Time Away from Kids in the Adult Only Dressing Room.

I wouldn't personally care if someone brought their kid in as long as the kid was well-behaved. And I would have no issues with my kid seeing naked people as long as the naked people were well-behaved. I took her with me to a clothing optional retreat when she was a kid. She saw naked people of all sizes and shapes, male and female, with all sorts of body art and ornamentation.
But if the locker room and sauna rules are "adults only," then the lady in question needs to either find a sitter, come when her kid is in school, or find another place to use the sauna that allows kids.
If there's a family dressing room, I don't understand why she doesn't just use that one.

It says adults only. There is a family dressing room. It's simple. That's where she goes with her kid. If someone like me undressed in front if her kid, the kid would never be the same. I have more artificial visible parts and tubes.

I would not want kid watching me. It is marked 18 and over. I would go to manager. If it was not clearly marked it would be different. Sign is there for a reason. NO KIDS. There is an alternative. I would cancel my mbership and take my business elsewhere.

Rules are rules. This woman is teaching her child that the rules don't apply to them. And we wonder why society is failing??

If she has the family dressing room option, she should use it.

Adults need alone time as well. While I don't believe that a 3 or 4 year old will be harmed by viewing naked woman. I would be upset and say something if the rules are posted as NO ONE UNDER 18 and they have a family room option.

What should the facility do? Abide by their rules and ask the woman to remove her child and go to the appropriate facility for her - the FAMILY room.

I guess my thought is this. There is nothing wrong with the human body. If you want privacy from other people seeing your naked body, that is understandable. But I don't see the difference between a child seeing a naked body and an adult seeing it. You are not being lewd. You are wearing a towel. And when you go to change, if you are concerned, step into one of the areas with a curtain across it (I assume there is such a place, as there are in most locker rooms). My guess is that this small child is no more interested in your naked body than she is in anyone else's, and her parents are probably not the type of people who change their clothes behind closed doors. I understand if that's not for you, but that doesn't mean that the child will be scarred for life. Me personally, I think it's okay for kids to see what a normal woman's body looks like. Some bodies are thin and toned, some are rounded. It's ALL okay. Kids are bombarded with images of model-thin, airbrushed people all the time. What's wrong with them seeing what real people look like? Again, if you don't want them seeing you, I understand completely - just change somewhere they won't see you.

i think it's nuts.
i wouldn't care one bit if a tiny child saw me in a towel.
and it's disingenuous to pretend it's about the 'images of a naked woman' polluting the child's mind when it's actually about you.
if you're not afraid of the child's mother seeing your clit, nipples and piercings, why do you assume the kid is that interested?
khairete
S.

Technically, she should be using the family room.

I could see an issue if she had her son in there (if the son was older than 3 or so... Younger than that, I don't care.), but a little girl? Eh. If anything, I would think it's good for her- she gets to see that women's bodies come in all shapes and sizes. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it at all. Its a changing room, not an orgy. I wouldn't feel any more uncomfortable changing in front of her than I would in front of the other women. The US has so many hang-ups about nudity/body image, it's rediculous.

Maybe I'm more open-minded about this because I found myself more 'traumatized' by my excessively private/modest upbringing, and had so many body issues because of it. After I joined the military and had to shower with 30+ Other women at the same time, I realized that it was truly no big deal and was finally able to overcome my own issues. My daughter sees myself (and the other women in our family) naked fairly often. None of us bother to hide when changing in front of her, and she often showers with me (or her aunt, or her grandma) when we are short on time or don't have access to a bathtub. She has never had any issues. I think she has been more traumatized by bodies just walking around Walmart. Lol.

Buuuut, rules are rules and ultimately, if she has been told to she should be using the family room then she needs to abide by the rules. I think the most they would be able to do is to revoke her gym privileges. It's not a very feasible option to pay an extra employee to just stand at the door just to make sure nobody takes their kid into the changing room (the office/executive staff have their own work to do). That would just drive prices up.

You have the right to want your privacy. You have the right to expect everyone to abide by rules which were posted.

I personally think this mom is nuts. Not because I would worry about what the kid is seeing, but because she is refusing a reasonable option of a family changing room. She chose not to listen to the rules, not to use a very reasonable alternative--- my guess is she's one of those nut jobs who creates a situation to complain about.

I'm becoming more modest as I get older. Honestly, if I had the option of joining a health club where families were in the dressing room vs one which had adults only rooms, I'd go with that second choice. Not because I'm a prude, but just because, frankly, I'm like you. I'd like to go be an adult with other adults at times. Some of the moms who go work out-- this is their ONLY time without kids all day. And this woman joined this facility knowing what the rules were.

What's more, this woman is incorrect. This is not a public place. Unless it is run through the parks and rec, this is a business. What's more, even if it is run through the city/county-- can't she read? Furthermore, I wouldn't ever want to subject my child to the upset of those who are offended that the child is in there. As I said, unless there's something you haven't mentioned, it's my opinion that she's using her kid to break rules on purpose and involving her kid in upsetting others. What's up with that?

Personally, when I see 18 and older at a health club, I wouldn't think that meant young children attending with an adult. I would think that means no teenagers alone.

But since there is the option of a family room, this mom is quite ignorant. And she is something else to say this is a "public place". People get a bit entitled to tell a facility they don't have to abide by their rules....if she don't like the rules she is free to leave; hmmm kinda reminds of of Hobby Lobby. This facility is probably going to let this woman do what she wants so they don't get sued. So sad people can't open their own companies and make their own rules only to get sued by entitled people.

BTW how the heck do you notice these woman w piercings on their girly parts????

I don't get it.
There is family dressing room yet she sits her kid in the adult locker room for the entire time?
I cannot imagine a situation where I would be MORE relieved to see a family dressing room!
AND if the staff mentioned it to me I would be doubly relieved that there was a family option!
The woman obviously has issues.

ETA: a bar is a "public place" too, but not an appropriate place for a child. Not all public places are child friendly or child legal!

Seeing women naked will not hurt that girl and I personally am quite comfortable in my own naked skin. I really think people get way too hung up on what is really just the "packaging" we all live in.

That being said I'd raise hell about a kid in the adult locker rooms. It's banned at every club/gym we've ever been members. I doubt it has anything to do with nudity and everything to do with peace and quiet.

I don't want a bunch of kids where I am trying to unwind and then get dressed. If I wanted to be pestered I'd shower at home!

Call the manager, make a deal about it, rules are rules. What if everyone brought their kids in there? I've got two little darlings of my own and when they were small a locker room like that was my little sanctuary. A trip to the gym was like a mini ADULT vacation and it saved my sanity many, many times.

Thing is the only one being hurt is the child and her mom is responsible for her. Privacy violation? It isn't like she is bringing her husband in there.

I used to be a member of the YMCA and although they recommended that children not be in the adult locker room it wasn't, technically required. I used to have women up my butt about having my daughter in there but it wasn't against the rules. It is a much nicer locker room and I was actually paying more than the uptight women that complained. Oddly, the men never complained about my son going through the men's locker room.

Considering you shouldn't be harmed by this I don't see what you are going for. It is the mom's choice to expose her kids to, oh my god, adult women's bodies

Now if the mom is complaining that you peek out from your towel from time to time that would be a huge problem.

Per your what happened, I get what you mean with bored kids sitting there watching you. As with everything I can only use my experience and when I was in the locker room with my daughter it was in and out! She never had time to look at anything but the inside of our locker for her clothes. In my situation the family locker room wasn't kept very clean, smelled of mold which I am allergic to big time, and didn't have locks on the lockers. It was gross! They had two levels of membership and two types single and family. I can't remember the name of the deluxe type membership but they wouldn't let me just upgrade me to that level, I had to add the family. So if I had to pay for them to be able to use that locker room I was going to use it, ya know?

The reason I ignored it was against the rules is that it sounds like a rule that is only enforced when a child is not being tended to. I mean my daughter would not have bothered you, we were all business and really she knew it was impolite to stare at anyone clothed or not. She would have bothered no one, not even you, so no one would have ever reported her. Now Damion and his sister running around, they would get reported and asked to leave. At least in my parts that is how those rules are enforced.

If it says "adult only", then that woman should abide by that policy and not bring her child into the locker room. I HATE it when people feel entitled and think that rules don't apply to them...I REALLY hate that. So, yeah, I'd be pretty upset if I was promised an adult-only locker room (and clearly, this is something you value and prefer) and some woman had the gall to plant her child there because, you know, her precious little angel and she get special treatment.

That being said, I have no problem with locker rooms NOT being adult-only. I have no problem with a child seeing me naked in a single sex locker room or my daughter seeing other naked women in a single sex locker room. I guess I don't see that there's anything shameful about the human body, piercings, tattoos and all. So that part isn't the issue for me.

My main peeve with this issue would be the lack of respect of that woman and NOT that she's exposing her child to naked bodies. That's HER parenting choice and shouldn't be any concern of yours. The clientele of the club expect an adult only locker room. By disregarding the policy, she's basically saying "eff you" to everyone there. She SHOULD abide by the club's rules, which are clearly indicated in writing and verbally to her. She's a real piece of work.

If you feel strongly about this (I think you do), keep reporting every time it happens. There's not much more you can do. They can keep telling her to stop, but I don't know if they'd ever do much more than that if she refuses. Maybe just hope she either stops or quits the club...

It's against the rules so the management should do something. On that I completely agree. As for the nudity- at that age, it's no big deal. I'm sure her mother probably walks around nude all the time, otherwise, she would have a problem with exposing her child to that.
However, I ran into a similar situation at the local pool. There's one family dressing room which was occupied. I waited and waited for over 20 minutes, and the door never opened (and was locked). It was 30 degrees outside and my child was soaking wet from swimming lessons. So I went into the adult locker room to get us dressed. I was not about to go out in the freezing cold with us soaking wet. And if the adults in there didn't like it, they just had to get over it in this case. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Eww. I'm with you on that one. You are entitled to your privacy. I wouldn't want little kids staring at my naked body. There are family dressing rooms for this woman and her kids.

You are a dues paying member of this club? If they call it an adult locker room and have rules in place, then this lady needs to respect them. If she keeps "pushing past them", then they need to revoke her membership. It sounds extreme, but she certainly has a lot of gall to tell the staff that the locker room rules don't apply to her.

Rules are rules, so you have a leg to stand on. However, I do think that it's a stupid rule and you are being oversensitive. IT's not like the child was running around screaming and destroying your peace. What difference does it make to be getting naked in front of a little girl child vs. her mother. It's just a body. It was only females in the room.

UPDATED: Aside from the handicap room, which no one should be using so it's available for handicap people...there is only one other shower available for a "real" shower without people viewing you from the pool and courts? Yep, she has every right in the world to go into the 18 and up locker room. I imagine the wait for the one real family shower room is long. I used to have to wait for the family shower rooms at the pool, after my son turned 6 and was too old to come into the women's locker room. So, I change my mind. Parents and children should be able to take proper showers in a gym too and not have to wait for the one shower room.

Original:
This is an eye opener for sure. I wouldn't think twice about a young girl in a locker room. We're all ladies and I'm so used to the swimming pool shower/locker rooms with all ages of nudity going on. The kids could care less about your nakedness. I do see your point that grown ups probably enjoy a nice, quiet spa like setting at the gym. I always thought the family changing rooms were supposed to be reserved for parents who were with opposite gender children who can't use the main locker rooms. I'll have to be more aware of this in the future, since it sounds like lots of women are sensitive to changing in front of children. Of course, if it is posted that the locker room is for 18 and up, I wouldn't take my kids in.

Added:
The family room has showers, with no curtains or doors, in alcoves, in a space that has glass at both ends and you can see from end to end, from other spaces in the facility?! That means it IS strictly for rinsing before a swim and only rinsing afterward -- adults can't shower in the "family room" unless they want to risk anyone in the entire club seeing them. That forces adults to either forego a shower and do it at home, or bring kids into the 18-and-up space if the adult needs a real shower. Please note -- I do agree that parents should not do that, but from the family room you describe, this facility or club is not providing an adequately private space for families. I would not have taken my kid, who needs to shower for real after swimming due to sensitive skin, into that family room for her to shower! So I wouldn't have been able to use your club, with my child, at all. It seems you think the family room is fine, but what you describe gives parents no option at all for a shower for children or themselves, since the room is basically visible to everyone in the facility. I'm surprised a family has not called them out on this. Again, if the club wants to be for over-18s only, that's just fine, but they can't expect to tell people kids are allowed and then assume that kids don't need showers, or don't mind taking them in view of others. You want your privacy. Even young kids deserve theirs too, and their parents should be able to have actual showers at the facility without violating the age rules for the adult locker room--From what you describe that does not sound possible.

Original reply:
If this is a membership club -- by which I mean, you pay to belong -- then you can talk to management about whether violation of the rules can result in their telling the violators that their memberships can be ended if they flout the rules repeatedly or if they refuse to do what staffers say. You write that a staffer said she'd told a mom (just "a" mom or this particular person?) not to take a child into the adult dressing room and the mom blew it off and pushed into the room anyway. I would suggest that the staff keep a log of those kinds of things and anyone who does it more than once (or however many times the management chooses as its limit) would be told that further infractions will cause the membership to be revoked. If you see this person with a child in the adult area again, I'd talk with the manager of the whole facility about their policies and how they intend to enforce them. Tell the manager that you are considering moving your membership elsewhere over this and you expect them to enforce the rules they have posted!

I would note that if this is a very busy place, and kids are able to use certain facilities like a pool -- the "family changing rooms" can be very busy. If these rooms only accommodate one family at a time, others have to wait (and possibly wait and wait) for that space to change. It happens at the county recreation centers here; kids are allowed in the changing rooms if accompanied (same-sex only if the kids are above a certain age) but there are also family rooms, yet getting one of those family changing rooms is pretty much a no-go at busy periods. There is a shower and toilet and it's lockable but it's essentially one very large bathroom, not a full multi-familiy changing area. I see lines of families with wiggly little kids getting frustrated standing around in the cold hallway waiting for those designated rooms. So while I'm definitely not defending those who flout the rules at your facility (where it's clearly 18 and up in the adult spaces), I wonder if the family changing rooms at your facility are so backed up that some parents have just given up on them. It would be worth checking out those spaces and telling management, if it seems the issue might be that the family rooms are inadequate. That may not be this one woman's reason for bringing in her child, but it IS a reason why some folks may do so at times, if the family rooms are like the ones I've seen.

As for your feelings about having a young child in the space where you're changing, that's your prerogative, but I would not feel that way at all. If kids are kept from even seeing same-sex adults change, they pick up on the idea that there's something wrong or somehow icky about shared shower spaces and public changing rooms--that will carry over to gym class later in school. That isn't useful. It's not like they're watching the opposite sex roaming a locker room in nothing but towels. I'm not about flaunting things and prefer to be covered even around other adult women, but the presence of a little girl wouldn't bother me; I doubt she'd be really staring at me and if she were, well, a good stare back and a "Can I help you?" will shut down most kids.

And it's not up to me to worry about her seeing other people's piercings or tattoos --that's her folks' job to handle, not mine.

I think that if the rule is adults only then this woman needs to respect the rules. The facility needs to be responsible for enforcing the rules. If this woman does not wish to follow the rules of the facility then she should have her membership revoked or just be banned from the facility.

I personally am not particularly uncomfortable with anyone, child or adult, male or female seeing me naked when changing in a locker room. (In fact, I think a child would be less judgmental than an adult.) I do believe everyone needs to respect the rules of the facility. That also includes women who bring opposite gender children into the women's change rooms.

Sounds like this woman has major power and control issues. I'm with Nervy Girl on this. It's nice to have some kid-free time even if the only way you can get it is by going to the gym!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with nudity, so this wouldn't bother me. I don't think a child will be harmed by seeing a naked body, and it seems to me that it should be up to the mother to worry about whether her children are exposed to nudity or not.

I live in a pretty hippie-ish area, and at festivals and such, children are often exposed to nude adults, and the kids seem pretty unfazed.

Are you worried about the kids, or do you not like the fact that the kids are watching you naked? I agree with you on a lot of things, Gamma G., but not on this one. I think the kids will be fine. Nothing wrong with a naked body.

I agree that if it says "Adults Only," then it should be adults only.

Get over yourself! If I needed to shower after working out, I would bring my children (boys and girls) into the women's locker room. The children aren't going to be damaged being "exposed" to naked bodies, they're not leering at you as you change or salaciously drooling over your body waiting for your towel to gap. The naked body is a beautiful and natural thing. As a mother and grandmother, I would think you'd understand that.
Yes, rules are rules, but she's not violating your rights to privacy in a PUBLIC SPACE. If you're so concerned for the well-being of this child, then by all means protect her from the psychological damage she will experience and change in a bathroom stall or in the privacy of your own home.
Frankly, you sound like the entitled one in this situation.

If there was a sign on the door for 18+, I would not take my daughter into that locker room. She should use the family room. It is similar, IMO, to the signage at our local pool that says that parents can only take their opposite gendered children in the locker room til they are 6. After that, the children should go through the locker room on their own or the families may use a family bathroom that is available to change (in part because they recognize that some people have disabilities that require help well past 6 yrs old).

If they put 18+ on the sign, they need to be willing to enforce it. If they are not willing to stop her, then that is a different problem other than privacy. I think someone needs to have the ovaries (so to speak) to tell her that her way is not an option. She can abide by the rules and use the family room or find another facility. If the desk staff are not going to do anything, then speak to the facility manager. Especially if you paid to be in that facility.

Regardless of who pierced what or is wearing what or is comfortable showing what, the mother has another option she is refusing to use and the signage is clear. She needs to be told to stop and they need to mean it.

I would focus on that rule. It is up to the mother what she exposes her children to in general (our pool locker room has plenty of naked but it's all women or girls or babies under 6) so I think the real issue is that they are letting her bully her way into what she wants.

ETA: If the family space is busy, then the mom needs to plan ahead. Most of the time my DD is already in her suit for the pool with a tshirt and shorts on, and when we leave is the only time she needs to change. In a pinch, I can change her in a restroom stall. Parenthood isn't an excuse to be a jerk.

I agree with you. The rules state no one under the age of 18. That includes this young child. Mom is incorrect that it is a public place. It is a business with certain rules. Management needs to get proactive with her and tell her no and if continued her membership will be revoked. I doubt they will do that but that is what they should do.

I chuckling about you bringing all the grandkids in and seeing their faces. That would make a statement!!! =)

I enjoy adult time and it sounds like you do as well.

And also to be clear, this is NOT like Hobby Lobby. Good grief.

I think that until the facility puts in a REAL family dressing room, this is going to continue to happen. The description of a room with glass doors on 2 sides and showers with no curtains is not a family locker room.

The bottom line is that the facility has put in place a rule they can't enforce, because there is no acceptable alternative for parents who want to shower and get dressed like everyone else.

Having worked at a pool before the family locker rooms can get tied up and I do get there maybe signs posted for a specfic age. Yes there are rules, anyone that has had children of their own or have taken care of children know it can be difficult sometimes. As a mom we do the best we can with what we are given on a daily basis. I maybe could understand if she brought her 8 year old son into the ladies locker room but a preschoolish age girl, not sure I would get bent out of shape about that. Too many other things in the world that are important to worry about.

Since a family changing/shower room is provided with equal amenities (and no doubt for precisely the reasons you cite), she should be following the rules. I do think it's up to the parents what their children see, but the other side of it is that adults are entitled to some child-free time when provisions are made for those with kids. That could be a family changing area (ideal) or a babysitting area (way more fun for the kids). The other factor, from the gym's standpoint, is that there are steam/sauna areas which are dangerous for children (body temperatures rise too quickly etc.) - so it's a liability issue. They shouldn't have to post a staff person to ensure that this woman doesn't do anything dumb - and since she already disobeys one rule there is no reason to think she wouldn't allow her child to do other things against policy as well.

Someone on the staff needs to find a backbone and terminate this woman's membership if she would not follow the rules.

No, I don't think it's a violation of your privacy. What's the difference if they're 3 or 30?

If the gym has the rule if 18 and younger it should be respected. I don't think the gym would pay someone to monitor the people entering the locker room unless fees were higher.

However, I don't have an issue being in a locker room or spa with other ladies getting dressed. We are all female, just different sizes and I'm not ashamed of my body or so modest that I have to hide to change clothes to remain private.

I don't think a child or anyone is looking at you or anyone else specifically. We are usually there for a purpose and are on the locker room to shower, dress and leave.

I would not feel violated and wouldn't think twice about it.

Hopefully your schedule change will alleviate the issue.

The last family locker room I was in had curtained alcoves where people changed, toweled dry, etc.
Moms and Dads brought their kids and everyone was descent enough not to be showing any nudity outside of any of the alcoves.
It's not up to you to decide what those parents want to expose their kids to but you have the right to be able to change/dress/dry in relative privacy.
If it's available - YOU go ahead and use the family changing room and then you'll be sure no one is peeking up your towel or looking at you in a mirror.

Additional:
You need a wrap around towel robe.
Take a look at this thing (it should be perfect - you could order it on the large side (for me baggy is comfortable)):

http://www.womanwithin.com/clothing/Wearable-towel-by-Dre...

My initial thought was that she should definitely be using the family dressing area. However, your description makes it sound like that really isn't an appropriate place for anyone to shower and get ready either.

Yes, she is breaking the rules by bringing her child in the adult only locker room. Does the facility offer childcare? If not, what would you expect her to do with her child? No way in hell would I leave a small child unattended to go into a locker room.

Frankly, it sounds like the facility is not a good fit for her needs. In her place, I would either find a way so that I did not have to bring my child to the gym with me or I would go to a facility that was more family-friendly.

My honest opinion?.....I would keep my child (little one) in a safe place....that means....close to me where I can see him/her...the rest of the story is just part of life.

If it's a rule, then it's a rule. They have the right to ask her to leave, or revoke her membership for violating it. I do find it a rather bizarre rule (assuming you are talking about a gym), where we go there is a men's locker room, and a woman's locker room. After swimming lessons or open swim, the woman's locker room is flooded with kids (little boys and girls) and while I feel bad for those not with kids it is what it is. They need to change too. If she has the option of using a family changing room, she should. But I understand why she's annoyed.

I am not concerned about the nudity part. Hey we are all women and if I can change in front of a bunch of adults I can change in front of a small child.

I am concerned about not following the rules.

At our facility children of the opposite sex over the age of five have to walk through their own gender's locker rooms to reach the pool. The first time I sent my son at age six through the men's locker room I raced to meet him on the other side. Now he just calmly walks through door to door. My daughter walks through with me. It is a big open space for changing, so if you don't have a towel you are naked in a large room.

Now within this space there is a room with a door that closes that is marked Adult Only 18+, it is smaller, nicer, and more private for changing. I have thought about taking my daughter in there a few times because it is just a nicer place to change. HOWEVER, I have NEVER actually taken her in there...why...because it is marked as Adults 18+ Only.

What would I be teaching her if I didn't follow the posted rules? What would I be teaching my son if I continued to drag him through the women's room over the age of five? That the rules don't apply to us, or them?

I don't have to pay my money to continue to go to this facility. If the rules bothered me so much I could go to a different place/gym/pool.

I would be ticked if I were there without my kids and finally got to use the nice adult only space to have it being used by another mom with her kids.

If you don't like the rules either work to change them OR go some place else.

I agree, its totally inappropriate for a child to watch this AND its against the rules. I would love a family changing room, whats wrong with this woman! Hey Im in my 40's and I even have a hard time with the women who walk around buck naked without even a towel and bend over! Its a little unseemly and completely out of line for a child who knows what they're seeing.

Maybe say to the woman really nicely "hey, did you know theres a family room thats totally private :)" ...act like you're trying to be helpful.

It's against the rules, period. Another type of locker room is available for her use. Just because this is a "public" place does not mean she doesn't have to follow the rules. The staff needs to tell her to use the family locker room, not bring the kid, or cancel her membership.

The problem, as I see it, is that one mom brought a child into an 18+ dressing room. Whether the child was well-behaved is not the issue. The problem is that now the precedent has been set, and the door is open. So Mom A brings little well-behaved Child A into the dressing room and Child A sits and reads quietly, not making a peep or moving an inch. Mom B sees this, brings Child B. Child B is a 2 year old boy. Mom C brings Children C, who are 3 and 5. And they run around playing with the soap and having a party. Perhaps Child D will be another super quiet kid, but maybe Child E will be a rebel demon. It has to be all or nothing, because you can't tell a mom "your kid is a horror but the 'good' kids can come in". I don't see it as an environment issue, so much as an "opening the flood gates" kind of issue. Ask your gym managers where they would draw the line. Are they prepared to monitor every child's behavior and determine what constitutes acceptable behavior and confront the moms? Or will they enforce the rule so that it's the same for everyone. I think maybe the only exception could be for infants less than 12 months in a car seat. That wouldn't bother me.