When to Tell the Truth About Santa Claus

Updated on November 27, 2009
N.S. asks from Buffalo Grove, IL
11 answers

My 8-year old still believes in Santa Claus but older kids are telling her there's no such thing. She's starting to ask a lot of questions about it. We'd like her to believe as long as possible because part of the magic of Christmas is in Santa Claus!

She's asking tough questions like "do Santa's elves make Wii?" and "Why does the Mall Santa have a fake beard?" We are making up answers (Santa's elves make some toys and buy others and the Mall Santa is really Santa's helper because the real Santa is getting ready for Christmas at the North Pole) but now I feel like pretty soon the game will be up!

How do you know when it's time to tell the truth?

We've told her Santa is the Spirit of Christmas and as long as she believes he will be real. She seems satisfied to "not know" at this point in time.

Advice?

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S.C.

answers from Chicago on

My 10 year old still believes in everything - Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny - even though ALL her friends tell her they are not real. I think she believes in Santa more because she's gotten gifts from Santa that we, as her parents, would never get her. I choose to let her believe as long as she can. They grow up so fast. However, if she ever came to me and seriously wanted to know the truth, I think by now I would probably tell her.

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M.C.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter kept asking questions and telling me,some of her friends told her he doesn't exist, for me I didn't want to make things up anymore,felt wrong, so I told her the truth.
She was very angry.But I felt better,she was around the same age.My son was ok with it, sort of figured it out himself.I still keep it magical.

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T.G.

answers from Rockford on

I think you are doing exactly what my plan is to do as well. I have an 8yo ds (who has 3 younger siblings.) I think he is starting to get the hint. A while back he asked for some outrageously expensive gift and I told him I didn't think we would be spending that kind of money on Christmas. He retorted, "No you, Santa!" And the other night we were out to dinner and talking about the tooth fairy. He announced that he thinks the tooth fairy is just mom and dad because "you don't have a lot of money". On the inside I had to smile a bit but I was a bit brokenhearted too. He knows we are very careful about how we spend our money and he knows that we don't really ever do anything that would be considered "extravagant." He has been talking about how at other houses the toothfairy leaves $10 and only a dollar at our house. He is putting the pieces together and it is kind of sad.

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

My 10 year old last year still believed (if his friends told him santa wasn't real he just thought they don't believe because they are bad and don't get presents) and my husband decided it was time to tell him. He was very upset about it and cried then got mad for us lying to him. I do not think my husband handled this well at all. I recommend you not lying about it but not doing what my husband did either. I think we are gonna work on doing things differently with our 2 younger daughters then we did our son. But if she is starting not to believe and she asks I would say its ok to tell her the truth but not force it on her. My son still wants to believe some though.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

I don't think it's lying. I think it's great that she still believes. Our kids grow up too fast....let her enjoy this awesome time of year. I can't believe that the pp husband did that. Bah humbug.

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S.X.

answers from Chicago on

apparently our EX babysitter told our then 2 year old that there was no santa, it was his "parents".
how'd you like THAT.
didn't use her again.

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I go with the last part of what you said. I've never tried to answer specific questions but say something like, "I don't know, but the presents appear," or ask them, "how do you think it might work?" If pressed, I say I have no idea, but "people say" Santa has a workshop or whatever the question is, or I refer them to something from a Santa movie.

I think they come to the realization slowly - my 9yo hasn't openly said it yet, but somewhere in his subconscious he knows. He has mentioned that he thinks the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy are probably just stories and not real. I'm holding off talking about it as long as possible because he has a younger brother. When I was 4, my grandmother told me (and regretted it later!) and then I went and told other kids, which I'm sure made me popular with their parents. ;-)

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S.W.

answers from Peoria on

this is what we say:
"Santa is magic....if you believe in magic, you believe in Santa"
I have a 13 & 15 year old who believe in magic :) it helps with the 6 & 7 year old ;)
at 8 im sure she guesses santa isnt real, but i know with us, they so wanted to contiune to believe so we gave them that option. its so sad when the mgic of christmas is lost
good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Chicago on

my kids are older now, but both believed for a really long time. they were around 12. we always told them that if you didn't believe, santa didn't come! We always told them that we still had to help santa by paying for some of the gifts and that the santas and elves you saw around at the stores were santa's helpers because he was just too busy to do everything by himself.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

Just reading all those post makes me so sad! It's truly one of the sadest moments to tell your child there is no Santa!! I would hold off as long as possible.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

My 10 year old is on the fence, lol! I think its hard because RATIONALLY he has come to realize that Santa's elves can't make a Wi, etc. - but in his heart he still REALLY wants to believe, and so we all keep it going. Sometimes he will ask me those 'tricky' questions too, almost like he is trying to see how creative my answers will be! I am willing to go along with it as long as he still believes even a little bit. He has younger cousins, and I think that has helped him believe a little longer.

When I got old enough to 'doubt' as a kid, my mom sat down with me and read the 'Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus' letter and we talked about what makes something real or important and about the spirit of Santa Claus and why it was a great thing to believe in. She then co-opted me to keep Santa 'real' for my little brother, so we had Santa at our house for another 3 years or so.

It sounds to me like you are handling it just right :)

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