Still Rocking 9 Month Old to Sleep

Updated on September 22, 2006
J.E. asks from Orlando, FL
20 answers

My 9 month old son is wonderful. He sleeps 10-11 hours through the night. My only concern is that I am rocking him to sleep each night. I would really like to teach him to go to sleep on his own, but am afraid I will mess up his nighttime sleep. Does anyone know of any good books or have any advice on how I can get him to soothe himself to sleep? (I am not a fan of crying it out). Thank you.

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S.E.

answers from Orlando on

I say rock that baby as long as you can. I rocked both of my boys and they grew out of it. He will grow out of it soon enough on his own and you will be begging him to let you hold him and rock him. Trust me, my boys are now 17 and almost 19 years old and they will still sit on momma's lap from time to time. It is a bond that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world. Enjoy it while you can because it does not last and it will be the little things like that you will miss the most when they grow up.

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A.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

My son is almost nine months and what I do is let me lay in bed for a while by hisself. Like you I can't just let him cry it out so I let him cry a little. After a while I'll go in and rock him to sleep. I'm finding that more and more he will cry for a while and then play himself to sleep. I also find myself letting him cry a little longer each time in hopes that he will fall alseep on his own. I don't want to start the Mommy will sleep with me thing that almost happened already.
Hang in there! ;)

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

This can be such a hard subject and I know that every child is different. People who did this and had problems when the child was older definately have their reasons for being against it. However, I personally agree with some of the later suggestions that he will grow out of it on his own. My 16 month old son was always rocked to sleep, despite EVERYONE telling me that I shouldn't do it. Around 11 months, I noticed that he was having trouble actually falling asleep on me, so I would rock him for 10 minutes or so, lay him down and he would fall asleep on his own. I think the bigger in size they get, the lass comfortable it becomes. I still follow the same routine. We get his water, read a few books, shut off the light and rock and talk for a few minutes and I put him in his crib. We still have his mobile up and the aquarium toy in there. He either goes right to sleep or he gets up and turns those things on. He likes having the noise to fall asleep to. So in my experience, he weaned himself. I personally wouldn't worry about it yet and enjoy it! My son has been sleeping for 11-12 at night since he was 6 months old, so it couldn't be that bad! When he is very tired he will fall asleep on us and I just don't worry about it. In 6 months or so, if you are worried that it is having a negative impact on his sleep, rock him until he is just about asleep and put him down. I hate crying it out as well, but if they are really tired, it won't last long. I still will not let my son get into a full cry alone in a dark room, I think that is wrong. your child will let you know what they need and what they want and I am sure you will work it out. having those soothing toys in his crib has definately been a must for us.
I think that the biggest positive there is for doing this is that it creates a positive association with sleep. I tell my son it is time to read a book and go to bed, and he runs into his room. What child would like sleep or their crib if they are left there to cry?? What could be better then falling asleep in mommy's arms? I know what all the books say and believe me, I really stressed about this after reading all of them. You decide what is best for your own situation, don't be pressured.

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J.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Hey, as long as they sleep through the night, who cares how you get them there. What I wouldn't give for a child that sleeps 10-11 hours...count your blessings and enjoy every minute of it!!!!

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J.J.

answers from Lakeland on

J.,

When your son is ready he will go to bed on his own, to this day I still sing my son (9) to sleep. It is something special that he and I share and I appreciate it that he still lets me even though I can't kiss him in front of his friends, I do however get a hug once in awhile. My 2 year old however was premature and while in the hospital they woke him up every 3 hours, he would wake up like clockwork every night and would never sleep in his own bed. He is getting to the point now where he can sleep for atleast 5 hours and becoming more independant and wanting his own space so everyonce in awhile will go in his room and go to bed. But every morning I wake up and he is in there with me and my husband. It is getting better and eventually he won't need or want to be with us all the time. Enjoy this time with your son it doesn't last long.

J.

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B.M.

answers from Tampa on

WHILE IN CRIB, PAT AND OR RUB BACK. LET NAP TIME BE IN A BOUNCY SEAT AND BOUNCE IT OR LET IT VIBRATE. THIS WORKED GREAT FOR ME, DO IT SLOWLY AND IT WON'T DEVISTATE, BUT BE CONSISTANT OR HE WON'T ADJUST. GOOD LUCK

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C.J.

answers from Tampa on

Wow, I really miss those times and wish I could get them back. First of all, you're very blessed to have a child that sleeps so well at such a young age. If it takes some rocking to get there, use that time to detox from the day and get some rest yourself. What's sadly inevitable is that he'll eventually grow out of the need to be rocked or cuddled...my four-year old son still lets me hold him, but I know the day will come when he just doesn't want or need that sort of affection from me. I dread it. My two-year old daughter loves having me love on her, and I think I'll get to do it a lot longer with her, but still, she will eventually grow out of it too. Enjoy your time with your baby while you can...it passes so quickly.

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V.

answers from Boca Raton on

J. I can only tell you this:
i have 25 months old twin that still fall asleep with one parent in their respective rooms. which means, we made a mistake form the beginning by putting them to sleep while touching their backs and look at where at now. it takes them exactly one hour with us in the room for them to fall asleep. so you might want to consider CIO now rather than when the baby develops personality and then will not respond well to changes
good luck

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M.C.

answers from Melbourne on

Hello J..
Heads up on the rocking thing, my first son was rocked to sleep til he was 3yrs old. The older they get the harder it is to break this habit. You might try for starts use lavendar lotion and bath soap at bedtime and maybe pat his back as well as rub. Now my son is turning 5 and goes to bed on his own.
Another great thing is you to can use the lavendar soap to get a relaxed night of sleep for yourself.

Best wishes,
M. C.

mother of 2 boys ages 2 and 4

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N.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

I am a mother of 4 but definitly no expert. My advice would be that time passes away to quickly, the "baby" stage is over extremely fast so enjoy the cuddles now. I have some babies that loved to be rocked and some that I could just lay down with their binki and they would crash:) If your baby wants 15 minutes of your time before bed charish that. In a year he won't. 2 of my kids didnt even sleep through the night untill they were 13 months so you are very lucky. I am also not a fan of crying it out, call me a wimp but I couldnt do it and sure enough they are all growing up(my youngest just turned 2)and none of them cry at night or need mommy to fall asleep anymore.

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S.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

My husband and I still rock our 20 month old to sleep everynight. It is wonderful bonding time for her and daddy. She has been sleeping through the night since she was one month old so why ruin a good thing.

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B.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi, there. I am a 32 year with a 3 year old girl. I rocked my daughter to sleep until she was 18 months. I don't recommend it, but I loved it because I felt like that was our special time together. Here's what I did, I laid her on her bed/crib, put my arm on her back or butt and rocked her a little bit. Another thing I did was place a chair next to her bed and read a book to her. If it's long enough (the book) she would fall asleep fast. It takes time, trust me I know. I wouldn't let her cry to sleep either, because I noticed if she cried, she would not have a restful night. Well, hope that info helps, good luck!

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M.J.

answers from Tampa on

Hi J.,

My name is M. and I also am still rocking my son to sleep. Unless it is bothersome to you I do not see any problem with it. My 2 year old does not want to be held that often so I feel that it is my son and I's bonding time. Enjoy it while it lasts. It won't be too long until they do not want to be rocked at all. This is just my suggestion.

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K.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

There is a book that I am pretty sure is called The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. It was a great book. I couldn't find my copy to confirm the title but you can find it in the family section at most bookstores. Like you I cannot allow my 10 month old to cry himself to sleep. I tried the ten minute thing and it ripped my heart out. This book really helped to assure me that the technique I use is ok and eventually my son will learn to go to sleep on his own. It gave me permission which I think is what I was looking for. The author does stress that the technique you use should work for you and as long as you are ok with it there is no need to change. Hope this helps

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M.M.

answers from Orlando on

Well Well Well..... I did the same as you, I rocked Matthew to sleep every night, then he became so used to it that at three I was still holding him to go to sleep.... Now at five we have a routine that we follow.... I think the best way is... start slow, rock him until he is just about to fall asleep, then put him in his bed pat his pat, humm, sing, whatever and then rock less and less.... This will be hard at first and remember a little crying is ok... but stick to it and then you will be good to go!!

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M.S.

answers from Orlando on

Hi- I am also married, 34, first time mom with a 13 month old. I still rock him for about 1-3 minutes in my arms to get him drowsy before putting him in his crib to sleep, and he sleeps 10-12 hours as well. I figure it's a small price to pay when I hear of other mom's who's children don't sleep as well. He lets me know when he is ready and we have a routine. Other than the fact that he is getting pretty heavy :), it works for us. What have other moms said? What do most moms do? Put their child in the crib wide awake and the child falls to sleep? Let me know...

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R.J.

answers from Orlando on

hello

I would start with putting your child in the crib play some soft baby music and just rub there face , back or hair and hum with the music or try reading to him. I hope this helps

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B.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I use to rock my daughter to sleep as well and still do a few times when she is either sick or just not able to fall asleep. I started letting her fall asleep on her own when she was about 9 mths and set up a routine. I would give her a bath, read her a story and put her to bed. Once the routine was established she realized that bath time meant it was time for bed. I also would give her a pacifier to help soothe her. I do not believe in letting her cry it out either and normally she will go to bed on her own without crying. Some nights I do let her fuss for a few minutes and then she will fall asleep. Try setting up a routine and giving him something to soothe him (i.e. pacifier). I would first start with maybe rubbing his back but not taking him out of the crib so he knows you are there. Then slowly stop rubbing his back but still stay in the room so he knows you are there and then eventually leave the room. My daughter was really easy to adjust. I just decided one day that she needed to start falling asleep on her own and within 2 days she was. I never had to rub her back or any of that. Your son might end up being more difficult. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Tampa on

I was in the same boat as you about a year and a half ago except i was having to nurse my son to sleep. i wasn't a fan of letting my son cry to long before i would hop out of bed and go to comfort him. my husband had to start talking me out of doing this because it only taught my son that if he cried or whimpered in the slightest bit mama would come running. once we started to transition him to soothing himself to sleep it only took about 3 nights of crying for only about an hour or so (less each night)before he was going to sleep on his own without us having to comfort him at all. i know it sounds cruel (and its very hard for a mother to do) but letting him cry actually does work and he still slept the entire night just as if i had nursed him to sleep. trust me i know how hard it is to sit by while your child cries but you will be greatful in the long run. if you still dont like this idea you can always try to put your son to bed while he is awake and then sit by the crib to comfort him and each night get further and further away until you are out of the room. i have also seen this recommended several times. good luck and i hope you find the answer you need.

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