2Nd Wedding Ettiqute

I will jump in and say wear what you want, invite who you want and showers seem to always be best received if thrown by family or friends and not yourself. I do get the loss of many items in your divorces however traditionally I believe the shower is for the first and I understand traditionally if you snooze you lose. However I know that traditionally baby showers are for the first and I have also heard of something called a baby sprinkle when one is looking for a few new things for a second or later child because it is a different gender or you want to receive items are are used up or well used after the first child. So it may be okay to have a shower for this wedding but if no one will host it for you I would not look to host it on your own.

Personally, I say wear what you want to wear and do what makes you happy. Life it too short to worry about the small stuff. If you found a partner to spend your life with than celebrate and who cares what any one else thinks. If you want to wear white then do it. Women who give birth prior to their wedding or are pregnant in their weddings wear white, so why shouldn't a second marriage carry the same merit. I say register, because guests who attend the wedding will want to bring something you want or need. If you are still close to the ex's family and they are your "friends" that happen to be related to the ex, then invite them. Their feeling may get hurt unjustly if you don't invite them based on their relative. Have a shower, hosted by some one else and enjoy this new start in your life.

If there are items you 'need' I think its ok to register, dont put it on or in your invitations, word of mouth is fine or if they ask. If someone wants to host a bridal shower that is perfectly ok these days also. I wouldnt wear true white, but ivory or off white is ok and the latest trend anyway. Do away with a veil if you're over 40, just not age appropriate. If you are still close to the cousins its ok to invite them, I am sure out of respect to their cousin, your ex, they wont go on about your wedding to him. PS Congrats and enjoy your day!

I got married twice, it was a second wedding for us both. I was told I couldn't wear white, couldn't have a big wedding, couldn't have showers, it was tacky to register, etc. Don't listen! This is a new marriage and new beginning for you both. Celebrate it the way you want!

I would have bought a white dress if I hadn't fallen in love with a pink one. Pink is my favorite color, so the sparkly pale pink dress was perfect!

I did not have any showers and I wish I would have. Regardless of the gifts, showers to me are just time to spend with close friends and family to celebrate before your big day. I would have LOVED to have a shower for that reason, forget the gifts!

I didn't have a bachelorette party because I had been married before, I regret that. It would have been nice to have a spa day with friends (no going out necessary!)

We did register, and that was wonderful. It helps people to know what to buy.

I don't think a second wedding need be small or inexpensive if you don't want it to be. It shouldn't be "embarrassing" to be married a second time! You're paying for it, it should be the party you want! My mother spent a lot of time making me feel like I had to be low-key because I already "got a wedding." I threw those pictures away. This is what I have pictures of now, this is what I'll be showing my kids and grandkids. Luckily it turned out to be exactly the wedding we wanted (I didn't listen to my mom on everything!) and I have wonderful memories!

As for the cousins of your ex--why not invite them? If they feel uncomfortable they'll make their excuses. You could even hand-deliver their invites and say "I would like to share my special day with you, but if you feel uncomfortable, I totally understand."

Congrats!

What you've described sounds perfect! If someone wants to throw you a shower, that's fine as is registering-just don't throw the shower yourself! Wearing white has been thrown by the wayside so much that most think nothing of it if a bride wears white for her second wedding. Technically you're only supposed to wear it if yoy're a virgin, and how often iscthat the case- regardless of what number wedding it is! I never planned to wear white for my wedding, but the dress that was "the one" happened to be white, and we had been living together for a year. My mother and her friends were all etiquette queens, but thought nothing of the fact my dress was white!

A girl I worked with had a second wedding and she wore a beautiful ecru suit and she and her groom picked out three charities that guests could make a donation to if they so chose.

Your situation sounds a little more casual than hers so maybe a beautiful cream/white/ecru dress? I personally don't think there should be a shower for a 2nd wedding but that may just be me.

Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be perfect! have a beautiful day.

I would choose an off-white or a white with color added if you want to go by etiquette. Go ahead and have a shower and invite whoever you would consider a friend. (assuming you don't already live together, if you do live together currently then a shower is definitely considered tacky)
Yes, people bring gifts to weddings. That doesn't matter what # wedding it is. Register and let people know where it is (Facebook is good for that).

Congratulations!

I'd say that if someone wants to give you a shower, thank them lovingly and enjoy it! Register if you have a shower. I'd talk to the cousins to see if they'll be comfortable coming. Tell them you'd love to have them there but don't want to cause them any tension, then follow their lead. I think people will get you gifts but I'd wait on the registry till somebody talks to you about it. If people give you money as gifts, you can sure use it to suit your needs. Your ideas about the wedding are charming & it should be lovely. I know brides who wear white for a second wedding but personally I don't like the idea. Off-white or champagne would be more appropriate. I wore royal blue for mine in the 70's but that was me. You don't need to be embarrassed to be celebrating this marriage but I wouldn't go whole-hog either. Enjoy!

In my opinion, you can do whatever the heck you want for whatever wedding you want. Wear white if you want, wear purple if you want. It's YOUR wedding, do what makes you happy. Have a shower if you want.

Congrats and have FUN.

I have been married twice and my mom paid for my first wedding so everything was what she wanted. This wedding I got to choose what I wanted. I had the formal wedding dress, the long train, full trio of attendants, tons of flowers, floser girl, ring bearer, everything!

I did what I wanted and wouldn't do it different if I ever get married a third time. I think what you are describing will be a nice informal ceremony. I think you can wear whatever you want and then change to do the cooking. I would go ahead and register, people will ask your family where and friends too, they should all know. I think having a shower is also acceptable. The guests will bring gifts and why shouldn't they have the opportunity to know what you want. I don't think I would print the registry information on the invitations or anything but if someone asks they can find the information easily.

I would think you should treat it as the first. Ask your maid of honor to have a low key shower where the focus is on the fun not the gifts, register and include the info on the invites just be price minded, wear what you want to wear there are some BEAUTIFUL second wedding dresses in white and many other colors, invite who you think will be there for all the same reasons you want them to be there for. Have fun and enjoy the day!

I would say second marraiges are great and all that and do what ever you want but keep it to your close friends and family. especially those aquaintances that Already did go whole hog for you, i am personally not as enthusiastic about aquaintances and their second wedding extravaganza's. just my opinion.

I think people should do what they want with their weddings. Personally.

My husband had been married once before, but he got married in his parents back yard and it was kind of a "she's pregnant, you have to do it" kind of thing. It didn't last a year.
12 years later, when we got married, he wanted a real wedding. It was my first so I'm glad he felt that way. We paid for everything ourselves. We didn't register for gifts. We didn't ask for gifts.
We only had our closest friends and family members. It was beautiful. I had a formal wedding dress and he and his attendants all wore tuxes.
Our reception was at our beautiful home and we had tons of food and drinks.
Cake! It was a wonderful celebration. I wouldn't have changed a single thing.

I know many people that feel with their second marriage, it's a chance to get things right, in more ways than one. So, what the marrying couple want is pretty much up to them.
My friends got married in their living room in front of their fireplace and with all the flowers we put around, it looked really lovely. Most of their expense was the food they supplied for their guests. They were just so happy to be actually getting married. It was a pretty fun time, I must say. Most of the guests just stayed there that night and the couple went on a trip a couple weeks later. It was exactly how they wanted it. So....to each his and her own when it comes to these things.

I hope you have a wonderful time and you'll stay deeply in love.
That's the main thing.

Hi, Our friend is getting married this summer and in a similar situation. He has not been married before but she has. They are having a full shower & did register. If you don't have a shower I believe it's acceptable to register and put that information in the wedding invitation.
Enjoy your engagement, wedding and marriage!