My 10 month old daughter started daycare 1 month ago 3 days a week and after 1 month we have started her fulltime. Before then she was at home with my hubby or mom. During the first month she cried at drop off and when she saw my hubby at pick up but basically was adjusting well after 1 week. Usually she is fine at pick up playing on the mat until she sees one of us and then proceeds to cry until we pick her up. She naps well and eats well while she is there. Just last week she started going 5 days a week and the caregivers say she has been crying off an on and not her usual self. I must add I have been the drop off person for the last 3 days and my husband use to be. I think this is making it worse. But he started a new job so that will be the routine from here on out. For the last two days I call in the morning and the care givers say she looks at the door and will cry off and on. There is one caregiver that she likes which told me she is fine as long as she is in her arms lap etc but as soon as she leaves the room she will begin to cry. The center has usually 6-8 infants with 2 caregivers so she cannot hold her all day. My dilema is if I should quit my job so I don't feel so guilty leaving my baby to cry off an on? Is this the right setting for her or is she just going through major seperation anxiety? Any advice would be helpful.
Side note: the caregivers are very sweet, the daycare is run nicely and I dont get any bad vibes. Both my hubby and I transitioned her for like 7 days before leaving her all day on her own.
I agree with Robin and Leah . . . if there's any way you can do it my vote would be to stay home. This time is so short and so precious.
Interesting article: http://healthland.time.com/2010/09/29/no-such-thing-as-to...
As a daycare provider I can tell you this is a rough age in term of separation anxiety. Give it some more time for her to transition to you dropping her off in the a.m.--and then stick to that routine for a loooong time so she doesn't backslide. I would make the morning transition quick and painless like a bandaid being pulled off. If you stay way longer some mornings than others her little brain is wondering "Is mommy staying her with me today?" If you need to continue working --it is how it is! I have to run a daycare in my home which means 5 days a week my girls have to share me--yes I get to be their main caregiver but my attention is constantly divided during daycare hours and after as I catch up with the house and shopping I missed while I was on duty. Children adjust to many different kinds of care situations--she will be okay. One caveat --you may want to find a center or home with a better ratio of providers to infants. If she is with one provider each day she might do better. Best of luck--please don't feel guilty. Kids that get their moms sole attention each day miss out on the social interaction on a daily basis and if I just stayed at home I would feel bad for all the housework I had to do while my child wanted my attention. Kids have to deal with not being the center of attention all the time no matter what the setting!
If you never have plans to go back to work full time then by all means, quit and stay home. If, however, you eventually want to return to the work force outside of the house full time, DO NOT QUIT.
From personal experience, getting a job after being a stay-at-home mom for an extended time means it becomes EXTREMELY difficult to find work when you're ready to go back.
Give her time, this is all very very new to her. She'll adjust just fine in time I'm sure. If you're comfortable with the daycare and the way it's run then stick it out a little longer and get rid of the guilt.
My son never adjusted to change well. He would give us such a hard time when dropping him off that I was certain he would never adjust. But he did. I think separation anxiety could be a major factor here. So she will probably cry and carry on when you guys leave her anywhere, not just at daycare.
The best thing to do is just make the drop off quick. Don't linger, or give lots of hugs and kisses. Talk to the teacher and ask her to take her quickly when you arrive so you can shoot right out.
I would say not to quit your job over this. You can't just change your whole life each time your baby is upset or cries. You will encounter this more and more as she grows. I know it seems horrible now- trust me I know. But I can tell you it's 10 times more difficult for you than she. :)
It can take a child 8 weeks to get use to a day care routine.
You changed her routine a month into it, so she's adjusting all over again.
Give her a full 8 weeks from your last schedule change.
She's also at an age where separation anxiety sets in - they all get it sooner or later - and she'd get it whether you stayed at home with her or whether she goes to day care.
She's getting some interaction with some other kids (though they don't play together for a few years yet) and she's getting use to someone other than Mom and Dad looking after her.
I wouldn't quit working over this.
She's doing fine!
Goodness, she will get used to this. I would not be surprised if she stops it all together within a couple of weeks. She is just learning to adjust. She is taking a bit longer but she has not had much consistency up til now. Each time you guys change the routine you are starting over. Even if dad is home you take her and keep to the routine. She was getting used to the routine and his new job changed that routine. Stick to the same thing for now.
She will get used to it. In a few months she'll be moving up to the next classroom and will go through a bit of adjustment then too but within a couple of months she'll be a pro at this and just fine.
I know everyone has different opinions, mine is if you can quit your job, do it. You won't have a small child forever - it is just a short time. Enjoy it.
See if there is a way.
If someone HAS to work they have to and that's it. IF you have the possibility of not working, and can stay home, I would do it.
I used to work 3 days a week and had a nanny. Now my 2 older ones are in school and my 10 month old is home w me. I work while he naps, about 3 hours a day, from home.
I am making less money than I was, but saving on child care. I have never been happier. My kids are so happy. I am there after school every day, and to take them in the morning, and for any class trips or special events in school. It's really worth being tighter on money, in my opinion.
If you are able to quit your job, it sounds like a good idea-I cannot tell you how tiny this little window of time is with a young child-it goes incredibly fast and you would not want to leave her care up to someone other than yourself unless it is imperative.
I wonder if she does not feel well? Teething etc.. Upset tummy.,.
Remember at home you all give her undivided attention. You respond to every peep. At day care, there are more children and the caregivers cannot always carry her around, respond immediately etc.
Could be she is so used to your immediate responses, it is confusing to her at daycare. Just something to consider.
i would give it two weeks and if she hasnt adjusted by then i would think about quitting if that is an option. Also keep in mind that it does take small kids some time to get used to these things.
I'd hang in there. It's only been three days since you have been dropping her off. It's a whole new routine. It will get better. As she gets older, she will know and understand the routine and go with it.
My goodness, don't quit your job over this if you like what you are doing! My son started going to daycare at 5 months when I went back to work. I felt incredibly guilty because I also hated what I was doing at the time. Probably if I could have afforded it I would have quit, but in the end, I'm just happier working. Shortly after my son turned 1 I found a job that I really, really, love, and I have never regretted working. He was also in a daycare we loved, so it all worked out. Just ask the question what would make YOU happiest. Your daughter will be fine in daycare (as long as you are happy with the caregivers) and once she is a little older will really enjoy being in "school" (we always called it that) with her friends. If you want to work and enjoy your job, stick with it -- kids are best when their parents are happy.
Good luck!
B.
This is a normal time for separation anxiety. She is adjusting. You already have a lot of good advice... I would only suggest possibly finding a daycare with the same provider everyday... licensed home child care, nanny, small center? She is at the age where she needs to be bonding with a caregiver and that is harder if there are several or if they change often. But she WILL be fine if you stay where you are! If you feel comfortable with the center, she will get used to things. All will be ok. Only quit your job if that is truly what YOU want to do! Don't make that decision solely based on her having a little separation anxiety and taking longer to adjust than you thought.
