Who Pays

I think if you invite someone you should help pay or pay for all of it. Now when my kids go somewhere with friends I always send money

It is proper etiquette that if you invite, you pay. If you tell the invitee that if they come they pay, then you as Mom have the option of telling them to put their money back in their pocket. They can use it for a souvenir or something then. If I invite or tell my kids they can, then I intend to foot the bill.

I would say it depends on the reason for the trip. If this is a birthday celebration or something like that, you should pay her way into the park and for all her necessary expenses, i.e. food, travel, lodging (if necessary), however she should be expected to bring her own spending money for extras. If this is just a 'for fun' trip and the friend is just coming along, she should pay for her entrance fee and her spending money, however you should pay for the other necessary expenses like lunches, travel & lodging.

As you can see there is no hard fast right or wrong answer! But, in these economic times it is not at all rude to let your child invite a friend to an event and ask the child to pay for admission. My daughters boyfriends family took her to WOF once & asked her to pay her way! No reason to feel bad about it! If the family can't afford to pay for one child to go then, your child can ask another friend. Don't ever feel bad for asking! It never bothers me if my children come home & say I can go but I have to pay for my ticket!

I think if you invite someone out to dinner, you pay. However, in this case, when inviting a friend to an amusement park or something along those lines it is not unacceptable to expect them to pay their own way....especially with today's economy. Make a trade: pay the friend's way into the park, but ask that they bring their own money for personal items, food, etc. that they will want/need.

Take care and God Bless :)
T.

I think it depends on what you can do. I tend to be generous when I can be. But this last year it has not been possible for me to be that generous. So if you invite someone a long, you should just tell them what you can afford to do or not. Kids have a very BAD habit of just assuming that the parents will pay for this and that and sometimes we can barely pay for ourselves. It's been a very long time since I had the money to go. My daughter just emptied her entire piggy bank so she could go with her sisters. It would be great of her sisters had been able to pay for her. But they barely paid for themselves and I would have loved to have gone but couldn't. It's not fair to call it social expectations. Not everyone has money just lying around.

Suzi

I agree with you, your family should pay for the guest's admission. The guest will probably bring money for food & incidentals.

it depends on how close you are to her friends parents. If you take their daughter often they will usually offer to pay just so she can go and they don't have to take her as it is very expensive for a whole family to go and sometimes they are glad that someone invited their child to go as they may not be able to afford it for the family and will be willing to pay for one. If we know someone can't afford it then we pay but let them know that we just pay for their entry ticket and any extra spending money is up to them. Other times we actually didn't invite them, my daughter just mentioned that she was going and her friend asked if she could go and I told her if she can pay for her own ticket and have her own spending money then she is welcome to go.
See how that works?? If you ask then you probably need to be expected to pay but if you mention going and they say something like I wish I could go then offer the option that they are welcome to go if they can buy their own ticket.

I would let them know that they need to pay for their own food, drinks, and other spending money if you decide to pay for her entry fee.

Just a note in case you don't know.. You can get free water at all the restaurants in WOF/OOF just go to the counter and ask for a drink of water. They have complimentary cups of ice water that doesn't cost anything. It tastes a lot better than the water fountains that are usually hot. You can also leave the park and not have to pay parking again. Just keep your parking receipt and show it to them at the gate when you re-enter the park. There is a Wendy's nearby. Get on the outer road going south and turn right where you see quik trip. There is a wendys on the road behind quik trip. We have passports and eat there just about every time we go.
We usually buy funnel cakes at WOF because you don't get them everywhere but hamburgers and other food we usually eat when we leave the park or if we are planning to stay all day we leave and come back. You want to eat light or you will get sick from having too much food and riding rides. There is also a bbq dinner they offer at the park during certain times of the day. It is buffet style and think it is 8.99 per person but you have to buy the tickets for it at the front gates. I don't like to eat that much and ride the rides. I have motion sickness and get sick easily anyway so I don't need help with eating a lot of food. I just drink a lot of water and eat on the way home.
You can also buy discount tickets for both parks at any Price Chopper at their customer service.
Here are the prices at price chopper.
Worlds of Fun $31.99 + tax (daily pass)
Oceans of Fun $24.99 + tax (daily pass)
Ride & Slide $45.99 + tax (daily pass)
Gold Season $109.99 + tax (passport includes parks and parking)

can't buy the kids tickets at Price Chopper but these are the prices at the park.
Jr/Sr tickets are only available at the park or on line: www.worldsoffun.com
Worlds of Fun $17.99 + tax
Oceans of Fun $15.99 + tax
Ride & Slide $29.99 + tax
Gold Season $69.99 + tax (passport includes parks and parking)

i feel in this case, if you invite, you pay. you yourselves have free passes, so one extra person at full price (and you can often get coupons) won't break the bank, and it is probably expected. my husband doesn't always understand these social expectations, either, don't worry.

Hi L.,

I have to agree with you on this one! We would never invite someone along with us and then not pick up the tab for them as well.

We recently took our Granddaughter away for the weekend and to make it more fun for her we brought her cousin (on her dads side) along with us. We would have NEVER dreamed of inviting her and then not pay for the weekend. (She did bring her own "spending money" for things she wanted to buy tho).

Good luck with this one!

N.
www.lovems1.etsy.com

I am a firm believer in each person pays their own way. I would never assume that someone was paying for my daughter when they ask her to come somewhere with them.

There are times when I offer to treat someone to something, but want that to be special, not expected.

When someone asks my daughter somewhere, I feel like it's a neat opportunity and a big deal that people want to deal with one more kid to take along - so those two items are priceless, the least I can do is pay her monetary way.

All that being said, if someone asked to take her somewhere expensive, and I declined on price reasons alone, I would probably say that we really appreciated the offer (because, again, I think it's a huge deal to 'deal' with one more kid), but we don't have it the budget this time - we'd love it if you'd check with us again in the future!

I am with you. If we invite someone to go with us then we pay. Usually my daughters friends always bring money and we let them us it for the fun stuff. If are daughters are invited to go with someone we have taught them to ask what amount of money they need to bring. Then we know what the other family has in mind.

L., OK, when you said "No, problem there" I thought "he's got this one right". I say if you invite you pay the entrance fee, anything like toys, games and such should be on her. I feel you should be at least partially responsible for food.

M.

I would have to agree with you - you invite, you pay. I don't think however that it would be unreasonable for her to pay for any souveneirs (sp)or even some of her snacks and drinks. I would hope that her parents would send her with some "mad money". But I would pay for her way in and her main meal if there is one........have fun and stay cool!!!

If you have a good relationship with the parents of the firend, explain that you are willing to spend XX amount and if they want to send extra cash along with thier child, that they can do that. Then the day of, I would explain to daughter and friend how much money they each have and that they should choose wisely on how they spend it.

Also - I know the park food is high priced for what you get. Put a cooler of food in your car and when it is time to eat, get your hand stamped and go out for a picinic. By doing this you will save money too!

If we invite someone, we always pay, and I think that's best. However, when one of our kids is invited somewhere, we always send money just in case the other parent doesn't feel the same way. If our kids end up using their own money, we're okay with it.

Hi L., I kind of agree with Linda, it could depend on a lot of diferent factors, starting with the girls age..... but in general I say if you invite you pay, but... if her parents offer then I would accept also. I did like the idea of telling them exactly how much money that had, so they don't go overboard. I know growing up my parents would not pay but also wouldn't say anything to the parents, so it was it was up to me to tell my friends, sorry, you have to pay. This was very awkward and embarrassing for me. I would have rather not invited the friend.

L.,

I know when my kids were growing up I always paid if we invited other kids to go, hence we didn't very often, for 2 reasons, we had 7 kids at home when we got married!! We barely took our kids places! Because of this a lot of times it was other parents who had 1 or 2 kids that invited ours. I always made sure that my kids had money to go, I would even ask, where are you going so I knew how much money they needed. Many times the parents would tell me it was fine we have tickets so they aren't paying to get in, etc...

There are a couple of things that you didn't post here and I think they make a difference. 1) How old are these girls? 2) Do they have jobs? If they are older teens, then I would tell them, we are covering admission and food, any extras you want will be at your expense! That way they know what they want to spend,etc...Have fun!

L.

Well I'd say if you were going by Miss Manners or even Dear Abby's advice you are wholeheartedly correct, if you invite a person there is an implied meaning that YOU will be paying for the pleasure of their company (which includes entry fees and food but NOT extra stuff that they may want to buy or do like arcade games and extraneous sodas, etc.).

Having said that, times have changed. It seems to have become the accepted norm to go dutch for everything. My feeling would certainly be along the lines of yours, you invite you pay, however if you cannot afford it and your daughter feels very strongly about inviting her friend and her friend or her parents CAN afford it and are willing to I see no reason why not. Times have changed and although we may not agree with them entirely, it seems to have become the way of the world. Frankly, I am a tit-for-tat kinda girl...if your daughter's friend ends up paying her way, when Christmas comes around make sure her friend gets an extra nice present from your daughter or make sure your daughter gets to go with her sometime (and you pay for her).

I think it depends on what you're doing. A day at WOF can be expensive. I would say you could pay for the ticket, but the friend needs to bring money for food, games, etc.

I'm in agreement with the other responses that if you invite then you pay. Now if they offer to pay you can take the money and use it to buy a pass or food. Now we've usually had the guest pack a sack lunch and we bring that with us. We don't buy food at Oceans or Worlds cuz they are expensive. You can leave the park and picnic outside under the trees for lunch or dinner. We do it all the time. And if a friend is coming then they bring their own and we put it in our cooler. That way they have something they like to eat, some kids are just picky. And you can get them a snack there, like an icee or ice cream or something cold and refreshing. Hope this helps. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. We've also asked friends in the past that have their own passes...just a thought.

One principle that I feel should be clear is that it is your daughter who is extending the invitation and your daughter cannot likely afford to sponsor her friend. I think most parents do understand this.

When it comes to questions like this, it is important to understand that each family develops its own cultural manners. The way one family shows respect and consideration may appear inconsiderate to others. I've learned that most people have good intentions, but seldom communicate them well. The trick is to speak in a manner that expresses consideration rather than just setting down the rules.

So long as clear understandings are communicated so that embarrassments and disappointments are avoided, it seems perfectly fine to draw your boundaries wherever you need to and feel most comfortable. Kids are used to going to things where each child pays their own way. When my son was younger, I expected he would pay his own way when another family invited him along to events and outings. Amuzement parks can be quite expensive for most families. I feel it is better to respectfully draw clear boundaries then to have to tell your children they cannot invite friends along.

But, as one response indicated, that could be awkward when it comes to souvenirs and food. If each of your children is allowed to spend a certain amount in the gift store or a certain amount on treats and food, it can feel quite awkward to have the friend spending much more or much less. There is more than one solution to this and you can offer to pay for as much or as little as you wish and still be quite gracious and respectful.

If it were me, I would call the friend's parents and tell them that my daughter asked if her friend could join us for a day at the amusement park. I would tell the parents that, if they would like to send their daughter , I would be happy to pick her up, watch over her, and provide lunch. I would ask if the friend had any special needs or limits I should be aware of (sunscreen, diet, rides that make her sick, etc.). You can suggest that, if they do not have a season pass, there are places to get discount tickets. I would also tell them that each of my children are going to be given $X.00 to spend on drinks, snacks, souvenirs, etc. Then I would tell them that I felt they would appreciate knowing all this before deciding whether or not to send their daughter or how much money to send with her so as to avoid any awkwardness or disappointments.

If a parent had called me with all that information, I would feel that my child was very welcome and would be cared for. It doesn't always have to cost money to show graciousness and consideration.

I think especially for an amusement park (more costly) that the friend should pay for entrance fee, then you can say you will cover food/drink. We are going soon to Holiday World, some friends are invited who are paying their way into park. My daughter has been invited to Six Flags with a friend and expected to pay entrance fee, food, and drink. If it was just an invite to movie, then I could understand you invite, you pay. Have a fun time!

I would agree with you, if you invite, you pay. However, I would never expect someone to pay my childs way. If my child is invited somewhere, I always send enough money to cover all expenses. If you have a considerate parent, they will also be respectful and at least offer.

The other think that I like to consider is if I think going would put a strain on the other family. If so, I pay, or I do not ask that friend.

Good luck and enjoy your fun day.

I would think it would depend on the age. How old is your daughter's friend? I know that most of the time when my parents invite someone along for my sister (she's 15), they offer to pay (such as a movie) but they kind of expect them to bring money for drinks, food and to play games. If your daughter's friend is young, I would maybe think that you would pay the way. But then again, I think it depends on the cost of the event. If it was a small amount (maybe under $15 total), I would offer to pay. Anything over, I'd expect the parents to offer up at least some money. Maybe compromise and tell the daughter's parents that the tickets are paid for and you'll be happy to buy their daughter lunch but if she could bring some money for extra snacks, games, etc. Then you and your husband have a common ground to agree on!

I agree with you, if you invite them then you pay for them!

We have done that very thing. We have season passes to Worlds of Fun. When my daughter invites a friend to join us, we always say, "We'd love for so-and-so to come with us dutch treat. Do she have a season pass? If not, you can buy tickets at Price Chopper, or print a discount coupon from the Worlds of Fun website." Everyone we've taken this approach with understands that this is more than a pool entrance fee or a movie tickets, so there's been no offense taken. All that being said, it DOES feel just a bit awkward on my end every time I do it, but the only person who has a problem with it is me! Good luck to you, and have a blast!

When my daughter started going with friends one of the mothers explained that they love to have kids come with them but can't always afford to, so when they invited we always made sure my daughter had money. In turn we never had to worry about having enough money when she came with us, that doesn't mean that we didn't pay for her sometimes, but we always had the option not to, also if we couldn't afford it at the time my daughter couldn't go. Amusement parks are too expensive to pay for others, so don't feel bad asking them to pay their own way. I used to feel the same way as you, but realized the kids got to do more, with more friends if each child pays their own way.

I agree that if you invite someone the entrance fee or tickets would be the invitors responsibility but any extras would be the friend's responsibility.
If it can't be afforded then don't invite the friend.

Well if my daughter was going somewhere with a friend and her family, I would give the parents money whether they ask for it or not. Just because you invite someone somewhere doesnt mean you have to pay for them. If I was in that situation, I wouldnt ask for money, but I would hope that the parents would provide money for their childs activities and just not assume you and your husband pay for everything.....but thats just me, hopefully other people do that too, or it will get expensive. Have fun!