Will the Feeling Go Away?

Breastfeeding made a great excuse to not let anyone take my kids until they were much older (or not to leave them here with anyone for more than a date), so I really don't know how that feels. When I sent my son away with Pappaw for the weekend, he was 2.5 and it was weird, but not sad or hard. Yes, I assume it will get easier if it happens more often.
To be honest, I feel better leaving my kids with my parents than my in-laws. I just know my parenting style is much closer to my parents than my husband's parents. So, my first choice is always my parents.

You know... for ME... I could never enjoy a night away UNTIL I left for 10 days. Days 1-3 I was a nervous wreck. Day 4 I started to relax. By a week I was really enjoying myself, and by day 10 I was almost afraid to go back. (But coming back was amazing).

SINCE then, I've really enjoyed all of my periodic "night & morning" off. Once a month kiddo has a sleepover with my mum, and both kiddo and I really look forward to it.

Maybe if you realize your kids will forget about you after they are gone it might help - lol. They are so resilient. It is us moms we have to worry about. My heart does break every time I have to do such thing as well. Because they are young, it's worse. If it will make you feel better, call when they arrive for reassurance. You are not crazy. Stare at a pic of them if you have to. It's because you see them more and spend more time with them that the feeling can't go away. They will be fine and you will be too :-))

Your husband is telling you something. Your babies are safe, they are fine and they are having fun. Reach out to your husband, he is your primary relationship. Take advantage of this weekend alone with him. You will not regret it.

The more you talk about it, the more you go over it in your mind, the more you will talk about it and go over it in your mind. Stop the cycle, and start talking to your husband about something other than the babies. You are not just a Mom, you are a married woman, take the gift you have been given, and make the most of it!

Get off Mamapedia until your children are home...spend the entire weekend remembering why you have children in the first place, and what ever you do, make sure that you enjoy yourself!

Normal, btw. But something that you should put aside. Take it from an old married woman, that man who cried one tear, needs you a lot more than you know, and he is going to be sleeping right next to you for a lot more days than either one of your babies, and that is just how it should be.

M.

PS: go have some blue bell together...I wish I could get it here!

I know how you feel. I could hardly breath the first time our daughter stayed away from us. It gets easier and remember, they are with people that love them very much and would do anything to keep them safe.

Just hug your husband each time you need a hug, remember how it was before children? He was your whole world?

I would just remember how much I LOVED my own grandparents when I was a child. I loved seeing them and going places with them and being at their house.. Those are some of my favorite memories of childhood.

3 years is a long time, so enjoy it as much as possible with no guilt.

When I started reading this, I thought your girls might be a little older... 10 months is young to be away overnight (as is 2 years, in my opinion). I have yet to be away from my three year old overnight, and my concern when he was younger was that he didn't have the verbal skills to tell me if anything were to be wrong... but it sounds like you have a good family, and they will be in good hands.

I think it will probably get easier as they get older, but I know how you feel. I hope they will not miss you too much at night time - it might be hard for them, too. Or, they might just have a good time. Just try to relax and see how it goes. If they miss you too much, then maybe wait until they are a little older to send them away again. Call at night to check in on them - I think that is perfectly fine to do as a mommy, and you have every right to know how your kids are. Best wishes.

It was hard for the first couple of hours. Then i would enjoy my husband :) You can call and check if you are nervous. I would go out to dinner (or cook in), have some wine and watch a movie together...have fun!

I know it's easier said than done, but enjoy your alone time with hubby!

The first time my kids went with grandma it was hard on me. We live so far away from any family that my kids were 8, 7, 6, and 2 when it happened. I was so sad when they pulled away and for the first few hours it was hard. Then I started to enjoy the fact that I could have a conversation without being interrupted, or go to the bathroom without someone knocking on the door! About day three I was ready to have them home again, but kept myself busy...and before I knew it, they were back in the house running and screaming, interrupting convos and beating down the bathroom door.

Like another mother said, they're with people who love them as much as you do and would do anything to keep them safe...so relax and try to enjoy your husband.

*hugs*

The first time is hard. Hopefully it will get easier. It did for me. Now I really look forward to the time my sons spend away from me. Yes, I miss them and the house is strangely quiet, but I know they're in good hands with their grandmas and they're having the time of their lives.

It helped me to remember that a) my kids were with people I trust and having a fun time and b) we all need a break to recharge our personal batteries to be our very best. Try to see this time as a gift and use it accordingly. It doesn't make you a bad mom to enjoy time away from your children.

good luck!

Have a heart to heart with your husband (calm and rational, no blame games). This is a decision the two of you should have come to together, not just him. He may not have realized how much this would affect you.

What you are experiencing is absolutely normal. Just breath through it, remind yourself that the girls are in loving hands, and try to take advantage of the time you have without them by spending time with hubby, getting projects done, or even resting up on some much needed sleep. Go out and do something you haven't been able to with the children. Try to find the positive and joy in it.

It will be ok. You will have your babies with you soon.

I feel the exact same way! I have 3 daughters and I have a very hard time being away from them~ even if its with family members , MIL etc. I feel as though nobody else can give them the affection and love like I can, and I also feel nervous thinking that they wont be supervised at all times, and only I can watch them like a hawk in different surroundings (like a pool, or a playground, etc.) I think its just our motherly instict of wanting to be there to protect them and make sure they are safe and sound. My husband gets upset a bit because he wants us to take a little trip just the two of us, but i just cant . (and my girls are 16,12, and 7) ! ~ I love being with my girls, and I feel guilty when Im not. I dont know why, but I just do. I am trying to work on being ok with leaving them for a day to get some me time, I know it would be good for them too, its just getting to that point. I hope your enjoying your time with your husband, and your kids will be back before you know it!(I know its even tougher the younger they are) Im glad someone feels the same as me!

I understand how you feel--and after reading your update you sound just like me. My husband and I arranged to go on a cruise a year ago for 4 days and although I really wanted and needed the time with him, I was just dreading leaving my daughter with my in-laws. Not that I was worried about her safety or anything--they had kept my nephew for a week at a time several times, but she would be away from ME. She had pretty much always been with me

Then we got on the ship, and I was SO surprised how OK I was without her. I knew my in-laws really needed their bonding time with her too because she was such a mama's girl. I was also surprised how much I wasn't pining away for her even on the last day! We had a wonderful homecoming, and although she would prefer we take her with us on our next cruise (out of the question for us!!) we cannot wait to go again!
I get LOTS of time with my daughter and she gets LOTS of time with me. We both need to branch out somewhat.

I'm glad you took the first step. It's good for the kids to bond with their grandparents. Because mine lived out of state, my relationship with them was great, but not as close as it would have been if I'd had more alone time with them. My parents came with me whenever we'd visit because it was such a long drive. When I was an adult, I moved closer to them (without my parents) and saw them alone and the relationship totally changed. It was almost as if I had more parents. (In a good way, of course!) It's a great gift to give your daughters that type of close relationship with their grandparents.

For me, it's never gotten any easier! My kids are now (almost) 7,5,and 3 and they just got back from spending 4 days with my in-laws and it was just as hard for me this time, as it was the very first time...I think its just a "mom thing"? or maybe a "worry-wort thing"? IDK?

Everyone always says "try to have some fun" or "enjoy your peace and quiet" or "it's good for the kids to be with their grandparents"...and I know all this is true and I would love to do all that, I have just never been able to relax when they are away from me...

Your not the only one...and your not crazy...well, you might be, but I am right there with you!

I understand how you feel, but if you can look at the long term it will help. A mother's main job is to prepare her children to be outstanding functional adults and get them ready to live their own lives. This is much easier to do in very small steps and with the help of family. it sound like you are making a great start by encouraging their first steps with their Grandparents and other family members. Just keep it slow and remember these days when they are teenagers.

I know how you feel! Before my kids could REALLY talk, only my in-town sister & her husband and my out-of-town Dad & Step-mom (love her dearly!) were trusted to care for them over-night. They are almost-11 and just-turned-7 now. My 10 year old daughter has had sleepovers with friends since about age 8, but not yet for my son. Last month (July) was the first time they went for a WEEK-LONG visit. This was with my out-of-town sister & BIL and their daughter, and "around the corner" from my Dad. I almost turned around to go get them as my husband and I drove home. But it would have broken my kids' hearts. I felt better as we drove on and I was good for the week. If you trust the people they are with, then let them stay. It does get easier for you as they get older :) Hugs

it will get better...its hard the first time away from ur babies..i remember my first time. i cried the whole time my lil girl was gone. Just know that they are safe and this is down time to be one on one with ur hubby.