Recently I just started leaving my daughter with her grandparents during the day while I go to work. I'm in an internship, so my schedule is flexible (I had to work for 2 weeks at a site, then for another 2 weeks I get to stay at home and next month again I have to work for 3 weeks) .
When I come home, she crawls up to me and whines so I hold her and hug her. Now while I'm at home too, if I leave the room, she cries, and sometimes just wants me to be around her while she plays or just hold her to sleep.
Eventually though, her grandparents will leave in another month, so I'll have to put her in daycare. Do you think she will be more adjusted once she starts daycare? What do I do to help her feel safe while I"m gone? Also she won't go to her father anymore , if she sees me in the room. Also I've stopped breastfeeding...weaned her off slowly. I had low milk supply anyway (Please no comments on this, I'm very emotionally hurt i couldn't give her much milk :( even a lactation consultant and doctor diagnosed me with low milk supply :(
I'd really appreciate some advice for my daughter being so attached to me. Ofcourse I feed good as a mother, but feel bad for her that she cries if I'm not with her.
My daughter is five and still has what her Dad calls her 'Mommy Moments'. Sometimes she cries for me and I spend the majority of time with her. I work, but she sees me most. She loves her father, but sometimes just cries for me and every night she asks for a story and to be tucked in and then I have to sit at my desk and watch her sleep. That is often my mamapedia time. I don't mind, it won't last forever.
She needs you, so hold her. Since you are not nursing, she probably misses the closeness and nurturing only you can give. You have a certain touch and scent that she identifies with and needs. Research shows the more you hold babies when they want it, the less clingy they will be as older children and as adults.
Children thrive when there is a routine. Being away on and off like you are causes uncertainty, which can be too much for an 8-month-old to process and handle. She doesn't quite understand you will be back. Once you have her in daycare full time every day from a X o'clock until Y o'clock, I believe she will do much better. It might do you both good to start now, even on days you are not interning, if only for part of the day.
Blessings to you both!
There's nothing unnatural or overboard about your daughter's attachment. It sounds like she's having her first experience of being separated from you for any length of time, and even an hour is an eternity to an 8mo baby. Especially if she's feeling anxious or bereft. She doesn't yet know that you still exist when you're out of sight. And if the weaning is still in process, or is only recently finished, she's going to be missing that for awhile, too. That's a lot for a baby to process.
You might be able to counter her clinginess by taking the initiative. Scoop her up and snuggle like crazy for as long as you possibly can when you get home. Then take as many over-the-top snuggle breaks as you can during the rest of the day. This will reassure her that even though you are gone, your love for her is still solid. You are her emotional and physical anchor, and she doesn't have the reasoning or the language yet to form any clear ideas about your absences. She primarily runs on feelings at 8mo.
Don't worry that your attention will spoil her. When her cup is full, she will want to be put down so she can do other things. The more secure she feels about your loving presence in her life, the sooner her cup will fill.
There's no way to predict how she'll react to other daycare providers. Partly, that's a matter of chemistry, partly her personality, and partly whether you'll be able to take her for a relaxed introductory session or two. If possible, hang out for 15 minutes or so for a day or two before you have to leave her so she can become acquainted with the surroundings and the caregivers.
She will probably still cry when you leave her, but emotional trauma will be less likely. Good care providers will be able to coax her past the drop-off crying. And she will probably really need your loving reassurance for awhile when she's home with you again. It's completely normal.
You have spent so much time in the early months creating a bond with your daughter. She is demonstrating for you that you have done so successfully. My son at nearly 17 months still wants me over anyone, especially now that he is in a great deal of teething discomfort. If you don't have one invest in a carrier and hold her often. She will be upset when you part at daycare but the bigger deal you make if it the more dramatically she will respond. The care providers will distract her and make her comfortable. If there are any issues they can't deal with they will either call you or tell you at pickup time. It will all be fine.
all you can do is make sure that the time you spend with her she gets a lot of attention from you, if you need to do stuff get a great baby carrier and wear her. the more secure she is with you the more secure she will be with a consistent caregiver. good luck
It's just a little separation anxiety. Apparently, it will wax and wane as well. She may display these symptoms off and on for a while. My daughter is 10-months old and I was given the advice that when she goes through these separation anxiety phases there are different things that can help. Playing peek-a-boo and then every time you pop out just make it a little longer before she sees you again. Also, when you go into another room continue to talk to her as it will let her know that you are still there. While they have a sense of object permanence now, I guess for some reason they just have an attachment to us. It will get better, trust me.
I agree with the other commenters that you can't give your baby too much attention or too much cuddling when you are around her. Hug, snuggle and dote on her as much as you can when you are together.
As for the need for routine, agree with that also. A predictable routine will end up helping with emotional stability, even if it's hard at first to leave her in day care. I would suggest starting a fun after pick-up routine that she can look forward to and start talking about what you'll do together after day care each day. As long as you know you're leaving her in a safe environment with caring people, you'll just both have to deal with a little bit of crying at first, but that will pass.
Finally, remember that your child will pick up on your emotions. So, it may be that you are feeling anxious about situations, feeding her emotional roller coaster. Make the best choices you can, and pat yourself on the back for being a good mom.
I run an in-home daycare. What you are describing sounds like separation anxiety. She misses you and wants to spend time with you. Every child I have ever watched has gone through this at one time or another, along with my own 3 children. In fact, I'm currently watching a 15 month old little girl that's been having separation issues for the past couple weeks. The funny thing is, she cries and cries while her parents are dropping her off in the morning but once the door closes behind them, she immediately stops crying and runs off to play. This too is very common. Don't be worried about your daughter going to daycare. It may take a couple weeks for her to fully adjust and dropping her off in the morning may be really hard for you, especially if she's crying, Just know that she's probably not that way all day and this phase will pass.
This is totally normal - she is going through her first wave of separation anxiety. This will happen at developmental milestones. Just keep cuddling her and keep the goodbyes brief - have her grandparents distract her. I assure you she'll be OK at daycare b/c there are plenty of distractions there. My daughter would cry for 30 seconds and then find something fun to do. Hang in there!
