She's Gonna Blow
Take Charge of your Anger
others...
The fact there are so many books out there helps me out simply knowing it is a common problem...

"nonviolent communication" by rosenberg is great. it really encourages you to put yourself in others' shoes and see where they're coming from, instead of instantly getting mad. congrats on trying to do better!

Sorry H. I don't have a book recommendation.
The fact that you wrote this post in the first place is a very positive thing.
As you said you grew up with a yelling parent so try to think of this and take a few breaths and consciously make a big effort to put a halt to the yelling before it even starts.
Wishing you all the strength to have some more patience and calmess in your life.
All the best
B.

Anger management book? The Bible.

Read "A Walk in the Woods" -maybe you just need to laugh more. There's always mothers little helper-Prozac.

I am the same way and I hate it! Somtimes I feel like such a horrible person. I have tried groups, books, etc. What I ended up finding is that I have severe PMS. I now take a very low dose of anti-depressants to help with it. If you find it is worse during this time, you can also consider the pill, they have some specifically for these symptoms. Hang in there, I know how horrible it is for you and everyone in your family.

Hi H.:
Just because I connected with your question as I too tend to be a yeller in my family, and I wanted to see what responses you got, I can suggest what I have done for myself without the use of reading a book.
I live with my boyfriend (stay-at-home-dad) and father of my son (now 4 yrs old) and I am sole provider of everything, money, food, gas, entertainment, etc. I get sleep deprived from too much work inside and outside of the home and a rambunctious 4 yr old especially when as soon as I get home after work - all adults seem to disappear and leave me with my son. I love my son without a doubt but come on! Any man would say let me get my sweats on, a cold beer, and read my newspaper before I handle the kids oh and by the way?! Where is my dinner?
Forget that! I usually end up making dinner too.
So ya think my anger level boils occasionally? YUP!
I have told my boyfriend and even my son - if you ever see me getting more and more stressed and my voice raising, then stop what you are doing immediately and change so I reduce my level of stress and slow down my blood flow. My boyfriend I do not believe will ever learn but that actually has helped me because when I see that I am losing it and I am now able to feel when my blood is starting to boil (I actually feel my face flush) - I step away and say to myself, if you can't change what you see making you mad - change yourself and walk away and ignore. My son on the other hand, knows even before I am getting loud and comes up to me and says Mama, you okay? I take care of you. That in itself, ices the flames immediately and all I can do is hug him and say - you are the best. I love you!
Yelling I know too can be destructive - but I always say to my friends and family - If it gets to the point of me yelling - then that means I do not feel I am being heard so make it so I do and I will stop yelling. After that, if it is really something I was way out of line on, when all is calm, talk with me and who knows, I learn a lesson and so does everyone in the house.
Good luck to you and hope the books help if you read them. Me, reading doesn't make the difference because I am expecting more from reality than what I decipher from reading.
T.

Robert Thurman's book, ANGER, really helped me understand and transform my anger issues:) It's short and spiritual.

The Dance of Anger - an old one, I think.
How to talk so your kids will listen, listen so your kids will talk - gives you other approaches to use and helps remind us why yelling won't actually get the results we're so desperately crying out for.
And for me personally, some daily (5-15 minutes) of sitting silent - aka meditation. It really makes me less volatile, even if I don't figure out the meaning of life!
Reading some spiritual stuff (buddhist, MLK speeches, etc that interest you) can be really inspiring to keep working toward a better you and family life!

Best of Luck. I know what you're talking/yelling about!

Sometimes you can't help it! But I suggest checking your thyroid to rule out any problems there.

Try to take a deep breath before you yell and see if you can at least lower the voice...? Good luck!

Hi, saw this question and the answer and remembered I had this book-marked from a few years ago:

https://www.cnvc.org/
(website of the book mentioned below)

I understand where you are coming from! There are some days when I feel like I should take some type of magic "chill pill"; and some days when I have no idea why I get so stressed. (hmmm, maybe I do need meds?) Anyway- I have thought about talking to someone- but for now, doing some self-help is as far as we can take it due to insurance/finances/time- but I have not ruled out talking to a therapist completely. Lately- I have asked my husband to bear with me- and to be OK with me taking "breaks" when I feel myself getting close to yelling/angry. It's frustrating to him b/c it may be in the middle of a discussion or a busy day- but that 10 minutes alone to clear my head, do some breathing, and focus on positive thoughts really helps.

Good for you for being so in touch with yourself and how it effects your family! I also grew up in a yelling family (italian new yorkers!) and to this day my parents are so fast-reacting and angry/defensive that it gets in the way of a good adult relationship with them! So I see the long-term effects it can have on my own kids. I work full time and have an active 7 and 5 year old- and some days it's harder than others. On a slightly humorous note: the other day I yelled at my son when we were getting home- a few minutes later he came to me with his dry-erase board and written on it was:

Mommy = 60% yelling, 40% love, and 100% laundry.
(he loves math and relates everything to numbers)

Wow- that hurt and was a bit of an eye opener, even though he and I laughed about it and he said it was only representative of that particular day- and then he changed it later to some nicer numbers lol.
oh- and also- I hate laundry, am really bad at keeping up with it, and so the 100% laundry was probably due to the fact that I talk about/complain about it more than actually get to DO it lol.

How interesting that you bring this up right now. I am heading off to my kids' school to put up flyers regarding a guest speaker coming, a local parenting coach, and her presentation is titled "Be a scream free parent". You might want to check out a parenting coach in your area and enlist&hire their help for a few sessions to help give you tools.

I suggest picking up a book I saw at the library titled, "Scream Free Parenting, Raising Your Kids By Keeping Your Cool" by Hal Edward Runkel.

Not yelling and keeping cool under pressure is a common struggle mamas deal with. You are not alone!! I have learned that yelling only undermines my goal and my family tunes me out. I no longer yell...I keep cool under all circumstances. It is a goal I work on daily and have it always at the back of my mind. I have told my kids I don't want to yell and Mommy needs help in this so let's work together.( I personally don't struggle with yelling at my husband.) Setting boundaries, expectations and consequences has helped also..and we try to have a lot...I mean alot of fun when we are all together. I also try to focus on the good behavior and not so much the bad. We use lots of rewards for good behavior...not expensive.

You are yelling out of exhaustion,frustration and it let's off steam. But it is not helping solve your problems. Keep that in mind, breathe, take a 5 minute time out to get yourself under composure, go for a walk, go outside and vent to the wall but not in front of your kids. You mentioned growing up with yelling parents... I am so sorry...don't continue the cycle. Make it stop with you. Keep in mind that you are modeling the parents your children will become. Understand that it is a tremondous responsibility. Get your husband on board. Read the book together and do some role playing of how you both will deal with certain frustrating situations.

Also, it would help if you got your 4 month old on a good sleeping schedule..by 4 months old they can physically and physiologically sleep throught the night. Work on that and I think that will also help with your short fuse. All 3 of my kiddos were sleeping through the night by 12 weeks and I soley nursed. My godsend of a book is "Sleeping Through the Night-How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good's NIght Sleep" by Jodi Mindell, Phd. If it had only worked for one of mine I wouldn't suggest...but all 3. Was not just a fluke...It is amazing.

Good luck. I hope you get a lot of good suggestions and find what will work for you.

Hi, H.
I was in the same boat as you when my kids were little, so let me start by saying that, for me, it got better as my kids got a little older and I was more able to reason with them. When they're little, you just can't, and (love them as you do,) it can drive you crazy...I know. I found a book that helped me so much, called "She's Gonna Blow: Real Help for Moms Dealing With Anger," written by Julie Ann Barnhill. I'll let you know upfront that it is written from a Christian perspective, but I can testify (as do other mothers in reviews that I've read) that it is not at all preachy, but rather is so down-to-earth and practical. I have another book by the same author called "Motherhood: The Guilt that Keeps on Giving"...it's fantastic, too! Because, let's face it; us mommies are so good at finding things to feel guilty about! I hope that this helps you, H.. It can feel so yucky to be a yeller when that's not the mommy that you wanted to be. Don't lose hope that things can get better.

J.