Will a Doctor Give a Note to Excuse a Child from Changing for Gym?

Okay, here's the deal--- yes, a stall is fine, but learning to adjust is even better.

A few weeks ago, my son went off to Scout camp. He didn't want to shower in front of the other boys. He proposed a few different options (including not fully undressing, Ha!).... I told him "listen, everyone else is doing this too. You are going to get more attention by trying not to be naked than you are if you just get in there and take the shower." Worked!

I've been in groups of women (esp in boot camp) where one or two don't want to fully undress or something like that. Guess what? Those were the people who got the most attention because they weren't doing what was normal for the situation. I remember being self-conscious of my body at that age, but it doesn't help to not do it, or to be late coming out for the class. (and possibly marked tardy). So, I strongly suggest letting her get used to doing this, even if it's in a stall, but do NOT get her a doctor's note or even entertain the idea. It doesn't help her in the long run. I

There are a lot of things we don't like to do, but we do them. Nobody likes to change for gym, but it's one of those things we all have to do. Get her sports bras to wear on gym days. They offer more coverage than most bathing suits. Get her underwear in solid colors other than white.
Then, tell her she is going to have to suck it up. The first few times will seem awful, but after that it will be no big deal.

Locker rooms have toilet stalls. If she doesn't want to change around other kids, she can change in a toilet stall.

She actually does have something to worry about, and for you to dismiss it may be making the problem worse.

Kids worry about being picked on, bullied, mocked, singled out, and those kinds of things happen in middle school and high school - even elementary school.

So instead of telling her there's nothing to worry about, try to empathize. Try saying "yes, it can be scary." Perhaps your daughter is much further along in her physical development than other girls her age, or much further behind. Maybe she's very overweight or very underweight. Maybe she's already a foot taller than her peers. Or maybe if we looked at a group photo of her and her classmates, she'd blend right in - perfectly in sync with the others' development and height and weight.

So start building a firm foundation within your daughter. What she's feeling is perfectly normal. But how she learns to deal with uncomfortable situations will make a difference for a long time to come. As others have said, there are certain little "tricks" to make changing in a public place less awkward. Help her learn to make this a strength - she can develop empathy, and learn how cruel bullying can be, and make sure that she never participates in making any other girl feel uncomfortable. Give her power and steady strength even in the face of uncomfortable situations.

The best way to help your daughter is to help her keep perspective. By encouraging and insisting that she get through this awkward and uncomfortable experience, you're building her self-confidence and her courage. The more of these situations she learns to deal with, the better she'll be as she grows. At some point, there'll be another, larger challenge. Maybe it'll be trying out for a school play or going off to college or applying for a job -- who knows? If she has success dealing with things she doesn't want to face as a younger kid, she'll have greater courage in dealing with bigger challenges as an older child, or teenager or adult. Insist and support -- that's what you should do.

It starts in middle school here, 6th grade. It's mandatory.

No a Dr won't write a note.

ALL students do it. She'll get used to it. She's not completely undressed. She can learn to strategically change based on what she wore to school that day.

I hope get can get over this self consciousness and realize it's not a big deal. Exceptions were not made at our schools for someone just afraid to change and grades were impacted. It's a learning experience and she'll be ok.

Keep telling her it will be ok. If it continues, I'd see a counselor to figure out why she's having so much trouble with this.

She needs to learn how to solve her own problems without mom running to try to rescue her. Try having her change into her gym outfit at home and figure out how to put it on without totally undressing all at once.Remind her that most of the girls aren't comfortable changing and as long as she does it fast she'll survive.

So my advice is to stay out of it and let her figure it out. If you work on trying to get her out of every situation that makes her uncomfortable she won't be confident to make decisions on her own. Remember your job is to raise her to be a responsible adult.

Forget the note, this is not a medical issue. Why not just tell her to change in the bathroom stall? That's what I did, as a kid (I developed early), and that is still what I do now as an adult (I guess I am modest/conscious, or a combination of both). My elementary school teacher never questioned me about changing in the bathroom stall, she probably saw that I had breasts and figured it was for the best that I'd do that. Another classmate of mine got her period at the age of 8 and the whole class found out, so the teacher never questioned her whenever she decided to change in the bathroom nor tried singling her out.

If the bathroom stalls were full, then I would put my gym polo on top of my other regular polo and then pull my arms and elbows inward to remove the first shirt through my neck area. We wore skirts (uniform) so putting the PE pants on was no issue, I would put those underneath my skirt, then unzip the skirt and remove it, that simple. In high school for that one semester of gym that was required in order to graduate, I would do the same trick, the only difference would be that for changing the pants, I'd just go in the stall, pee and take advantage of the fact I was in there to switch out my pants.

No one ever seemed to care, no one questioned me, and no one still seems to care on the rare occasion I find myself in a fitness gym locker room or public pool, though I usually just go home in my gym clothes or wet swimsuit and shower and change there. If worse comes to worse and she cannot change in a stall or pull off the magician's trick to undress that I described, tell her to face the wall while she undresses. They won't be able to see her front (chest) and will only see her back, assuming she is conscious of her breasts or her belly. She could also try wearing a tube top under her clothes which will hide her chest, if again, this is what she's conscious about.

What do they wear for gym?
My dd wears a pair of stretchy gymnastics shorts under her clothes, all she has to do is take off her outer layer and voila.
Otherwise, what I used to do is slip on the shorts before I take off a shirt (so I'm pretty much covered and keep my back turned toward the locker so no one could see my front when I put the top on.
Everybody else was pretty busy getting themselves dressed. They didn't have time to worry about me.

Every other student has to do it, and none of us really feel comfortable with it at that age. Help her learn to feel more comfortable in her own skin and to understand that naked bodies are no big deal, coddling her will not help her and if your school is like my kids she will fail gym if she continuously looses points for non-dress.

She can always change in the toilet or wear boy shorts and camisoles/tanks under her cloths if she is really that self conscience about it.

How old is she and has she ever changed for gym?

If it's really bad, I would talk to school counsellor and see if there's a washroom she could use.

It depends on your kid of course, but I try not to give in to these kinds of things. One of my kids had anxiety and didn't like the bus. She got used to it by us helping her cope with her anxiety. It really wasn't about the bus.

Nothing. No one likes changing for gym, but sometimes you have to do things that make you uncomfortable anyway. After the first few times, she'll be used to it, even if she doesn't like it. I think her options are 1) find a bathroom stall in the locker room 2) get there as soon as possible and change as quickly as possible in the furthest corner

How is this a medical issue? How could a doctor claim this is a medical issue? That's what I would be asking myself as a parent. Unless she has paralyzing anxiety that has been diagnosed, I think you're on thin ice here.

You have to find a new way of working with her. Repeating "it will be all right" isn't enough. So go to some other coping strategies. Like everyone else, she can decide to go pee before class, and do a QUICK change in the stall (no tying up the toilet for a long change process). She can wear cover-up clothing on gym days - camisoles, a light weight tank top that her gym shirt goes over, and so on. Regular shirt off, gym shirt on, 5 seconds. She can wear underpants with better coverage - there are some with the unfortunate name of "boy shorts" for example. She can learn to face a wall or the locker and be quick, just like most other girls in the locker room.

You can also work with her (and get some helpful books for girls her age from the librarian) on body changes and how everyone is different and on a different developmental "schedule." She might learn that this is an uncomfortable time for many kids, and many of her friends are feeling the same way. A little mutual respect and discretion can go a long way. She might feel better knowing that no one else is that interested in her body and that no one of any consequence would be critical of her. Some girls are helped by reading the stories of our Olympic athletes, particular those who are teens (think gymnastics and swimming for starters).

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Tell your daughter to get over it. I know that sounds harsh, but tell her that people are so busy changing - they aren't paying attention to others.

Unless she's been evaluated and has some mental issue? I doubt any doctor will give her a note so she doesn't have to change in front of anyone at school.

She won't want to stink after gym - so tell her to just do it. Have her stuff ready to go and be quick and efficient. She's stressing over something that is minor - they aren't going to be watching her. I GET and TOTALLY understand PRIVACY _ but at school? They aren't looking - just like at a private gym/club? People aren't sitting in the locker rooms watching others change. They mind their own business.

Tell her to change in the bathroom. When I was in school if we didn't change for gym class, our grade was lowered. You were marked as absent even though you were there.

She's going to be fine. I know she doesn't want to do this, but she can and she really is going to be fine.

We all have to face this at some point in our lives. All of us women have had to have our annual exam. It sucked the first time! I was so embarrassed and upset and I really made a big deal out of it. It was better the second time and after a few times I stopped being embarrassed. I never liked it! I don't look forward to it! But I got used to it to the point that I don't let it bother me.

I know it's not quite far to compare changing in the locker room in front of her peers to having a gynecological exam, but to her, right now, it is fair. That's how she feels, and her feelings are valid. But she really is going to get past those first few days of gym class, and she really is going to be fine.

No doctor is going to write a not to get her out of a pap test, and a doctor isn't going to write a note to get her out of changing her clothes for gym class.

But she really is going to be fine!

I remember hating changing for gym. I remember it seemed a lot of other kids felt the same way. It was just so uncomfortable. What she does is she learns to change really fast and in a way where she shows as little as possible. I don't think you should do anything about it...it's a part of life. Life has uncomfortable moments. Just empathize with her. But also tell her it's no big deal. As an adult I don't have that self consciousness and could care less if I have to change in a locker room.

In high school and middle school around here - changing is mandatory - and there are gym uniforms - and they are mandatory too.
Teens just stink too much to be walking around in sweaty clothes all day.
I don't know if anything about this has changed lately but our doctors would give a note to skip gym for medical reasons - like a broken limb or sprained ankle or recovering from surgery - and if it was something like a sprain - the school system considered a note to be good for 1 week - otherwise (if it were something more serious) a second note from the doctor would have to be sent to clear the student to resume physical activity.
You can certainly sit at a desk a week after appendicitis but you need longer for the stitches to heal up so gym would be out of the question.
A doctors note for embarrassment for changing clothes I think would have to be in relation to a pretty severe ongoing mental condition - but I could be wrong.
(By the way, the special ed kids in my sons school have to change for gym too but they do it before going to the gymnasium and their aids help them. They don't do this in the locker rooms.)
Back in my day (the 70's), the locker room had lockers and no private changing alcoves (something to pull a curtain across) or stalls but my son told me his HS locker room has these - so it's not the embarrassment we all know so well from when I was a kid.
But not all schools are the same.

My girls wore camisoles under their clothes and would leave it on during gym. I think most middlescholera feel uncomfortable but they will get over it.

I would not even consider asking a doctor for a note.

I am assuming that she has to change? In my child's middle school they have PE clothes that match and they have to wear it or they are not suited up and lose credit for that day.
Maybe suggest to her that she change in the bathroom? Or show her easy ways to change so that she is not showing everything. (in the corner, quick change of the shirt. Then sit down, take off pants, put shorts on, quickly stand up.)

Why does she have to change? Most people just wear stretchy clothes...

Take her to the changing room during the school day, right after school, and show her where the toilets are. Tell her to change in there.

Unless she has diagnosed anxiety and under a dr's care for it there is no note that I know of that can get you out of it. Find out if she can change if the restroom stall in the locker room that's what a lot of us did. If not make sure her gym sure is plenty long and teach her how to change shirts without taking one off before getting the other on or almost on. and if it's long it will cover her bottom half more. Good luck

I use to wear my gym clothes underneath my clothes and change in the bathroom in a stall , a bunch of us did that. If anyone said anything , I would smile and be like Oh I had to pee before gym.

show he how to change without showing anything, let her know its ok to change in a bathroom stall, the school i went to had 3 individual shower stalls and you could change in those if you wanted to change in private. the dr will most likely not give a not for this. but do talk to them and see if they have a recommendation for a therapist to help your child get thru this

How old is she? If she doesn't change into gym clothes, then her clothing choices that day are going to be somewhat limited, and she'll be sweating in them. I'd be concerned that she's going to be walking around with body odor the rest of the day, or that other kids are going to make fun of her.

Instead of trying to avoid changing, I'd try talking to the teacher and see if there's anything else can be done to try to make her more comfortable. For instance, maybe she can change in a bathroom stall, or stay in the locker room for a few minutes after everyone else enters the gym so that she can have a moment of privacy.

I get it. I was way more developed than anyone when I was that age and there wasn't a chance I'd be changing in front of anyone, I still wouldn't. And tell her you understand how she feels and it's ok. She can go in a stall or figure out ways to to change without showing much as suggested below.

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I get it. I was way more developed than anyone when I was that age and there wasn't a chance I'd be changing in front of anyone, I still wouldn't. And tell her you understand how she feels and it's ok. She can go in a stall or figure out ways to to change without showing much as suggested below.

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I get it. I was way more developed than anyone when I was that age and there wasn't a chance I'd be changing in front of anyone, I still wouldn't. And tell her you understand how she feels and it's ok. She can go in a stall or figure out ways to to change without showing much as suggested below.

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I get it. I was way more developed than anyone when I was that age and there wasn't a chance I'd be changing in front of anyone, I still wouldn't. And tell her you understand how she feels and it's ok. She can go in a stall or figure out ways to to change without showing much as suggested below.

Help her to develop creative techniques for modesty. The "art" of pulling off one shirt while pulling on another, wearing a camisole underneath, etc. No one is suggesting that she needs to be comfortable doing naked backflips across the locker room.