It would help to know if he takes over, cooking what you've planned but still working with you or does he bring the food and literally not want you in the kitchen or something in between.
It's never wrong to want to do what you want. It's wrong to insist that your way is the only way. That just doesn't work. I suggest that you find a way to work with your fil. It's too late to change much for this year but during the year you can talk diplomatically with him about how you'd like it to be next year.
For this year you can work on changing your attitude. Start by accepting that this is the way it is this year and see if you can make some small changes that help you feel better without hurting his feelings. If you haven't talked with him about how you feel about this situation already, it's too much to expect that he knows how you feel. People cannot read our minds.
Think good thoughts about your fil and dinner. If you want to help, insist that you do so. Tell him that you appreciate him cooking and that you'd like to do such and such as the day goes along. Perhaps turn the whole deal into something fun. Call him the head chef with a smile in your voice and on your face. Fake it until you make it. Ask him what he wants you to do or tell him what you, as the sous chef, is going to do. Make the best of the situation for this Christmas.
Then during the year have several conversations with him, outlining how you'd like next year to go. If possible find a way let him do some of the cooking. My Dad loved to cook the turkey. He took pride in getting up early to put it in the oven. He'd involve my Mom and me in making the dressing, peeling the potatoes. The granddaughter set the table. It was a family affair and loads of togetherness fun. This wouldn't have worked if any of us felt that we had to be the head chef. Our attitude was that this was a family dinner put together by the family.
If you want to do the whole thing by yourself, wow! That's a tremendously big job that keeps you away from socializing. Perhaps you just want to be head chef and that's OK. It is your kitchen. IF that's the case when it comes close to Christmas ask your fil what he envisions for Christmas dinner and the two of you decide on the menu. You diplomatically let him know that you're going to be the head chef and that you'll appreciate his help.
First you'll have to find a way to get rid of your anxiety over dinner. Change your attitude to one of co-operation before you approach him and this should work out much better.
If you don't want him in the kitchen at all, tell him so diplomatically. Be open to the family making different plans. You'll be changing tradition and this is difficult to do without hard feelings. Say that you want to fix dinner but be willing to do it at a different time. Make compromises so that everyone can have a say and be happy.