When to Let Them Fall Asleep on There Own..

Anytime is good to start letting them fall asleep on their own. I let my two boys fall asleep on their own from the day they got home. And I never really had the problem of having to deal with them crying cause they needed someone to rock them. But when you do decide to let her fall aslep on her own then you need to do that everynight no matter what. She will cry the first few nights but then she will realize that she can do it on her own. Good Luck!

My 9 month old goes to sleep on his own, the only time he gets rocked to sleep is when he is sick. The key is to wear them down and then you will know when they are ready for bed. Since she is used to this you are going to have to be strong and not fall for the crying. She will cry herself to sleep for bout a week until she realizes that you are not going to hold her anymore. Hope it works, GOOD LUCK!!

C.,
My 16 month old daughter was also used to being rocked. I can't say this will work for your baby but it is worth a shot. We continued to rock but we started laying her down before she got into a deep sleep. This is something we did over time. For the first week we rock her until she was almost deep but not quite, the second week, she was relaxing with her eyes closed. The third week we just rocked her until she relaxed, even if her eyes were open. After that we made sure the house was calm close to bedtime. No wild or rough playing and also she eats an hour before bedtime, and puts on pjs. We started just putting her in bed and leaving pretty quickly and close the door (there is a nightlight) she usually falls right to sleep. Now, when it gets close to her bedtime and she gets fussy or sits around calm, we just put her in bed and she is off to dreamland. Now sometimes we do have nights that we still have to rock her. Usually when she isn't feeling good, her bedtime has passed or a lot of unusual reason. The key is routine and schedule.

With bedtime, or any parenting really, consistancy is the key. You have set up this habit and now are living the consequences. If you want to change things, you're going to be breaking a habit - and habits are hard to break. First of all, if you aren't doing so already, set up a very predictable bedtime routine. For example, my children bathe every night around 7. Then we get dressed and go downstairs for family time, like reading books, until between 7:30 - 7:45. Then it's up to bed. My children sleep from about 7:45 pm till 7:45 am each and every day of the week. We don't do later on weekends. We also place them in bed, tuck them in, tell them their "I love yous" and leave - end of story. My advice is to make it predictable and consistant and eventually, she'll understand that this is the expectation and you'll love the time you have with your hubby at night - I know we do!
Oh, and if she's napping later in the afternoon, like say after 4, she will have a hard time going down anyway because she won't really be tired enough. And make sure she's been physically active and is nice and tuckered out before bath time so the rest of the evening goes smoothly.

I also rock my son to sleep. He is now 9 months old and when we are at home I am the only one who can get him to sleep. I rock him every night. I thought it was a problem until I talked to my mom. She said that me and both of my older brothers were rocked to sleep when we were babies. She said even if it takes a long time for them to stop liking it they eventually will. She said a child will let you know when they are ready to stop. None of us are worse off for it either! You only have this precious time when they are little to be able to rock them and bond with them. As they get older they stop needing us like they did when they are little!

I hope you have found some kind of sanity in your home at night and I pray that you have made some time for yourself!

Good luck!

the best advice i can give is to put her on a schudule. my kids always go to sleep by 9:30 because of shcool .i found my 16 month old knows its time to go to sleep so everytime it takes less and less time for him to fall asleep.sometimes when i dont have time to put him to sleep or im doing something he cries a bit, but when he sees that im not going to stop what im doing he just lays down by himself, and falls asleep.good luck.

We tend to do things very casualy around our house, and we arrange bed time when they are the most tired. We let him play in his room with a small light, and music. after about 45 min. to an hour, he's passed out, having fun untill the minute he went down. no tears, no fuss. I't not nap time, it's quiet time. Best of luck in whichever way works for you.

She is old enough to go to sleep on her own, try to make a routine, dinner bath bed. After bed I would turn lights and tv down, give her a chance to unwind, and after about 15 min when she's getting drowsy, lay her down. If she gets up keep putting her in her bed. I got this off of Super Nanny, so yeah I'm cheating. Also make you time, you have to. I have two little girls, 4 and 16 months. I was alone because hubby is a trucker. I had to move my mother up here to help me. I know exactly how you feel. There is alot more out there. You have to remember you are a woman, with needs. If you are fulfilled then you can give more to hubby and kids. Here for support!

Vikki

She is only 14 months old, but have you tried laying her in her bed while reading a bed time story? That way, she gets what she needs and you have time afterward for alone time with your husband. It also is a great way to nourish in her the love for reading. I don't know what time she goes to bed, but you may try an earlier bed time ( say 15 minutes) so you can read the story and then she can go to sleep.

Hi C., I have a 16 month old who still is not put to sleep on her own. We have tried everything, but the child will scream for hours if left alone in her room. Everyone has told me to just let her cry and she will eventually give in. I hope you have better luck. My older daughter started going to sleep on her own at a year though. With her all I did was woke her up from her afternoon nap after 15 minutes so that she was really tired at bedtime, then laid her in her crib, after a couple of days she was fine. I am sure you will get tons of conflicting advice, I know I did, just do what feels right to you. Good luck

It is going to be very hard for you, but if you want that time you will need to set up a certain time every night for your daughter to go to bed. She will cry at the beginning, but so long as you stick to it she will get used to it. You can let her cry for a while, she is okay. It is okay to check on her, but just go in, comfort her and leave, even if she cries. I have to go through it again each time we have an interruption in our schedule with my baby. My husband and I are both in the military and not stationed together, so each time we visit my baby gets out of his schedule. It is a challenge to get him back, but once I do it is heaven, because he goes down easily. I hope this helps.

I started putting my son in his own bed at 9 months old. He slept with my husband and I up till them and would not sleep on his on. I had to rock him and walk around with him to get him to sleep. It took alot of my time and my husband and I never had any time to our self so my mom told me to start a bed time routine and put him in his bed the same time every nite and to let him cry his self to sleep. So we tried it and it was hard at first because he would cry for hours then fall asleep from crying. After a few weeks he got use to it and it has been working great for us. His bed time is a 9:00pm we start with a bath then I nurse him then brush teeth and then bed time. Hope this helps.

As a Newborn Specialist and Infant Sleep Trainer, I can tell you that all of my "baby clients" are taught to put themselves to sleep from Day One. It takes 8 to 12 weeks to really perfect this, and I spend those first weeks really working with them, teaching them to soothe themselves to sleep and not depend on external sleep props such as rocking, nursing, pacifiers, etc. to get them to sleep. I do not believe in letting a young baby cry it out, and I try not to do CIO with older babies.

I offer consulting to parents who are in situations like you, and if you're interested, you can email me privately.

Good luck to you,
L.
www.NannyForNewborns.com

it will be harder since she is so old already, but if you don't help her learn to fall asleep on her own now it will just get worse later. i would suggest easing her into it. first rock her for a few minutes since that has been your bedtime routine, then explain that you love her but it's time to go to sleep and just put her in her crib and stay right there in a chair by her crib and you can put your hand on her and pat her back or whatever but don't engage her by talking or anything. after a few days of this, move your chair a little further away and if you have to get up every few minutes to pat her back and help her lay down. by doing it like this it will reassure her that you are not abandoning her but at the same time teach her that she can put herself to sleep. also, does she have a lovey? a blanket or stuffed toy or something? you might consider getting her a lovey if she doesn't already have one. it could even be a shirt of yours so she feels like you are there with her. good luck!

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There is a time in everyones life....and now it seems to be time for you. I have raised my 2 children as well as 3 step kids, as well as working in a pediatricians office, I know it is trying, but.....If you set a specific bedtime and stick to it following the same regimen every night, it should be easier. She will cry at first, but it is ok to let her cry. When u put her down tuck her in and give hugs and kisses, then let her know it is time to close her eyes and dream. Leave the room and listen..After 10 minutes if she is still crying, go check on her and verbally assure her, (important not to touch, as for she will want to be picked up) it is ok and time to sleep. Leave room again and wait another 15 minutes to see if she is still crying, and follow again with verbal assurance. Each time you leave room, increase time waiting by 5 minutes, or as much as 10 minutes, the basic idea is the child will be waiting for you to come back and at some point they fall asleep waiting for you. After at least 4 days of this 85% of all children fall asleep after the first 10 to 15 minute check. This worked very well for all my kids, hopefully it will work for u too

Every baby is different, and not everyone wants a home with strict bedtime schedules and so on. It takes all kinds. Still, it is true that a child who needs external cues to go to sleep can really ruin down time for parents. We struggled with this exact issue for months before someone recommended the book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr. Richard Ferber. This book is a life saver and will probably help. Good luck, I know it's frustrating.

i know it is hard and you are ready for time for you and your bhusband, enjoy putting her to sleep now, because as she gets older she will need you to do fewer things for her so cuddle her and put her to sleep, because one day she will be over it and you will miss it. putting my 17 month daughter to sleep everynight is one of my most favorite things, and i dread the day she doesn't want me to do it anymore.

Like most of the other moms said. It will be tough, but you have to be firm on the issue (this will not be easy!)I have a 7 year old who still gives me grief at bedtime, b/c I was so wishy-washy with her. My son who is 17 months now has always put hiself to sleep since I didnt want to make the same mistake twice. I love it that he does that himself, it really does give me some free time in the evenings to just take a hot bath, read or spend some much needed quality time with my husband.

I also have a 14 month old whom I sometimes go through the same thing..Some nights are great and he will go to sleep on his own, but then there are times when it seems like he is crying for hours. I just put him down and let him cry for about 5min, then me or my husband will go in to his room lay him back down and walk out, yes sometimes it takes a while but you just have to be strong, my pediatrician told me once that I tell myself that helps me is "I have never seen a baby get treated for crying" It does not hurt them to cry...it hurts you more...

Hi,
Just got on this site, and you are the first question I found. Boy, that will always be one of the tough ones, to let them fall asleep on their own, but if you don't, just more work on your part. I am a mother of an almost 16 year boy, and a almost 13 month old little girl, and let me tell you, I have learned my lesson with the second one on many levels.
With my son I was a stay at home Mom in a new place (husband military) and knew no one, and had no clue what to do, so I basically did whatever I could to make my son happy, including rocking him to sleep, and did it all backfire. By 5 he was so out of control with me he had to go live with his Dad, cause I could not handle him anymore (now we have a great relationship) So, when my daughter came along I did everything a lot strickter and with CONSISTENCY (think that is one of the most important things about parenthood) and for it I have a wonderful little girl that minds me and goes to bed at 7.30 every night and sleeps till 7.30 the next morning (well okay, still takes a 6 AM feeding, but am willing to do that for the extra 1.5 or 2 hours she gives me after that.
Because you started later it might take you a bit longer, but at her age she should somewhat understand, so if you start giving her very consistent evening routine, so she knows what to expect, with a very consistent time ( I know it keeps you more tide to the house in the evening but it will be worth it and babies crave routine) she will learn at some time. You might be lucky and it happens in a few days or maybe much longer. Just know that when you decide to start this you need to stick to your guns no matter what or else she will learn that as long as she keeps crying you will give in ( and she needs to learn that Mommy is the boss)Good luck, and remember little babies little problems, big children big problems, so stick to your guns.
As far as being a stay at home Mom, I still am too and loving it, but also the second time around I realised how important it is to keep outside contacts, so even though I just moved her less than a year ago I joined every Mommy group, new comers group etc I could get my hands on. As stay at home Moms we get lonely, feel underappreciated and out of the loop so support is to me the most important thing I can do for myself, and I am a MUCH better Mom for it.
Good luck
C. :>)

Right now is a joyous and crucial age to be able to do things for as well as with them. However, If you are adament about getting some you time, Start putting her down a little earlier and at least read to her or listen to some music with her until she gets in the habit of sleeping on her own. Start a routine, but make sure you do this little by little. Hope it helps.