Do You Ever Feel Bad for the Trolls?

It could also be a kid sitting there with their friends getting a kick out of trolling a mothering site with outlandish stories. There is nothing to say they are all alone.
On rare occasion I have to think about people that troll sites like this. All I can think of is what I so often answer. I want their free time! I want to have enough free time now and again to even think...hum...I'll go post up this outlandish story on a public mothering advice website and see what funny answers I get.

I feel bad about trolls. I hadn't thought about them having difficult lives, tho. I think what you describe is the life of some trolls. Mostly I think they're wanting attention, thinking it's funny when adults get upset. Trolling, in my day, on the phone, was just immature kids thinking a dumb phone call was fun. It was easy to just hang up. They didn't get a rise out of the one who answered the phone. What fun is that?

Kids like to push adults buttons. I suppose it might make them feel more powerful when an adult gets angry. some kids enjoy upsetting others. i suggest our response could be a bit like the kid who teases others. What do we tell our children? We tell them to ignore it and stay away from the one teasing. This often stops the teasing.

I do smile when one of us posts a clever response to an obvious story. Someone said trip trat, tip trap in their post and then said go away. I didn't spell that right. those words sound humerous, not angry. They say I know who you are. I don't want you around. I suggest many mom's respond in that way when our kids try to get our attention while we're busy. It's not a put down.

I suggest a troll is looking for angry retorts. when they get the anger they laugh because they succeeded. I also think that some of the angry responses to a troll by saying such things as you're stupid etc, putting the poster down also sound immature. Would we say those words if we were face to face?

I really feel bad for the ones who post a serious question and get called a troll because it's a first question, isn't written very well, sounds phony to the one who responds. Remember that the written word can be so easily misunderstood. Really, who are we to judge? I've seen posts called troll that have a question I 've been asked by mom's who have little education and lack the ability to find their own answers. These are the very mom's who are hurt the most when called a troll. Often they are immature and respond in anger. I feel sad for them. They already have low self esteem, are often depressed. maybe, as you said, they are lonely and reaching out for human contact.

I just do not understand why people are so lacking in compassion. We who are priveleged with a good mind and sufficient food, housing and friends need to remember there is a large population who are lacking in many ways. They are doing the best they can with what they have. Why do we put them down?

Why do we get angry at even the outlandish posts that are obviously written by a troll. I suggest that when we do we are giving that poster our energy that could be spent in a beneficial way. Why do we even read them? We all are busy. I suggest that anger uses up our energy better spent in taking care of our own lives. A troll just isn't important enough to waste our time on them. I prefer to use that energy in helping myself and others.

I don't feel as badly for the trolls as I do for the people who really aren't, but just came on with a poorly-worded first question and then get jumped on by members. I think there is a rush to judgment (and it's worse for new people when we've already had a rush of trolls recently). I think there's a level of nastiness that M. feed some of the trolls who are truly here to get off on the anger they stir up, so I think it meets their needs when we respond with rudeness. I also think there are a few people on here who are legit members but have been on so long that they have a sense of ownership of the site, being rude to new people and long-standing members alike. That saddens me and I know it irritates the Mamapedia administrator because it defeats the purpose of Mamapedia's purpose. Quite a few members have become friends and let everyone know it, almost to the point of being a mean-girl clique themselves.

I think there are a few responders here who never ever see "troll" even when it's obvious, and always post a real response. I do feel badly when they are so oblivious that they spend a whole lot of time fashioning a response that isn't going to be read.

There are others who are so determined to be first to "call troll" that they jump at anything that's not perfect in its expression. I think there are real questioners who are overwhelmed in their lives, and who post a question thinking it's clear to the broader audience, and are blown away when we don't "get it" with their superficial explanation - then the clarifications show up in the edits and SWH, and it turns out it is a legitimate post.

I do look at the poster's history first before I call "troll" and I do try to answer kindly when I can - so I might say something brief like "We really need more information about X or Y to give you an intelligent response" - which encourages the legitimate posts and blows off the trolls who aren't going to spend the time. I think, if a kid is suspected, it's easier to just say "This is for adults" and/or say the post doesn't have enough info.

I do think this site is a real asset to some women who are abused (their abusers don't often check a parenting site, although the women need to be careful). I also think there are a few needy people who are well-meaning, and it doesn't hurt us to be kind.

No, because there is nothing real about a troll. Say you are an insecure person with nowhere to turn, you don't turn to anything with that which can hurt you most, you just don't.

This is not different than, "is your refrigerator running" when I was a kid. It is a prank call. What makes me most funny for them, why some come back, is the number of people that are so stupid (in the eyes of the pranker) that they take their stupid question seriously. Think about it, when you asked "do you have Prince Albert in a can" was a serious no after thinking about it. Refrigerator, yes? Click or even I am going to tell your parents wasn't funny at all.

These are not introverts looking for someone to talk to.

Marda touched on why I don't feel sorry for them. Once in a while someone comes here with a real question that seems a bit out there. You get so burned out on the trolls you jump them as well. Granted my first marriage was beyond poopy, my ex is quite abusive. I did reach out to people on the internet but it isn't like I just jumped in with everything he did. I was abused after all, I thought it was my fault. I was sure that if I went forward with my story people would just say, yeah, you asked for that. This is only based on my experience and friends that were in similar situations, people don't just wake up one day and post an abusive story to the internet, that isn't how it works.

No.
But I do miss DandyLion!

ha! i was a 'draw horses and read books' kid too!
maybe i would have trolled internet sites if the webZ were available back in my day. it's probably the Post-Menopausal Mean Girl in me that thinks 'no, i think i'd rather have drawn horses and read books.'
who knows?
but i can't say that i really feel sorry for trolls. i DO think some of the questions that get hammered as troll-ish might be real, but then, the trolls have somewhat sensitized the group.
we absolutely have some members who have 'secret' 2nd accounts. it's pretty funny. they don't seem to grasp how obvious they are.
but i can't muster up too much sorrow for 'em.
:) khairete
S.

I guess I missed something. I'm just getting on today. Came on for a minute last night for the Superbowl Question (GO PATRIOTS!!!)

Do I feel sorry for trolls? No. Why? because really? If you need attention? Just say - Hey!! I'm sad, I'm lonely - I'm feeling stupid....I need attention...can I ask a crazy question?

The ones about being pregnant? That's just plain SCARY!!! That's our future (assuming it's a kid because it would be even scarier if it was an adult asking about being pregnant and using an ovulation kit instead of a HPT)....

Really? Just give me the truth.

no. are we supposed to?

2Kidmama hit it, it's the modern prank call.

Yeah, I've been accused of being a second account. I'm not. Some people have too much time.

I don't really feel sorry for them because when they come here they are here deliberately to get attention and fire people up.

I suppose that is the post menopausal mean girl in me, LOL

When I was younger I was working at a real job and making money to go to college and didn't have time for pranks. I started working at age 13 and haven't stopped yet. My fun time was riding bikes with my friends.

I can't believe there are people with multiple secret accounts. I suppose that happens but gees... I have enough on my plate already and not enough time to manage multiple accounts, my company, my house, my pets and my daughter. Sounds like someone needs a hobby or job if they have enough time to maintain multiple accounts! Whew

Happy Monday!

I think it's the same thing as the prank calling of my day. You were hanging out with a friend and were bored...you had too much time on your hands...so you decide to play some jokes. I don't feel angry or antagonistic toward trolls. I just feel nothing toward them really. Most of the time it's probably kids. I don't think it's usually someone sad and lonely...just usually a kid looking to have a little fun playing pranks.

I feel bad. Many times I suspect newbies get treated meanly because people don't want to be had by a troll. It's sad. I don't like negative energy, and I see no point in not being compassionate, even to the loney kid looking for attention.

As a child in the 1970's we played "ring and run" and did prank phone calls. Both were very annoying but ultimately innocent fun. Many kids can't play ring and run anymore because they aren't allowed to play outside unsupervised and prank phone calls were ruined by call display. Seems trolling the internet is the equivalent. I don't really care one way or another. They don't bother me. They probably sit around at slumber parties thinking of stories to write together and giggle about the responses. The more attention they get them more they will do it. I know we targeted the houses and phone numbers that got the best responses...I don't feel bad for them at all (except that maybe they aren't outside getting fresh air while they play "ring and run"). Seems like fairly normal pre-teen behaviour to me.

ETA: If a question sounds like it belongs here what would make it a troll question? I'm confused.

I don't feel bad for them, necessarily, but sometimes, when it's pretty obvious it's a kid, I think some of the responses are a little harsh. As a mother, I wouldn't ream some kid for inappropriate behavior, rather I would, and do, try to be a positive influence.

The ones just clearly yanking chains to see how many internet moms they can get in a tizzy? No, not really. I'm guessing there are numerous internet sites that I have no clue about where lonely teens could be getting more attention, so I guess I'm not reading those as a "cry for help."

However, I do feel badly for the posters who come here with genuine questions, but because of poor written communication skills or a high level of distress and distraction while composing their posts, they get written off as trolls. I'll admit, if the post is one long, rambling paragraph with 50 lines and no punctionation, it's tough to get through. Because of the confusion in these posts, some responders get caught up in finding contradictory information, and then the responses go off on some other trajectory----usually "calling troll" and such.

I also feel badly for those who have a lot of crazy going on in their lives and limited real-life resources (i.e., no genuine, stable friends and family, financial problems that limit options, etc.). These are the ones that read like a Jerry Springer script. Sadly, some of these are real, and when these posters get dismissed as trolls, it's sad. We M. be the one source of sanity and reason to help them access resources or make a plan to get out of horrible life situations. Having worked in mental health for more than two decades, I can assure you that this level of dysfunction does exist. It might seem so removed to many of us who have so much---stable, sane and mature friends and families on whom we can rely, good educations and careers, financial security and resources, safe and secure homes and neighborhoods--- but to those who don't have these resources, their world looks very different to them than ours does to us.

I always think a more reasoned, helpful response has a better chance of getting through to those people than immediately dismissing them as trolls.

I get pointing out an obvious troll (e.g. ketchup kid), so that other posters don't waste a bunch of time, but too often, I think some genuinely hurting people get dismissed and disregarded when they come looking for information, guidance, and direction.

Just my view from where I am in the world.

J. F.