Why Does It Matter?

It matters a bit because the worst offenders here have committed fraud, slander, cyber-stalking, a "pack" mentality, and have tried to intimidate other members! Not to mention petty lies, rumor-mongering, hatespeak, etc.
I don't need to "hide" behind additional accounts. I am O. and Done. Always have, always will.

I remember the post you are talking about and the poster who was very rude. I have wondered how people can be so cruel myself. For one thing they are on the internet so they can say whatever, however they want. If you were to meet these people face to face they are probably no more than mere cowards.

This is supposed to be a helpful fun environment. If you think someone is trolling than don't respond since that is what they want you to do. I say either be helpful, join in the fun or move on. Good question Amy. Have a good day.

I do believe that we should start practicing not answering at all if you think someone is a troll rather than answering and calling them a troll-- Because if they arent a troll, they must feel very hurt at some of the answers, and it is mean spirited for sure. If they are a troll and you answer, all you did was feed the wolf.
We only see words here, we get enough legitimate posts screwed up as it is by not being able to hear tone.
We should be more careful.
I agree with you.
BUT, it would be boring some days if we didnt have the occasional troll drama.... Moms need a little bit of outside madness. The hidden evil in us has to escape now and then apparently otherwise we could explode ;)
We are human.

I don't know who is a troll and who isn't. I'm one of those who does as Grandma T suggests and just doesn't answer posters who seem to want a fight. I get your point, but do wonder with some who might be trolls-- there is a lot of judgment and nastiness coming from some of them (and some regulars, truthfully) which I wonder will throw off a new parent and make them feel bad. Otherwise... I just move on.

Frankly, this morning I more annoyed at the 'blogpost' ad for children's tv they put up instead of a parenting post. :(

I've often wondered this, too. Like who has time to be the Mamapedia detective squad, investigating histories and keeping track of "identities?"

In most cases, I don't see the need to point out that someone is posting a question for the first time or that their writing style is similar to another poster.

Most of us can figure out the trolls on our own.

I think what happens, though, is that some people who are on here all the time and see most of the posts feel as though they are doing some kind of a favor by pointing out would-be trolls.

The problem, however, is that they don't have a crystal ball and don't know for sure (outside of the obvious trolls like ketchup kid) who is legitimate.

It's discouraging and insulting to those who come here genuinely looking for help only to be disregarded as a troll.

It would be great if people would just move on when they don't have anything helpful to post.

I really didn't even know that there were "trolls" on here till earlier this week... when I read a few answers to someones question. Then after I clicked on the person's name that asked the question - her age changed meny times in a short time. She said something about having twins in the 5th grade and being a straight A 7th grader in her answers to others & then some how just became a 35 year old woman w/ no kids who was prego for the first time and afraid of delievery. I can understand people being upset at her for not being truthful... we are all suppose to be giving advice based on our esperiances and helping eachother through rough times.

As for changing names - I do agree that some "moms" might need to do that to get a fresh start on here... I have noticed that some moms have a hard time when they start on here & maybe they want to try again without the meanness that was attracted to the first name. Since some moms on her do hold grudges & keep pestering other moms - for whatever reason.

I hope that the moms that offer me help are giving the advise from there expericance, because I ususally only ask questions when I am at a loss. Just as I try to answer questions from my expericance & hope that what I went through will help out another mom. I don't have many people to ask questions - all my friends turned their backs on me when I got married & had a baby at 17 yrs old & it has been hard for me to trust since then, so I didn't seem to make friends very well anymore.

I honestly just wish we could all get a long & kinda hold our toung if we don't have anything nice to stay to eachother - you know the rule we use to be tought.... "If you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all." or if you still want to say something find a nice way of saying it.

Amyj156 I hope you have a nice day and get the answer to your question... I don't think my answer will help, but I do agree with you - it really doesn't matter if you change your name as long as you are being honesty with yourself & others.

For the most part I'm overwhelmed with the absolute wealth of caring and thoughtful advice on this site. And the variety of information/topics?? Amazing. Knowing how most other online dialogue ends up getting negative pretty quickly, it's pretty impressive how genuinely helpful and positive people are on MP and I'm grateful for it.

I generally avoid/ignore all the weird drama with the people on here who constantly argue and/or call people out. Total waste of my time.

My only complaint about some of the legitimate responses to legitimate questions is their critical tone. No matter how nuts/wrong/ignorant someone's question seems - if you're going to reply - you absolutely can still find a way to advise without criticizing or passing judgement. Just answer the question. Difficult at times? Yes. Impossible? No, and usually worth it to more than just the person asking the question. We are humans capable of filtering and using the appropriate sensitivity, even to people we don't know and aren't talking to face to face.

Again, small complaint for such a great resource :)

Thanks MP peeps!

I have called out Trolls when it is obvious. Also a firstquestion about having sex with your mother is a good indication you have a troll on your hands..

Same with the people that ask some far out question and everyone responds pretty much the same and the person comes back with you all are being so mean...???... when you look back at the answers it is a lot of responses trying to wake this person up to the fact that they need to change. Or they are not making good choices.

The deal is, I have been answering less and less, because some of the people on here, are just wasting our time.They want a cheer section, a pat on the back, they are not here to learn ways to be better parents.

And No, this is not a site to debate issues, especially when it starts out with misinformation and we have to prove it is all just opinion.. .. There are a million blogs you can go to to debate.. Quit wasting our time on here.

I hate when people automatically assume troll. I will be the first to admit, some posts you just KNOW are not legit. (Remember the lady trying to sell her baby??). Other's are just scared mom's needing advice for the first time.
My very first question on MP was about my teenager coming home drunk. To me, it was a very big event and I was really upset. I often wonder if I would now be called a troll because I asked a big question right away and had no history on my profile.
Some people find MP just like I did, by doing a google search on advice from mamas. People who are searching for that generally having something going on in their lives that they need help with.

I agree with you!

The other thing that bothers me is when someone asks a "loaded" question with their first question and the only answer they get is "great first question".. boy that was helpful! Who cares if it is their first or their 109th! Its like some need to point out to everyone else that this is was the posters first one. For me it's just another way of saying they are a troll without coming right out and saying it. ( I could be wrong, but that is MY feeling when I see that!)

I normally don't even check to see if someone is "new" or their first question ( I could care less).. I just answer it if I feel I can help them. Unless it is obvious its a troll.

"why does it matter?"

hmmm, 2 sides to this question. A true need for anonymity would be justified. A perceived need to "stir the pot" would not.

Basically this goes back to judgment. Judgment on the poster's part, & judgment on the readers'. Sometimes it's very difficult to look beyond what seems to be an obvious breach of honesty.

& for me, that's the key issue with multiple accounts. To me, it's a lack of honesty. A lack of faith on the poster's side, & on our side. It's the poster hiding behind a curtain & still trying to reach out...either for help or in an attempt to create dissension.

I tend to have a knee-jerk reaction to events such as this. I abhor dishonesty. I applaud the courage to stand tall & to open your heart/soul. & that's what we're doing when we ask questions here. Whether it's a JFF or a deeply emotional issue, we are opening ourselves up to others. As respondants, it's easy to lose sight of that. :)

Conversely, to act within the parameters of a "troll"....well, I believe that's the epitome of dishonesty on this site. Quite a few of these troll questions could actually be phrased in another way....inciting honest responses, not stirring the pot.

But, when it's all said & done, it boils down to personality & that moment in time. All the way around. Some people....like yesterday.....just have a knack for pushing buttons. There are days when I enjoy it, & other days when I just think "grow up, already". :)

I missed the drama yet again.

I totally agree not to ever ever post " oh you are a troll" that to me is stupid, there was one that i thought might be but I had experience in the area she was asking about, so i answered it but carefully, as in " oh interesting question, i've never heard of what you are suggesting but in my similiar situation we did this, blah blah blah." I tried to word it as a warning for others answering that it wasn't all it seemed to be while still being respectful if it was legit. most of the time i just skip them. All i can think is that some people think it is their duty to moderate the boards and call out trolls, maybe they think they are being helpful to the rest of us that aren't smart enough to figure it out?

just as they anonomous-ness (yeah i know that's wrong -grammar police) lets you seek advice, it also allows some people to let out the meaness that they probably wouldn't actually let loose face to face.

I just take what i can and leave the rest, it works for me.

I feel the same as you. What do I care if someone has one account or two or three or whatever. Makes no difference to me.

If I read a post and think its suspect, I just don't respond. After all, it's like giving a child attention for negative behavior - any attention is better than none. They will quit posting if others quit reacting.

A screen name change is not a big deal to me. I changed mine as a joke and have changed it back. I totally get why someone would want to post more a personal or sensitive question under a different account with a different screen name as I have been tempted to do so myself. Instead, I either don't ask or I try to be as vague about as possible, but still provide the facts. It doesn't work out well though because my secrecy which tends to hinder the clarity.

Now allow me ask you some questions: Why does it matter to you that any of this matters to some others? Why not just ignore the "call-outs"? What does one calling out someone else change in your life?
Why not just give advice if you have it and move on if you don't? <---See what I did there? :o)

It matters to some so they can try to distract people away from them...those doing the accusing are often the ones doing what they are stating others are doing. It helps boost their ego.

It doesn't matter. But for some - it helps them feel better about themselves when they can call other people out for their perceived wrong-doings...just like making a post directed at someone and airing it for the world to see. They can fluff their feathers and they can try to make another party look bad.

There have been many on here to call out trolls. And I will admit I have called out trolls too.

I called one out just this a.m. but only as a sarcastic joke and in the same manner it was used towards me.

I asked this yesterday. I don't really get it either. Its like they have been on here so long, they need aboslute proof it is a human before investing 2 seconds to answer a question.

I do wish i could find a site to debate. It is hard in this format to debate a topis, and one was just posted about welfare and drug testing. I'd debate that in second but you can't do that "here" in any logical formag without ETA' to death or new threads, which apparently is hated hered.

if you have more then 3 questions in a day you are a troll...lol. I think.

Sometimes it's really obvious when someone is trolling or faking. I have little tolerance for that sort of thing. However, sometimes even if I know that I know that I KNOW someone is trolling or faking, I will answer the post as if it's real on the off chance that there's someone else out there lurking who has the same situation legitimately and needs the information that I can share.

The rest? I report.

If someone is using a dummy account to protect their daily username identity so that they can ask a real but embarrassing question or for protection against a spouse, then I honestly don't care about that. It's helpful if they say so. "Hi, I'm a regular posting member but if I ask this in my well-known persona it could get me in trouble at home because I find myself in an abusive situation..." "...because a neighbor posts here too and knows my on-screen name and kids but I need to remain anonymous because my question is about her and her children..."

I agree that we should try to help each other instead of making things worse. I also agree with Rebecca about the great first question statements. Who made them the judge of questions? Is there an actual criteria that renders a great first question? Less judgement and more sincere advice, the so labeled trolls are obviously lacking in some aspect, how about we try to help them too?