What Would Your Reaction Be ....?????

Well, I must say I am quite jealous that your husband was even open to buying patio furniture and a BBQ in the first place. Hee hee. Pretty ambitious shopping trip for the day- esp for a husband.
Seriously though- sounds like communication 101 troubles. Try not to take your husband's insensitivity with you as a personal attack. From your story, I get the sense that he gave up on the shopping out of his own frustration with the situation. And your lashing out was yours. My husband and I have these situations a lot when we have not spent quality time together for awhile. (ie: dates, sex, laughing together) If that's not the case then file that away because the family that doesn't play together doesn't stay together.
But, as a Mother of 3 I know that long shopping trips are out of the question. As parents you "both" needed to consider the family as a whole. Maybe in the future, scheduling a play date, babysitter, or having a grandparent watch the kiddos might have help you two to reduce the stress, to stay focused on the task and make quicker decisions.

Hope you all are cooking and eating in the patio real soon.

Hi E.,
I'm so sorry you and your husband are at odds on this. I would have certainly had issues with it as well.

I would like to mention first that sometimes situations like these are the sign of a bigger problem (no trust, no respect, general anger or any other issue). If that is not the case and it is just this one incident, then
I believe you guys had good intentions that just didn't work out.

The best that can come out of this situation is a good learning experience. Unless your husband is unusually cruel (and I'm not defending anyone), I don't think he meant to upset you or the kids. As a sahm, I remind myself that my husband sometimes forgets the challenges of hour to hour with the kids. Now you know for the next big purchase, have him do some homework and shop online. Then go out and buy what the family needs. That saves time, money and the girls can get their naps on time. Just help him make better choices.
I hope this helped.
Good luck!

Yep, sounds like a typical type of BS fight me and my hubby would have. If he was insistent on going home, I would have said "Fine. We'll go home, you and the kids can go inside, and I will take my happy fanny to the store myself to get the things we need". One thing I sort of don't understand in your story is why you guys were having such a difficult time finding what you needed. There are many, many stores around here that have multiple patio sets, and if I had my kids with me, I think by the 2nd or 3rd stop, I would have been ready to just go ahead and purchase one instead of trekking on and on. Just a thought. Hope you guys have kissed and made up by now and had a good 4th!

I would have reacted the same way. Sounds like my husband. He does things like this all the time or we'll spend all day going to buy something and then we'll get home and he'll want to return it. Drives me nuts!!

I would strangle him!

I don't know why he was so unable to see your perspective. I guess I would try to talk to him at an unheated moment and say, "I just really want to talk about this with you. It upsets me more that you couldn't empathize with my frustration than how crazy our day went. I would like to try to get you to understand how I felt. You never have to agree with my position, but I need you to acknowledge the legitimacy of my feelings. I need you to understand how hard that day was for me and how I willingly went through it because I understood there would be a solved problem at the end of it." -- or something like that.

And then, as hard as it may be, put the episode behind you. Forgive him and forgive yourself.

And the next time he feels moved to go on a shopping spree, maybe tell him that you aren't willing to upset the kids' naptimes and free times and that you trust him to make a great choice without you. (and don't bring up the reason for that answer.)