All They Do Is Fight!

Updated on April 01, 2011
T.C. asks from Deep Gap, NC
10 answers

My daughters are 4 years old and 18 months old. I love them to peices and they are my everything. But all they do is fight! From the time they get up in the morning till the time they go to bed, they are arguing and fighting over everything... I need some ways to help them get along better before they drive me crazy.... what do you guys do???

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

This was so me and my sister! We are just two completely different people. Always have been, but hand in there it usually gets better. My sister and I are very close now, even though we are so different. My dad had the best way to get us to stop fighting, he made us sit on the couch and hold hands. UGHH we HATED it! But it worked, we would stop fighting.

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

I put whatever they are fighting over in time out, I separate them for a period of time if necessary, and try to praise them whenever I catch them playing nice with one another (good job sharing, taking turns, etc.).

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from St. Louis on

time out for both of them. take away whatever they are fighting over, tell them its going to the trash man. my 3 are all 2 yrs apart and they wrestle around more than fight but the time outs and threatening to throw away the toys always work for them.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Earplugs . . . lol. It's hard, but unless it is getting violent, let them figure it out. The sooner they can do that, the easier it will be on everyone and they will hopefully learn to get along on their own. The more you intervene, the less likely they are going to problem-solve on their own.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

I don't always know who started it, so the toy goes into time-out at my house. My girls are 20 months apart (4.5 and almost 3 years) and fight quite a bit.

At first, I would butt-in and rescue my younger daughter, but now I let them figure it out - unless it gets physical or out of hand. I encourage co-operative play (do the puzzle together) and praise them when they are playing nicely.

I've also started to tell them how special sisters are. How it's like having a built-in best friend and someone to play with all the time. Of course, nothing bonds them quite so well as having a common enemy - me, when I tell them no! hahaha

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Your 18 mo old is a little too young, yet.. .but in just a short time, she won't be. Read "1-2-3 Magic". It will help you address this issue with your kids. This is an issue that will always be lurking around the corner with siblings.... so you will need to know how to handle it long term.

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

Mine are 2 and 5 so I know what you mean. Sometimes it help to just get them out to run around or doing an activity. On occasion I send them to play in separate rooms. Time outs and taking toys away works too. On a good day I suggest some solutions for them to resolve things. For example I have been trying to teach my 5 year old he can't grab toys away from his sister, he has to trade her for another toy. Of course I've been trying to teach him this for the last year and a half and it hasn't stuck yet. I read a book on teaching kids conflict resolution skills but mine aren't quite old enough for it yet.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Not to discourage you but some siblings never get along.
My sister and I fought like cats and dogs and to this day we can't be in the same room 15 min before the bickering starts up.
Try not to force them together all the time if it's just not working out.

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't have a magic solution. But I can give you some perspective. I felt that way too. I still feel that way with my daycare kids. But I can tell you that my girls are very close as adults even though I wasn't always sure they would be. I have some kids in my daycare that have been together for 2, 3, 4, and even 5 years. The longer they are together the more the line between love and hate gets blurred.

S.L.

answers from New York on

It will help if they spend less time together, have play dates for the older child, keep the little one away if she has a friend over, let her attend activities for her age group etc. When mine were in school they were ok but in the summer they were together too much!

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