Want to See How Other Mom's Feel About Privacy.

I would apologize if my 2 year old snuck under a stall and I would tell them no and take them out. However, if a 2 year old snuck under mine I would think it was funny and I would not care. Even if I was buck naked. They really are only 2 and don't have the capacity to judge nor do they care enough to remember.

I would not get freaked out about it and I don't think she would have seen anything that would scar her from peeping under the stall. You were just changing clothes, right?

My response probably would be something like... "Well Hello!" and shrugged it off. No biggie in my book and no need to scold the child.

If the child was older (as in aged enough to know better), it might be a litlte different but still.. I wouldn't get worked up over it.

I probably would have said something like "hey cutie" to the little girl loud enough for her mom to hear and shrugged it off. Gosh knows my kids have done some things they shouldn't have done :).

I don't think the other mom should have gotten mad, but I think you could have approached it differently too. Water under the rbidge at this point :).

how do you 'nicely' tell a 2 year old that she's 'not nice and inconsiderate'?
a tiny girl is very different from a boy who's looking for jollies.
i'd simply have laughed and said 'well hello there!' loudly enough for the mom to hear.
i'm sure she wasn't 'watching' you pruriently. no need to scold her.
khairete
S.

"Uh oh! Did you lose your mommy?"
That's my go to answer when I see children misbehaving. Not that I think a 2 year old looking under a door is misbehaving, I think she was just curious. My daughter is close to 2 and there is NO WAY that she would have been trying to be "not nice or inconsiderate"...she just would have been happy to crawl under something. lol
L.

Gosh, A., I think you got a little too worked up about this. I would have handled this exactly as Suz T. said below. Do you really have a phobia about people looking at you and your kids? How do you survive anywhere in public then? And there is NO WAY in heck that a 2 year old is going to remember your state of undress in a changing room at any point in their future life. That's my opinion!

ETA: Hi A., certainly never meant to be mean. Didn't understand what you meant by people looking at you. Just remember, it was a tiny child, not a 10 year old. :)

I have a 2 year old. If I saw him going towards the divider like he was going to look, I'd call him back. If he went under, I'd be like "Omg, I'm sorry" and tell him no, he's to stay in here with me while I hurry up and finish. (I wouldn't give you time to chastise him, I'd handle it my own way fast enough).
If someone else's child (2) poked their head under I'd say "Hello, I'm getting dressed" so his mom could say it. If the child was 4 or 5, I'd just say shake my head and say "No, stay in your own room now" in a nonthreatening tone (think kindergarten teacher lining children up tone, not mom chastising child tone). 6 and up, I'd be more stern because they'd know better how they were supposed to be behaving.
All that said, I think it's strange how some moms WON'T do their jobs and try to "contain" their children in certain situations. If it's not fun for ME to be in the dressing room with my OWN child, then I'm certainly not going to allow him to go into someone else's dressing room because I'm busy. But some moms are.....different......
ETA: I read some of the responses from other moms on here and I wanted to say that according to the question, she said not to look at people because IT is not nice and inconsiderate. NOT that the child was not nice, but looking at people under the wall is not nice. Not the same thing.

The mom got mad? Really?
I completely agree with you. I understand shopping is tough with little ones, but I hate when moms think its ok to let their children burden other people with their lack of consideration.
I have 3 little ones, I get it.
I could see if the mom didnt notice it at first (she was putting a shirt over her head or something), but to actually know your kid is doing this, not reprimanding her, AND getting angry about it?
She needs to stop taking her kid shopping with her. Period.

Did you give the mother a chance to correct her child?

Mom should have been the person to correct her child, if nothing was forth coming then a simple "uh-oh, it's not good to climb under the wall, besides it so dirty down there".

This had nothing to do with a 2 year old's lack of respect for your space. She acted on impulse, something all 2 year olds are still trying to master. She's not going to remember climbing under there or ever seeing you. Lets say for the sake of argument that she does.....you will probably never see her again and if you do what is she going to say? I mean the logic makes no sense to me.

Dang if i had a dollar for every little one, mine included, that has climbed under a stall. I would be one very rich woman.

ETA..........................................
I find it funny how so many moms are assuming that the mom wasn't watching her kid. In a blink of an eye a kid can be anywhere and do anything. Nowhere did she say mom wasn't watching her kid. she said that mom got upset with her choice of words....I would have too.

Yes, a 2 year old is capable of learning some manners, but the key word is learning. They are still learning and with any learning process it takes time, patience and understanding.

The child was innocent and you tried to make her feel bad. No one wants their child to sneak under a stall they are just fast. It is my nature to apologize when my kids snuck off but in this case I would not have.

Then again when my kids were little I never took them shopping for myself. They were just too fast and with my luck I would be undressed when they darted.

Children that young do not remember much, most of what they do is something really exciting, not looking under a stall. Even if she did, so what?

After thinking about this why didn't you just say to the mom do you have a runner? Do you need help getting her back? Can't even imagine how you would have reacted if mom poked her head under trying to get junior back.

I dont think you did anything wrong, i would have said something too, the mother who got upset should have apologized, not got mad.Two is an age where a child can start learning some manners. It's not like you yelled and cursed at the child.

It wouldn't have bothered me that she saw me. It would have bothered me that the other Mom did not respect my privacy and kept her child in check in a public place.

I would have asked the girl to leave or called her mother immediately. But I would have left the explaining to her Mom - not my place to choose the words about looking, privacy, and body parts. I would have been angry if the Mom didn't discipline her. But maybe Mom didn't like your choice of words? But even so, you are entitled to "defend" yourself.

PS - yeah, I also missed the part about "not nice" and "inconsiderate" I would have been annoyed too if someone else diciplined my daughter. I think all you needed to say was "This is my changing area and it's private. Where's your Mommy?"

I would probably be peeved if my kid got away from me in that situation and then got lectured/ scolded by someone using wording that may cause her to feel shamed or embarrassed, especially when she is little and we are all girls. It wouldn't be a big deal if it was addressed it in simpler terms that didn't come off as a scolding and didn't make anyone feel badly like "hey honey, can we have our privacy, thanks" in a real sweat voice. The way you did it may have angered the mom not only because her daughter was make to feel bad, but the mom is made to feel like a bad parent as well. I don't know about you all but I cannot keep mine contained in the dressing room, (this is why my wardrobe is sad, I don't shop) Honestly, I'd be irked if someone said that to my two year old. And specifically on the issue of privacy, I could care less if a small same -sex child saw me in my bra and panties.

I would have said in a VERY kind voice, " ohhhh sweetie, we're changing in here, will you go back into your dressing room"...

It sounds like you over reacted. I agree with Suz. A loud "hello there" would have gotten the mother's attention. I would have been mad if someone told my almost 2 year old she was inconsiderate. This is a personal problem of yours and really has nothing to do with the child or her mother. If you're really that freaked out about privacy then try on clothes at home. Otherwise, you need therapy to overcome these fears.

I personally don't think you did anything wrong. I don't let my kids crawl into other dressing room stalls. Even as infants, if they started to go that direction, I grab them, tell them no, and try to distract them with the mirror or something out of my diaper bag.

It depends.
Sometimes a toddler just gets away for a minute and other times the parent let's a heap of kids run amok and they don't care who's bothered by it.
It's that whole free range entitlement parenting attitude that crops up in restaurants and other public places that causes the problems.
When I'm in a bathroom or changing room, I'm not there to be dealing with other peoples kids.
My attitude / response varies a lot depending if I think the parent is an idiot or not.
I kept my son under control and never went into situations where my control would be iffy when he was too little to know any better.

As long as you are age-appropriate and sweet to a toddler, I don't think there's anything wrong with you asking her/him not to look under the stall.

That mom was out of line in getting mad.

ETA -- Oh wait, I missed that you told the kid that she was "not nice and inconsiderate." No, that's not the right way to talk to a two year old. She probably doesn't even know what inconsiderate means, and that was too harsh a way to speak to a toddler.

i would have probably not been as nice as it sounds like you were. That mother should have immediately pulled her child away and given you a sincere apology. I don't care how old the child was-it is not ok to do that.

The toddler's mother was upset that you told her it was inappropriate to come into your stall and watch because it was inconsiderate? Wow. Takes all kinds I guess.

Let's put it this way. She's not the one who was put upon or put on the spot. You were. Therefore you were 100% within your rights to discipline that child.

That mother was VERY lucky it was you and not some mean old shrew or some creep hiding out in a stall. ;-)

It's never to early to teach RESPECT of others privacy. And if someone said what you said, to my kids, I would have told my children that I agreed with you.

also My friend has a 2 yr old boy that looks closer to 5.

The situation happened suddenly, it's not like you had time to prepare your words. So no I don't agree with 'you should have chosen different words', that's what came to your mind at the time. Maybe now that you have encountered this, you can come up with a simple line to use for sudden situations with young kids.

Talking kindly is different than scolding.

2 year olds are capable of learning manners; what you encountered was a mother who was never taught any for fear of insulting her feelings. I would have probably followed up by offering to watch the child, for a small fee to compensate for your time. But only after you have had a chance to dress.

You have a right to your own feelings but I dont think it was that big of a deal. She was just a baby and the same sex also right? I think being prudish about nudity just creates more curiosity in children. I was in various states of undress in front of my children (three of them boys) and as a result they are not overly interested in seeing breasts or other body parts on TV or magazines because it doesnt even phase them like how Ive see their peers act.

Well, I have a 4 yr old and one of the things I hate about taking her with me to shop for clothes for myself is the changing room. She is a nosy child. I always told her about looking under the walls. One day she did get "caught" and my reaction was "I told you so". A child should be taught to respect others privacy and I don't think there is anything wrong with telling another child that it is not nice to look at others. The woman that caught my daughter told her that it was her turn to use the room and my d would have to wait her turn.
When I was younger, there was a kid in the neighborhood that would go on the porch and look into the window. His mom got mad when I told him it was not nice. I tell my daughter not to look in people's windows--ring the doorbell or knock and then wait.

I'm with you. I'd be completely appalled & taken aback if someone let their child look under a restroom door or dressing room, let alone allow that child to crawl under it, and not say anything to the child. The parent should've apologized to you & corrected her child. Even though the child was only 2 & just curious (I was the same way when I was that age but got corrected immediately though), the mom should've told her "No! We don't look under doors when someone is in there!" It's unfortunate that we now live in a day & age that parents don't take others in consideration where their kids & respect of others are concerned. I'm so tired of this "I'm here, therefore I'm entitled to do as I please and so are my kids & you can't do a thing about it w/o my permission" attitude that parents have these days. Everywhere we go, no matter where it is, we've found this to be true. You did right IMO, kids need to know when they're wrong & if you're the one who can do that, then you should keep doing what you feel is right. Good luck!!