When Did You Have 'The Talk' with Your Kids

I started having talks with my daughters about sex as early as they could talk, since it is a natural part of life. It was always about different little things and different levels.

However, I think that what you are describing goes beyond anything I have heard of other than on discussion boards on children's mental health issues.

Several things come to my mind about what may be termed "hypersexuality" in a 7 year old boy. One is pituitary-adrenal function. I would start with the pediatrician with the possibility of getting him thoroughly tested by an endocrinologist. Another thought is whether he shows any signs of "mania" such as decreased sleep, or what looks like hyperactivity. Another thought is if he could have been too personally exposed to something sexually explicit?

Regardless -- I would definitely have a talk about boundaries and get across that those boundaries with other people cannot be crossed at any time what-so-ever. Even children can be put on the sex-offender registry, before they are old enough to really even understand. It tears families apart, strips the child of normal adolescent development after they get older, and can dog them decades later after they grow up and are married with children of their own. The punishment in our society now for deviation from the norm sexually is horrendous and I would do anything in my power to not let this escalate.

I have a 4 yr old daughter and 6 yr old son. We have talked about private parts and defined those as anything a bathing suit covers. We only allow them to kiss each other on the cheek. They have asked questions about where babies come from and how the baby gets out (I had 2 c-sections so I explained it that way). I try to be honest without giving them more info than they need. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. We have also stressed (especially to my son) that when a girl says "no" it means "no." When my daughter was younger, he would try to kiss her or tickle her and she would laugh and say "no." We had to enforce that even if she was laughing, it still meant no and it had to stop. Hope this helps.

I had the talk with my son when he was about 9 or 10. These days you have to start early because kids are learning so much from their friends that it is crazy. I think I actually scared or grossed my son from ever wanting to have sex period. I really get deep with him because I had him when I was very young and I dont want him to follow in my footsteps. I sit down with him and just have heart to hearts on a regular about whats going on in life, school, just about everything. I go as far as checking his back pack when he comes from school and yes I go thru his things some people feel like that is invasion of privacy, oh well he is 13 and I am the parent I can look thru whatever I want. I would like to know what is going on with and around him. Its not just to be nosey, some parents dont even go in their kids room. I try to be invovled in my son's personal space as much as I can and be apart of things he likes(in other words I want to try to make it as easy as possible for him to want to come and talk to me about anything) But anyway do start in my opinion as early as between 8 and 10

Mary,
I think you did a fantastic job of talking to "both" your kids on this subject.
As a child growing up and as a mother, I never kept these things secretive from my children. I always knew from the time I could remember about appropriate behaviors and so did my kids.
This is all a part of life, growing up, exploring, etc. Whatever you want to call it. I think as they grow, they will ask questions that are age appropriate. And you can give them age appropriate answers.
Keep the lines of communication open. It pays off, at least with my three it did. Mine are all grown now, but we can talk about almost anything. Of course there are some things children just don't talk to mom about, but I can honestly say, my children are open with me. I was open with my mom and dad. Still am.

My oldest is 3, so I really don't have a personal experience to base this on, but I think it sounds like you followed those beautiful motherly instincts and did what was right. If something "creeps" you out, don't ignore that feeling. the only thing I would suggest is going to the library and looking for books on the topics. This day in age, kids are learning so much from TV, music, and friends that I think you've picked the right time in his life to discuss these issues. Good luck to you!

There is nothing wrong with your son. He is just acting out what he sees on TV and everywhere else in our world. I think you did a great job just talking with him. Explaining what romance is and who it is for and not for is good. I was 5 when my dad had "the talk" with me and I thought it was funny to hear him name male and female private parts. (my mom was too uncomfortable to talk to me about sex until I was 18 hehe). But he didn't talk to my brothers about it until they were 8-9 because they just didn't ask about it and nothing really brought the subject up. I got in trouble at 9 for using the word "sexy" in my vocabulary. I didn't understand what it meant, but I recall just wanting to sound grownup. It was innocent.