What Would You Do? Fundraiser Againt Your Beliefs...

They are doing what they feel best for their child rather you agree or disagree if you aren't comfortable about this fundraiser then don't go, don't participate in this event,don't give a donation.

just don't participate if you dont agree. Or ask for more information if you are interested in learning more before participating

This is a public school and this fund raiser has nothing to do with helping the school out. I would not agree with this and would probably go to the school district about it. Who is to say this family needs help more than another family in the district? I sort of agree, but I guess for different reasons.

If it were my child I would want all hands on deck. That's how I appoach it. Fly my baby to the ends of the Earth. Experimental or not. How would you feel about "concientious objectors" in the fight for your child?
When you give to a charity, as I'm sure you know, you can't guarantee the desired outcome will be reached. I wouldn't withhold my gift to Cancer research or HIV research because they might not ever cure it, what if it doesn't work. If it's political than that is a totally differant story. My child won't shill for a candidate or a point of view but for a medical procedure for a child? I just give with the heartfelt intention of doing good and what happens after that is in Gods hands.

I would imagine that the questions like "What if everyone works so hard to raise all the money and then it doesn't work or something worse? Why isn't the stem cell transplant being done here yet if it works so well? Are they giving false hope that this will heal them? " have already been asked and answered by the family. They obviously have enough hope to proceed.

It's not for a "certain Presidential Can(d)idate or Pro Choice or Life" so I would probably participate, as this is obviously a family in my community that is reaching out for help in a desperate situation. I assume this is a life threatening situation so I wouldn't try to play God.

If you feel very strongly (for whatever reason) then just opt out.

I think most good medicine comes from Europe/China and slowly makes its way to the states. I dont see why you would have a hard time raising money for a family that is obviously trying to do what it can for their child.

Hey mama, go with your gut. If it's something fun your son can participate in then you don't have to not let him go, it's just like going to Six Flags for a day and paying them to have a good time. On the other hand, if it's something where they just ask for a donation, don't give if it bothers you. But....

From a medical perspective, there are some procedures that carry such a high risk or are so controversial that we can't or won't do them in the US yet because of all the red tape. From a parent's perspective, if my boys had some awful, life ending disease or disorder, like Batten's or adrenoleukodystrophy, would I travel to China or anywhere else in the world to try ANYTHING to save them?? Absolutely. So I understand that it may feel wrong to you, but you may not completely understand the reason they are doing it. I don't know if you've ever known anyone with a child suffering from a neurological, lysosomal, or metabolic disorder, but they are devastating. Depending on the disorder and when it strikes, your child could go from completely healthy and fine, to rapidly deteriorating to a point where they can't walk or talk. Then they die. If one of my kids went through something like this, I would travel to the ends of the universe and risk anything and everything to save them, whether the odds were 1 in 100 or 1 in a trillion.

Maybe ask the parents about their particular situation. You might be surprised how people's beliefs about stem cells can change when it's their baby that is dying.

I don't mean to preach about beliefs, I just have studied and seen firsthand the effects of some of these disorders-- maybe that's not at all what is happening to this family, but most of the experimental procedures in China that I have read about are done for pretty extreme circumstances, not a deviated septum.

Just do not participate this time. No big deal.

There is nothing saying you have to participate.

But, the reason they do not do stem cell therapy here is because our government has put so many restrictions on stem cell research due to pressure from the pro-life lobby groups that we are years behind in these kinds of life saving studies. I would personally have no problem giving to a sick child in our school if there was even a chance it could help them live a happier and more normal life.

It must be really hard for this family. If ou don't want to do it then just make your excuses and don't participate. I would not tell anyone why, it could only hurt that family and they are already feeling enough stress. Your opinions are yours and they don't need to know why you don't feel good about this.

If it was your child and this seemed like something that could fix your child you would try to do everything in your power to get there too. Be compassionate to the family but be true to your feelings too.

I would donate money and let my child(ren) participate in the activities because I feel like I am in no position to judge these parents. It's obvious they are desperate. It sounds like this procedure in China is their only hope for a cure. Even if it doesn't work, they will know that they did everything they could.

And as for why certain medicines and medical procedures aren't performed in the US when they are performed elsewhere is because we have strict guidelines as to what gets approved and what doesn't. It could be that there are medical trials for this procedure going on right now in the US that this child did not qualify for.

Do you know what kind of procedure it is? Is it a genetic, potentially fatal disease that our FDA doesn't have a 'cure' for yet? Or is it a family that just doesn't 'agree' with Western medicine? If your child was in the same position, would you try every single last resort method to help him?
If you truly feel uncomfortable about the family's request, you don't have to participate. But, if it gives a child some glimmer of hope, maybe just donate $5 and still not participate?

Well, obviously if they are willing to go all the way to China for this they have reason to believe that it could work or they are desperate for anything to help. this would be enough for me to support it. If your CHILD wants to support this effort I would let him-whats the harm.

And I think this issue is entirely different than politics and abortion.

It is very common for people to go to other countries for procedures when their insurance will not cover something. A lot of times, what will cost $100k plus here, will cost less than $10k plus travel, for the same, top notch care. Many times, the patient's doctor will even tune in via satellite to watch and help out, or even control a robot for the surgery. Do a little research, it may make you feel more comfortable about the whole thing. Medical procedures are just way over priced in America.

If you really do not believe in the cause though, then you do not have to participate. Fundraisers are never mandatory, especially for outside interests.

It sounds rather weird to me. Just buy a tee shirt or some other small item and leave it at that.
Fund raising in general drives me nuts. When ever possible I'll write a check directly to the PTA, but I won't do fund raisers. We have no one to sell to. When I worked in an office, management put a stop to it because it was taking up too much company time. We don't need any overpriced candy, cookies, wrapping paper, candles, frozen pizzas, cookie dough, coupon books, etc, very often only 10-20 cents on every dollar spent actually goes to the charity in question and I refuse to pimp my kid.

If you don't feel comfortable with it and its against your beliefs, it should be a no brainer. Say No. I am not comfortable with this. I wish you the best, but I can't be a part of this.

You can't please them all, don't contribute. You can certainly send your well-wishes, but you don't have to support a cause you don't feel strongly about.

M

Beauty of fund raisers is they're voluntary. Instill your own values in your own children, get involved where you see fit, forgive yourself (and everyone else) for not saving EVERY one EVERY time!

:)

No, I would not support a charitable drive that went against my beliefs. For this particular one, I would find out exactly what the procedure is, why they're going there for it and investigate it. Often people travel to Asia, Europe or Latin America because they're desperate, and certain medical procedures that have shown great promise are not yet legal here -and often it's for a variety of reasons. Because of the religious right and the former Bush administration, the U.S. fell quite behind on stem cell research and technology that is miraculous in some cases. When Pres. Obama lifted the Bush restrictions on stem cell research in 2009, the scientific community then went nuts filing for patents, and that's now holding up progress.

Many people go to China for stem cell transplants having to do with cerebral palsy, paralyzation, and other spinal problems. If I were in a wheelchair or my child had cerebral palsy, and I knew people had been helped dramatically in China, I would be there in a minute! However, I don't think I would ask my community to fund it. I take it this is for something pretty serious for a child -something that may be life threatening or greatly reduce or shorten the quality of life? That's probably why the community has taken it on, but if you don't agree with it, then you should abstain.

Some articles:

http://www.minnpost.com/stories/2008/03/25/1258/stem_cell...

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1984948/us_patents_on...

Here's some very interesting info regarding the Chinese stem cell treatments and cerebral palsy. It involves a lot more than physical therapy:

http://www.cerebralpalsysource.com/News_and_Articles/cp-t...

And while cerebral palsy isn't necessarily fatal, it severely compromises quality of life:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH###-###-####

The procedure is to help the child based on her parents best judgement. They are going forward with it and need help with the cost. I would go with it and your child will know he helped a schoolmate...it is teaching him to be charitable and non-judgemental.

The risk you speak of is the parent's choice. They will not blame you or the other fundraisers if it doesn't go well, they will blame themselves.

I hate fundraisers but always allow my kids to participate when it's a child in question. we just bought plenty of flowers to sponsor a child to go to disney (cancer patient). i, of course, had to explain to my young ones why we're doing this for this child and not for you :) but yes i don't question when it's a child in question.
just to answer, we have recently found out that there may be procedures available for us in Europe (Switzerland) and we're in talks (husband and I) whether we want to pursue (not doing fundraisers though). but there are a lot of restrictions in the US when it comes to 'controversial' surgeries, procedures, therapies etc.

I understand your misgivings, just as I understand the desperation these parents face (I am a PT who works with kids with CP). You could look at it this way. What would your decision teach your child? If you child is old enough to understand the ethical issues, maybe you can have a serious discussion and get your child's opinion. It sounds to me like your child is very young. If you choose to opt out, will you be sending a message that everyone else is helping someone in need and you are not? Perhaps it might be more of a life lesson to him at this age just to help minimally and teach him that people can join together to help someone in need. Just a thought.

Fundraisers, are voluntary.
You do not have to give money.
Sure, your child can still have fun with the activities.
Or... is this ONLY for people/kids that gave money?
Usually, whether or not a parent gave money toward the fundraiser, ALL kids can still participate in the activities. At least that is how it is at my daughter's public school.

Fundraisers are voluntary, and only if a family/parent can give money. Or not. For whatever reason.

The thing is, this is for a family and their child.
So, the school is helping.
Helping is not mandatory.
I am sure, not 100% of the entire student body, is able to help physically or in money.

For this family/their child, it is a significant thing for them.
Not everyone has to.
It is voluntary.

The school, is merely helping one of their own.
Not judging them.

If you don't approve of where the funds are going, keep your wallet closed.

You can't look at it as a medical procedure but a child/classmate in need. How would you feel if it was your child had a medical problem and you wanted to give them every chance at a healthy future but needed the community's support to make it possible. Would you want someone to judge the procedure or give you the financial support necessary to the best of their ability?

You are going to have to make so many decisions like this as your child gets older, and it gets more complicated as your child begins asking questions (and deserves honest answers) about why you feel the way you do. I simply do not participate in some fundraisers for various reasons, and I explain to my children why I choose not to participate. My children are old enough to understand my explanations, and we have good discussions about it. If people at the school ask questions, be honest as well. No one at my children's schools have ever asked me about why I participate in some fundraisers, but not others. Good luck with your decision.

If you dont want to participate, dont. Be prepared to answer questions as to why tho ... I'm sure you will be asked.

This is a really tough question and my first thought is that if you're against it, then don't support it. On the other hand, if this is going to ostracize your son you may want to consider making a small donation.

I'm actually really surprised that your son's school is doing this- is it "school sponsored" or "parent organzied"? Most schools that I have worked with shy away from these things... they may ask for donations to local restaurants, toy stores, books, etc for the "recovery", but to sponsor the trip? I'm with you... something about this just doesn't feel right and I can't put my finger on it either.

If you were in a situation, you were desperate to help your child, and you made a decision-the best, or last, option that you felt was right for your child, how would you feel not to be supported? You might not make that same decision if your child were in that situation but you would have the right, as a mother, to do what YOU see fit for your child. If you don't support it you don't have to donate, but why judge or discourage what another parent might consider their only hope? I say keep quiet, I can't imagine how much the family has suffered thus far, and be glad that you are part of a community that helps those in need. And remember, at some point all operations and medical procedures were experimental.

All school fundraisers are against my beliefs!! I like what "B" said!
I do not buy into them. I am not going to make my child a salesperson for way overpriced items that the school hardly benefits from. Now, will i donate time and/or money to the school PTA- ABSOLUTELY! Just not in fundraising form. If you are against this then dont participate- there is no explanation needed. I think a fundraiser like this one should be done outside of the school. No child should be "left out" for not giving- that is crazy! I mean nothing negative to the family in need but I would probably opt out too. Good luck to you and your decision!

that is a strange one. and from your description i would also not want to support that at least not through my school where i felt obligated. If i were you i would wish i had enough ho haw to go in and talk to the principal and say nice idea do it on the weekend or something like that. Is it during school hours? and how much exactly are they trying to raise and what would that mean you would need to give? weird. maybe send in a few dollars but ....

If you don't like it, don't go. Just explain to your son that you only belive in donating to causes you feel are justafiabley important.

There are so many well deserving things to donate time and money to that it's not necessary for everyone to agree on them. I would definitely let your child participate. There is no donation to small to help in the long run and it will be a good learning experience for him regardless of treatment outcome which is never guaranteed. This is for a medical test/family expenses and not for an opinion on what we would do in this case for that child. If it were for something strongly controversial, I wouldn't do it but in this case .. a child needing a medical treatment is what's important to me.

Would they do this for every child in the district is what I would ask. I give to lots of charities and would also have a hard time giving to this one. This is not something that should be done at school unless they are going to do it for every child that has medical problems and their family cannot pay for the treatment.

Yes, I would do whatever it took if my child was sick and I needed to go to another country for treatment, I would sell my house, car and all my possessions and beg on a street corner but to ask other children to collect for one sick child when I am sure there are other children in the same district who's parents cannot afford their medical needs does not set well with me either.

If this was my child I would just explain that you are not going to participate in this fund raiser since you support so many others. This to me is something that should be started by family, co-workers or friends of the family not the school.

Do what feels right to you and if someone questions why you or your son are not participating tell them that it is a private decision and that you do not need to explain.

Good luck with this.

I think it's odd that they're doing a public school fundraiser for ONE child. That sounds more like a church fundraiser. It seems to me like fundraisers for public schools should be for text books, computers, general school fund, or a field trip. I would feel just as weird about it as you do.

Is it a carnival or something? If so, just see it as a fun activity for your kid. If your kid has to sell things door to door, don't do it. My son is in Cub Scouts and we skipped selling popcorn. I don't think my son is old enough (he just turned 7) to be doing that, and I have a super hard time asking anyone to pay $8 for a stupid bag of popcorn. Not that fundraisers are ever good deals, but come on! Popcorn costs $.35 a bag at home. Just ask people donate money and skip the pretense of selling something!

I would not support something that I didn't agree with that was one on one like that. Of course by default we all support all kinds of thing when we give our money anywhere even to Wal-Mart etc. But I don't worry about it in a global sense bc hey we have to eat and I am not in charge of the whole world anyway!! But if there was something I just did not think was alright I would not give my money for the good of the group etc. I am just not wired like that. That is a bit of an akward situation, but if I didn't agree I wouldn't support with my finances. Good luck!!

I think to a certain extent you just have to suck it up, especially if it's being done during school hours. It really depends on what type of fund raiser it is. No, I wouldn't buy a t-shirt. If it's a event, make other plans for the same day so you don't have to attend.